Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or RWBY.

Forced Perspective

4: Big Guns N' Roses


"No, don't do that...Don't go in there, lady...Don't do it..."

There was a loud scream and Naruto chuckled as he slipped a piece of popcorn in his mouth.

"Told her not to go in there," Naruto said with a smirk. The blue light of his Screen dimmed as the scene changed and illuminated the boxer clad blond while he lounged on his sofa. Naruto snickered at a crude joke made by the film's 'jock'.

"Oh, man, you are so dead." He mused with a smile. He shifted in his place and grimaced as a small jolt of pain went down his back. Twice I go out to do some good and twice I wind up spending the day on my sofa recovering. I sense a reoccurring theme here.

There was a knock at the door.

Must be either Mel or Miltia. No reason to fret. Naruto thought as he glanced at the door. He returned his attention back to the horror movie. "Door's unlocked, c'mon in."

Naruto tossed another small handful of popcorn into his mouth, chuckling as yet another dumb teen was taken out of the picture. He tilted his head and admired the free gratuitous nude shot while the door open and closed. A pill bottle was thrown at his head. Naruto yelped, sat up and put his hand to the assaulted area. While he rubbed his new injury, Naruto picked up the bottle of painkillers that fell to the floor.

"Ow, thanks for the snappy delivery, Mel..." Naruto said, glancing at the green-eyed girl with a smile. Melanie gave him a frown and he laughed sheepishly. "Yeah...er...I'll just, uh, take my pain meds now."

Naruto twisted the lid off of the bottle and plucked a few pills out before he popped them in his mouth. While he swallowed them down with a glass of soda, Melanie glanced at the screen. She grimaced when the teen jock was brutally hacked to death with graphic gore.

"Ugh, how can you watch these films?" Melanie asked, disgusted by what she saw.

"Seeing it in real life is worse." Naruto muttered as he set the bottle of pain pills on the side table, next to his drink coaster.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'll change it if it bothers you," Naruto said. He picked the remote up and switched the screen to the last channel he was on. A grin worked its way onto his face and he moved his popcorn bowl back to his lap. "Aw yeah, Ferris Buhler's Day Off. Love this movie."

"I heard that you were feeling ill, headache, fever, and a chill," a breathy woman's voice said on the screen."I came to help restore your pluck, because I'm the nurse that likes to–!"

Naruto pouted as Melanie quickly snatched the remote and switched back to the horror flick.

"Aw, c'mon, it was getting to the best part."

"You know, there are times when I wonder why you're still single and then I remember that you're so childish." Melanie muttered as she tossed the remote back to the blond and sat at the other end of the couch.

"...I'm seventeen, I'm allowed to still be childish." Naruto huffed. He crossed his arms. "And if I wanted to stop being single I'd put some real effort into it."

"You'd have to make some other girl friends first, Naruto." Melanie pointed out.

"I already did!"

"...That big boobed bimbo doesn't count."

"Oh come on, you guys were just doing your job and though she did technically assault Junior first, he's an asshole, so I guess it's okay. Besides, Yang seemed pretty nice." Naruto argued. "She didn't immediately call me weird or crazy once I explained what BIID was."

"She was too busy ogling your body." Melanie scowled.

"...Well, I can't say I didn't do the same to her..."

"You're disgusting." The green-eyed girl glowered at the teen. Naruto shrugged in return.

"What? I'm seventeen, guys my age think about girls at least forty percent of the day." Naruto waved his hand. "Like Fox never looked at-...Okay, bad example."

"You think?" Melanie asked dryly. While she didn't mind speaking of her twin's ex-boyfriend, she wasn't exactly fond of remembering why the two had parted in the first place. Identical twins were called identical for a reason, but Fox Alistair had been around both girls long enough to tell them apart in his own way. So, his attempt to kiss Melanie and then call it a mistake was not going to be forgotten any time soon.

"...Okay, so, you don't like Yang, fine. Though, that was one time you've been together in the same room. And I'm pretty sure you three all had some alcohol at one point or another that night." Naruto muttered. He drummed his fingers on the couch. "There's Blake..."

"Who?" Melanie asked sharply.

"...Right. You guys didn't meet her. You were both hung over and refused to go with me to the station. You left me to rot in the holding cell. Why are we friends?" Naruto asked.

"Whoa, hey, you said it before, we're bouncers first, your babysitters second." Melanie huffed with a frown. "You interfered with police business and assaulted someone! Again!"

"The charges were dropped!"

"This time!"

"...Semantics!"

"Ugh, if you're going to be an ass, I'm leaving!" Melanie huffed and stormed towards the door.

"Yeah-Wait, what?" Naruto asked. He blinked as Melanie slammed the door shut behind her. Silently, he went through the argument in his head, wondering where it was that he became the ass. A question that would haunt him and go unanswered for the rest of his life.

For now, Naruto just shrugged, accepted that he'd never understand the minds of women, and turned his attention back to the screen. Arms rested behind his head and he chuckled when the serial killer cut the head off of the nerdy teen.

"Man, the effects back in the day sucked...yet they're so amazing."


Black heels clacked as they strode across the sidewalk of Vale, the owner and wearer of the heels had her eyes set in a determined narrow. With the incident the night before now in the back of her mind, and all charges for damages dropped after footage from the city's police system backed her claims of falling under attack, Blake was a free woman. She was on a mission, set on finding the city's 'vigilante' as the detectives called him when interviewed by the press, the elusive Naruto Alistair.

How the hell can one guy with whisker marks on his face be so hard to find? Blake wondered as she frowned. She'd started this search as soon as she awoke, in a new room provided by the kind staff at the Stallion Inn, and for the past five hours, she'd been unable to make any headway. Her stomach rumbled lightly and she sighed.

Guess I should eat something. It's not like he's going to leave the city. Blake headed towards a small food stand that was called A Simple Wok. She was in the mood for noodles.

She sat down at the bar and placed her order with the elderly chef. While she sat and awaited her order, an approaching voice caught her attention.

"You're not seriously going to pick up your brother's spirits with a takeout order, are you?" A woman asked. From the corner of her eye, Blake glanced at the new customers.

The woman was young, around Blake's age, perhaps a bit older, and had fair skin. Her hair was dark brown, a long strand on the right side of her face was dyed with a gradient that lightened the hair to orange. She was dressed in what appeared to be the fall's finest fashion – not that Blake paid attention to the heavily biased, sex-selling business – a long sleeved cocoa shirt underneath a dark brown corset, the latter item matched her pants and heeled boots perfectly in color and volume. The shades of brown mixed well with her black gloves, scarf, belt and beret. Though, the bullets in her belt were a bit off-putting.

It's like she hopped out of an espresso cup. Blake thought with a hint of amusement. Her eyes then looked to the other customer, this one was a male that seemed familiar.

He was around the girl's age. The teenage boy had naturally bronze skin, short and uncontrolled copper hair. A vest that was zipped up completely covered his chest, it was a muted orange and had black lining. Black gloves protected his hands and an orange, pouched belt held up the black jeans that covered his legs. The jeans fell down over brown laced up shoes. A bit shadowy, but what really stood out about the boy were his white eyes and his scarred physique. His arms were littered in dark shallow lines, and what Blake assumed to be a vertical scar seemed to fall over the right side of his lip.

Based on the hint of orange she has and his mild mix of brown, their relaxed stances, and their proximity to each other, I'm going to guess they're either teammates, in a relationship, or both. Blake thought. Her eyes were torn away from the two as the chef walked back out with the modestly sized bowl that had noodles, broth and fish.

Blake tried not to drool, really she did, but some things were meant to be drooled over.

"Ah! Welcome back." The chef smiled at the copper haired teen. "The usual, Fox?"

The teen, Fox, shook his head. His companion crossed her arms over her chest and began to look over at the shops set up across the street. Blake suddenly got the impression that she had something against the delicious masterpieces of this chef. That or Blake was biased towards the wonderful food that she'd discovered.

"No? Hm, well, then how can I help you?" The chef asked. Fox held a piece of paper out and the chef took it. Squinted eyes scanned the paper in a heartbeat before a chuckle left his lips. "I see. Silly lad, your brother. Word on the street is he got arrested again."

Fox's hand clapped over his eyes and he let out a soft groan while the girl's attention snapped back to the chef. She looked at her companion and a thin brow lifted above her eye.

"I thought you said he was trying to be a Huntsman?" she asked. Fox dragged his hand down his face and Blake guessed that he turned to give her a dry stare or dirty look. The girl held her hands up in defense. "Hey, don't get all pissy with me, Fox. Your brother is the one that got arrested."

"That's just hearsay, though," the chef said. He folded the paper up and tucked it into his back pocket. "It may take some time, I have to get a new batch of noodles started for this order."

Fox nodded in understanding and sat down on a stool, content to wait as the chef disappeared into the kitchen. His friend sighed in dismay and slumped down on a stool beside him.

"And here I thought I'd be able to get some serious shopping done." The girl mumbled, her head propped up by her elbow. Fox gave her a gentle pat on the shoulder and she gave him a slightly dour look. "You told me we were going out to make him feel better. I thought that meant we'd be window shopping."

Fox's other hand began to make a few gestures. When it stopped, the girl huffed in affront.

"Why I never – I was not using this as an excuse to procrastinate writing my report and go shopping! You're my partner, Fox. If your brother is hurting, it's like my brother is – Okay, so I don't have a brother," she amended when Fox began to drum his fingers on the counter. She slid her sunglasses down and she gave a small glare to her teammate when he pointedly swiped his thumb along the side of his nose. "Oh, you're so buying me something for that sort of language, Alistair."

Fox let out a light snort and sat back with his arms crossed over his chest. Blake blinked and slurped up the rest of the lone noodle that was hanging out of her mouth. She set her chopsticks down and cleared her throat.

"Excuse me," she said, getting the teens' attentions. She was a bit rattled by the blank white eyes of Fox's, but didn't let it show. "Did you say 'Alistair'? You wouldn't happen to be related to Naruto Alistair, would you?"

"...I thought you said your ex-girlfriend and her twin had green eyes." The girl mumbled. She grunted lightly when Fox gave her a swift jab in the side with his elbow. "Er, yeah, we are. Why? Do you know him?"

"Yes, well, I've been trying to find him for a while. I, um, I was sort of responsible for him getting arrested," Blake said apologetically. She did feel bad that someone who was helping her out got punished for doing the right thing. The shiner may have added a bit of character, but it also made him look like a kicked kit–

Damn derailing train of thought, the Faunus scolded herself. Stay focused, Blake!

Fox's eyes were narrowed and he pointed at her suspiciously.

"Er, yeah, he helped me out of a bad situation." Blake hesitated for a moment before she lifted part of her ribbon to reveal one of her cat ears.

"Ohh...She's a Faunus." The girl nodded. Fox's narrowed eyes relaxed and, once more, he clapped his hands over them. The girl patted him on the shoulder. "Fox is blind, so he doesn't care about species. We've got a Faunus on our team. Cute thing, and probably my best friend."

The girl's hand extended over Fox's shoulder.

"Coco Adel, second year student of Beacon. Pleasure's all yours."

Fox snorted, which got him an elbow in the side of the head.

"I'm not the one with a dick, so it's impossible for me to be cocky." Coco huffed. She shook Blake's hand and then buffed her nails on her chest. "If anything, I'm arrogant."

Fox held his index and middle finger up separately before he brought them together.

"That is not the same thing." Coco gave him an irritated look and poked him in the side of the head. "Keep this up and you'll be buying all of my clothes today on top of carrying them."

Fox grimaced and crossed his arms over his chest again.

"That's what I thought," Coco said with a smirk. She returned her attention to Blake. "So, you've been looking for him to repay him for his kind deed? In what way?"

"I don't know, a favor? To talk? I've...never met a human who didn't care what species I was." Not to mention I want to know how the hell he was able to go toe-to-toe with Rook, Blake thought.

"A favor...? Like, say, deliver a piping hot meal to him?" Coco asked slyly. Fox turned his head and sharply 'glared' at his team leader. Even if he couldn't see and didn't speak, his facial expressions were revealed a lot of his feelings towards that insinuation.

Of course, Coco brushed it off and pushed her sunglasses back up over her eyes.

"...Well, it wasn't what I had in mind..." Blake mumbled. She didn't want to come off as 'stalker-ish' or someone suffering from a disturbing case of hero-worship. However, on the other hand, she would learn where he lived and could hopefully have a detailed conversation with him.

"...You've gotta admit, getting his favorite food from a cutie with a nice booty would be better than getting it from his brother and his brother's teammate." Coco smiled at Fox.

Fox hung his head and let out a soft sigh while Blake's cheeks burned bright red. Fox drummed his fingers on his bicep for a second before he nodded once. The action made Coco pump her fist in victory.

"Score! More shopping time!" She gave her teammate a loose hug from behind. "Thank you, Fox~!"

Fox let out a sound that was crossed between a grunt and a hum. He grabbed a napkin and pen from over the counter. An address was scribbled down and slid over to Blake, who took it just as the chef came out.

"Alright, it's finally all done." The elder grunted as he lifted a giant, steaming, covered pot onto the counter. There was a pretty decent bang as soon as the metal hit the wood. "Now, I don't need to tell you twice about how hot this gets and that to put it in the stove is the best way to keep it warm."

Fox waved him off and then pointed at Blake. He reached into his pocket and tossed a few lien cards on the counter before he stood up. Coco latched onto his arm before he could wave and dragged him away. Over her shoulder, she grinned at the bewildered Faunus.

"Thanks, Kitten! Give Fox's bro a nice spank on the butt for getting arrested for us!"

Blake faltered for words as her cheeks burned even brighter. The chef counted the lien and chuckled.

"Well, missy, if you didn't feel obligated to do it before, you should now." He said. "Fox paid for your meal, too."

With that, I'm sure that I've officially been labeled 'delivery girl' in their minds, Blake thought sourly. She sighed and lifted the pot off of the counter, only to gape at the weight.

"Holy cow, how much did you make?" she asked.

"Hm? Oh, that's about sixty servings. Hurry up and get it over to the boy's place. I've never given him cold ramen before, and I refuse to do so after a decade of loyalty," the chef said sternly. Seeing the mild annoyance in Blake's eyes, he added. "Oh, and do it with enough time, I'll take the next three bowls off of any tab you wish to start here."

Blake was gone before he finished his sentence.


This is stupid. Naruto, you're stupid. S-T-U-P-I-D. Naruto thought to himself as he traversed rooftops until he found the gargoyle that he'd named Murdock once more. Why was he out, dressed up like it was All Grimm's Eve and running around on rooftops in the middle of the night when, in past experience, all that happens is he gets his ass beat and his aura reserves fail to fully recover. Really, he needed to take a day off. Or fall into a coma.

Damn thrill-seeking hardheaded stupidity, Naruto thought as he plopped down on Murdock's left side. Fox was right, I am eventually going to get myself killed.

"Murdock, looking gloomy as ever." He said as he pulled off his mask and set it beside him. He looked over the nightlife below. "Vale is far more lively than the past few nights, probably because the kids are all gathering before they go to Beacon. If I were a normal teen, think I'd be down there too? Living it up? Getting wasted...Possibly getting laid...Ugh." Naruto leaned against the gargoyle. "Being a virgin sucks, right, Murdock?"

The gargoyle did not answer.

"I mean, if I get onto a team, then once they find out, I could get ragged on..." Naruto grumbled. He already got enough shit from Junior and his lackies for hire. He was so done with being the butt of someone's joke. Naruto growled in frustration and raked his hands through his hair.

"Gah, what I wouldn't give to have something to vent on." Naruto grumbled. There was a crash of glass that echoed in the air and Naruto turned towards it. A grin spread across his face. "Murdock, I think you're my lucky charm." He mumbled as he got to his feet. The blond pulled his mask back on before he patted Murdock on the head. "Catch ya later. I've got some physical therapy to deal with."

Naruto traversed the rooftops until he stood over the intersection of Rooster Avenue and Teeth Street. Below him was the popular dust shop From Dust 'Til Dawn, owned and managed by the twin brother to Naruto's favorite chef. The window was busted open from the inside. He saw a familiar mix of red, black and white clothes on a man laying on the ground.

Naruto's eyes narrowed. That was one of Junior's grunts. Then he saw the white coated, cane-wielding criminal that was most wanted in Vale. Theft, trafficking (Human, Faunus and drug), drugs of all sorts...pretty much everything short of murder, Roman Torchwick was your man.

"Oh, damn...Junior, what did you get yourself into?" Naruto asked himself as Roman poked the grunt. He blinked as a red blur shot out over Roman's head and landed a good distance away. The blur stood upright and was revealed to be a young girl, with moonlight pale skin. From where he was, Naruto could faintly make out her black and red clothes, the former color acted as the primary scheme of her attire and her red cloak complimented it.

Not to mention the giant ass scythe that rested on her shoulder.

Talk about compensation. Naruto thought with a small smirk of amusement.

"...Well, talk about big surprises coming in small packages," Roman said with a chuckle. The end of his cane rested between his feet, while he held it in both hands. "Hello, Red, aren't you out past your bedtime?"

"My bedtime isn't for another few hours." The girl huffed and her cheeks puffed in outrage. "And I'm not the one breaking the law."

"Well, aren't you just adorable?" Roman chuckled again and then tapped his cane. "Boys, deal with her."

And cue entrance. Naruto thought as the grunts lifted automatic weapons at the young huntress-in-training. He stepped over the ledge and dropped to the ground, his speed diminished by his extensive use of his semblance to create a sort of cushion beneath his feet. As an added bonus, he landed on the back of one of Roman's hired goons, knocking one out in a single blow. Swift, firm, and ruthless strikes from his batons landed on another nearby grunt. He felt both Roman and the girl stare at him as he dealt a final blow across the face of his current 'stress dummy'.

"...Okay, one's taken out by a little girl and the other is taken out by a masked animal." Roman scowled and glared at the other goons. "Junior owes me money..."

"He doesn't offer refunds." Naruto informed the criminal. He raised his batons defensively. "So, question, what's a big time thief like you doing stealing dust?"

"Oh, I like you, beast. You've got spunk. Boys," Roman said to his remaining grunts. "Deal with little Red there while I put this animal down, will you?"

The grunts nodded and rushed at the red-hooded girl while Roman gave Naruto his full attention.

"Wow, all those boys on that one girl and all I get is you? I can see who you're your more worried about. Racist."

"Never said I was a role model, Mongrel," Roman said with a sneer. He pointed at Naruto with his cane and the end flipped up to reveal a reticule. "And yeah, I'm not that worried about you."

A concealed trigger was pulled and a large pink-orange flare fired from Roman's cane. Naruto, of course, countered with his right baton's smaller, but more orange, flare. The two blasts collided and smoke filled the street.

Naruto moved under the cover of the blast. He had his eyes closed behind his mask and utilized his semblance to magnify all disturbances in the air by sound or motion. He turned in the smoke with both batons brought over his left shoulder, before he swung at his target. Roman's cane blocked the strike and he swiveled his cigar from one side of his mouth to the other. The force of the weapon's collision made the smoke disperse immediately.

"You stole my shtick," the thief said with a glare. He'd been using a flare weapon for the past ten years, notoriously the only one to do so, and if Roman was one thing, he was extremely prideful. Seeing some do-gooder using his signature projectile really ruffled his feathers, so to speak.

"'If one steals from a thief, is it still stealing?'" Naruto returned philosophically. Roman's cigar swiveled back to the left corner of his mouth as his eyes narrowed and the corner of Naruto's mouth slightly pulled up into a smirk.

"Grimm are beasts, emotionless, driven by instinct. Humans and Faunus, however, are easy to agitate and manipulate. Lesson number twelve: To control a fight, you must control your opponent." Stick's words echoed in Naruto's head once more.

Roman pulled his cane back and went for a swipe. He wasn't furious, not yet, but he was ruffled. The fact he made the first move didn't escape Naruto's mind. It proved that Roman wanted to end this quickly, which meant either Naruto started to get on his nerves or he was on a time limit.

The masked teen believed it to be a blend of the two.

Naruto ducked under the swipe and countered with a swing of his own. Roman surprised him with impressive reflexes, the cane twisted in his hand and stopped the baton from making contact. A loud gunshot rang out and Naruto pushed himself away from Roman, a grimace on the teen's face.

Fifty-caliber, heavy, loud. Long barrel. Sniper. Small scope, heavy barrel and chamber. Close. Where? Where? These thoughts raced through the teen's mind as he grabbed his head. Another gunshot made him fall to his knees. Faintly, he could feel Roman's surprised gaze on him and he heard a chuckle.

"Oh, did someone's enhanced senses backfire on them?" Roman asked. Naruto tried to push himself back to his feet, to show he wasn't as disoriented as he felt, but another, closer, louder gunshot made him drop to his hands and knees. His inner ear didn't take too kindly to the constant vibrations and his stomach churned sickly. Naruto cut off his semblance and opened his eyes. The lenses were one sided, allowing him to see out when the time called for it.

The girl in red, her scythe. Naruto watched her use the kinetic force of her weapon's recoil to dodge the grunts' attacks and propel her from one spot to the next. That was...actually extremely clever. Ingenious, even. She was taking advantage of her small stature with a weapon that looked oversized for her. He'd have to ask her where she came up with that idea, it sounded like something that Stick would come up with.

Well, him or one of his many pupils.

Naruto watched from his spot on the ground as the girl tore through her opposition. The last grunt fell after a devastating blow to the gut. The girl frowned in Naruto's direction when she saw where he was and then turned her attention to Roman.

Who was currently running away.

"Stay there, I'll be right back!" The girl called to Naruto, who blanched. He could hear sirens approaching.

Yeah, stay here and wait outside the dust shop with unconscious thugs and the approaching police? Sorry, Little Red, but it's not happening tonight. Naruto pushed himself to his feet and ran the opposite way. He ducked into a nearby alley and scoured the fire escape.

He was completely unaware of the two sets of eyes that watched him.


Of the two sets, one was green and the other was brown, the former a tall blonde woman and the latter a silver-haired man with a cane in his hand. Green-eyes looked over to Brown-eyes, who merely lifted the mug in his hand to his lips. Green-eyes scoffed and then jumped down to pursue the red-hooded girl and Roman, leaving Brown-eyes where he stood on the rooftop.

So that is the younger Alistair. Hm...He would make a good addition to the Circle, Stick. Brown-eyes mused. But while I agree, I still have to convince James and Qrow. And then there's Qrow's niece...One step at a time, Ozpin. One step at a time.


Naruto once more scoured his apartment building's fire escape, quickly and silently. He arrived at the window outside of his suite and used the trick-latch he'd installed to slip in. The second he set his feet inside the apartment, something felt off.

Those fifty-calibers must still be messing with me. Naruto thought as he pulled his mask off and tossed it to the couch.

Instead of hearing the soft crinkle of fabric that would be disrupted by his mask's landing, he heard a solid thump as something intercepted the mask in its descent. Naruto stiffened in place. He quickly drew his right baton, twisted the handle and pointed the loaded barrel at the intruder.

Golden-amber eyes remained cool, calm, and collected despite the barrel in her face. Black cat-like ears twitched at the ambient sounds of the apartment complex. The subtle cock of a small handgun made Naruto's ear twitch, and sure enough, the Faunus' weapon was in her hand and pointed at his stomach, perhaps his heart.

"If this is how you treat guests, I'd hate to see how you'd treat a burglar."

"...I need to get better locks on my door."


AN: Yeah, Ozpin's recruiting. Bet ya didn't see that coming, did ya?

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