A/N are at the bottom.
violinstud is online [Tuesday, March 13, 2012 10:02pm]
violinstud (10:04pm): Hey, you.
galaxyeyes315 (10:04pm): Hi...
violinstud (10:04pm): So last night.
galaxyeyes315 (10:05pm): Yeah, that...
violinstud (10:05pm): What are you thinking? Do you not like what we did?
galaxyeyes315 (10:06pm): No, no, it was fine. I just hope you don't think any differently of me.
galaxyeyes315 (10:06pm): I don't know. Don't mind me. Hi again?
violinstud (10:07pm): Why would I?
galaxyeyes315 (10:07pm): idk
violinstud (10:08pm): :p You're fine. We can do it any time you want.
violinstud (10:08pm):What's up? How was your day?
So, Kurt tells him his day. How it was the same as always. How his friendstopped ignoring him, but it didn't help much.
Spencer asks if Kurt's friend thinks her boyfriend is still cheating on her. Kurt says no. Says he doesn't know what's up with the boyfriend.
Once Kurt says that he doesn't want to talk about his friend anymore, Spencer immediately changes the subject to a much more enjoyable one where Spencer tells him he just watched Funny Girl for the first time the other day, and that turns into a fifteen minute conversation that Kurt's sure Spencer was not prepared for. It doesn't draw the mysterious boy away though. Spencer just does the one thing Kurt knows for sure he's good at and changes the subject to one Kurt's secretly been waiting for. He forgets to care about the ghosts in his room that are silently judging him.
violinstud (12:03am): Wow, look at the time...
galaxyeyes315 (12:04am): Yes, it appears to be a time that happens every night. Are you saying you're tired?
violinstud (12:04am): Are you tired?
galaxyeyes315 (12:05am): I asked you first.
violinstud (12:05am):I am a little. But I want to talk about something, if that's okay.
Kurt starts to feel a little anxious, but if there's anything he wants to do with Spencer, it's definitely talk about things.
galaxyeyes315 (12:06am): It is most definitely okay to talk about something.
violinstud (12:06am): Haha, okay.
violinstud (12:07am):Shit. Why am I nervous?
Kurt's heart skips a beat.
...violinstud is typing...
violinstud (12:07am): Okay, so like, I know you like dirty talk now sort of, right?
galaxyeyes315 (12:08am): I'm rolling my eyes at you. But yes, sure.
violinstud (12:09am): Haha, aw, don't roll your eyes! I think it's entirely awesome and sexy that you like getting talked dirty to. But that's not what I wanted to talk about, I was more just leading into it from there, I guess.
violinstud (12:10am): I want to know, what part of your body do you like getting touched the most? Not even during sex, but let's just say we were watching a movie and cuddling or like going shopping. Whatever. Do you like hand holding? A hand on your back?
galaxyeyes315 (12:12am): A hand on my back is weird. Hand holding makes me feel a little uncomfortable, depending on the setting.
galaxyeyes315 (12:13am): I just like meaningful stares and hands in inappropriate places when no one's looking. That doesn't happen a lot, but I like when it does.
galaxyeyes315 (12:13am): Actually, I take that back. That's terrifying.
violinstud (12:14am): Lol. You're weird, it's okay, I get it.
violinstud (12:15am):So you like a secret hand on your inner thigh? Or a hand in your back pocket? ;)
Kurt thinks it's time to take his laptop to his bed, so he does.
galaxyeyes315 (12:17am): Mmm. Both. God, I can't believe we're talking about this.
violinstud (12:18am): I'm glad we are. ;) So, you'd want me to grab your ass if I were standing behind you in line for something? Or rubbing you during a movie?
galaxyeyes315 (12:18am): Shut up.
violinstud (12:19am): Haha you get turned on too easily, babe. I shouldn't say too easily, though. Just the right amount. When was the last time you had sex?
Kurt has to think about this.
galaxyeyes315 (12:20am): End of January?
violinstud (12:21am): Wow, that was sooner than I thought.
galaxyeyes315 (12:21am): Shut up. See? I get laid. Sort of.
violinstud (12:22am):Not enough. Galaxy eyes with a nice ass? I'd love to fulfill all your desires, Kory.
Oh, right. He's been lying about who he is. Why did I say my name was Kory? I could have at least been honest about my name.
galaxyeyes315 (12:23am): I bet you would.
galaxyeyes315 (12:23am): And how do you know I have a nice ass? Assuming I even do. (I do.)
violinstud (12:24am): Dunno. I guess it's wishful thinking on my part, but I think it's true. ;)
violinstud (12:25am): So, you'd like it if I were to grind up on you at a club or always have my hand in your back pocket while we talked with strangers?
galaxyeyes315 (12:26am): Are you turned on by being possessive? You like being in control, don't you?
violinstud (12:26am):For daily life events? Absolutely. For sex? Definitely not. I get more enjoyment out of knowing someone else is loving it. "You come first" has always been my philosophy. ;) Unless of course, you want me to be in control. I'm down with that.
It's starting to hit Kurt that this is real. Sure, he doesn't even know what Spencer looks like, but their conversations are starting to lead into a territory that Kurt knows he would never tell Blaine about. He's one step away from being able to get this guy's number and meet up with him, and Kurt knows what would happen if they met up.
As much as he doesn't do any of this with Blaine anymore, he's still those two words: with Blaine.
galaxyeyes315 (12:28am): Hey, I have something I want to talk about, too.
violinstud (12:28am):Go for it.
Kurt sighs.
galaxyeyes315 (12:29am): Do you give good advice on relationships?
violinstud (12:30am): Depends if you're trying to break it up or not. Is this about your friend again?
galaxyeyes315 (12:31am): Okay, I guess I'll just come out and say it. I have a boyfriend. And we've been together for a while, but we're having issues, because he doesn't really want to hang out lately.
violinstud (12:32am):Do you think he's cheating on you?
Kurt almost laughs.
galaxyeyes315 (12:34am): No, no, I don't think he'd ever do that. I just, I don't know what to do about it. I think he's losing interest, and the worst part is that I'm not sure I care as much anymore. I would have five months ago, but we've really been letting the spark die. It should bug me more, shouldn't it? And sorry to dump this on you all of the sudden, but I can't talk about this to my other friends, because they all love us together.
violinstud (12:36am):No, it's totally cool. Well, you shouldn't try to keep something going that isn't making you very happy. Especially if you think he's getting bored of you. But I don't know, I'm really not the best person to ask for relationship advice, especially if I'm a guy trying to get to know you haha. Just being honest.
Kurt starts blushing.
galaxyeyes315 (12:37am): ...Wait, you like like me? Or want to get to know me?
violinstud (12:38am): "Like like"? Are we in third grade? I'd like to get to know you better, yes.
galaxyeyes315 (12:39am): You don't even know what I look like, though.
violinstud (12:39am): Doesn't matter. I think you're cool. We should hang out some time.
galaxyeyes315 (12:40am): I don't know if that's a good idea right now. I still have a boyfriend.
violinstud (12:40am): Then don't have a boyfriend.
galaxyeyes315 (12:41am): Spence, I can't do that.
violinstud (12:41am): Does he have your puppy hostage? Of course you can.
violinstud (12:42am): Okay, hey, I take it back. I'm sorry. You don't need to break up with him to have us hang out. It's not like we would do anything, right? ;) Let's just meet somewhere.
galaxyeyes315 (12:43am): Okay.
galaxyeyes315 (12:43am): Where?
violinstud (12:44am): West Lima Mall. I'll come to you.
galaxyeyes315 (12:44am): Are you sure?
violinstud (12:44am): I'm one hundred percent sure.
galaxyeyes315 (12:45am): What if you think I'm ugly? You said you only like talking to pretty people.
violinstud (12:46am): Trust me, I don't think you're ugly. You do have galaxy eyes, don't you?
galaxyeyes315 (12:46am): I guess.
violinstud (12:47am): I'll just have to get extremely close to you to see them ;)
galaxyeyes315 (12:47am): You're unbelievable...
violinstud (12:48am): Unbelievably into you, yeah.
galaxyeyes315 (12:48am): We've got a real charmer over here.
violinstud (12:49am): Over where? I can't see.
galaxyeyes315 (12:49am): Where should we meet? Should we exchange numbers or pictures of ourselves so we don't accidentally start talking to some helpless kid? "Are you Spencer?" isn't exactly the question I want to be asking random hot guys.
violinstud (12:50am):Haha. That'd be hilarious to watch. I think you should do that.
It's almost one in the morning, Kurt just told this guy that he wants to break up with his boyfriend, and they're planning to meet. Something tells Kurt he should talk to Blaine first.
galaxyeyes315 (12:52am): Hey, um, wait. I don't know if I can do this.
violinstud (12:53am): Is it because of the boyfriend?
galaxyeyes315 (12:53am): Because of the boyfriend.
violinstud (12:54am): Damn.
violinstud (12:54am):That sucks.
...violinstud is typing...
violinstud (12:55am): So, we can never meet? Is that what you're trying to say?
galaxyeyes315 (12:56am): No, not that, I'm sorry. I would really like to meet you. I just need to talk to him first, see where we're at. I honestly have longer conversations with you than I do him.
violinstud (12:57am):If you don't mine me asking... Then why are guys dating? I'm not saying that we'll meet and hit it off, you'll actually hate me, but you should be with someone that makes you happy and that enjoys talking to you. Just a fact for everyone to know.
Since when did a guy with the username violinstud have better knowledge of relationships than Kurt? This is sad.
galaxyeyes315 (12:58am): That's very true.
galaxyeyes315 (12:59am): I don't know. I'm going to talk to him.
violinstud (1:00am): Good. But hey, don't just break up with him because of how I talk to you. Maybe he's just having a bad month and doesn't know how to communicate it. If you guys were good before, I'd hate to think I had any part in your break up.
galaxyeyes315 (1:01am): Wow.
violinstud (1:01am): What?
galaxyeyes315 (1:02am): You're not selfish, is all. I didn't expect to hear that thoughtful of a reply from you. :P
violinstud (1:03am): Wow, you're so nice...
violinstud (1:03am): Actually, I'll have you know that I am incredibly selfish. I just don't like making pretty boys sad. Especially ones with galaxy eyes.
galaxyeyes315 (1:04am): You're too kind.
violinstud (1:04am):Mhm.
There's a few moments that go by where neither of them try to type anything, and it gets Kurt thinking that they're probably thinking the same thing.
galaxyeyes315 (1:05am):We should probably go to bed. If I'm talking to Blaine tomorrow, I'm going to need to rest up.
Pure panic shoots through Kurt's body the moment after he presses enter. What if Spencer knows who Blaine is? There can only be so many guys named Blaine in Ohio, not to mention gay, high school teenagers. If Spencer sees on Blaine's Facebook that he's in a glee club with his boyfriend, then fuck.
violinstud (1:06am): Your boyfriend's name is Blaine?
galaxyeyes315 (1:07am): Um
violinstud (1:07am): What? That's a shitty name, and he sounds like a shitty guy.
galaxyeyes315 (1:08am): Okay. Nevermind. Yep.
violinstud (1:08am): You okay?
galaxyeyes315 (1:09am): Yeah?
violinstud (1:09am): You just seem... I don't know. So, okay? Good night?
galaxyeyes315 (1:10am): Yep, good night.
violinstud (1:11am):Are you mad at me?
No, just fucking terrified that you're going to find out who I am.
galaxyeyes315 (1:11am): Not at all. Why would I be?
violinstud (1:12am): I don't know. Okay, yeah cool. Good night, galaxy. Good luck with the talk.
galaxyeyes315 (1:13am):Thanks. Good night.
violinstud has disconnected [Wednesday, March 14, 2012 1:13am]
Fuck.
Kurt doesn't end up talking to Blaine later that night. He gets too nervous over the idea of breaking up with him, so he tells Blaine that he can't hang out.
It's Thursday night, March 15th, that they're entering the Lima Bean to talk. Immediately, Blaine asks if Kurt's talking to anyone, since he didn't want to hang out with him the other night. Like you never blow me off.Kurt was having a comforting and then sexual talk with Spencer, one that ended with Kurt having to say good night early so he could imagine Spencer thrusting him into the mattress. Kurt wasn't proud of it, and then his post-orgasm turned from guilt to anger to confusion.
Kurt says he is talking to someone, but just talking.
Blaine shows signs of frustration but doesn't get pissed like Kurt wants him to. To have Blaine show any emotion other than indifference would be nice right about now. It doesn't look like it's going to happen here, though. Kurt suggests that they go spend some alone time together some place else.
They go to Blaine's house, but Kurt keeps thinking about the talk he had with Spencer two nights ago. You should be with someone that makes you happy and that enjoys talking to you.They cuddle slightly, but when they start to kiss, Blaine stops, saying he's tired.
So, this is it. Kurt's heart starts beating a lot faster than he wishes it would, but he can't stop his feelings. He once was madly in love with Blaine, but it just isn't that way anymore. His heart beats even harder, knowing how much it's about to hurt both of them anyway. He can barely hear himself think. What's about to happen? Is he really doing this? His first boyfriend?
"Are you just not into it?" Kurt finally breathes out, scooting away from Blaine.
He thinks Blaine can hear the sound of finality in his tone. "I don't know..."
Kurt bites his lip hard, hating himself for wanting to cry. He was supposed to be over Blaine by now, not staring into wide vulnerable eyes that used to love kissing him.
"Are you just not into me?"
Blaine pauses and looks at him. "You're my closest friend."
That hurts. "...And?"
"And-And I don't know, Kurt. I've been thinking about it for a while now, but I just..."
"Are you breaking up with me?"
Blaine frowns, but Kurt can tell he was already broken up with Kurt in his mind months ago. He understands that this isn't easy for Blaine either, and he knows that he was planning on breaking up with Blaine too, but it hurts that it had to be this way. Kurt can't help but let his anger show through.
"...You know, when you stop liking someone, you're supposed to let them know and not drag them through a dead horse of a relationship. Why'd you do that? If you weren't feeling something, you're supposed to tell me!"
"I... I didn't know how! You're my first boyfriend, Kurt! You're going to be gone in the fall. I just wasn't feeling how I was last year. I-I don't know." Kurt can tell that Blaine's trying to say what he feels in a better way, but there's a reason that Hollywood has couples break up with practically the same dialogue in every film and TV show. "...I don't think I want to have a relationship right now. It's not like I like anyone else right now. Do you?"
Kurt's crying, angry that Blaine would keep all this in, feel like Kurt was the one forcing him to stay in something he didn't want to be in. Or maybe Kurt's just feeling a lot more guilty than he was prepared to.
"...Why is this about if I like someone else? This is about us, Blaine... If I wasn't making you happy, you should have toldme, not blown me off every chance you got. I wouldn't have started talking to someone else if I had felt like I was worth something to you..."
Blaine doesn't say anything for a few moments. "...I understand why you did. And I'm sorry, I know I should have told you how I felt. I guess I've been more of a stranger than I thought."
A stranger. Spencer is a stranger. Blaine is supposed to be... Or he was supposed to be someone Kurt knew very well. Stop crying. Don't cry. Green eyes. Think green eyes.
"...So we're not together anymore?" Kurt finally sighs out.
Blaine just stares at him. Kurt looks to see if Blaine looks the least bit doubtful. He seems sad, but Blaine looks like he's not about to regret his decision. He seems resigned to it already.
"No. I'm sorry."
Kurt has to look down. Looking at Blaine would just be torture.
Sighing, Blaine reaches across the table for his hand, and despite how he feels right now, Kurt takes it away. Blaine bites his lip. "...I'll see you in school? We can talk more about this later after you've had some time?"
Kurt can't decide if he's more angry at himself for caring now, or if he's upset that Blaine's not trying to keep them together. "Sure."
Blaine walks him to the door and they hug, but it's not because they both want to, but because they think they have to. Right now, Kurt doesn't care if he loses Blaine even as a friend. He knows he'll probably think differently in a few days, but he's just so mad right now. Why does this hurt so much?
Needing to caffeinate his dead insides, Kurt goes to the Lima Bean and gets his usual drink. He leans against the counter for a few minutes, sipping it, not wanting to go home in tears because Burt will most definitely ask why.
Of course, all bad nights must continue to be agonizing until there's nothing worse that could possibly happen.
Sebastian walks in at the moment Kurt's sipping his latte by the counter, first looking at Kurt with what a normal person would perceive as a blush, but Kurt knows better. A second later, the famous Smythe smirk appears, and Kurt knows he's done standing in the Lima Bean looking miserable. Sebastian will try to get with Blaine in a heart beat, and Kurt's not ready to see that happen. He doesn't feel like puking right now.
He starts heading towards the door, brushing past Sebastian, and says "not now," before the other boy even gets a chance to say anything. After a second thought, before he's exiting the shop, he looks back and he swears he sees Sebastian frowning while he's in line.
No, that can't be. Kurt's probably just so broken that he can't identify facial expressions properly. This day is awful. He leaves without apologizing for his rudeness.
After crying and contemplating not going to glee club for the rest of the year, he signs online to talk to the one person he can be at least a little honest with.
galaxyeyes315 (10:11pm): Hi.
violinstud (10:15pm):Hey.
Even though Spencer's not obligated to reply immediately or be enthusiastic, there still feels something wrong to Kurt. Spencer should be asking how the talk went, right? Maybe he's trying to be sensitive to Kory?
galaxyeyes315 (10:16pm): Are you okay?
violinstud (10:17pm):Yeah, sorry, I'm fine. Something happened tonight that's bothering me a little, but it's okay. Not much to say about it. How was your day?
Kurt tells him that he broke up with Blaine, or really, got broken up with. He doesn't tell him about any of the crying or the fact that it hasn't really hit him yet that he's single, but he says he's handling it okay when Spencer asks.
They don't get into any sexual conversation like they usually do, but Kurt's okay with that. His emotions are running high, but he's not even thinking anything, not even about Blaine. He just feels a little empty.
He goes to check Facebook, not intending to change his status until after school tomorrow. If Blaine tells Mike, that should be enough to have all of his friends in glee club slowly find out, but right now, Kurt doesn't want any late night calls of concern. He just wants to be left alone. Suddenly, Blaine Anderson went from being "in a relationship" to "single" shows up on his dashboard, and Kurt's mind starts buzzing with as many thoughts as he has strong emotions.
He needs a distraction.
galaxyeyes315 (11:05pm):Hey, so did you still want to meet?
...violinstud is typing...
violinstud (11:06pm): Of course. Are you sure you're ready though?
galaxyeyes315 (11:06pm): Yeah, I could use a distraction.
galaxyeyes315 (11:07pm): And you've always been great at switching subjects.
violinstud (11:08pm): Where'd you want to meet?
galaxyeyes315 (11:09pm): West Lima Mall still sound okay?
violinstud (11:10pm):Yeah, when?
Is this really a good idea right now? What if Spencer doesn't like him, and Kurt loses another person he cares about?
galaxyeyes315 (11:11pm): Saturday afternoon?
violinstud (11:12pm): Does four work?
galaxyeyes315 (11:12pm): Yeah, that works.
violinstud (11:13pm): Are you sure that now is a good time? You might hate me.
galaxyeyes315 (11:14pm): You keep saying that, but you're forgetting that you're the more shallow one of the two of us. I'm pretty sure you'd hate me before I'd hate you.
violinstud (11:15pm):Don't be so sure, galaxy.
Kurt's glad that he can at least still smile when Spencer calls him 'galaxy'. It'll be nice having the weekend to look forward to for a change.
galaxyeyes315 (11:16pm): Well, hey, let's talk more about where to meet later, if that's okay. I'm pretty tired, and I have a feeling that everyone's going to be bombarding me with break up questions tomorrow.
violinstud (11:16pm):Very true. Sorry it had to end that way, by the way. And sorry about calling him a shitty guy the other day too, I was just a little upset that you were upset hah.
Meeting Spencer will definitely not be a bad thing.
galaxyeyes315 (11:17pm): No need to apologize. Have a good night, Spencer. :)
violinstud (11:18pm): Sleep well, galaxy.
galaxyeyes315 (11:18pm):Thanks, you too.
You have disconnected [Thursday, March 15, 2012 11:19pm]
So, welcome to the land of reading my fic, where stories don't get updated for months!
I'm really sorry about that, you guys. Actually, writing this story made me realize I was unhappy in the relationship I was in, so after I broke up with my now ex, I had a few weeks there where I really didn't feel like writing all together. Also, I always forget that in summer I'm sometimes even busier than during the school year, so there's that, too.
I'm going to try to have the entire story down before the beginning of September, because that's when I start school, and after this story and another one I'm writing, I'll be taking a break from the Glee fandom (at least until something happens in the actual show and I MUST write an AU about it or something). So, we'll just shoot for the entire story being finished before September, yeah? Okay, cool.
Comments are appreciated! I'm sorry I haven't been replying to them, but just know that I love you all and it really does encourage me to write the chapters when I see that people actually want an update (because then I feel guilty). You guys are awesome! :)
