Author's Note: Thanks once again to those who commented. I really wanted to get a chapter out before the year ended and leave it slightly on a good note for the story. Although, humor will be a given for next chapter because a big talk will be happening between Ichigo and someone else. Then, we can finally get to more happier times! I would also like to give nypsy a shout-out for the suggestion she gave a while back. It was a good idea and I believe it fits perfectly with the chapter. As always, please read, review - and most importantly - enjoy!

Disclaimer: All characters belong respectively to Tite Kubo, the creator of Bleach.


Chapter 4 - Brace for Impact

The air was crisp and nighttime had long since fallen as Orihime darted out of the restaurant in a clumsy manner. Her face felt hot even against the cold temperature, having embarrassed not only herself, but also her husband. Did the Kurosaki's think she was crazy? They had every right to believe in that theory if they wanted. She had practically lost all sense of calm in which she so carefully practiced before she had left the house.

"What should I do? Ichigo has the keys and I really shouldn't walk home at night," she contemplated her options silently. She approached their car in its spot and leaned against the door. The healer lifted her head to the sky, observing the white half-crescent moon shining below at her. All the stars were in their full glory and Orihime wondered if one day she would ever be able to touch those magnificent orbs in space.

She would have shared all her crazy stories with her child, probably staying up into the late hours of the night because of how enthusiastic mother and offspring had become. Ichigo would have poked his head inside and tell the excited pair it was time for bed and the two of them would pout until the man gave in. He would shout a warning and continue about his way.

"Those would have been one of the many memories I would have created with you, Ichi...," she sadly thought to herself.

"Orihime!" a voice shouted to her from the front of the restaurant. The woman immediately recognized the voice. There wasn't any second-guessing who owned it. She refused to look his way as she heard the approaching footsteps that were filled with heated anger.

His hand grabbed her by the wrist with a force she wasn't quite comfortable with, "Dammit, Hime! Why didn't you answer me?"

Ichigo's wife avoided eye contact. Her emotions still were running wild and she was finding it difficult to keep a lid on them.

"Please, let go of me," she merely whispered.

The man's hand fell back at his side at hearing her soft tone. He had heard it so many times before in the past few months, and after every time, he always felt like she would break into pieces. Clearly, tonight was proof of the pent-up frustrations she had been concealing within herself. She hadn't shared any of her concerns with him until the dinner - which resulted in utter disaster. Admittedly, half of the fight had stemmed from his inability to communicate openly with his wife. Work was hectic lately and he hadn't been spending enough time with her, not as much as he would have preferred. Nevertheless, some how and some way, he still loved her as much as the day he married her.

"About back there," Ichigo started hesitantly, "Did you really mean that?"

Orihime puffed out her chest, "Of course! I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it."

Her husband should have known better than to ask such a question from her. Inside, she expressed her true feelings; it wasn't as if she had made it up just to put on a show for his entire family. At most, he likely thought she was having a nervous breakdown. She supposed it would seem rather appropriate for him to assume that of her. However, Orihime had never felt so alone in her marriage. Ichigo was supposed to stick by her side through thick and thin, and while he had been doing that for the past few months of her recovery, he was more distant than he had ever been to her. Sometimes, Orihime had even put into her mind that maybe he had a girlfriend on the side because he certainly refused to touch her behind closed doors. She shortly realized after she was only being paranoid.

"Look," Ichigo sighed irritated, "I'm not sure what to do anymore. I always try my best for you because it means a lot to me to know that you depend on me as your husband. I'm at my wits end here."

The healer sensed how frustrated he had become and even still, she could hear subliminally the message he was trying to convey to her.

He wasn't prepared to experience another pregnancy again, especially after one that ended so tragically.

"Ichigo, I'm only asking that you think about it. I don't want to pressure you into anything you're not ready for, but it would really make me feel better to know that you'll at least give it some consideration," Orihime asserted to him sternly.

He could see the hurt clearly visible in her eyes and it pained him because he was the source of all her troubles.

"Hime," he groaned, "I...just want to leave this all behind us."

Suddenly, Orihime felt the tears start to roll down. She was also on the verge of giving up on the situation. It had grown so hopeless. They were repeatedly taking jabs out on each other. When they had first started dating, Orihime could vaguely remember how all their friends had said that there wasn't any need for them to even date. The love they had established for the other partner was far stronger than that for casual dating. It was more intense and in the footsteps towards marriage. One day, after going out with Ichigo for several months, Orihime questioned her boyfriend how he felt about getting married to her. First, he became embarrassed that she had asked such a question. In the process, his face had gone red. However, it didn't take much time for him to contemplate his answer.

"I'd marry you right now if I could."

She desperately wanted to go back to that moment in time when everything had seemed peaceful and the worst of their worries were the upcoming exams. Over the past year and half, their lives had been turned upside down before they could even catch their breath. When the unplanned pregnancy had snuck up on them, they were admittedly a little numb. Despite not wanting to start a family until the two were a little more financially stable, the couple soon came to love the idea that they were going to be parents. Those dreams were crushed when the miscarriage happened.

Ichigo quietly watched as Orihime's tears began to fall from her face and onto the black pavement. He was self-aware he was being an asshole. He didn't want to make her cry. It was never the intention and he always became weak when the water-works started from her. His father couldn't have been more accurate about him. He was an idiot.

However, he wasn't just anyone's idiot.

He belonged to Orihime Kurosaki, and therefore, she only had the right to call him one.

The Substitute Soul Reaper stepped forward and closed the gap between his wife and him. As she softly cried within her hands, Ichigo gradually took her by the shoulders and pulled her into a tight embrace. Orihime gasped underneath him from the abrupt interaction between the heated individuals. She hadn't been hugged by him in a very long time, most likely since the hospital visit where he told her the passing of their child.

"Orihime," Ichigo emitted, "You have every right to be upset with me. If it makes you feel any better, call me the worst name you can possibly think of for me."

The teacher sniffled as she nestled herself deeper into her husband's protective arms. She didn't want to talk. Being comforted by him in such a way after such a long time only made her want to enjoy it for the moment. She wasn't sure when he'd hug her again. It warmed her to know that he was trying his best for her.

"You're...," she started quietly.

Ichigo blinked, "I'm...?"

"You're a big dufus!" she blurted.

Ichigo smiled under the pale moonlight at hearing his wife's words. He figured it would be something child-rated. Even if she wanted to call him a more degrading name, Orihime would have kept it to her self. She was too kind to completely confess what she probably wanted.

"Ichi-kun," Orihime murmured, "Can we go someplace?"

The orange-haired man gently pulled back from his huddled wife, "What do you have in mind?"

Mrs. Kurosaki wiped her remaining tears away with the back of her hand as she reflected in her mind the place she wanted to visit with Ichigo. They hadn't been to the area in a while and for some strange reason, she suddenly felt the need to go and see the gravestone. She couldn't explain it. The urge had flooded her heart and she didn't want to ignore it.

Orihime lifted her head and searched Ichigo's face. He seemed very confused by her request.

"I want to go and see Makoto."

Ichigo's heart dropped at the mention of their deceased son's name, "Right now? Just...all of a sudden?"

His wife nodded her head with reassurance, "I want to talk with him for a little bit. It'll only take a few minutes. Please?"

Honestly, Ichigo wasn't keen on the idea. His wife had cried enough during the night. If she went back to the graveyard and saw the stone, he was positive she'd start to cry all over again after having just contained herself. Ichigo had only visited the place twice since burying Makoto. The wound was still fresh and the image of Orihime and he picking out a casket for the miscarried child would always be permanently engraved in his mind forever. No parent should ever have to bury his or her own offspring. It was an experience that he never wanted to relive.

"Then, I'll go tell Dad that we're going to head on out of here. Here's the keys, get inside and get warmed up," Ichigo bellowed as he handed Orihime the car keys.

As he headed back inside the restaurant, Orihime unlocked the doors. She stepped inside their small vehicle and turned on the ignition. While she waited for Ichigo, she slumped into the car seat. In a little while, they would be at the graveyard. For now, she was going to rest her eyes.

Before they officially traveled to the site, the couple stopped at a convenience store to pick up a few items. Ichigo paid for a bouquet of flowers, candles, and a box of matches for their visit. Orihime had fallen asleep in the car and he didn't want to wake her. He figured it was best to let her catch up on her sleep while she still could. Besides, two people didn't need to go inside.

After everything was paid for and Ichigo had gotten back into the car, the trip to the graveyard was finally in motion. From the little store, it would only take a matter of ten minutes. However, since their move into the big city, it had become harder to find time to visit their child. At most, it takes the married duo forty-five minutes to get to the small valley - and that's without including the traffic they could potentially run into along the way.

However, Ichigo knew he had no legitimate excuse for not visiting. Even if they lived farther away than before, he should have gone with Orihime when she had set aside the time to visit Makoto. Despite having casts on and still being relatively weak, Orihime prevailed through her struggles and saw their son at least six times during each month. What did he have to show for it? Only two visits and the constant thought of Makoto was all he had given to his son that never had a chance in the world.

If Orihime wanted to have a child with him, he needed to change his own self. He thought he'd be prepared when the baby arrived, yet secretly he was terrified at the mere notion that he was responsible for a human being that he helped create for the next eighteen years. He often wondered if his wife ever thought the same as him. She had always put on a happy face whenever baby talk was brought up and she never showed any signs of nervousness regarding how her life would be changed forever once their son arrived. Ichigo didn't desire to have such ideas in his head. He wanted to have a clear mind and a clean slate before he even considered babies.

Within in no time, Ichigo and Orihime pulled up to the parking lot that was situated on the outskirts of the cemetery. The stairway leading up to the family plots had been dimly lit by light posts that outlined the path. Unlocking his seatbelt, Ichigo pulled the keys out from the ignition and the car shut off. His wife was still fast asleep in the passenger seat and Ichigo contemplated if he should wake her up. If he didn't and he went and saw the grave by himself, she'd be upset with him for not saying anything. After all, she was the one was suggested the idea. It was only right she'd follow through with it.

He leaned forward and gave a small peck on Orihime's cheek.

"Hime~," Ichigo cooed, "We're here sleepyhead."

It appeared that his unnoticeable gesture had stirred her from her slumber as she stretched her arms out above her head. Her eyes widened at the realization of the place she had woke up in. Ichigo gave her a reassuring smile and then stepped out of the car. His wife followed in pursuit with the items he had bought and walked over to his side.

The Substitute Soul Reaper sighed out from his nose, "Are you ready to go?"

Orihime nodded her head enthusiastically and abruptly grabbed Ichigo's hand, clasping her fingers tightly around it. She wanted him to feel comfortable. He seemed evidently tense and the purpose for coming to the gravesite was not only to see Makoto, but also to influence his decision about having a child again.

The couple moved towards the staircase and began to make their way up the plot of where their son was laid to rest. As they walked up the stairs, no words were exchanged between the duo. However, the silence that they were swaddled in wasn't one full of awkwardness. Instead, remorse and sympathy encompassed them as they got nearer and nearer to the top.

When they reached their destination at the end of the staircase, Orihime and Ichigo stood at the foot of the pathway where gravesites surrounded them through three miles of land. The night was quiet and the eerie silence made Ichigo's hairs stand on the back of his neck. They were the only people. No one else could be seen from where they resting as they caught their breath. Makoto's grave was towards the very edge of the cemetery. They had to walk a little further a distance before they reached the gravestone.

The limestone the couple had purchased for their son was still relatively new in appearance if you compared it other's who had been in the cemetery for a few decades. Some of the writing of the deceased's had disappeared with age and were illegible. In addition, a few other gravestones had unfortunately been spray-painted on. If Ichigo ever caught one of the delinquents in the act, he would probably not only turn them into the police but also do a little threatening of his own.

After they approached Makoto's grave, Orihime took out the items from the bag and set them on the ground. She took the candles Ichigo had bought and placed them below the plate with their name's name engraved on it. Meanwhile, Ichigo lit a match for his wife and handed it to her when she had settled the candles in the spot she wanted. Once the wick had been burned, Orihime grabbed the lovely flowers and put them into the thin, glass vase set aside for the Kurosaki family. She could tell Isshin had been by a few times as cigarette buds were on the ground by her feet.

"Shall we kneel and say a few things?" Mrs. Kurosaki glanced over her shoulder at Ichigo.

He silently nodded and assumed Orihime's role as she knelt before their child's stone. Orihime tightly shut her eyes, clasped her hands together, and quietly sent out a few words to her son. Once she finished, she peaked open one eye to see if Ichigo had been doing the same as her. Thankfully, he too had shut the outside world out and it eased Orihime's worries some. Shortly after, her husband concluded his unspoken prayer and turned his head to the side of her.

"Before we go," Ichigo started, "I want to tell Makoto something."

Orihime questionably blinked her beautiful orbs innocently, "Is it bad?"

Ichigo lifted a finger to his lips and winked, "Just listen."

The duo looked back to the gravestone as Ichigo prepared what he wanted to say not only to Makoto, but also most importantly to his wife of five years.

"Hey, buddy. Daddy here. I hope you heard your mother and my message to you. However, to be honest with you, we haven't been on the best of terms since your passing. Mommy's been really sad lately. I feel guilty for letting her feel that way and I deserve to be called a big jerk. I want to improve things between us but I think it's going to take a while before we can even consider having a baby again. I love her very much and she's going to be the best mom. Moreover, don't think, just because if we do decide to give you a brother or sister, that we'll forget you. It will never happen, Makoto."

Within seconds, Orihime jumped up from her knelt position, which surprised Ichigo. He couldn't tell if she was full of annoyance or passion when it followed after his speech.

"Are you saying what I believe you're saying?" she asked.

"What do you think it is I'm trying to say?"

"If we work on our relationship first, you'll give me a baby?"

Ichigo dusted off his pants and rose onto his feet. He watched as the candle's fire flickered with the casual passing wind. However, the fact that it hadn't gone out completely was a good sign. It meant Makoto was watching them from above in heaven. Ichigo hoped his son was smiling at his efforts to make good with his mother instead of trying to run away from the pain that had been brought upon the small family.

"We need to sort out our own traumas before we bring a child into this world. I don't want our kid to be constantly surrounded by turmoil. Our relationship never was that to begin with. Out of all our friends, weren't we the most normal?" Ichigo stated tenderly.

Orihime giggled with affection, "Everyone was jealous of us!"

Ichigo grinned and his amber eyes turned softer, "Exactly. So what do you say? Can you wait just a little longer?"

The healer stepped up to her husband and gave him a light kiss on the lips, "I will because that's what Makoto would want."


Happy New Year!