Fluff alert...

Disclaimer: I do not own anything, all characters belong to Julian Fellowes...


Vera left for London the next morning. She didn't put up much of a fight, only cementing John's belief that her heart was never really in the marriage, if it was still in doubt. Now he was left with an empty space in his life and a three bedroom house which was far too big for one person.

She had barely been gone a week when Vera was in contact requesting the house be sold so she could have her half of the proceeds. This request was also accompanied by divorce papers, it seemingly obvious his wife had resumed where she had left off with one of her 'lovers.'

John knew it was for the best. Yet, this was the first time he had been alone in over twenty years. He wasn't handling it very well, the temptation of the alcohol Vera had left around the house proving too much. He couldn't put his finger on why it was bothering him so much, she didn't love him and deep down he knew he had never loved her. One thing was for sure, drinking wasn't the answer. He made a conscious decision to throw it all out before making his way over to Anna's bar to take his mind off the situation. As soon as he arrived, Anna made a beeline for him, explaining Ethel had taken over her shift and asking him if he would join her, Sophie and Emily for some dinner.

'You look sad,' Emily commenting, colouring in her colouring book as Sophie and Anna shared an awkward glance.

'How can I be sad when you're here, Emily,' John smiled, watching as she coloured.

'Would you like to come back to my house when we have had some tea?' Emily asked, not looking up from her book. Anna shot a worried glance at John, fearing her little daughter may have overstepped the mark. 'We can watch a Disney film.'

'You don't have to,' Anna interrupted, glaring at her daughter before looking at John.

'How can I refuse an offer like that?' John replied, looking at Anna. 'If it's okay with you.'

'Of course it is,' Anna smiled.

'Hello, hello.' They all looked up to see Robert standing beside them. 'How are we all?'

'Surviving,' John said.

'Good.' Robert nodded, looking at the females around the table before looking back at John. 'Can I have a word with you?'

'Sure,' John replied. 'Excuse me ladies.' He followed Robert to the bar, worrying what the discussion may entail. He hadn't been at his best at work recently, he knew that.

'John, I was just wondering how selling the house was coming along,' Robert began, continuing to behind the bar to pull himself a pint.

'Not bad,' John replied, wondering where the conversation would lead to although relieved it wasn't about his performance at work. 'I've had one offer and another couple are looking around tomorrow. I'm a bit reluctant to sell until I've found somewhere though. Why?'

'Well, you know the flat above this place is still empty,' Robert began. 'I've been looking for a tenant for ages. It's yours if you want to use it, until you find somewhere more permanent.'

'Thanks Robert,' John answered.

'I'm worried about you mate, that's all. I know Vera going has knocked you for six. So if there is anything I can do to help, just ask. '

'Thanks mate,' John smiled. Suddenly, John felt someone tugging at his shirt sleeve. Looking down, he saw Emily.

'Dinner's here, John,' Emily said happily before skipping back to the table.

'Looks like you've made quite an impression on someone,' Robert laughed, watching Emily as she rejoined her mother and Aunty.

'She's a lovely little girl,' John replied.

'And you get on well with Anna as well, don't you?' Robert commented before taking a sip of his drink.

'Meaning?' John asked, smirking slightly as his friends observation.

'Nothing, just that we've all noticed it.' Robert shrugged.

'Noticed what?'

'Nothing,' Robert held his hands up in his defence. 'You best go and eat your dinner.'

'No, noticed what?' John pressed.

'Well, you do seem to enjoy each others company.' Robert continued.

'It's easy to get on with Anna, wouldn't you say?' John asked.

'Oh, I agree wholeheartedly.' Robert nodded. 'And it helps that she's drop dead gorgeous as well.'

'Robert,' John exclaimed. 'I like Anna, but just as a friend. That is all.'

'Alright, calm down John.' Robert said, laughing softly as his friends protests and not buying them for a second. 'You best get over there before mini Anna comes over again.'

John shook his head and turned on his heel. True, they did get on very well. Anna had been so helpful since he had started. And she was very attractive. Too attractive to be interested in a man like him.


As it was her house, John allowed Emily to pick the film they watched. He was more than happy with her choice, The Lion King, but requested next time he visit they watch his favourite, Robin Hood. Whilst he and Emily watched the film, Sophie having to leave after being called into work at the last minute, Anna went about the house she and her daughter shared doing some housework. She chuckled to herself as she listened to the conversation they shared.

'John, do you have a best friend, like Timon has Pumbaa?' Emily asked, gently snuggled up against John on the sofa.

'Well, I have Robert. He's been a good friend. Why?' John asked, eyes still fixed firmly on the screen.

'Well, you're my bestest friend,' Emily announced, causing Anna to almost laugh out loud as she dusted the top of the Hifi.

'Emily, you have no idea how honoured that makes me,' John replied, looking over at Anna struggling to stifle her laughter. 'It's a pleasure to be the Timon to your Pumbaa.'

'What?' Emily asked, confused.

'John, I would have had you down as Pumbaa, actually,' Anna chipped in, turning her attentions to dusting the bookshelf.

'Thanks,' John laughed.

'It finishes soon,' Emily said sadly. 'Can we watch another one?'

'No sweetheart, it will be time for bed once this is finished.' Anna informed her daughter as she straightened up a photo on the wall.

'But Mum...'

'Emily Smith, it is bedtime once the film finishes, no arguments.' Anna said sternly, pointing at her daughter to emphasise her point.

Emily turned her attentions to the man sitting beside her. 'John..'

'Oh no, I'm not getting involved,' John shook his head. 'What Mummy says, goes.'

Emily seemed to accept this, as she settled down to watch the rest of the film. Anna finished her jobs and sat in the armchair next to them, watching as John and Emily continued to discuss the film. She noticed how beautiful John's smile was, how his eyes seemed to dance when Emily made him laugh. The way he brushed the stray strands of hair that fell onto his forehead back into place leaving her transfixed.

The patience he showed with her daughter was something new to her. She and John weren't dating, however most of the men she had seen in the past were quick to dismiss Emily, wanting to spend time alone with Anna. John seemed to enjoy not only her company, but her daughters as well. This endeared him to Anna, if she were to embark on a new relationship, Emily would need to be accepted too. Making herself believe this was the reason she was having these thoughts about John, that he got on with her daughter, she still found herself staring at him. And becoming more attracted to him with each moment that passed.

As the film finished, John had noticed Emily had stopped talking. Looking down, he saw her fast asleep, resting on his arm.

'She's gone,' John laughed, looking over at Anna.

'Wow, bedtime is a taboo subject in this house,' Anna explained, walking over to where Emily was sleeping. 'We usually have a battle that lasts for an hour at least.'

'Would you like me to carry her up?' John offered.

'Erm, okay,' Anna said reluctantly. 'If it's okay with you?'

John nodded, gently lifting Emily over into his arms without her waking up. 'Would you like to lead the way?'

Following Anna upstairs, John needn't have asked which room belonged to the little girl in his arms as they reached a bright pink door. Anna opened the door carefully, revealing a very pink bedroom.

'Don't tell me, her favourite colour is blue?' John joked, following Anna to Emily's bed. Anna peeled back the covers, allowing John to lay her down.

Stepping back, John allowed Anna some space to settle her now stirring daughter, walking out of the room and back downstairs. Standing by the front door, he looked up the stairs as Anna made her way to join him.

'I'll get going, shall I?' John asked, reaching for his coat from one of the pegs by the door.

'You don't have too, you can stay for a coffee.' Anna suggested before her forthrightness made her fluster. 'I mean.. if you want to. That is.'

'I'd like that,' John smiled.

Once in the kitchen, John sat at the table in silence as he watched Anna fumble her way through making two cups of coffee. Placing a mug down in front of him, Anna sat opposite him and smiled coyly. 'Thanks for tonight.'

'It was my pleasure,' John replied before taking a sip of his drink.

'I know she can be pretty full on...'

'Don't make excuses for her. She's a wonderful girl,' John interrupted. 'You've done a fantastic job with her, considering you've done it all on your own. You should be very proud.'

Anna stared at John for a moment then, the words coming from his mouth so genuine and sincere. It had always been just her and Emily, she was solely responsible for her upbringing. To hear someone else speak so highly of the job she had done was so satisfying.

'I don't know what I'd do without her,' Anna replied, stirring her coffee. 'She's only four but she is my rock. And my boss.'

They both started laughing before John began to speak again. 'I can see that you both adore each other,' John smiled. 'It's wonderful to see.'

'Thank you,' Anna said before looking up at him. 'John, how are you coping? Really?' He shuffled in his seat uncomfortably before taking another sip of his coffee. 'Tonight is the first time I have seen you laugh in ages.'

John inhaled deeply as he consider his response. Looking beyond Anna, he heard himself reveal what he had kept inside for the past few weeks.

'I don't miss Vera herself although we had been together since we were teenagers. It's having the other person there I miss. What I experienced in the war, the things I saw, you never forget that,' John explained before meeting Anna's gaze. 'I don't like being alone. I know it's for the best that Vera left me, the marriage had died a long time ago. It seemed having her there for someone to argue with was better than having no one there at all.'

'Did you ever love her?' Anna asked before instantly realising it wasn't really her place to ask as John shifted uncomfortably again. She rubbed her forehead. 'Sorry, now you see where Emily gets her motor mouth from.'

'No, it's fine.' John replied. 'I can honestly say I never loved her. She is the only woman I have ever been with.' John laughed softly to himself before looking up at Anna. 'That's quite sad, isn't it? 46 and I've never been in love.'

'People fall in love too quickly if you ask me.' Anna replied. 'Or think they do.'

John locked his gaze on Anna's. 'Well, I hope I experience what it's like to be in love. One day.'

'Me too,' Anna agreed, staring back at him.

'You didn't love Emily's Dad?' John asked before Anna's gaze left his. 'Come on, you asked me. Now it's your turn.'

'Fair enough,' Anna chuckled. 'I thought I did. He was the first man to treat me with an ounce of respect. My Dad left me, Mum and Sophie when I was sixteen. I hit the rails, fell in with the wrong crowd. I had boyfriend after boyfriend, I needed to feel loved. So I let these boys have what they wanted. Then I met Emily's Dad, Pete, and he was a real gentleman.'

'How much older was he?' John asked.

'I was twenty one when I met him, he was thirty.' Anna explained. 'Mum adored him. I should be grateful to him in a way, God knows where I would have ended up had I not met him.'

'What happened?' John asked, leaning forward on the table.

'We dated for eight years, I wanted to get married, he was always reluctant to. Then I fell pregnant with Emily and it all came out in the open.'

'What did?' John enquired. Anna looked up at him and went to speak before stopping herself. It was obvious this was still very painful for her, and the last thing John wanted to do was cause her any pain. He sat back in his chair. 'You don't have to tell me, it's none of my business.'

'No no,' Anna breathed. 'I want to tell you. Turns out my darling Peter was already a Daddy. And a husband.'

'What?' John gasped. 'And you had no idea?'

'He used to work away a lot.' Anna replied. 'Or so I thought.'

'I'm sorry,' John sympathised, reaching across the table to stroke her hand.

'It's alright,' Anna sighed, looking at John's hand on hers. 'I wouldn't have Emily and she is worth all the pain and suffering he caused.'

'Of course she is,' John smiled before looking at his watch then downing the rest of his coffee. 'I should leave you to it. You're on the early shift tomorrow.'

'So I am, ' Anna replied, standing up. 'I'll walk you to the door.'

Once there, John turned to face Anna. 'I had a great time tonight, Anna.'

'Me too, and so did Emily. You're stuck with her now you are her bestest friend.' Anna laughed. 'At least I can trust you not to lead her astray.'

'You don't know me very well, do you?' John joked before placing a hand on the door handle behind him. 'Well, good night.'

'Night,' Anna replied weakly, not wanting him to leave.

Before he knew where he was, John felt himself move closer to Anna as their gaze never left the other. Moving his lips closer to hers, he closed his eyes as a small voice came from upstairs. Immediately pulling away, he looked up to see Emily standing at the top of the stairs.

'Mummy, I had a nightmare,' she said, still half asleep, clutching on to a teddy bear.

Anna had her eyes firmly closed, her breathing heavy, as was John's. Looking over her shoulder at her daughter, she composed herself before responding. 'Alright sweetie, go back to bed and Mummy will be there in just a second.' Emily rubbed her eyes before disappearing back to her bedroom. Anna turned her attentions back to John.

'I'll see you at work tomorrow,' John said, opening the front door. 'Night Anna.'

'Night John.'

As he left, Anna stared at the door, into the space where John had been standing. The way she was feeling leaving her confused. She was fond of John, that much was certain. But the emotion she felt as they stood opposite each other just then was undeniably desire. She had wanted him to kiss her. Now he was gone, she felt empty.

John stopped at the bottom of Anna's garden path, fiddling with his car keys. Sighing outwardly, he looked over his shoulder at her front door. If Emily hadn't have interrupted, he would have kissed Anna. He couldn't ignore that fact, even if he tried. And he didn't want to. They both seemed to share a connection, he found it so easy to talk to her, she made him feel things he hadn't before. Listening to his heart, he turned on his heel and walked back up the path. Knocking lightly on the door, he was surprised when it opened almost immediately. Feeling the tension between them, John tried to ease it by raising a hand to her cheek. Gently stroking her face, he thought carefully about what he wanted to say before speaking.

'I don't know if anything is going to happen between us. I can't promise you anything, but all I know is right this second I want to kiss you.' He breathed deeply before moving closer to her. 'I need to kiss you.'

Anna didn't have a chance to respond before he pressed his lips on hers. The kiss was gentle, neither sure how it would make them feel. John moved away briefly, not wanting to push Anna too far before she resumed contact, this time the kiss becoming deeper. Reluctantly, John broke the contact between them, eyes firmly shut as he did so, gripping tightly onto Anna's hands. Sighing deeply, he opened his eyes and looked at her.

'There, now I'll be able to sleep.' John whispered as Anna straightened out his collar that had become scuffled during their embrace before he rested his forehead on hers.

'Mummy,' Emily called again causing John and Anna to laugh softly.

'I better go,' Anna said.

'See you tomorrow,' John replied, kissing her on the cheek before breaking contact and taking a few steps backwards down the path, looking at Anna as he did so. 'Good night.' With a subtle wink, he turned and walked towards his car.

'Night,' Anna called after him.

Looking back over his shoulder, he gave her a smile that took her breath away before Anna walked back inside and closed the door.