Authors Note:
Italics stand for when someone is speaking a language other than English.
...
Slowly Ivan started to hear noises as if coming from a long tunnel. Why was it so hard to hear? His head pounded, he doubted the light and the shouting was helping much. Wait. Shouting? What were they saying? Something about a doctor? Finally memories of the night came flooding to his conscious. He groaned knowing this was going to be a mess and slowly blinked open his eyes. Bright, blinding light was shining from the light above him. He turned slightly and saw the broken sink and his pipe. Reaching out and grabbing his trusty weapon he used it to help him stand. His head wanted to split in two and it felt like it was stuffed with cotton but otherwise he was fine now.
He finally turned to address the frantic business man behind him, looking stunned for just a moment by seeing what he probably thought was a dead man stand. Once the initial shock wore off he started to ask rapid fire questions: Are you ok? Who are you? What are you doing here? How did this happen? Is that your uniform? You didn't steal anything did you? Why do you have pen on your forehead? Are you drugged? Or maybe drunk? I've called an ambulance and the cops so they should be here shortly…
Looking in the mirror he saw the pen the man spoke of. Glaring at his reflection and the poorly drawn abomination on his head he thought of all the ways Alfred was going to pay dearly for this. Wiping off the pen with the water dripping from the broken sink Ivan's eyes narrowed, an ambulance and cops? Not good. He was already going to be in a lot of trouble with his superiors as it was for ditching the meeting. He could only imagine how much worse getting the common people involved would be.
He turned to the man and slowly approached him, the man backed into the wall and stared up at Ivan with pure terror in his eyes. "You will not tell anyone I was here and you will forget about everything, yes?" The man nodded in mute horror. Ivan patted him on the head, "Good boy!" Smiling down at the man he turned and left walking out the front door and out into the bustle of the morning streets. Making a phone call he told his boss where to find him, after many threats he hung up saying that they would discuss this in his office. Lovely just what Ivan wanted. He pulled out his vodka and drank a bit while he waited, hoping to dull the pain in his skull.
The door shut tight behind him as soon as he walked in. He really did not wish to have this conversation but he knew it would have to happen eventually. His boss stared at him from the desk with cold critical eyes probably taking in the bruises he had on his face. "So, what happened? Why did you just disappear? And why in god's name were you found unconscious in a destroyed office bathroom?!"
Oh great so he knew that detail already. Well he certainly could not tell him the truth. If anyone found out America had been involved then this would get too out of hand. Plus, he still wanted to question the blonde about that note he mentioned. That was why he had concocted a plausible story in the car over. "There was a spy who wanted to listen in to our meeting. When the guards were unable to catch him, I pursued him." He frowned, "Unfortunately, he caught me off guard and knocked me out. I suspect he may have been from Poland." A decent mix of both truth and lie that should be believable.
"How were you taken by surprise? Let alone by a spy from Poland of all places?!" Ivan sighed, he knew his boss would pick up on that. He didn't want to share the information he would next, partially because it was true, but he knew he would have to for his story to be believed.
"If you have not noticed I'm not in the best of health. Because of current affairs, I have become much weaker. I do not know if I could win many fights in my condition."
His boss paused, face going blank. He appeared to be thinking long and hard, but he looked down and waved Ivan away. Apparently he bought the story. Ivan walked out to the car and told the driver to bring him home.
While he looked up at his house the car drove away. He never really took in its appearance anymore but just this once he noticed. It was large, grand even, he remembered when it was first built a few decades ago. It was perfect, a work of art and the pinnacle of architecture. However now he could see the paint had faded and places where the trim was broken and showing its age. It seemed even his house was growing weary of this age.
The loud thunk of the massive wooden doors closing reverberated through the house as he entered. "Hello master Ivan." Toris greeted.
"Hi Toris." he responded curtly.
"I made food if you're hungry."
"Yes, thank you." Toris followed Ivan into the kitchen. He kept staring and fidgeting as he filled a bowl with borscht. "Yes Toris? You want to ask me something?" he sighed.
The brunette jumped, really he was too easy to read at times. "Ah, yes! Um, how was the meeting?"
"Fine. Well, until America showed up." he muttered.
"Аmerica?"
"Yes. In fact, could you call him for me? I want to discuss something with him." He'd most likely answer if it was Toris who called him.
"Of course. What do you want to talk to him about?" Remembering his manners he hurriedly added, "If you don't mind my asking!"
"I'll tell you, but do not tell America. For some reason he would not tell me about it when I asked him last time." He grumbled before continuing. "He said something about a note telling him to be there last night. I want to know more about it." Ivan was busy remembering America's strange reaction to being questioned so he didn't notice Toris's look of shock and worry.
"I will call him right now." Toris all but ran away, leaving Ivan to think in the deathly silence of his home.
...
Something wasn't right, why was he so cold? After stretching and stumbling around to find his glasses Alfred finally remembered where he was. He sighed heavily, all he had wanted to do was come in and save the day…not come to Russia and start a fight. Though he couldn't help but smile thinking of the epic fight they had and how he had kicked that communist ass. Alfred made his way to the bathroom, still in quite a bit of pain. He decided a shower would be best, inspecting his swollen ankle and some smaller shards of glasses that were still stuck in his skin. The injuries were already looking a lot better, being a country was nice sometimes. When he exited the shower and finally bothered to look in the mirror he gaped at his reflection. "What?!" he exclaimed, it wasn't like he didn't love his bright blonde hair or anything, but with the dye gone his cover would be blown. Scrambling to find the box in the garbage he groaned, "TEMPORARY!"
After pacing back and forth for a good ten minutes he decided to sit down and try to think of a great exit plan. That's when he heard his cellphone go off. He looked and saw it was Toris, maybe he could explain what the fuck was supposed to happen last night. Alfred picked up with a little annoyance in his tone, "Hello?"
Toris was put off at first, why did Alfred sound so upset? Would he just make him even more angry by mentioning this? Most likely. The thought was almost enough to make him just hang up. But then he remembered the night America had just had and realized it was natural for the blonde to be so angry. Plus, if he didn't talk with America then Ivan would be mad at him...and that was much much worse.
"Ah hello mister America. I'm sorry if I am interrupting anything. I was just hoping to speak with you." Toris knew Ivan could hear him from here if he really wanted. So he would have to come up with a reason to leave the vicinity if he wanted to truly discuss matters with America.
'Shit.' Alfred thought to himself, he came off a lot meaner than anticipated. Plus Toris is really too kind to have purposely wanted last night to happened like it did. "Not really, what's up dude?" he responded casually.
"Well master Soviet wanted me to talk with you but um..." he needed a reason to leave the area, preferably to do something loud enough to hopefully mask his voice a bit in case Ivan did eavesdrop. "Oh! I just remembered I was in the middle of beating the rugs, do you mind if we continue talking while I finish? They are pretty expensive so I don't want them to be ruined by the snow." Toris hoped he sounded like just the right mix of friendly and worried so as to not tip off Ivan that he was planning something.
"Umm…do what you need to do dude…?" Alfred took a second to think to himself…why would Soviet want him to talk to him? Did he know Toris sent him the note? …he hoped not for Toris's sake.
"Thank you America!" Toris tried to keep the massive amounts of relief from his voice while he walked towards the back of the house, gathering a couple rugs along the way. "Soviet wanted me to talk with you because he wishes to meet with you." Toris began to set up the first rug, he hoped America stayed on the line long enough for him to get a word in.
"...WHAT...? I tried that last night and as you probably figured out it didn't go too well. That communist bastard went at me pipe first?! Luckily being the headstrong hero I am, I was able to stop him and make it out alive!" Alfred puffed his chest out proudly while telling him that.
"..." Toris was quiet for a minute as he got the iron to begin his chore. Once he laid the first strike to the rug he spoke "...America...what exactly did you do last night?"
"..." Alfred paused for a moment. "Stuff happened. It was a lot, I figured Soviet would tell you since you two are close. Also why did you give me the letter anyways?"
Toris sighed, "Soviet may trust me with some information but not much." he wondered if he should tell Alfred why he gave him the note. If he did, would Alfred be open to understanding Ivan? He doubted it. Unfortunately both Alfred and Ivan were exceptionally stubborn, which meant unless they began to understand each other on their own terms then it wouldn't happen. It was best to stay safe and only tell half of the truth. "Well you can't believe I enjoy being under Soviet's rule? Anyone would prefer to be free and in control of their own country. I suppose I was hoping to give you a leg up by being able to listen in on the meeting. I thought you may be a worthwhile ally to have in this situation." Sure he also hoped to get the two of them to find common ground and lessen the tension between them. Maybe even to the point that Ivan would still survive this with a few people in the world who would aid him or at least understand his position even just a little.
Kind of stunned he didn't say much for a second. "Really?" He didn't take Toris as someone to just double cross Soviet, maybe he had more balls than what he gave him credit for. "That's totally what happened! I got some great information, kicked ass, and he went crying with his scarf between his legs! Totally planned out and everything! Haha... So why does he want to meet up?"
Toris ignored Alfred's most likely exaggerated detailing of the incident and was relieved he didn't ask more detailed questions into his reasoning. "Well he wishes to discuss the note you mentioned. Apparently he's really intrigued by it, which I really cannot blame him. He probably thinks there could be a spy somewhere in his government or household. So if you do meet with him please do not mention my giving you the note America. He cannot know I am the one who gave it to you." He wished he was stressing this fact enough. He could only imagine what Ivan might do to him if he thought he was a spy.
"Don't worry I got your back buddy!" He said thinking for sure he wasn't going to mess up again. "So where and when is this play date he wants to have with me?"
Toris let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding, "Thank you America. Well to be honest I don't really-"
"Тoris, how is the phone call?" Toris jumped and dropped the metal tool from his hand in surprise at the deep voice behind him. He turned to find Ivan in the doorway leading into the house, his usual smile in place.
"Аh! M-master Ivan! It's going well! Do you need something?"
"No, I was just curious what was taking so long? Does the stupid American want to meet or not?" If Toris didn't know any better he'd say Ivan had an almost excited look about him at this prospect. But he couldn't comprehend why he would be looking forward to meeting with America that much when he supposedly hated the blonde.
Alfred could recognize that voice anywhere...it was Ivan. Kind of curious to what Toris and Ivan were saying he waited. However his hot headedness got the better of him when he heard stupid and America from over the phone. "Communist bastard! Who does he think he is?! Give that asshole the phone! I want to talk to him! Show him some good ol' home grown American respect!"
Ivan raised an eyebrow and smirked at the obnoxious voice over the phone. He loved how just the sound of his voice could get such a reaction from the blonde. So he wanted to talk directly? Well he was not about to argue. "Give me phone Toris."
"Y-yes sir." Lithuania begrudgingly handed over the phone. He really hoped Alfred didn't give him away.
"Привет America, I hope you are enjoying stay in my country." Ivan knew he hadn't left yet, he's had eyes in all nearby airports since first spotting the American last night. Just in case. He didn't want his prey getting away so easily.
He scoffed. "It's been swell Braginski, swell! How's your forehead doing? Passing out in the bathroom isn't like you." Alfred smirked.
Ivan chuckled darkly, so he wanted to play this game? Fine he'll play. He turned and reentered the house, getting out of Lithuania's ear shot. "Dа comrade you are quite the artist. I had almost forgotten how I need to repay the courtesy of your visit last night. Do not worry, I will not be forgetting again." Ivan entered his study and closed the door. Sitting at his desk he rested his head in his hand, "What do you say America, care to be speaking in person about last night? I hate having delicate conversation over phone. Especially when phone is not mine"
"I don't see how this could get any worse so why not?" His words dripped sarcasm. "Just give me the deats and I'll decide from there?"
He was going to act like a petulant child was he? Ivan didn't like such behavior. Well if America was going to use the tone of an ungrateful child then he would treat him as such. "Very well поросенок be at my house within the hour. And do not keep me waiting, dа?" Ivan pulled the phone away and snapped it shut not caring to hear Americas whining any longer. He supposed he should return this to Toris and inform him of their guest.
"FUCKIN' HELL!" Alfred cursed, stomped his feet as he paced in the room. That bastard had the gall to call him a pig and then hang up on him? Alfred flung himself onto the bed, 'What if I just didn't show? He can't tell me what to do…' he thought to himself while definitely not pouting. Thirty minutes passed of him just twiddling his thumbs and debating whether or not he should go. Sitting up he then realized he had no idea where the heck Ivan even lived. How long does it take to get there even? Picking up his phone he called Toris.
Toris felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He paused in his preparation of dinner to pull out the phone. 'America again? What could he possibly want? Shouldn't he already be on his way?' He flipped open the device, "Hello?"
"Hey dude!...Umm where's Soviet's house? He told me to come but he never told me where it was?"
Toris just stared at the wall for a minute. "Alfred, you could have called sooner. There's no way you're close enough to get here in a half hour..." he had no idea what he was getting himself into. Or maybe he did. He had known Ivan a while so it was possible.
"Well...what's the address, I better get walking?" He laughed to himself thinking good, make that asshole wait.
After telling Alfred the address Toris decided to give him one last bit of advice. "Oh and Alfred, just remember to duck alright?" he hung up before hearing any questions from the blonde. He knew if he gave him too much advice Ivan would know. He always knew when he meddled so he had to be careful and keep an extremely light hand in this situation.
"Duck? What? Is that asshole planning to hit me?" He said before he realized Toris hung up. What was up with people hanging up on him lately, usually he was the one that did that. Strapping on all of his guns and combat knives, and boy did he have a lot of them, Alfred decided he was good to go to that bastard's house. He walked a couple blocks away to a busier street to find a taxi. The driver gave him a funny look when Alfred relayed the address, however being oblivious Alfred didn't notice or didn't care to notice. He didn't really pay attention to the time, heck he didn't even know when Toris had called him to begin with.
...
Ivan looked at his watch, it read ten past 6. He looked out the window at the almost set sun as Toris cleaned up after dinner. "He is late."
"Yes. I think he will end up being very late..." Toris mumbled.
"Is that so..." he had told him not to be late. Well now he could have a bit of fun with him. "Тоris, take the others and go stay at a hotel for the night."
Toris could practically hear the dark joy that was no doubt etched onto the other's face. "Yes, master Ivan."
About thirty minutes later the others left leaving Ivan alone in the giant house. He always forgot how quiet the place was with no one around. After going through the house and turning off all the lights he sat next to the front door, trusty pipe in hand, and waited for his fashionably late guest. He listened to the quiet creaks of the old house and the low whistle of the wind outside. 'Yes' he found himself thinking 'with no one else around this house begins to feel quite cold and lonely.' A sad smile graced his lips as he let out a sigh. How had he found himself in this situation? He doubted he could actually win a fight against America and yet here he sat waiting to try again. He was getting weaker every day, he knew it, his government knew it, even Toris and the others knew it. It was only a matter of time before America and the rest of the world realized this fact and took advantage of the opportunity. Of course maybe death would not be so bad at this point? At least he would finish this eternity having had many people by his side at the end.
Ivan was ripped from his thoughts by the sound of a car door slamming shut. Peering out the window he saw America standing in front of the taxi, once again sporting his characteristic blonde hair. He checked his watch, the little prick was exactly an hour late. Ivan chuckled, he knew just how to push his buttons.
Getting out of the taxi Alfred saw the house. God, Ivan was such a weird old man...his house looked like it came right out of an old horror movie. Chills were sent up his spin. He tried to cover his fear by laughing to himself, muttering a quiet mantra of "There's no ghosts here, there's no ghosts here…" as he walked up to the door.
Just as Ivan was about to get in position he stopped and watched the blonde more closely. He appeared to be talking to himself. If he looked closer it even looked as if the man was shaking. It was then that he remembered the Americans fear of ghosts and was struck with a brilliant idea. He quickly rose from his place by the door and crept to the sitting room adjacent to the entryway. Grabbing the remote he positioned himself next to the bookshelf and waited for the fun to begin.
As Alfred reached the door it creaked open slowly, his mouth hung open on a soundless scream "No, no, no, not ok." He muttered. Where was Toris to greet him? He peaked his head into the house, "Hey Toris...are you in here?," his voice now had a noticeable tremor. "I'm coming in..." There appeared to be no one at home, all he could hear was the loud wind and the creaking of the house. Though being outside in the dark freaked him out way more than the creepy house...with slight tears forming in his eyes he stepped into the entryway.
Ivan had to repress a giggle, this really was too fun to watch. However, it was time to raise the stakes. He shook the shelf to knock some of the books off, causing a rather loud thud. As they fell Ivan crept around the other doorway of the room and waited right outside for Alfred to enter.
Wide eyed out of fear Alfred fell to his butt letting out a small screech of pain...after a couple seconds of catching his breath he called out shakily into the silence, "Hey, Toris are you there? This is the address you told me, right?" After waiting for a response and receiving none he brushed himself off and stood up. Slowly making his way into the room shaking, "Toris, where are you?"
Ivan could barely contain his glee, this was going exactly as planned. Now time for the hard part. Peeking inside the room he saw America was clearly scared, he even had tears in his eyes. That meant he should be too distracted to notice him during his next plan. Once Alfred crept far enough into the room so that Ivan wasn't in his direct line of site he pointed the remote towards the tv. He pushed the button and the tv blinked to life.
Screaming America dove behind the nearest chair. Ivan would be the country to have ghosts in his house, heck he was probably the one that killed them. Whimpering behind the chair he wished the TV would just shut off...without thinking he lifted up the chair, shouting, "I'm sorry ghosts, don't kill me!" and chucked it at the TV running out of the room.
Ivan crept past the doorway as quickly and quietly as he could so as not to be spotted. He then continued down the hall and around the corner until he reached the front door. It was at this point that he heard America screaming at the ghosts and an ungodly crash. Somehow he had a feeling the man had managed to utterly destroy his sitting room. He then shut and bolted the door, sprinting into the kitchen soon after. Ivan took a minute to catch his breath, that was too close.
He heard the other sprint into the adjacent dining room. It was time to end this whole charade before any more of his things became broken beyond repair. He crept up to the swinging door, close enough to stay hidden but far enough to not be hit by the arc. Pulling out his pipe he just had to think of a way to get him in here. Well he had been calling for Toris an awful lot. With his current state he could probably fool him with even a mediocre impersonation. Ivan tried to imagine Toris's voice in his head as he almost yelled. "Alfred?! Help is that you?!" he held his pipe at the ready.
"Toris, what's wrong?!" He called out, arming himself with his trusty handgun and running towards the door. His eyes darted every which way as he pushed open the swinging door.
The second Ivan saw the door move he swung catching the american right upside the head. However, the crack he expected to hear was drowned out by a gunshot. A second later pain erupted to life in his chest causing him to stumble back and drop his pipe. He leaned against the table trying to catch his breath. He quickly realized he had been shot and would probably pass out soon. Still having enough sense about him he pulled out his phone and called Lithuania.
Toris was awoken by a dull buzz and soft ringtone in his ear. He reached for the phone in his half awake state and looked to see it was Ivan. He decided it was most likely in his best interests to answer. "Hello?"
"I've been shot." Ivan hissed through the pain.
"Wait...what?!" Toris bolted upright in the hotel bed he was sharing with Estonia and Latvia. He was very much awake now.
"Come here now." he ground out.
Lithuania got out of bed as quickly and quietly as possible. Now that he was awake he could hear some muffled movements from the other end of the phone as well as very labored breathing. "I am! But where were you shot? Do you need medical attention?" he waited for a reply but was instead met with a clatter, thump, and nothing but quiet labored breathing. 'Oh no he's already passed out.'
Toris was assuming he must have been shot in a vital area to have called him and from the sounds of it he would most likely be dead upon his arrival. He quickly dressed and left the others a note stating he had to leave on business from Soviet but to enjoy a day off tomorrow. That should keep them away from the house long enough for him to deal with the mess. Plus he knew no one else would be of help in this situation. On the short drive back to the house Lithuania called an underground doctor they've relied upon in the past. He didn't want to get Russia's government involved so this was the only way.
He arrived at the house a short time later finding the front door locked. Once he managed to get inside he wondered if anyone was really home. He flicked on a light when something to his right caught his eye. Peering into the sitting room he found what he could only describe as a war zone where the tv had most definitely lost. It seemed Ivan would be wanting him to take some furniture from another room in the house to replace the heap of firewood that was once a priceless arm chair.
He followed the destruction to the other door way where it looked like someone had gripped the frame. Rather rightly from the imprint that was left in the wood. America had most definitely been here. He assumed that's who had shot Ivan but if that was the case then what happened to America? And why did he try to attack him with a chair? He followed the hallway and pushed open the dining room door, best to be thorough.
Flicking on the light he saw that the swinging door was jammed open. He rounded the grand table to find a bloody blonde head poking through the doorway, the old wood slick with a puddle of his blood beneath him. Toris was a bit shocked at first, so they had managed to kill each other? He let out a sigh, a small bubble of awkward laughter coming out with it, "Then again, what else would I expect from you two? Why can't you two talk with something other than weapons?"
He knelt down just to check that America was definitely dead. With the condition of his cracked skull he'd say yes. "I told you to duck my friend." Getting up he made his way around the body to find Ivan close by slumped against the kitchen table also sitting in a pool of blood. 'I don't think they understand how hard it is to scrub blood out of wood and tile.' Toris thought bitterly.
But he did feel a bit saddened by the scene. He wished the two of them could stop fighting. He didn't know America all that well but he'd always been nice. Ivan he knew better than most, maybe even better than anyone. He knew that if he could just get these two to talk, really talk and listen to each other, then they could find a way to make a sort of peace with each other. He didn't exactly know what that would be, but anything would be better than this.
During his thoughts he checked to make sure Ivan was dead. He had been shot in the chest, not his heart but potentially a lung. He noticed he didn't have his scarf on and realized it was sitting in a heap on top of the table. So he had enough sense about him to take off his scarf? The attachment he had to that thing was impressive.
Lithuania heard a knock at the door and realized it was most likely the doctor. He let him inside and they got to work hauling the two of them, one at a time seeing as how they were both exceptionally heavy, up the stairs to a couple bedrooms in Soviet's private wing. Once there he watched as the doctor fix up first Alfred and then Ivan. Apparently Ivan had gotten lucky and his lung was just grazed. So enough to die of shock and blood loss but not too difficult to treat.
Once the doctor was paid and left Toris began the task of cleaning up the two simpletons handy work. Scrubbing the blood off the floor took the longest. The kitchen and dining rooms will probably smell like bleach for a while. He was just bringing down a second armchair from an unused room upstairs when the others came back. Setting down the chair he greeted them "Hello everyone! How was your day?"
Ukraine answered first, "It was nice and very relaxing!"
"If by relaxing you mean boring then yes, I agree." Poland flippantly chimed in, walking away to his room. Many of the others soon followed except for Estonia and Latvia who came over to him.
"What did Soviet need so badly?" Estonia asked.
"He probably just wanted someone to be his bitch-." Latvia interjected.
"Raivus please." Toris admonished, "He just needed me to pick up a few things for him." He hoped he sounded convincing.
"At night?" Estonia raised an eyebrow.
"Yes well, you know Ivan." Lithuania shrugged. "Excuse me but I have more work to finish, I will talk to you later." He began to walk up the stairs towards Soviet's wing. He didn't know how long it would be before Ivan awoke but he imagined he would like his blood stained clothes taken care of.
…
Translations:
Привет: Hi (informal)
Поросенок: Pig
