***Disclaimer*** I do not own any of the characters of Rizzoli & Isles
Lunch had gone as planned according to Jane. She managed to eat her fill without feeling sick and even joked around with her family for a few hours. The brunette had to admit to herself that she felt better having confided in her partner. She didn't feel so alone with her feelings and it was good to know that Barry was there as a shoulder to cry on. She was looking forward to talking with him later on in the day, to finally have everything out in the open.
Jane was finished with the dishes when Angela came in from watching Frankie shoot baskets with Frost. "Hey Janie, you back at work tomorrow?" Angela quizzed.
"Yeah Ma, all back to normal."
"Well not quite, Maura's not here." Angela mentioned with a little pout.
Jane continued to wipe down the benches without looking at her mother. "You miss her Ma?" Jane said followed by a heavy sigh "so do I." The bench had never looked so clean, as Jane continued to scrub the same spot.
"Take it easy honey, you'll ruin the bench."
"Sorry Ma, seemed to get carried away." She finished putting the cleanser and cleaning cloths away under the sink before going to her mother to give her a kiss goodbye. "Thanks for lunch Ma it was, as always, delicious."
"Thanks baby." Angela gave her daughter another bear hug. "Jane, it'll all be back to normal soon, you'll see, I do seem to remember Maura said she'd be back on Wednesday, so you two can catch up then." She said to Jane as she gave her a pat on the arm.
"Wednesday, oh thanks Ma, yeah I'll see her then." Jane hesitated, then she reached into her bag for keys to Maura's house. "Um… I'm just going into Maur's house, I have a little something I found and want to leave it for her." She gave her mum another kiss. "I'll see you at the café tomorrow Ma." and she left.
Frost was standing near the doorway just out of sight, not intentionally, however listening to the exchange between the two women. Time to go as well. He thanked Angela and said his goodbye's to the rest of the family.
As he headed towards his car, he sighted Jane coming out from the main house. She was as white as a ghost. Something was very wrong. Barry jogged over to her "Jane, you alright, you don't look so hot?"
"Gotta go, gotta go now, gotta go home." Jane's voice was shaky and threatening to crack again, her eyes were welling up with tears. She looked at Frost as he approached. He took one look at her face which said it all. "Shit." Is all he could say at first. "Jane go, I'll follow you home."
She headed towards her car while shaking her head with tears streaming down her face. Jane stumbled a little as she reached for the door handle. Once she managed to open the door, she threw her bag across the passenger's seat as she climbed in. While fumbling with the keys she slammed the door shut. The ignition was turned on. "Fuck!." She yelled out before putting the car in drive and she was off.
As she was driving she was trying to calm herself down, she was furious, although she knew she had no right to be. Was she mad at Maura or herself, or the situation she found herself in? In love with her best friend.
The week's break really did nothing for Jane emotionally, it just gave her more time to think of the woman she loves so much. Her mind reflected back to the week just gone, of some of the events that took place. Some nights she would sit in the dark having a quiet drink or two trying to figure out what she was going to do before crying herself to sleep.
On the other nights she remembers all too clearly, as a slight blush coloured her cheeks, making her feel a little embarrassed. Jane would lay on the bed her mind totally engrossed with thoughts of the honey blonde causing her to become sexually aroused. Her hand would slip under the elastic of her underwear as she began to masturbate while thinking of her beautiful friend. She was missing her terribly, she needed to see her, wanted to talk to her, wanted to hold her, wanted to touch her.
Jane would lay there thinking of what it would be like to make love to Maura causing her arousal to grow, crying out her name as she tried to give herself a small release. However that release never came as she knew it was never meant to be, Maura would never be hers.
Honking of horns startled Jane back to the here and now. "Shit, I am totally fucked in the head!" she growled as she almost caused an accident. Just a few more blocks and she'd be home. Frost was still behind her. He's such a good guy Jane thought, he's like family, hopefully I won't ruin the friendship we have by my stupidity.
Jane pulled into the curb, grabbed her bag and a few other items she picked up on her way home.
Frost was now out of his car following Jane up the stairs. He just eyed her and the package she was carrying as the door was unlocked. They crossed the threshold before Frost had his hand out. "Give it here."
"What" Jane's eyebrows knitted together trying to look confused. She knew what he was after, her jaw started clenching. "No, it's mine. Look I didn't have a drink at lunch and I want one now."
Fair enough Frost thought. He shook his head. "Okay, sure why not, you probably need one." He took the brown paper bag from her peering inside, then pulled the bottle of red out. "Red wine….. Jane since when did you started drinking red wine?"
"Since now, Maura likes it, thought I give it a try." She grabbed two glasses and started to pour. Frost put his hand over one. "I'll have coffee." He proceeded to make the coffee himself as Jane had a huge gulp of wine. "Hey ease up Jane, wine is for sipping, it's to be appreciated, look at the depth of colour and smell the aroma. It would give your taste buds a thrill if consumed properly." He said while smiling.
"Who are you Frost, Maura?" She said with her eyebrow raised. Then it hit her, as she realized what she just said and the water works started again.
"Ah shit Jane". He pulled her in for a hug again and sat her down on the couch. "Right talk to me, we have all night with no interruptions."
As if right on cue, the phone rang. Jane wiped her face and froze for a moment when she heard the ring tone and knew it was Maura calling. "Jesus what am I going to do, it's Maura."
"You're going to answer it that's what." Barry said with a stern look on his face.
"Yeah of course." Jane answered the call. "Hey" is all she could say as silent tears ran down her face.
"Hey Jane, how are you sweetie, you said not to call while you were away, so I didn't, however you're back now and well, I just called to say hi."
"Well I could say the same about you! Ma said I couldn't call you." Calm down, breath, don't be a bitch to her, don't panic…
Jane was sitting on the couch staring at her feet as she spoke. "Sorry Maur, didn't mean to snap at you" she sighed heavily, "I got home and you were gone. Everything okay?"
"Yes Jane everything is just perfect." The tone in Maura's voice was an indication she was smiling. Jane's mind pictured the beautiful blonde and a smile came to her face as well.
"Where are you?" She said looking at Barry now with a sad look on her face.
"Look Jane, I'll be home on Wednesday, I have to go now, okay?"
"but Maur…" Jane said holding her breath, hoping Maura would tell her what's going on.
Maura's voice now took on a serious tone. "When I get home, I need to talk to you Jane." Maura was almost stuttering. "Look I have to go. I miss you Jane."
"I miss you too."
Just as Maura was about to end the call Jane heard a familiar voice in the background, "Maura what would you like for breakfast?" Jane's face suddenly went pale. She closed her eyes trying to concentrate on hearing all the background noises. Seagulls squawking, surf, other voices, the clatter of plates.
"I'll see you Wednesday, bye." Jane surmised Maura was at a beachside café about to order breakfast with none other than Ian Faulkner.
The tall brunette now had tears streaming down her face as she sat staring at the phone in her hand. She looked up at Barry and said in a very quiet, steady voice "she's in fucking Australia, with Ian fucking Faulkner".
"Right" Jane said as she stood up and started pacing the room. "Where were we before the interruption. That's right, I was about to pour my heart out to you and tell you that I'm head-over-heels in love with my best friend. Have been for years really, only I just realized it a few months ago." Jane was pacing like a caged lion and either waving her hands in the air or running her fingers thru her hair. She was starting to laugh now while ranting. "Doesn't matter though does it? Maura's with Ian, besides that she's not interested in me, never has been…. not in that way, know what I mean Frost?" Jane had stopped pacing and was now starring wide eyed at him.
"Yeah, I know Jane, Maura's not a lesbian and you are." Barry said quite innocently.
"I am not!. God Frost, I have never ever been interested in women." Jane started to scrunch her face up. "The thought of… of… you know, not me, noooooo way, couldn't do it."
Frost was laughing now. "Just listen to yourself Jane, God you are so confusing. You said you were in love with Maura. What, tell me, if you two were in a relationship together, what are you going to do, just walk around holding hands. I hate to tell you this Jane, but Maura's a hot blooded woman, and there is no way she won't want sex from you."
"Hey, of course I'd make love to her and yes that means "you know" Jane says blushing a little while pointing towards her pelvic region. "She's different." The brunette sat down again next to Barry with a huge grin on her face. She turned towards him and continued "She's all I can think about, she's always on my mind. Oh God, Frost what she does to me when I see her. Yes, I want to make love to her, I want to spend hours exploring every inch of her gorgeous body, I want to taste her, I want to give her pleasure. I want…."
"Enough, too much information Jane." Frost says covering his ears and laughing. He quickly sobers and takes both Jane's hands. "Tell her."
"What!, no I can't, she'd run a mile and our friendship would be over." Jane takes her hands back. "Anyway, it's probably going to be over anyhow."
"What do you mean?"
Jane just shrugs. "When I was in Maura's house before we left ma's I found all these brochures on Australia plus property listings. I think she's moving to Australia. I mean why wouldn't she. The man she loves lives there now. The evidence all points to that conclusion." She looks at Barry with tears in her eyes. "Property listings Frost, she's going to buy a house there!"
"You don't know that, it could just be a holiday home." Barry started to gently rub her back, trying to give comfort.
Jane sat there shaking her head "No, you didn't hear her voice." She sighs and stands again beginning to pace back and forth. "She also said before she hung up that she has to talk to me when she gets home. It sounds serious with Ian. I think she's going to tell me she's getting married and moving to Australia."
"Jane you don't know that." He rolls his eye's.
Jane ignores him and keeps talking. "She was so happy on the phone, no she's there with Ian looking at property and having a lovely holiday in a beautiful country, sitting in a café at the beach having breakfast with Ian fucking Faulkner. She's probably sitting there wearing hardly any clothing just maybe her swimmers looking absolutely gorgeous, while Ian fucking Faulkner's eyes are bugging out of his head staring at her beautiful, firm, rounded breasts!"
"Jane, tell her how you feel" Barry said interrupting her ranting.
"No!"
"Fine – then what do you expect from Maura." Barry now walked over to Jane and put his hands on her shoulders. "You just want her to be your friend, however she's never allowed to meet someone and fall in love, maybe even marry, have kids, like a lot of people do. No you want her all to yourself, no one is allowed to ever touch her again because you don't want them to. What are you going to do Jane? Lock Maura inside her house and throw away the key?"
Barry was on a roll, he was trying so hard to have her understand. "You are so selfish Jane, wake up to yourself. If you love her you should want her to be happy. If she's in love with Ian then you should be happy for her. Don't you get it! Barry was now extremely frustrated with his partner. "If you don't have the guts to tell her how you feel, then at least have the guts to be there for her as a friend and allow her to find love with somebody else."
"If you don't wake up to the fact that Maura deserves to find love, then you are going to lose her for good."
"I'm going to lose her anyway if she lives in Australia." Jane says as she quietly cries again.
"Well what's the problem with telling her? May as well – you seem to have it all figured out that she'll soon be out of your life, halfway around the world! Go on tell her, it'll make you feel better, get it off your chest." Frost's shoulders slump, he's disappointed in Jane. "Jane look at me." Jane's watery eyes make contact with the intense stare of Barry's. "Do you honestly think Maura would turn her back on you because you fell in love with her?"
Jane looks down hiding her shame and says quietly "No."
"No is right. Give her some credit Jane, come on this is Maura we're talking about." Barry now goes to grab his jacket before going out into the freezing cold.
"I'm being a right bitch at the moment aren't I Frost?" She looks at him searching his eyes for an answer?
"Yeah, a jealous one at that." He finishes putting his coat on and goes over to Jane. He leans over and whispers in her ear. "If you keep acting like an ass, you will push her away. So stop it." He then kisses her on the cheek and gives her a hug. "Give it time Jane, it won't hurt as much. I'm here if you need me."
"Thanks Frost, thanks for everything." Jane stands there biting her lip and looking a little coy. "My… my um, my birthday is on Tuesday, Maur won't be home till Wednesday. She's never missed my birthday, I think she's forgotten" she says looking at her partner with sorrowful eyes.
"Jane"
"Yeah"
Frost pokes Jane's nose with his index finger "Stop it" Then he pokes her in the chest. "Stop being so selfish, remember she doesn't belong to you."
"I know, but she should. She has no idea what she's missing out on" she wiggles her eyebrows and tries to smile while opening the door. "Thanks again, I'll see you tomorrow."
Frost heads down the stairs "shit" he mutters to himself "her birthday's Tuesday, she's going to be unbearable. Shit!"
A/N That's it for now, another chapter soon. Hope you enjoyed. Would love some feedback good or bad.
