Okay, I think I've finished off with the 'other people stuff' for a while, and we're back to me. Woke up Monday morning, the first official day of spring break, as opposed to the weekend before spring break. Pretty much laughed out loud when I remembered what had happened the night before and who I'd kissed. Went through the usual stuff... showered, shaved, dressed, made small talk conversation with my mom over the breakfast table... (she cooked french toast, so I got some of the fancy breakfast stuff that I'd been wanting yesterday morn,) and finally settled down to the big question.
What on earth could I do for my first real date with Liz?
A movie was nearly right out the window, because of the embarassment of watching 'Against the rules' together saturday night. Fancy dinner? Not sure about that... for one thing, it would absolutely wipe out my savings even if I could afford it, and I'd have to let Liz know that she couldn't order the stuff on the pricier half of the menu. (If the menus at those romantic french places even have prices... I've heard stories about places that don't list dollar values.) Also, well... Liz has talked to me about a few fancy dinner dates that she's been on, one of them the blind date with Doug Shellow, and one time that Max took her to a ritzy romantic Italian place in Santa Fe, not long after they hooked up last fall... well, basically, she doesn't think it's really that good a venue for a 'getting to know you' type date. Maybe worth some of the money later on, once the two people are comfortable being a couple, but I'm almost certain that we're not there yet.
I agonized about the choices, not really finding any of them suitable, for around an hour and a half, and finally decided that I had to get out of the house. Grabbed my car keys and was nearly all the way downtown before I realized that I wasn't quite sure where I was going. Part of me wanted to go and say good morning to Liz, but then another part of me didn't want to see her until I'd got some sort of a plan for tonight. Also, she'd probably be in or around the Crashdown - at least that was the only place I knew to look for her, and I wasn't sure who else would be hanging around there, or if I'd be ready for what awaited me.
So I ended up parking a few blocks away, and just kind of wandering around downtown Roswell, not heading anywhere in particular. About a block east of the UFO center, I saw Tess walking south down Virginia avenue. She noticed me and waved, which actually surprised me a little bit, and I crossed the street, wondering if she'd stay and wait for me or continue on. She hung around.
"Umm... er, hey, happy Spring Break," I said, since I couldn't really think of another opening. "What's up?"
"Not much, just taking a walk to clear my head," Tess admitted. "Everybody seems to be talking about you, though, Alex Whitman."
"Everybody?" That came out a lot louder than I'd have liked.
"Erm. Well, everyone in our little circle at least." Oooh... that was exactly what I'd been afraid of.
"So, uhh, what's your take on it anyway, Tess?" I asked her, doing my best to smile in a carefree manner. It crossed my mind that Tess might be supportive for entirely selfish reasons, just as I'd felt something of the same sort in reverse before, yesterday. With me taking Liz off the market, (at least, I hoped that was what I was doing,) Tess might have more of a chance to make a real impression on Max, like she'd wanted to for ages.
But something about Tess' reaction took me off guard. She got a very abstracted, musing look on her face for a long moment and made a little nod. "I... I think it was a very inspiring example you set, Alex," she said in a whisper. "To confess your feelings for someone who had no idea that you liked her, someone who you weren't sure would like you back... laying everything on the line."
"Umm, well, thanks," I muttered, kind of uncomfortable with her words. One thing that I had decided, though... I wanted to go to the Crashdown, to face the music if there was really any to be faced there, and to see Liz and say good morning to her. "I'm, uhh, I'm gonna head off," I mentioned, pointing west. Tess nodded, and continued on her own way. I crossed the street again.
I looked around from the front door of the cafe dining room, and my resolve almost broke. Isabel was sitting at one of the far booths, and Max, Michael, and Maria were all gathered around a square table and chatting and eating brunch. Maria had her waitress' uniform on, but somehow I doubted that she had actually checked on a customer in nearly three quarters of an hour or more. And all four of them started to stare at me, one by one. (I wondered where Kyle was, for a single slightly strange instant.)
And then Maria waved to me, and called out, not too loud but clearly enough. "Hey, Bass-man. How was your weekend?" Michael snickered slightly, then after a moment tried to straighten his face and keep it straight.
"Umm... more than a little weird," I mumbled, stepping closer. "But not at all bad. Have you got room for one more?" I kicked slightly at the fourth chair, the only unoccupied one at the table, and looked up at Max meaningfully. It was completely obvious, I hoped, that I wasn't talking about physical room, which there was obviously enough of, but emotional space. Max might not want to be around me, and I wasn't at all sure if I wanted to spend much time with him. But I kind of did want to spend a little time with Maria and Michael, since they apparently knew the score and were being fairly cool about it.
Michael turned to look at Max too, while Maria kept looking up at me for a second, and then her eyes flicked over to Michael and then nowhere in particular. "Umm, yeah, looks like it I guess," Max mumbled, his voice sounding a little uncertain but still friendly. "Sit down, have some toast or something." As I say, he passed over a little plate with what looked like three half-slices of cinnamon toast, cut along the diagonal line. Out of habit, I looked for a bottle of tabasco, and there it was, near the corner of the table between Max and Michael. I took a slice of the toast, and poured a little honey on it because I felt like something sticky and sweet.
"Mmmm." The toast was tasty, but it made my mouth water... what did I want to drink? Coffee, or some kind of pop maybe? Or juice? Well, I'd worry about that when I saw someone I could order from - which didn't really include Maria until she offered or I saw her go to another table. "So, umm... I guess all you guys have heard something about Liz and I."
"Oh, yeah," Michael chimed in.
"Most of the details, as of this morning," Maria agreed. "I admit it kind of took me by surprise... all of us, actually." She made a gesture big enough to include Isabel, across the room, and maybe one or two people even further away. "Didn't know you felt that way about her... well, at least, not anymore."
Michael blinked at that. "What... you know that he used to have a crush on her?"
She grinned back at him. "Yup. Ancient history... well, from back before you and I were having real conversations anyway." Hmm... I'd wondered if Maria had picked up on my crush on Liz back then - I guess I had my answer now. "Didn't think it was important enough to mention, I admit."
"I... I see," Max mumbled. Was he starting to realize that I had liked Liz back when she was first getting to know him, that I'd been jealous of him then? "Well, umm... Liz and I had a talk, Alex. Not... I don't think I'm going to tell you what we talked about, though she can fill you in later if she wants." He sighed. "And I suppose giving you two 'treat her right or I'll kick your ass' talks in as many years, about different girls, would be pushing it, huh?"
I laughed nervously. "Just maybe." I could still remember the lunch hour that Max had apparently decided it was his brotherly duty to give me 'the talk' about Isabel... somewhat embarassingly because Izzy herself was still keeping me at, well, at forearm's length at least. But I'd meant the things that I promised Max that time, and done my best to live up to them later. If he really wanted to go over some of the same territory with Liz, I wouldn't put up a fuss. To a certain extent, she deserved her own 'talk', and didn't have a brother to give me one.
But Max let it drop; maybe he felt less certain about giving the spiel in an ex-boyfriend-ly capacity, which I could understand. Around that point a waitress came around, so I asked for a Martian mudslide, which is a kind of iced coffee-and-cream, really tasty... and two Altair muffins. Michael jumped into the conversational gap, talking about this old car he was hoping to buy and fix up. Michael doesn't usually strike me as a gearhead, but I can understand how he'd feel the need for wheels other than that old bike of his... or borrowing the Jetta from Maria and her mom. Mostly I appreciated the change of subject from Liz and I... thought about mentioning the Kyle garage job thing, but in the end I decided that I'd better at least touch base with Kyle first.
When I was done with my brunch, it was maybe ten minutes to eleven, not quite, and I suspected that Liz would be upstairs and getting ready for her shift. I excused myself and headed into the back, wanting to tell her good morning before she came down and clocked in. When I knocked on the door, Mrs Parker was the one to call 'come in.'
"Oh, hello Alex... what's up? Did you know that Liz'll be starting down in the dining room in just a few minutes?"
I smiled. "Umm, yeah, actually, I did. Just wanted to talk to her for a moment first, if that's okay."
Mrs Parker got an odd look on her face. "Alex?" That was Liz's voice, from behind the door to her room. "Mom, could you send him in? I'm almost ready."
The look just got odder, but she waved me on, and I tried to keep from rushing as I went over to Liz's door, trying to figure out what she expected. If Liz really was ready for company, then why hadn't she come out of the room herself? A possible answer occured to me - she wanted to steal a moment with me in privacy, away from her mother... (and I definitely shared the sense of not wanting Liz's parents to realize that we were an item very soon.) Was that it?
She was wearing her uniform already. I hadn't realized that Liz ever got changed up here in her own room before heading downstairs for work, though of course it made a lot of sense, and I wasn't particularly aware of her habits in connection with her waitress gig. She even had the alien antennae in her hair for a second after I opened the door, and then she had pulled them out and put them aside for some reason. It was an odd sensation at first. Liz was still Liz, of course; she was gorgeous in anything, and everything that I'd been starting to feel for her over the past few days was still there. But there was also a bit of guilty awkwardness about feeling those things while looking at her in uniform, and I couldn't really put my finger on why that should be. Maybe I associated Liz in the uniform more strongly with 'Max's girlfriend' than Liz in street clothes, or Liz in a swimsuit? That might be it. On the other hand, I didn't want to let that become a stumbling block for the two of us. I'd probably be seeing her in her uniform a lot, especially after Spring Break ended, and I didn't want to have to tell her she had to avoid it or something. So I did my best to put it out of my mind, as I stepped inside, and the surprising thing was that that pretty much worked.
"Good morning," I whispered, closing the door. "How... how did your night go?"
"Umm... pretty good," she said, doing that looking-down-slightly, eyelashes-aflutter thing that most girls are so good at somehow. "Waking up... was a little unusual, but, umm. Err, well, the thing is..."
I interrupted with an intuitive guess. "Max was here when you woke up?" Liz nodded. "He wanted to talk to you about things, get a little closure maybe?"
Liz smiled. "Yeah, I guess that was it. How did you... did you run into Max?"
"Yeah, I had a bite to eat with him, Maria, and Michael downstairs," I told her. "He gave me a hint of the 'if you break her heart, I'll break your face' routine without actually saying it straight out."
Liz giggled slightly, and then her face fell. "Wait a second, you've been around... just how long exactly, without coming up to say good morning to me first thing?"
I froze for a long moment, then shook my head slightly. "Wait a second, why is it all on me? I mean, yeah, you didn't know that I was coming downtown or when exactly... but you could have called me this morning once Max left. Why can't I just get mad at you for not doing that?" Liz shook her head and started giving me a serious example of the wounded puppy-dog eyes. "I... I was trying to play it cool and not crowd you. Is that not okay?"
Liz kept the P-D-E look up for a few more seconds, and then let it dissolve into laughter. "Sorry, sorry, I know I shouldn't have yanked at your chain like that Alex, but you're too easy! Of course I don't care if you sit down and have some breakfast with our other friends before you come to see me... if you want to. If you'd wanted to come up here first, then I'd have loved that too, and I wouldn't have thought that you weren't cool and I wouldn't have gotten upset that you were crowding me." She stepped close and smiled. "I want to do this right, which suggests 'no mind games.' Sound good?"
"It sounds excellent," I said, and looked deeply into her eyes. "Good morning, darling." Liz laughed softly, just once, and we kissed. Not a long kiss, but very tender and sweet.
"Okay, umm, I'd better get down there. You gonna hang out some more?"
I thought about it. "Not... not right now. Few things I want to do." Like see if I could track down Kyle, and try out a few more ideas for the date tonight. "But I'll come by for lunch around one-thirty, and hang then. Sound cool?"
"Sounds great."
#
Go down to the amusement park in Carlsbad? No, darnit, that didn't even open until the last week in April. Umm... dancing? Eesh, seemed a little, um, a little intimate for a first date, or something. Plus, if Liz sees me out on the dance floor, it might be enough to sink this thing before it even gets started.
Oh, sorry... guess I need to catch you up on things quickly. I found Kyle... he had the morning off and was just kind of lying around the house. Apparently they found someone to fill the job opening yesterday in the late afternoon... a college student in the Kinesiology department... (ie, a jock.)
Also, it looked like Kyle had not heard about Liz and I until I got there... which surprised me, I would have thought that Tess would have told him. But, well, I thought that he was being too cagey with me, and said it straight out, and that's when I realized that he genuinely hadn't known, and he asked me a reasonably big bunch of questions. To give Kyle credit, he didn't give me any hassle, which he probably could have in some way since he was one of Liz's exes too, and a fairly good friend. He wished me all the best luck, and tried brainstorming first date ideas, but I didn't really like any of the ones that he was suggesting, so I headed back to the Crashdown a bit early for the late lunch that I told Liz I'd come for.
And kept on brainstorming date ideas and throwing them out, all through lunch... which was what I was doing up a few paragraphs ago before I realized that I had other things to tell you about. Lunch had come and gone, and it wasn't terribly long until three PM. I hadn't come up with anything closely resembling a date idea that I liked, and was driving myself crazy in the meantime. When I turned around and realized that Liz had gone into the back, I got up before even realizing what I was doing, and followed her.
"We'll have to put the big first date off," I blurted out.
"What, do you have other plans?" Liz shot back. And then her face fell. "Oh, no... don't tell me something happened and one of your parents got hurt?"
"Umm... no, nothing like that." I groaned. "And now it sounds really silly to say, but I've been trying to come up with the perfect evening all day, and getting absolutely nowhere."
Liz thought about it. "Okay... so maybe we do something that isn't quite perfect. That's kinduv overrated anyway, you ask me. I'm not going to reschedule just because you're getting too picky, though. Not gonna happen at all!"
I laughed at the way she'd put that. "Okay... so do you want to make a suggestion then?" Pause. "Umm, it doesn't have to be right now, and I didn't mean to put you on the spot or anything, but..."
"No, I think I've got what might be an idea." Liz said. "If you want to hear it."
"Um, fire away."
"Okay. Well, first, meet back here at five, and go out for a walk-n-talk. Just traipse about the city streets for a while, going nowhere in particular. I realize that on one level we already know each other pretty well, but there's a lot that we'd never have thought of telling each other before this, and I want to share it all."
I smiled. "That... that fits. It's... well, no, it's not perfect, even conspicuously imperfect. But it fits for us, and it sounds really fun." Liz grinned back at me. "That was first... what's the next?"
"Head up to Cow Patties and listen to some music," Liz added. "You told me that that alt country group was playing there tonight and tomorrow night, the one with Markos' older brother in it. Sounds like it could be a fun thing to check out, and we can grab some munchies while we're there." I nodded, smiling again. "Then... then back to your place for a little dessert... both in the literal and vaguely metaphorical sense."
"Wow... you really know how to pull a great date out from up your sleeve," I joked. "Should have left it up to you from the start."
"Nah... you're really cute when you're stressing out about trying to work everything out just right," she teased. "I wouldn't want to have missed seeing that I think."
"Okay, umm... I think I'm gonna chill out here for a bit longer," I said. "Actually brought some of that stupid English lit assignment in my car, so I might go and work on it in the booth."
Liz smiled at me. "Chill away. I'll come keep you company for a bit once my shift is up, and then I've got a few errands I promised my mom that I'd run, and preparations that need to be made before five o'clock." She smiled. "Wanna look my best."
"Like you could ever be less than 'transcendentally gorgeous,'" I told her. (Yes, I really did. I know the line sounds really cheesy, especially when you write it down, but I think I managed to pull it off reasonably well.)
"Maybe... yeah," Liz quipped, striking a pose. "But I can go beyond that, if I try really hard."
#
And I'd have been hard pressed to argue that Liz hadn't reached 'beyond transcendence', when I met her in the parking lot at five o'clock. Whoops, need to play catchup again, sorry. I guess I'm getting too used to telling the story slightly out of order.
Well, how much can I say that's at all interesting about my poetry assignment? Got a few pages of handwritten draft done, which was a little bit better than I'd expected, and didn't wear myself out too badly coming up with them. Once Liz had finished working and sat down in the booth across from me, I couldn't concentrate on the poems much, and we played a little more 'sprouts' back and forth, experimenting with starting patterns of four dots, trying Liz's veto rules one way and another. And we got into a big discussion about what might happen, say, if there was only one move left, just two live dots within reach of each other, but the other person had a veto left. I managed to convince Liz that it simply wasn't fair to allow the vetoes to be used in such a way, because they could always be saved up for a situation like that. Liz agreed, finally, that the game could not be won directly on a veto... that if a player had literally no other move, he could still make the vetoed play.
After three games, (sorry, but I can't remember them well enough to draw them out for you like the first two,) Liz had to leave and run her errands... there was a supplier who she had to drop a cheque off to, paying for dry food supplies, and a formal complaint to file with the cleaners. I managed to get a few more paragraphs written after she'd left, then gathered up all my stuff and headed towards the front door... getting there just as Isabel came in. Quintessentially awkward moment.
"Um, hi there," I said lamely. "How's it been going?"
"Welll... not too bad," she admitted. "Um, I heard about... about you and-"
"Yeah, I guess I figured you had when Max seemed to know," I said. "And, um, well, I couldn't help noticing that Max went and found Liz, to talk about it, and you... didn't."
"You didn't come and find me, either," Izzy snapped defensively. A few of the other customers were starting to notice our encounter, and we each looked around and nodded to signal the other outside, at the same time. The spring weather outside was perfectly warm, and Isabel led the way over to a sidewalk bench not far from the cafe door. "I... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bite your head off there. Guess I'm feeling a little upset and surprised at this development." I sat down too, and Isabel looked right at me, her light brown eyes opened wide. "Is this... Is this because I was dating Grant? Some kind of... of payback, on any level?"
"Not an easy question to answer," I muttered, sighing. "No, I don't think that I was trying to give you payback, to do this in order to hurt you the way I was hurt, when you picked him. It... it might end up working out that way, but that was never my intention." Deep breath. "On the other hand... well, I'm not sure that I'd have been as open to having new feelings for Liz, if you weren't dating someone else, and if Max wasn't so visibly jealous of Kyle over Tess." I opened my mouth to say something else, but then realized that I wasn't sure what, so I shut up and waited to see if Isabel would have a reply.
She did, but it wasn't at all what I expected. "I'm breaking up with Grant tonight." She must have seen me jump with surprise. "I... I had already pretty much decided to yesterday, before... before Michael told us about... about you and Liz kissing and all that." There was a short pause. "Does that... does that change anything? Do you think there's any possibility that we could..."
"Dammit," I muttered, and Isabel got a puzzled, slightly offended look on her face, and I quickly added, "Sorry, sorry, just... that's the one thing you could have said to make this whole thing as difficult as possible - you do realize that, right?" She shrugged. "Do you... did you have a reason for what you decided... beforehand? One that you don't mind telling me?"
Isabel thought about that for a moment. "Grant... he's a great guy, I'm convinced of that. But - I was starting to realize what everybody around me has been saying, that he's not the right guy for me. That we're in different stages of our lives, and... well, I'm not sure that the age difference in itself is bad, but the way each of us is reacting to dating someone that different from our own age isn't ideal. I hope that he finds someone great, but I'm not Miss Right for him either."
I nodded. That had given me my cue. "Okay... I'm glad to hear that, it seems like a... like a decision that I'm proud of you for, Isabel." Sigh. "And... and I still have strong feelings for you, Isabel, feelings that are definitely as big and important as anything that I've come to feel for Liz lately. But..." Deep breath, this was the part that would be hard to say. "Grant or no Grant, Liz or no Liz, I'm not sure that I could start dating you again. Because my heart might open up to you, but I'd always be worried that you'd be looking for someone more sophisticated and handsome. Because you had nearly a year to let me in, to show me that I was a priority, and you didn't. And... well, under the circumstances, I'm more than a little concerned that the only reason you want me right now is because some other girl does... because you can't- Well, actually, 'because you can't have me' is overstating the case a little. Liz and I are just starting up whatever is going on between us, and I haven't made her any promises, and commitments. But you'd have to fight for me, and I think on some level that might appeal to you more than actually being with me."
All of a sudden, with that, Isabel's face, which had been relatively calm throughout the rest of the speech, broke into the most wretched cast of wounded disappointment. Obviously, (in hindsight,) she had been fighting not to show how much my words were hurting her, until I shoveled on more than she could bear. I felt like quite a prick, but still pretty much resolved. The truth might hurt, but it was stuff that I still think needed to be said, and maybe Isabel would be the better off for having heard it.
"I... sorry, I have to..." Too choked up to say anything more, she lurched to her feet and hurried away from the bench, towards the front door and the parking lot. I didn't look up, so I'm not sure exactly which way she went. About a minute later, I got up myself, and headed the other way, down toward Second street. I wasn't sure what to think. Ever since I woke up that morning, I'd realized that eventually Isabel and I would have a talk about the whole situation, but somehow I hadn't expected it to go like this, with Isabel talking about dumping Grant and wanting to get back together with me. Had I been a little unfair to her? How would things play out from here on in?
After walking around for a minute, I circled around and went to the Crashdown parking lot, since my car was still there - checking first to see if Isabel was leaning against the wall or sitting inside a vehicle... maybe crying or maybe not. But I didn't see any trace of her. Either she had already driven off, or maybe she was inside the dining room. I drove back home and tried to dress myself up nice without getting too formal, made sure I was cleanly shaved, (the five o-clock shadow thing doesn't work well for me I think,) and smelling nice, and that my hair was behaving itself, and so on and so forth.
Mom caught me on the way out towards the door. "Well, you look nice, sweetie. Got plans for tonight?"
"Umm... yeah actually, mom. Gonna go listen to some music with a friend."
"Isabel's come back around?"
I almost stumbled when she said that. "Umm... mom, it's not Isabel, and I think I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't pry... at least not today."
She raised an eyebrow. "I didn't mean to 'pry.' Just curious about what's going on... but if you'd like me to leave it alone, I can leave it alone. Probably for a few days, even." I laughed. "Hope you have a great time."
"Thanks, maw." I hurried over and impulsively kissed her on the cheek before I left.
Okay, so a few minutes later I was waiting in the parking lot, and this pretty much brings us back to the point where I started the scene. (Sorry again for that looping mess.) I didn't have to wait long before Liz made an entrance through the side door of the cafe. I remember that she seemed to expect that I'd be there already... she didn't open the door tentatively and peek out, as if she weren't sure if she'd see me or not. She came through boldly and confidently, showing off just slightly.
I also remember what she was wearing, of course. An intensely red skirt, not micro-short but not terribly long either, and slim-lined with a bit of a slit up one side to give her legs a better range of motion. Dark grey shirt, kind of a thin pullover or something, not quite long enough to tuck into the waist of her skirt, which left just a tempting bit of midriff showing. (I think I groaned when I first saw that.) She was also wearing little white socks and rose mary jane sneakers, her hair was back in a slightly pooffy ponytail, (which surprised me because Liz doesn't usually have that kind of... of volume in her hair I guess - did she use something special in it?) And short dangly earrings, a simple gold chain necklace, and one ring on the index finger of her right hand, a thin gold band with a glint of red on it. Oh, and a watch on her left wrist. Small purse on a long strap, slung over one shoulder. That's pretty much everything she was wearing, or at least everything that was visible.
"Hi!" She rushed forward as soon as she saw me standing next to the car, and we hugged, and kissed a brief and sweet kiss.
"You look so absolutely amazing that I don't have the right words for it," I said, and she grinned and said that I was looking very handsome too. Side by side we walked out of the lot, and she turned left, heading north on main street, which I was happy enough to go along with.
"Hmmm..." Liz mumbled after a moment. "Maybe we need to play a bit of an icebreaker game to warm things up?"
"Well, I'm not so sure that there's a need," I teased her, "but if you've got an idea, then I'm up for it." Thought for a second. "Not twenty questions or I spy though... not sure why, just don't feel like either of those."
"Alright," she replied calmly. "Well, we don't have any writing surface to play Sprouts on while we walk." I nodded. "How about rock-pay... no, I was gonna say rock-paper-scissors, but didn't you have your own variation of that, that you taught Maria and I how to play?"
"Um, yeah... International." I laughed. "You want to match me on that?"
"I think it'd be fun," she said. "But I can't really remember any of the moves, or what beats what."
"I remember the order, but I'm not sure how the different moves were made with hand gestures," I said, deciding that I could probably make the hand gestures up all over again if I was careful. "Okay, well, first there's warfare, that's easy." I made a fist with one hand, the thumb above my knuckles. "And... and bureaucracy, also called politics." This was with the fingers all together, palm up. "And war beats bureaucracy."
"Yeah... that makes sense, but I'm not so sure about that signal for bureaucracy," Liz said. She mimed out doing the one-two- gesture with a closed fist, thumb inside the fist, and then going to the palm-up position. Sure enough, it required an awkward twist of the wrist that had to be telegraphed a bit early... which would make it less desirable to play.
"Hmm... that's a good point," I realized. "Okay, make bureaucracy this," and I made a pointing gesture with the topmost finger in my hand. "Like 'hey, you - follow the rules!'"
Liz tried throwing to that gesture. "Better, I think. Okay, war beats bureaucracy. What does bureaucracy beat?"
"Trade," I said, holding my hand vertically with the fingers together, as if to shake somebody's hand or take a payment. "And trade beats warfare, because it's the people who sell the weapons who always come out on top." Liz laughed. "Together, those three are known as the natural pursuits, because they all relate in the same way to the last two moves."
"Right," Liz said. "I remember some of this. All three mortal pursuits can get beaten by magic."
"By sorcery, yeah." I made a hand gesture with my palm pointing mostly downwards, fingers spread and slightly bent, in what seemed a good pose for casting a magic spell. "Sorcery can only be defeated with religion." Religion was the palm down, fingers together, in a prayerful way. "And the natural pursuits, in turn, all beat religion."
"Got it," Liz said. "In a way, the system is one cycle of three nested inside the other."
"Pretty much. Okay, ready to play?"
"Yeah. Get set... one, two..." We threw out, and Liz had gone with trade, while I'd tried sorcery. "Darnit."
"First time lucky," I said, because it really wasn't more than that. Well, I'd guessed that Liz was fairly likely to choose one of the natural pursuits first, especially since there were three different ones to choose from. Sorcery was a good move as long as your opponent was more likely to pick a natural pursuit than religion. "And again... one, two..." I laughed. This time, Liz hadn't been able to resist moving to religion, and I beat her with bureaucracy.
"Go ahead and laugh, mister president," Liz warned. "This isn't over yet." I raced to guess how she'd react this time. Pick sorcery, to beat the mortal pursuit I'd thrown? No... she wouldn't be that predictable, but she might guess that I'd expect her to do that, and throw war to beat my religion. So I threw sorcery again.
"Hah!" She'd out-thought me, or maybe just stuck with religion again figuring that it was the last thing that I'd expect. "And one-two..."
I was confused at this point, decided to throw religion myself just because I hadn't done it yet, and groaned when I saw Liz with the fist of warfare.
"And again. One, two..."
#
By the time we got up past eleventh street the game of 'International' had pretty much wrapped up... I beat Liz by two throws out of maybe forty-eight. As Liz kept walking north to twelfth street I blurted out, "Isabel asked if there was any chance we'd get back together."
Liz lost her stride, and automatically I reached out to catch her arm and try to steady her. "Umm... er, I guess I was worried about that," Liz muttered. "What did you tell her?"
"I... well, I'm not sure I want to get into the whole conversation, but the nub of it was that I said I didn't think it was likely to happen anytime soon."
Liz nodded, kept walking, and smiled a small, scared smile. "You know, we didn't say anything about exclusivity or anything... certainly not yet. You might be falling in love with me, but you're still in love with Isabel Evans... I'm pretty sure of that much. I... I wouldn't mind if you wanted to... to go out with her on alternating nights, or, god, I'm not quite sure what I..."
"First off, I kinda think you would mind," I said softly. "You probably wouldn't be so nervous about saying it if you weren't."
"Okay, maybe I mind," she allowed. "Emotionally. But I don't mean to mind, and I don't think that that should necessarily stand in the way if you decide..."
"Sssh." I swept Liz up into my arms, (which was difficult and thrilling at the same time because she had been continuing to walk even after I started the sweeping maneuver,) and kissed her soundly. "I should probably say at this point that I didn't tell Isabel no because of any obligation to you, or because of any disappointment you might feel. Though I wouldn't want to do something that gives you a negative emotional reaction like that anyway." I sighed. "It's a little hard to explain, but I made the choice because of my own feelings. Yes, I still love Isabel, and there's a part of my heart that still longs for her alone. But... but I don't want to let that get in the way of you and I figuring our own thing out, if we possibly can. I want to look forward, not back in time. At this point, there's nothing I want from Isabel Evans more than closure... and that might be a little hard to get, but I'll do what I can."
Liz smiled. "I... I think I'm happy to hear that - well, most of it. Not really the part about even a part of you longing for her alone... though I guess I shouldn't be surprised at that." She sighed. "I suppose I have a little bit of my heart that feels that way about Max, though it's settling down and shrinking bit by bit. That would be the closure thing."
I smiled a little. We arrived at twelfth street at this point, and I turned left onto it, going west. Liz followed. "Do you mind if I ask about exactly what you and Max said to each other? You didn't share many details this morning... of course, if you want to keep it private, I can understand that, but I thought I'd ask."
Liz thought about that silently for most of the block. "I could give you a little more of the dirt... but then you'll owe me - and I might or might not want to collect on the debt by hearing more about your conversation with Isabel."
"That's fair I guess."
"Um, well, okay, let's see." Liz considered. We came up to North Richardson, and she shot me a look and tentatively, nodded her head back down south. I shook my head. We could afford to go a few blocks further west before looping around, at the very least. Maybe to Washington avenue, and walk past the fifth street park. "Okay, well, he woke me up by tapping on the balcony window, we went through a few of the usual introductory stuff, well I guess you've heard, guess it wasn't a surprise, etcetera. A little bantering about whether he should come inside or I go outside, for the talk."
"Ahh. And which did you?"
"Umm... I went out, onto the balcony," she said, and looked up at me. "Yes, in my pajamas, but it wasn't... well, what I mean to say, is that I was almost certainly more covered up than I am now."
I laughed. "Wasn't trying to imply that you weren't, but okay. So what was spoken of out on the balcony?"
"Umm... he asked - no, that was me. I asked if he was wondering what you had that he didn't, and he answered in a fairly typical and self-deprecating way. And, well, we kind of slipped into a Romeo and Juliet metaphor, since that's been haunting us for ages and ages now."
"Oh?"
"Yes. Except this time... Juliet realizes that the only way to avoid tragedy is to walk away." She took a deep breath. "Inspired by this really sweet guy from the Capulet side of town. I, um, I hope you're not offended by the comparison, or..."
"No," I mumbled, uncertainly, then took a deep breath, thinking about it. "No, I really think that I can live with that."
"Alexander the Capulet." She giggled.
"But not too closely related to Juliet or anything."
"Oh, of course not, hehehe. Um, let's see... he wished me well, and I did the same for him, of course. And... he asked for one last kiss, which I didn't see a problem in going through with. We kissed, he went down the ladder. That's it."
"Okay, I suppose." I took a deep breath. "Think that's probably enough of rehashing the past. Maybe we can talk about the future a little?"
"Hmmm!" Liz mulled over that for a few seconds. "What about the future? Let's see... there's the rest of spring break... going back to classes. Junior prom, finals, and then the summer. Unless I've missed anything important."
"Prom," I muttered to myself, struck by what Kyle had said yesterday morning... or not said. I noticed that Liz was looking up at me with an odd expression on her face. "Umm... sorry, wasn't really meaning to say that out loud. Of course, I'd like to take you to prom, but we might be getting ahead of ourselves just a little to make plans for it yet."
"Alright. But I'll keep my dance card wide open for you," she said in a breathy, mischievous voice.
"You'd darn well better," I laughed.
Well, we had a nice long walk - through the park, south as far as Walnut street, back over to main street, and then heading back to the cafe. Along the way, I mentioned to Liz how my mom had asked me if I had a date, and mentioned Isabel, and how I'd tried to avoid giving her any details.
"Yeah, I'm not sure if I want to let my parents know that I've got something going on with you very soon, either," Liz admitted. "Not that I feel any shame or anything, just... I dunno. Already all of our friends know, and I'd just like to be able to keep a little sense of having this secret all to myself."
"You don't need to explain it to me," I said. "Come to think of it... I wonder if the other kids around and at school are going to clue in soon."
"They may be a little slow to realize," Liz pointed out. "Considering the eighth-grade incident with you and Maria."
"Oh, man." It had been in February of 1998, and some rumor started out that Maria and I were 'hooking up' in secret. The issue became the talk of Stockton junior high for several weeks, with about half our class sharing and escalating the stories... (I had been particularly embarassed by the part about how I'd supposedly licked her yoo-hie under the bleachers during the big football game with Northside... actually I'd been sitting at home all alone that night, listening to angsty rock music, and Maria had spent that night with Liz at the park.) The administration had gotten involved, and, pretty much of course, had found nothing to substantiate the rumors, and been pretty much unable to find or discipline anybody responsible for starting them.
We'd passed from the limelight of student public discussion as spring started and rumors turned to the supposed anabolic dealings of the softball team. But a few people still started talking about our supposed affair for months, until the fall, when the public opinion suddenly shifted to accept that the entire thing had been a crock, and those who had insisted most often (if not loudly) that there had to be something going on between Maria and I had gotten their fair share of teasing for 'falling for the joke,' and that had pretty much been it.
"Yeah, that might give us a little cover," I admitted. "Okay, come on - let's pick up the pace. We should head off soon, it's a pretty long drive to Cow Patty's."
"Sure," Liz agreed. As we headed up main street, I noticed some familiar faces. Maria, Kyle, and Tess were all together, in front of the cafe, and talking. Seemed like a bit of an odd group. Kyle spotted Liz, and nudged Maria, and Maria waved as we got closer.
"Hi," I said, feeling a little nervous.
"Hey there," Tess said. "Going anywhere fun?"
"Ummm... out to listen to a little music," Liz said, passing by. "Have a good evening!"
"You too," Maria replied, and Kyle made an agreeable sound. We headed through the parking lot and I opened the passenger side car door for her.
"Oooh, how chivalrous." Liz kissed me on the cheek and then sat down.
I went around, got behind the wheel, and started the engine. "Okay, I have a bit of an odd question," I said once we were on the street. "If you could change one thing about the past year and a half... what would it be?"
"Hmmm..." Liz thought about that for a long time. "All right, I have my answer, though you might not like it at first."
"Oh." Sigh. "Well, tell me anyway."
"I wouldn't have run away from Max, at the Pod chamber, when he got the message from home." Liz sighed. "It probably wouldn't have changed anything in the big picture between us... not like we'd be together now. But... but I feel ashamed of what I did, when I look back on that day. Sure, I was hurt by what I'd just seen, and I thought that letting him pursue his destiny was a good idea. But... but he'd been through so much hard stuff over the few days leading up to that moment, and it had been my strength that helped him get through it. All of that stuff he'd been through in the White room, fighting back against the Special unit. Pierce getting killed. And then he gets all of this cryptic information from a hologram, and I'm sure he'd have appreciated my help trying to figure out what it meant for him. I could have stayed around, been supportive for... for a few more days or something. It wouldn't have hurt me, much, and it would have meant so much to him." She took a long breath. "What about you?"
"I'd... I'm not sure, I admit." Thought about it. "Okay, I'm not sure if this is a definitive answer, but it's a contender. I'd go back and trust you more, in connection with the whole blood exchange thing. Yeah, I was hurt and I'd have told you so, but you'd done so much to earn my trust, and I think I didn't really give you credit for that, didn't keep in mind that you had a good head on your shoulders and if you were mixed up in all this, there had to be a better reason than what I was seeing." Paused to think. "Though if I'd done that, it might have been longer before you'd confided in me."
"Maybe not that long," Liz admitted. "Isabel would probably still have dreamwalked you and taken your measure, even if you hadn't been so confrontational, and... did you know that she was arguing with Max, telling him that you had a right to know, right at the same time that I was actually telling you inside the jail cells?"
I blinked. "No... neither of them ever mentioned anything about that to me."
"She was. And I'd probably have made my own pitch to Max, after a few days, even if there hadn't been all of that angst over what you might tell the Sheriff."
"Glad to hear it." I drove on for about a minute in silence. "Do you think that we'll be letting someone else into the secret soon?"
"Umm... I dunno, I never really thought about it. Like who?"
"I'm not really sure. Just wondered... somebody's parents, maybe. Max and Isabel's?"
"Well, if they tell their folks, it won't really have that much to do with us."
"Maybe not at first... they'll probably want to touch base with us and find out our reactions to the whole thing," I pointed out.
