A/N: Here comes a new chapter and I'm still so happy that you seem to like this story so much *dances happily* I hope you will like the new chapter too, even though it's not the most happy one…
Comments would be most appreciated *Reid-puppy-eyes*
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And thank you very much rinswan, Blue-Eyed Chica, Boingogirl, blackwolfs900, ShindouRen, ReadingYourThoughts, LoveforPenandDerek (you'll find out later why she knows about them *g*), misswildfire, martina, 68luvcarter, SpenceMeReid, MornING AftER daRK, lilfiftyfour, SagepunkSom, ladykale1985, XthirteenX, clanofrachel and brokenangelwings16 for your kind reviews *hugs*
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Disclaimer: None of the CM characters belong to me… I just borrowed them for this little story… my OC'S do belong to me though… this story doesn't mean to offend anybody… this is just for fun… and not for money either...
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Chapter 3
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After a hard day, Morgan slumped into the seat of the SUV and released a deep sigh.
This day had been hell and more, before the profilers had finally decided to call it a night.
At least they had narrowed down their suspect list and now they could leave it to the local police to round all their suspects up.
And Officer Morrison promised to call them as soon as something was completely going wrong, if they all agreed to come to the station the next day, Morrison had promised to let the profilers sleep through the night.
Normally, Morgan would be more than happy to get a decent night's sleep two days in a row on a hard case, but sleep wasn't on his mind while Hotch drove them both back to the hotel.
A short glance at Aaron told Derek that the unit chief didn't really look forward to going back to the hotel either.
After Spencer had stormed out of the station, they had both wanted to go after their youngest lover, but they couldn't leave, because they had a job to do and it would be hard enough to explain Reid's absence to the rest of the team.
And so, as much as they had wanted to go, they were too responsible to leave and they'd tried to tell themselves the whole day that it was probably better to give Reid some space, anyway, so that the young genius could calm down and they'd be able to talk.
But now, even though neither Morgan, nor Hotch said it out loud, they both feared that Spencer might resent them even more for not coming after him, especially since he had basically accused the both of them that they didn't love him.
Derek had told Aaron exactly what had happened, when they had had a minute to themselves and Hotch had said nothing, because he hadn't had any idea what to say.
He had just pulled Morgan into a hug and had whispered into his hear, that he was sure, that Reid wouldn't leave them, because they wouldn't let him leave.
The ride to the hotel was spent in a tense silence, and even Garcia, who was once again sitting in the backseat, didn't utter a single word.
Of course she had realized Reid's absence and she hadn't bought the excuse that Spencer felt sick, for a second, because she had seen how the three of them had acted the whole day.
And even though Garcia had wanted to confront Hotch and Morgan, she could see how confused and hurt they were by Reid's behavior, so she decided to leave it be, at least for now.
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"You think that Spencer is really going to leave us?" Morgan immediately questioned, once him and Hotch were alone in the hotel hallway in front of their room.
And even though Derek had asked the question a dozen times already, he needed to hear Aaron say that they wouldn't let him leave and that they would make things right between them again... because that stopped him from completely freaking out.
Aaron sighed and was about to tell him exactly what the other man wanted to hear and what Hotch had persuaded himself to believe, but he couldn't… not now, in front of their hotel room, because he wasn't so sure of the answer anymore.
"We need to talk to him and then we'll see." Hotch admitted, his heard beating a little faster when he slowly pushed open the door to the room Reid and Hotch shared, well at least that was the answer everybody got when asked… Morgan was sharing with Garcia for cover, even though they always spent the night together.
"Spencer, baby?" Hotch called, stepping into the dark room, half expecting and half hoping to find Reid asleep on one bed, curled around a pillow, but when Derek turned on the lights, they found the room completely empty… and all of Reid's things were gone…
Hotch and Morgan looked at each other, devastation written on their faces.
That Spencer had even fled the room made things a lot worse, because normally if he was mad at them, he would just sit on the bed and pout until Morgan and Hotch just couldn't take it anymore, cuffed his hands to the bed and showed the young genius exactly how sorry they were by worshipping his delicious body in all ways possible.
But leaving their hotel room… that just drove home the fact, that maybe they would really lose Spencer, even though they still had no idea what exactly was going on here and they didn't even know where Reid was, even though both had a pretty good idea where he'd fled to.
Morgan's eyes finally fell on a piece of paper that was resting on the pillow of the bed that Hotch and Morgan had shared the night before.
He nudged Aaron gently to alert him to the letter and Hotch only nodded, a grim expression on his face, trying to hide the fear that this might be a break-up letter.
Morgan sat down on the bed heavily and waited until Aaron had settled beside him with the letter in his hands.
"Do you think, that…" Derek trailed off, because not asking the question if this was Spencer's way to end things between them, made it less real.
"Only one way to find out." Hotch murmured, leaning against Morgan's shoulder, because he needed the support before reading, as much as he needed to give Derek support.
Then he took another deep breath and started reading the words written in Spencer's neat handwriting out loud:
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"Hotch, Morgan,
I'm going to stay with Garcia tonight, seeing as she has a free bed.
I know we need to talk, but I just can't do this right now.
I need my space to clear my head and you probably do too
I'm sorry for storming out earlier and I know that it was unprofessional of me, but I needed to get away.
So please don't go running down to Garcia's room and drag me back here, Morgan…
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Aaron stopped reading and had to chuckle a little sadly when Derek froze on the spot… he had indeed about to get up and bring Reid back into their arms where he belonged.
That showed them again, how well Reid knew them by now.
Morgan gave Hotch a guilty smile and sat down beside him again and nodded for Aaron to continue reading.
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I'm not a little kid anymore and I can take care of myself for one night.
And don't worry, I'll be able to do my job again tomorrow…
Reid
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The last sentence of the letter was smudged with tears… there was no "I love you", he didn't even call them by their first names…
And that worried Morgan and Aaron even more.
Sure, the letter gave them hope, that Reid was at least ready to talk to them tomorrow, but it also made them realize that they were at a crucial point in their relationship and if they didn't find out what was going on with Reid, that they might lose the younger man.
Morgan broke the tense silence that had settled between them after Hotch had finished reading the letter.
"One of us should have gone after him immediately… then maybe he wouldn't have left. I mean… as far as things look, he feels left out and us not following him didn't' exactly tell him otherwise…" Derek trailed off helplessly and lowered his head.
Aaron put a gentle hand on Derek's knee.
"Spencer knows that we have a job to do and maybe he's right and it really is good for all of us to spend a night apart to clear our heads." Hotch tried to sound reassuring, but doubt colored his voice.
He had no idea if they'd be able to make things right, but he desperately wanted to.
"But… how are we supposed to sleep without Spencer here?" Morgan questioned, his voice unusually quiet.
He felt so helpless and he hated that feeling more than anything.
Aaron sighed again and leaned a little closer towards his lover, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek.
"We managed yesterday, we'll manage tonight."
His voice was bitter, because he realized that this was part of the whole disaster that was their relationship right now.
Morgan and Hotch still felt incredibly guilty that they hadn't noticed that Spencer hadn't spent the night in the same bed as them… Reid always seemed to know when one of them wasn't in bed, because he always started to get restless when Hotch or Morgan got up in the night to go to the bathroom or drink something and he only calmed down when all three were back in bed together.
"But Aaron… what are we going to do, if Spencer really wants to leave us?" Derek knew he sounded like a child, but right now he had no idea what to think or to feel… he just wanted Spencer back with them… it didn't feel right without him here.
Aaron shook his head in denial…. This was not going to happen, Spencer was not going to leave them, but Hotch could also understand how Derek felt, because he felt exactly the same.
The unit chief pulled Morgan into his arms, resting his head on Derek's shoulder, his arms tightly wrapped around the other man.
He knew that he needed to be the one to stay hopeful, so he started speaking softly.
"I've told you before and I'm going to tell you again: We're not going to let that happen, Derek. Spencer belongs with us and we're going to show him how much we love him and we're going to set him straight about whatever doubts he has in this relationship." He assured.
Derek had to smile softly, because it all sounded so easy when Aaron said it and Morgan wanted to keep feeling like this.
So he suggested: "Maybe we should go to sleep. We've got to catch a serial killer after all and we've to win back our Spencer… so tomorrow is going to be a busy day."
When Aaron nodded, Derek kissed the other man gently and then they both got ready for bed, clinging to each other almost painfully just to reassure themselves that at least they had each other, no matter what the outcome with Spencer would be.
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Garcia was more than a little surprised when she had found Spencer in her room, sitting on one of the beds, his knees drawn to his chest, his head resting on them and his unruly hair hiding his face.
Garcia sat down beside her baby genius and put a gentle hand on the top of his head, running her hand through his curls for a second to soothe him a little.
"Don't you want to tell me why you want to sleep here and not with my choco muffin and the bossman?" She questioned, worry growing inside her. Something was seriously wrong in Morgan's, Hotch's and Reid's relationship and Garcia wanted to help if she could, because she could easily see how much the three men needed each other.
Spencer looked up and Garcia was shocked to see how red his eyes were… he had probably been crying for quite a while and even now his voice was unsteady.
"They don't need me there… not anymore…"
The words were so unexpected and stunned Garcia into momentary silence.
She looked at the younger man with wide eyes and then she couldn't take it anymore and pulled the younger man into her arms.
"Spencer, honey, how on earth did you get that idea? Derek and Hotch love you more than anything." She said with conviction, because she really believed that to be true.
Reid only shrugged helplessly and his shoulders shook with a quiet sob.
"Then why didn't they even notice I wasn't with them last night? There wasn't even room for me in their bed… if it's Hotch or Morgan coming back late, there's always room… so why not for me?"
Now his sniffles turned to sobs again and he buried his head against Garcia's shoulder.
The woman couldn't even believe what she was hearing.
"Wait a minute, just because thy hogged the bed for one night, you convince yourself that they don't need you anymore?" She questioned and continued, before Reid even had the time to answer: "I'm sure it wasn't intentional… they were just tired and fell asleep… this case has been hard for all of us."
She wanted to say more, but she trailed off when Reid's sobs became even harder.
"It's not only because I had to spend a night alone in the other bed… it's what that night represents… they… they looked so happy… so content with each other… just like… just like they don't need me anymore… neither Derek nor Aaron have ever looked that content with only me by their side… it… it made it clear to me that they see me as a nice addition when they want to have sex… but… but as soon as it comes to the serious feelings and emotions, I'm just not good enough…"
Spencer's little speech was always interrupted by sobs and now he was crying harder than before and Garcia had no real idea what to do now… she wanted to go to Hotch and Morgan and show them exactly what they had done to her baby genius, no matter if it was intentional or not, but she knew she needed to comfort Spencer and make him realize that things probably weren't as he pictured them.
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She separated a little from Reid and forced him gently to look her in the eyes.
"Come on, Spencer. You can't really believe what you've just been telling me… this is just some misunderstanding and if you tell your two lovers what's wrong, then they'll show you how wrong you really are…" She said, trying to sound soothing and a little cheerful at the same time.
Garcia was also about to say more, when Reid shook his head, tears still trickling down his cheeks.
"This is not a misunderstanding… Morgan even told me so today…"
The words sounded so matter-of-fact and bitter that Garcia knew that Reid really believed that Derek had told him that, but she just couldn't believe that Morgan would ever say something like this to Spencer… and Hotch would never say something like that either.
Garcia knew, without a doubt, how much Hotch and Morgan loved the young genius and how much they wanted to make him happy.
"What exactly did Derek say?" She questioned gently, hoping to find a reasonable explanation why Spencer was not cuddling with Hotch and Morgan right now, but was sitting on her bed, crying his eyes out.
"He told me… that… that I'm not even worth his jealousy when someone seems to flirt with me… because he simply doesn't believe that someone might be interested in me…"
A small part of Reid's brain told him, that this was not anything near what Morgan had said, but the bigger part of Spencer, the one that felt left out and hurt, made him believe that Derek had meant it like this.
Garcia's eyes widened and for a second she was half tempted to ask who had been hitting on Reid, but she knew that that was not important right now.
"Oh honey, I'm sure Derek didn't mean it like that… he probably was jealous that someone showed interest in you and didn't want to admit it." She tried to sooth and wanted to pull Reid in her arms again, but Reid fled to the other bed and climbed into it.
"I don't want to talk about this anymore… I just want to sleep…" He muttered, crawled under the covers and pulled them up under his nose, curling into a ball, wrapped around a pillow.
Garcia watched him sadly and knew that it was of no use to continue this talk right now, so she got ready for bed herself.
When she heard Spencer sobbing himself to sleep, she vowed to have a nice little chat with Derek and Hotch if the two didn't fix things with Spencer as soon as possible… if they didn't… well… she had her ways to hurt them where it hurt the most…
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to be continued…
