Meredith and Derek stood side by side at the window to Addison's room. "Has she been awake at all?" Derek asked.

Meredith sighed. "She fades in and out, but she's not really talking to anybody. She's probably still in shock, at least mentally."

Derek nodded.

"But she's strong, Derek. She'll be okay. She's breathing on her own. We fixed her up as best we could. She just has a lot to deal with, and that'll take time, I think."

"I know, Mer. I know."

Meredith reached out to take his hand, but he pulled away. "Not now, Meredith, I can't do this. I can't be there…I need to think." Tears glimmered in his eyes as he turned away from her, slipping through nurses to disappear around the corner.

Looking in through the blinds, Meredith noticed Addison awake. She slipped into the room and went to her bedside. "Addison? It's Meredith."

Addison's eyes slowly locked on to Meredith's voice, shifting towards her. "Meredith?"

"Yeah." Oh my God, Meredith thought, we have never really been that close, but we're connected now, and she needs me, and I have no bloody idea what I'm doing and…"How are you feeling?" she said out loud.

Addison stared blankly at her, absolutely no sign of expression on her battered face.

"I know," Meredith answered herself, pulling up a chair, "that was a stupid question. I'm sorry."

Addison grabbed on to Meredith's hand before she could offer it. "I'm…not," she whispered.

Meredith leaned closer. "Not what, sweetie?"

Addison struggled to take a deep breath, trying to push past the pain. "Feeling. I'm…not…feeling."

Meredith was at a loss for words.

"I'm not feeling," Addison repeated, a little stronger now. "I don't think…I don't think I can."

"Okay," Meredith answered.

"Tell me…what…What's wrong with me?"

Meredith reached for her chart of the end of the bed. "Honestly? I mean, you have a few broken ribs. There was a lot of internal bleeding, you were…"

"Not that," Addison interrupted. "Not that…"

Meredith shook her head. "I don't understand, I'm sorry, I…"

"I need to know why…why he hurt…me…"

Oh God, the rape, she knows, I don't know what to say, I don't know what to say. She needs somebody else, anybody else, why am I here, why me, I…"I can't answer that, sweetie, I don't know the answer."

Addison was crying softly, still holding Meredith's hand, and she turned her face away. Meredith used a damp sponge from the bedside to wipe Addison brow, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "It's will be okay, Addison, you'll be okay."

"No…"

"Yes," Meredith insisted. "Yes. I'll be your person, I will not leave your side. I will help you, you will be okay. You will be okay," she repeated. "You have to believe that."

Addison's gentle crying moved into shaking sobs, and Meredith moved onto the bed beside her. Meredith held her, hugged her, as gently as possible. "You'll be okay. Just hang on, Addison, hang on, and we'll get you through it. We'll get you through it." Addison slipped into sleep again, and Meredith gently eased her back to the pillow before returning to the hallway.

Derek was waiting by the nurse's station. "You are good with her, Mer. You're great with her. I don't know how…I couldn't."

"I know," Meredith said, meeting his gaze. "You couldn't."

Derek was taken aback. "I…"

"She needs somebody. I know her pain, I know what she's gong through, I know how she feels. And I know that she needs somebody, because I know what it's like to not have anybody."

Derek broke away from her gaze.

"I saw your tears, and I know that you care, and you should care, but you aren't there. I would like to think that you would be there for me, if I was in that bed, you would be there. I would like to think that you would always hold my hand. But you wouldn't. You couldn't. And I can't anymore, Derek, I can't. You have to be consistent, Derek, she's your ex-wife. You should be there. And you were there...and you ran away."

"Meredith, I…"

She shook her head. "I can't, Derek," she said, grabbing a cup of water from the dispenser before turning back to him. "I need someone who will be strong and who will be there, and I need someone to count on." She walked back across the hall towards Addison's room, pausing in the doorway. "To be honest, Derek, right now…There are more important things at stake than you and me."

Meredith turned and walked back into her friend's room, leaving Derek staring after her.