AN: Aight, here's the last chapter I'm going to add for the year 2004… Damn is it ever going to be weird to write out things with the year 2005… Just so long as I don't screw up on checks, eh? LoL Newhoz… This is my new chappie I got of this… Well, not really. Have had this chapter written out for weeks. Just now postin' it s'all… :p But, hope y'all like it! Plz! Review! Will love you forever!! Hahaha L8rz!

Disclaimer: You know the drill!

Just so everyone knows as the chapters start goin'

"… Talking…"

'… Thinking…'

"… Links…" (You'll find out about this more in later chapters… From what I can tell, not till chapter 13 or so…)

Anything else y'all need to know is in chapters 1 & 2… Enjoy!


Ut Necto: From the Beginning – Part Three

Later that day, after the morning seemed to pass by with ease, Solamae found herself wondering around the woods of Snape Manor; the woods of the area was chilled slightly of the shadows as the wind breezed through the branches of the trees. She held her cloak loosely around her body as she fought away the cooled air. When she managed to find a small clearing near the edge of the manor's estates, she took a seat against one of the trees; once again wrapping her cloak around her legs to keep out the cold.

'Why is it so bloody cold, anyway?' she asked herself quietly as she sat there, just staring at the scenery in front of her. Sighing, she reached her hand into her pocket to reveal a pack of cigarettes her uncle had given her and took one out; lighting it as she placed it on her lips.

As she just sat there, she leaned her head back against the bark of the tree. She sighed as she closed her eyes, memories of last night flashed across her eyes. 'Why did I tell him all of that anyway?' She asked herself once again, her body relaxing as she listened to the sounds of the woods surrounding her. It wasn't until she heard footsteps did she snap out of her reverie and turn her eyes towards the silent intruder. She smirked as she saw who it was and took another hit off her cigarette.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who decided to get some fresh air, huh?" she asked her company as he stood beside her.

"Actually, I was told to come fine you," replied Harry as he decided to sit next to her and take her pack.

"Hmm, figures. Uncle Sev looking for me, is he?" She side glanced at him and nearly smiled as she saw Harry light a cigarette for himself.

"When isn't he?"

"Good point. What made you look out here, though?"

"Well, you weren't anywhere else in the house, so I figured you'd be out and about on the grounds somewhere. When I still couldn't find you anywhere plausibly visible, the only place left was the woods. I've been out here for a good fifteen, maybe twenty minutes trying to find you."

"Well, today seems to be your lucky day, huh?"

Harry only snorted as he took another puff from his cigarette, his eyes looking straight ahead. Solamae watched him for a moment, not sure what to really say to him as he just sat there next to her.

"Can I ask you something, Harry?"

Harry looked at her. "Sure."

"What do we do now? I mean, not to make it sound cliché and all… But, I'm just curious."

Harry offered her a small smile as he turned his full attention towards her. "I'm not too sure myself. Especially when one minute we're trying to tear each other's necks open, then the next trying to comfort one another." Harry looked down at his burning cigarette before taking another hit. "It's kinda strange if you ask me."

"Why's that?"

Harry shrugged. "Not used to it, I guess. I mean, my aunt, uncle, and cousin were always cruel to me. Well, mainly my uncle and cousin. Neither ever showed any affection, even when I was small… I think it's because I scared them."

"How?"

Harry looked at her and smirked. "Magic." Harry snorted at his own pun and looked up through the trees. "They thought that I would somehow hurt them with it, I think. And it scared the shit out of them that they couldn't do anything to stop me from actually attempting it… They went as far as 'attempting to beat the magic out'. And it angered them to no extent that they never accomplished that."

Solamae looked at him with saddened eyes. 'How could they be so cruel like that…'

"Every day I would get at least one beating since I was about eight years old from my uncle," Harry continued, without even realizing what he was revealing. "At first they were just hard enough to leave a light bruise. They only became rather horrible after I got my first Hogwarts letter… They thought that I had told someone in the wizarding world of what was going on in and around their home.

"That night, I think I came out with a bruised rib or two and a few gashes here or there that left permanent scaring across my skin… And I would laugh every time I would get one. My uncle thought I was mad, and it only served me more and worse beatings than I've ever gotten…" Harry smirked as he looked back down at his now dead cigarette. "Even now, when I look back on it all, I still laugh. I've never figured out why, though. Maybe because I really am going mad or maybe it's because of something else…" Harry looked back at Solamae. "But not once have I ever cried. I refused to do that. Ever. I didn't want my uncle to know he could get the better of me and have me break down."

Harry looked back in front of him. "Then I finally was able to leave. I got to Hogwarts and I thought everything was looking up; and that I would finally be able to live a part of my life where I wouldn't have to worry about someone beating on me constantly for the things I haven't even down… Hell, even Malfoy wasn't half bad when I compared him to my supposed 'family'… I even have him to thank for me not being sent to live in Slytherin house."

"How's that?" asked Solamae, her questioning eyes watching him the whole time.

"Long story short… He put down the first people who ever befriended me for just being me and weren't afraid of what I was. It angered me so much whenever he did that… So I asked the hat to send me anywhere but Slytherin. And I was sent to Gryffindor. As the muggle saying goes… I was the happiest little camper after that… Even with all the bull shit Malfoy pulled on us. It was better than being stuck with the family I lived with, so I put up with it the best I could without attempting to actually kill him."

Solamae smirked, which slowly faded as she recalled how the conversation had begun. "How come you were still sent back to your aunt and uncle's if it was so bad?"

Harry shrugged. "I'm not too sure. I'm told that I'm protected better there because of my aunt… But I'm never sure if I should really believe it or not. Not with the way I'm treated there."

Solamae nodded. "I don't mean to pry, but… did your uncle continue to beat on you?"

Harry snorted. "Constantly. The more I stayed with them, the more I could be beat. Hell, this summer alone, I've received more than my body could hardly endure."

"Then why did you stay?"

Harry was silent for a moment, his eyes clenched shut. "Because I had no where to go… I couldn't go to the Weasley's. They can barely manage the house full they have as it is. I wouldn't dare add to their burdens. None of the professors could possibly take me in with all they have to do for the school… And besides, Dumbledore wouldn't allow it. I had to stay with the Dursley's, no matter what they did to me."

"Didn't Dumbledore know what they did to you?"

"I don't think so. Everything I ever told him was a lie to keep my relatives happy and not killing me. I had it bad enough; I didn't want to make matters worse by letting anything slip."

"That's understandable…" Solamae moved closer to him, wrapping one arm around his shoulder as her other hand reached over to grab his. They were silent for a moment, Solamae trying to piece together all she had heard. It wasn't until she felt a cool drop on her hand did she look at Harry's face and see a few tears slowly begin to fall. "Harry…?"

"… It still hurts, Fea…" he began to whisper. "Everyday I remember what I had to go through and I remember all the pain I felt… I don't know how I survived as long as I did back there when all I ever wanted to do was die… I would've given anything to have my uncle just kill me so I could get it all over with and not have to worry what might come next…" Harry looked up at Solamae, his tears falling one by one from his emerald eyes. "It still hurts so much. I don't know how to make the pain go away, Fea… I don't know what to do…"

The last sentence broke Solamae's heart, as though she herself was feeling what he was. "Oh Harry…" Solamae wrapped both her arms around Harry, laying Harry's head down on her shoulder. "I don't know what to say, Harry, except that I'm so sorry. No one should have to go through that. Least of all you… I know it hurts, Harry. More than you think you can handle. But I promise you, Harry, you don't ever have to go through that again. Even if I have to tear Dumbledore limb from limb to make him agree… I'll always be here for you, Harry. Even if I wasn't there in the beginning, I am now. And I'm never going to leave you alone like you were again. I promise you that, Harry. No matter what, I'm always here."

Harry nodded his head as his tears began to cease. When Solamae decided his tears had slowed enough, she tossed both their dead cigarettes and stood with Harry, her arms still wrapped around him slightly as she guided him away and back to the manor. When they got inside, Solamae managed to convince Harry to get some sleep.

She led him to his room, leaving him to lie down on his bed. Just as she was leaving his room and close the door behind her, she heard Harry whisper a soft "thank you". When she turned to look at him, she smiled sadly as she noticed he had fallen sleep. But just as she closed the door, she leaned up against and slid down till she was sitting just in front of his doorway. 'How could they possibly do that to him…?' Solamae snorted and closed her eyes tightly. 'And here I thought Dumbledore cared. You think he'd at least check up on him… But no. He's just as bad as them…'

It wasn't until she saw her uncle walk down the hall towards her did she bother to stop her thoughts of what was done to Harry. She looked up at him as he stood over her. "How could he send Harry back to them?" she whispered to him.

Her uncle only shook his head as his reply. "Come on, let's leave Potter alone and have something to drink. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to have to wake up hearing us talk."

Solamae nodded her head and stood, following her uncle downstairs and into, what she liked to call, the parlor. Snape offered her a drink as they talked over what Solamae had learned about Harry. "But I don't get it, Uncle Sev. Why would Dumbledore send Harry back there if all his relatives did was beat on him?" Snape opened his mouth to protest for Dumbledore, but quickly shut it as Solamae continued to talk. "Don't even try to fend for him, uncle, when you know as well as I do that he probably knew of what was happening."

"And I'm not denying it. But Dumbledore does have his reasons for these things."

"For what? So Harry thinks that all he has to count on is Dumbledore himself? It just doesn't make sense. He should've let Harry stay at Hogwarts, or even here with you at the beginning of summer. Not back to them. He must've seen what they did to him every time he went to live at the Weasley's after his birthday or something. I'm sure someone there would've noticed and told someone."

"Not really, Fea. You have to realize that even though he is not permitted to use magic outside of Hogwarts, he is still able to somehow use a concealment charm and have no one even seem to notice it. And say for example someone did see what the Dursley's had done to him, I'm sure no one would tell. Especially the youngest male of the bunch. He and Potter are too close of friends. He wouldn't tell a soul if Potter didn't want him to."

"But why?"

"I'm not too sure. I think it's basically because he doesn't want people to fret over him when he thinks that he somehow deserves it or that people might think him weak. He has too many things hanging over his head as it is. I don't think he wants to add to that list."

Solamae nodded and took a sip of her drink. "Uncle Sev, do you think he has a concealment charm on now?"

"Most likely. But by now, most of whatever the Dursley's have done to him have healed."

"Hmm… He shouldn't hide like that."

"That's your opinion. You must remember who Potter really is. He's nothing but a poor lost kid who doesn't even know where to go. He depends on everyone to help him, but doesn't even ask when he needs it until it's too late. He prefers to keep it to himself so, like I said, he doesn't have anymore hanging over his head as it is. He's grown up too fast and he doesn't even realize it." Snape sighed and looked up at the time. "Look, I have to get back to my lab and check over the potion. I don't need it boiling over. We can finish talking later."

Snape stood and walked over to Solamae. "I'm sure Potter's just fine, Fea. Like you had told him earlier, he's not going back there."

Solamae looked up at him and smirked. "Spying on us were you?"

"You expect less of me?" Solamae chuckled at him. Snape leaned forward and kissed the top of his niece's head and whispered, "I'll talk to Dumbledore and see what I can do," then walked out of the room without another word. Solamae looked after him and smiled to herself. 'Uncle Sev can be quite the trickster when he wants to be…' Solamae looked up at the clock that hung over the fireplace and sighed. Refilling her drink, she walked out of the room and back to Harry's, where she found the dark-haired wizard still sleeping away.

Taking a seat at the edge of the bed and placing her drink on the nightstand, Solamae leaned over and slowly began waking the Gryffindor up. When he finally opened his eyes, she smiled and grabbed her drink, telling him to sit up. "Here," she offered, placing her glass in his hands. "Drink that. It'll make you relax a little more." Harry gave the drink a skeptical look, causing the younger Snape to laugh. "There's nothing in it that'll kill you."

"What is in it, then?" Harry asked groggily, still slightly tired.

"What do you think? An aphrodisiac? Come on, Harry? Don't you trust me?" Harry glared at her, only making her smirk. "It's nothing but a little fire whiskey. It'll wake you up a bit and release any of those tense muscles you have."

Harry gave yet another skeptical look before shrugging and taking a couple of large swigs, then handed it back to her; enjoying the warm burning as the liquid slide down his throat. "Wow. Never knew someone could drink as much as you did without making a face. Experienced drinker, are we?"

"What do you think us Gryffindors do when there's nothing better to do?"

"Hmm. Drinking parties. Sounds like fun. Remind me if I don't get sorted there to have you invite me to one. Could show you how to really take down a drink."

Harry chuckled at her and shook his head. But when he looked back her and saw a questioning look swim around her eyes, he asked, "What is it?"

Solamae was silent for a moment, just looking into Harry's eyes before answering with a quiet voice, "Are you wearing a concealment charm, Harry?" The question took Harry off guard as he continued to look at her. And as he looked down at his hands, all he could do was frown and nod his head. When Solamae knew he wasn't going to answer her verbally, she reached her hand to grab his chin and made Harry look at her. "Let me see."

"What?"

"Take off the charm, Harry. Please. I want to see what they did. Maybe I can help get rid of some of it?"

Harry stared at her once again in stunned silence before he nodded and reached over into the nightstand drawer. Pointing his wand towards himself, he muttered a quick spell, causing the charm to slowly begin to disappear. And what the charm revealed after it was taken off made Solamae gasp at the image before her.

On Harry's face were gashes that had scabbed over and were now just beginning to fade away. Both eyes were of a light blue color, indicated that they were now just beginning to heal. His jaw was still a dark purple that trailed down his neck and over his shoulders, disappearing underneath his shirt. His neck held prominent fingers marks, now almost completely faded. Both arms were at least half covered with bruises; gashes lay around his wrist as though he had tried to slit them.

She watched as one of his arms reached over to grab his glasses. As Harry did so, she could see more skin appear underneath, thankful that it at least wasn't as bad as the rest of his body that she had seen. She looked back over at the hand that still lay in his lap. Tilting her head slightly, she reached her hand over and traced her fingers over the slit on his wrist. One cut she traced up his arm, to his elbow and under his sleeve. She continued to trace up to his shoulder, shocked at how long and ridged it was. 'Who in the bloody hell would do this to their own family?!' she screamed in her head.

When she heard Harry gasp as she traced her finger back down his arm on what she presumed was another scar, she looked up at his now clouded over eyes. The once emerald color was now a dull green. To her, they almost seemed dead. At seeing that, she began to take her hand away, afraid she was beginning to scare him; only to become shocked once more as he grasped her hand in place. She looked at him incredulously, confused on why he didn't want her to stop.

As his eyes transfixed back to their normal emerald-green, all she could do was stare at him. Her eyes asked him if he wanted her to continue. When he nodded his head ever-so slightly, she smiled sadly but began to trace her fingers down his arm over the same scar. She noted that this scar curved underneath his hand, ending just barely at the juncture of where his fingers and palm met. As she continued to trace along his hand, they slowly twinned their fingers together into a firm clutch.

Solamae then took her other hand and repeated the action…

She watched as her hand traveled up his arm, past his elbow; once again hiding underneath his shirt. She then bought her hand back down, this time with no scar to follow. Once she reached his hand, she clasped their hands together like with their others. When she finished, she looked up at him to find his eyes had not clouded over this time, but instead just watched her in what seemed almost like amazement and pleading. They just stared at one another as though if they looked away, the other would fall apart.

Silence over-stood them as they just sat there, the stillness of the room going unnoticed by either. It wasn't until Solamae began to talk again did they realize how quiet they were as it seemed like her voice traveled through the air and echoed off the walls.

"I'm so sorry, Harry," she whispered quietly, afraid her voice would crack if she spoke any louder.

Harry just smiled in what seemed like a broken way to Solamae and just shook his head. "Don't be," he answered back to her just as quietly. "It happened. There's nothing that either of us could've done about it."

"I know… But someone could've."

"No. No one else knew. I never told anyone."

"But why?"

Harry noticed her voice was pleading with him, as though begging him to go back in time and tell someone what had happened in hopes of stopping it. 'When did she begin to care so much…?' Harry wondered to himself as he squeezed her hands slightly. "Because… I didn't want anyone to know."

"Why though?"

Harry shrugged, honestly not knowing why. "I don't know. I just didn't want anyone to know."

"Was it because of the Dursley's?"

Harry snorted at this. "No. They may have freaked me out at times, but they never scared me to the point where I wouldn't tell anyone…" Harry was silent for a moment, looking down at their joined hands as his thumbs ran across the tops of hers. "I guess I was just afraid of what everyone found out when they saw how bad their supposed savior had it at home… I don't want anyone's pity or sympathy when they saw me. So I kept to myself and didn't let anyone else know… I suppose that's why I like your uncle like I do, even if he was a bastard to me for five years."

"Why, Harry?"

Harry looked back up at his ex-arch nemesis and smiled. "Because he never showed me pity. He never treated me differently for what I was. Or rather, who I was… And that always seemed to make me smile because I knew someone out there wasn't befriending me just because I was 'the boy who lived'."

"Oh, Harry… People out there like you because of who you are. Not the 'boy who lived', but 'Harry'."

"Give me one person."

"How about Ron and Hermione? They're your best friends, are they not?"

"Yes. But even after they found out who I was, they started treating me differently. No one else seemed to notice it, but they did."

"Harry, that was when you were in your first year at Hogwarts, remember? They've always been there for you since then. You've let them know who the real Harry was. Even I know who you really are, Harry… I just think you need to know who you are."

"What do you mean?"

Solamae sighed and held his hands tighter as she moved to sit closer to him. "Harry, all this time you've never gotten to know who you really are. You've always seen yourself as the façade that everyone's made up for you, which is 'the boy who lived', not Harry Potter; or even just Harry… You've never gotten to do the things you've wanted except for Quidditch because everyone else expected more of you. You never got to be the child everyone else has. You've had to learn to grow up faster than most could even do in a life-time, Harry… And you don't even realize it yourself."

Solamae released one hand and reached up to brush away a few strands of hair that lay across his forehead, revealing the scar that Voldemort had given him so many years ago. "And this is why… Because of this scar, everyone sees you as someone else. Including you, Harry. What you need is to step away from the life that the wizarding world gave you and just figure out who you are. Not what everyone else wants you to be. No matter what anyone else says, Harry, you're not just 'the boy who lived'; no matter how much you tried to believe that because it's what everyone else has told you. You're Harry, the one everyone has grown to trust and is always there for them because you care and not because it's expected of you…

"So for right now, I think you just need to forget about everyone else and just think about yourself for once. You need a break from this reality that life has given you and just free yourself from your own hatred that Voldemort and his followers have bought on upon you. Just let yourself go and be who you've always wanted to be. So, promise me this, Harry; as long as you live with Uncle Sev and I, you won't lock yourself away inside yourself and instead be who you are, nothing else. Alright?"

Harry watched Solamae in such incredulity he didn't even know what to say. Not once had anyone said such a speech to him, and it amazed him how someone he first thought was his enemy could speak to him with such empathy and compassion. Her words, even though they weren't much, meant more to him at that moment that all he could do was smile at her and nod his head in agreement.

Solamae nodded too, their connected hand giving the other a slight squeeze as though it was confirming the exchange. "Good. So, what do you say we do something else before I ask Uncle Sev for a potion to help you with all the wounds?"

"Depends on what that 'something' might be, I guess."

Solamae smiled. "Now, don't panic when I say this, but how about we dodge over to the Dursley's and get whatever things you still have there."

"W… What?"

"Harry, calm down. Uncle Sev would be there with us. I'm not crazy enough to have us go by ourselves. But you need to get what school supplies that you left there back."

"How do you know they didn't burn it already?" Harry asked shakily.

"There's only one way to find that out. But you have to go back there eventually for one reason or another and you know it… Come on, Harry. Uncle Sev and I will be there to protect you. Remember what I said earlier? I would never leave you alone like that again?" Harry nodded his head as he looked down at their hands. It broke Solamae's heart to see Harry rendered so low and skittish as though he were a child again. "I plan on keeping that promise, Harry. No matter what, I'm never letting you go back to that place alone or have you live there again… I promise, Harry… Now, come on. What do you say we just go and get this over with so you never have to worry about them again, huh?"

Solamae nudged Harry lightly, causing the dark-haired Gryffindor to look up at her. After a few short moments, Harry sighed and answered, "Alright."

Solamae nodded and helped Harry stand since his legs had long since gone to sleep. But when he reached for his wand to replace the concealment charm on himself, she reached for it and snatched it from his grasp. "No, Harry. Leave it off."

"But…"

"No. Uncle Sev already knows that it's there, and I'm sure your family does as well."

"How does Snape know?"

"If I could give you the answer to that, I would. But he figured it out all on his lonesome. And either way, if I want to get a potion out of Uncle Sev to fix you up, he's going to want to see it all so he can figure out just how much he would need to give you." Harry nodded as the fact clicked in his head. "Now, let's go get Uncle Sev so we can get this over with already."

Harry only nodded his head again as Solamae grabbed his hand to make sure he followed behind her. She led the way to Snape's potions lab in what Harry figured was the basement area. When they found Snape in the far back, Solamae walked up to her uncle, still clutching Harry's hand. As Snape heard their footsteps come closer, he looked up and gasped at how Harry looked; almost dropped the vial he was cleaning off in the process. But he managed to control himself as he turned his gaze to his niece.

"Something you two wanted, Fea?" he asked gently.

"Actually, yes. Harry and I were wondering if you could come with us to the Dursley's to pick up what things of his are still there."

Snape looked back at Harry, his eyes roaming over what he saw that lay across Harry's skin. Sneering at what the Dursley's had done, he looked back up at Harry's face and almost growled out, "Come here, Potter."

This only seemed to make Harry cower away as his eyes somewhat began to cloud over again. Looking over at Solamae, Snape saw her shake her head frantically as she held onto Harry's quavering body. Looking back at Harry, his eyes softened. "Harry," he spoke more gently this time. Seeing Solamae loosen her hold on the boy, Snape tried speaking again. "Come here, Harry… I promise, I'm not going to do anything."

Harry, with much persuasion from the younger Snape next to him, slowly walked over to the older Snape, just standing in front of him with Solamae right behind; her hand clutching his reassuringly. Harry, however, nearly jumped as he felt Snape's hand reach up to examine his face. But at the tender touched he received, his body gradually began to relax against Solamae's. He could almost feel Snape's eyes turn from him to the woman that stood behind the Gryffindor. Harry began to open his eyes when he felt the calm hand move away.

"I want you to look over this potion, Harry," he spoke in the same gentle voice as he did before. "It's just a pepper-up potion for Poppy's storages at Hogwarts. So I'm sure you know how to look after it?"

Harry only nodded his head as he took the offered seat and steadily mixed the potion for Snape. He vaguely saw Snape and Solamae walk away slightly to another end of the room, where they began to whisper amongst themselves.

"What happened to him, exactly?" Snape asked as he watched Harry from the corner of his eye.

"I can't be too sure. I'd take a look under his shirt if I could. But I didn't want to possibly scare him anymore than I probably did."

Snape nodded his head and turned his attention from Harry to his niece. "He's going to need quite a bit of looking after to heal everything."

"I know. That's why I figured I'd come to you. You can at least know what potions to possibly give him that'll help."

Again, Snape nodded. "Eventually I'm going to have to check his ribs, you know that right?"

Solamae sighed and looked over at Harry. "I know." She then looked back up at her uncle. "That's exactly what I'm afraid of."

They continued to talk for a few more minutes before walking back towards Harry, who, by now, was putting the finished potion into separate vials.

"Quite impressive, Potter." Here, Solamae nudged him in the side. Snape looked at her questioningly before rolling his eyes. "Um… I mean, Harry." Solamae smirked and walked over by Harry's side, helping his clean up.

"Just as soon as everything here is finished, we'll apparate over to the Dursley's to get your things, alright P… Harry?"

Harry only nodded his head, causing Solamae and Snape to give each other worried side glances. 'Harry had better talk soon…' Solamae hoped as she, Snape and Harry began to leave the manor.

Upon reaching the Dursley's house, Harry sighed and walked up to the front door, not even bothering to knock as he just walked in. "Hmm, I wonder if Uncle Vernon is home or not," Harry mumbled quietly as Snape and Solamae entered behind him.

Solamae sighed in relief as she heard him speak. "Why's that?"

Just then, the very man walked out of the living room and nearly keeled over. Which would've made Harry laugh so hard he'd pass out, but he never vocalized that out loud. He could hear Solamae attempt to hold back the laugh that sudden emitted itself from her throat as she saw the look of pure fright appear across Vernon's budged features. But when she realized that Mr. Dursley was advancing on Harry did she take out her wand and point it at the large man. Quickly mumbling "Petrificus Totalus", she watched as his arms and legs bound together and he fell backwards onto the floor, causing quite a loud thud as he hit the ground. This caused the other two occupants of the house to run out of the room and nearly squeak as they saw Harry standing in the middle of their entryway.

"Hello, Aunt Petunia," Harry greeted kindly as Solamae reached over and closed the door behind them.

"You!" Dudley nearly screamed at him. "What are you doing back here!? I thought dad had killed you by now and that's why you didn't live here anymore?!" Dudley looked down at his father as Harry just rolled his eyes. "Why didn't you kill him, father, like you said you were going to!?" Harry tensed at this statement. Solamae heard his aunt gasp and was surprised to see how shocked she looked when she heard what her own son had exclaimed. 'Hmm… Interesting…'

"Are you going to do it now, father, while he's still here?" Harry began to shake, which began to worry Solamae, Snape, and even Petunia. "Come on, dad, get up! I always wanted to see how you tortured him! Please, father! Let me s…"

By now Harry was shaking so bad that Solamae had to grab onto him to make sure he didn't attempt to run away. Snape, his anger slowly rising as he heard what the forsaken child was screaming, took out his own wand and mumbled another jinx, causing the boy's mouth to disappear.

Petunia nearly screamed as she saw her son's mouth erased from his face, but looked back over at her nephew. She opened her mouth, as though she wanted to say something, but quickly closed it as her eyes roamed over his body, just as Snape and Solamae's did. She heard the potions master ask Harry where his trunk was held. When told, he walked over to the cupboard under the stairs to get it out.

Harry and Solamae, however, stayed where they were, both watching Harry's aunt as she continued to look at him. "What happened to you?" she finally asked her nephew.

Harry only sighed and looked down at his uncle. "Why don't you ask him after we leave?" was all he said before looking back up at his aunt.

"I… I don't get it…"

Solamae gave her a weird look before looking at Harry. "She doesn't know?"

"Know what?"

"No, she doesn't," Harry answered Solamae, ignoring what his aunt had asked.

"But why not?"

"Because neither Uncle Vernon nor I ever told her. So she never found out."

"But how? You lived in a room not too far from theirs! How could she not know?"

Harry was silent for a moment, just looking in his aunt's eyes as realization of their conversation sank through. "Uncle Vernon made me place silencing charms around the room every time he came in. Ones that the Ministry wouldn't detect," he began, as though he was explaining it to his aunt. "After I put one up, he would beat me for almost an hour straight without even letting me breath correctly. When he was done, he would make me keep them up until he came back and said it was ok to take them down. But before I could get the chance, he would smack me around a bit here and there just to prove the point that if I ever told anyone he wouldn't hesitate to kill me." Here, his aunt gasped, her hand going up to cover her mouth as she seemed to completely ignore her lunatic son as he clawed where his mouth was supposed to be in hopes of gaining it back.

"He would then go back to wherever everyone else was and make up some lame excuse on why he took so long and why it was so quiet when he was supposedly 'berating' me for… something. I'm sure it was something along the lines that he didn't want to upset anyone and disturb the wonderful evening everyone was having." By now, Harry had tears in his eyes, but held them back as he glared down at his uncle.

They were all silent for a moment until his aunt began to talk again. "He… Vernon did this to you?" she indicated as she walked up to him and lightly touched his face. Harry could only nod as he received the first caring touch from his aunt in nearly sixteen years. "Oh my God… I'm so sorry Harry." Petunia took her hand away and looked down at her husband. "If I had known he was that bad to you…"

"Spare it, Aunt Petunia. It's over and done with. Nothing anyone could possibly do about it."

"But there is, isn't there? You could go to the police or something…"

"I don't want to."

"Huh? Why not?"

Solamae watched their conversation in silence, noticing that her uncle had long ago gotten his trunk from the cupboard and was too watching in silence.

"Because there's no point," he shrugged. "What is anyone going to do about? Send him to jail? What's the point if it's already been done and over with."

Petunia was stunned in silence at her nephew. Confused on why he wouldn't do anything against Vernon. She was about to ask again when Harry already began talking.

"You didn't do anything like he did, Aunt Petunia," he began. "You never hurt me intentionally like him or Dudley. You were the only person who ever showed any sort of compassion towards me, whether you realized it or not… I don't want you to get in trouble from something you never even did, Aunt Petunia, because you will if I said anything. When I want to and can do something about it without getting you in trouble as well, then I will. But not right now. Unlike him," Harry indicated to the lump on the floor known as his uncle, "you are my only blood family I have left, besides Dudley. But to me, he doesn't even count to me anymore… So you see; I don't want to lose you like that, even if you can't stand me."

Petunia looked at him in astonishment, her eyes nearly filling with tears at his words. She remained silent as she let all the words sink in. She watched him as Harry walked past her and up the stairs, Solamae following behind him; leaving her alone with her frantic son, bound husband, and Snape. Snape, not really sure what to do, only walked to the front door to wait for Harry.

"Take good care of him," he heard Petunia whisper, shocking him as he turned to look at her. He watched her for a moment before nodding his head as Harry and Solamae walked back down the stairs.

"You have everything you need, Harry?" he asked as they both approached beside him.

"Yea. Just had to grab a few things from my room."

Snape nodded.

"We have to go shopping for him in muggle London to get him some more clothes. The ones he got from the Dudley kid are too large for him and I don't want him wearing them anymore."

"Alright. We'll stop by a shop in London on our way back to the manor."

Solamae nodded her head in agreement as she placed Harry's other items (photo album, invisibility cloak, etc.) in the trunk with the rest. Snape then shrunk Harry's trunk and stuffed it in his pocket and turned to leave. But just before exited the house, Harry turned to his aunt. "You gonna be ok with those two?" he asked, indicating to the two men in the entry way.

Petunia nodded her head. "I should be. Just, turn them back to normal, or whatever it is that those two over there did. I'll take care of these two myself."

Harry nodded his head as Snape and Solamae un-jinxed the two lards. Harry looked at his aunt for a moment longer before saying, "If either of them touch or harm you in anyway you don't like, you make sure to let me know somehow, alright? I'll find out one way or another if you do."

Petunia looked at him again in shock at his statement, but smiled at him softly as she nodded her head. "I will, Harry. You take care of yourself, alright?"

Harry smiled weakly at his aunt's worry and agreed. He then turned and followed his two companions out of the house, leaving his aunt alone with her son and husband; hoping that she would somehow be ok. As they walked away from the house and made sure that no one had seen them, the apparated to London to proceed to buy Harry (as well as Solamae since she figured she was there…) some more clothes. They decided not to stay in the muggle world for too long, so they left soon after finding what they needed and silently headed back to the manor.

That night was quiet for everyone. Snape checked over Harry and gave the Gryffindor what he needed before sending him off to his room to rest some more. Shortly after, Solamae knocked on his bedroom door with a tray of food for him. But upon reaching no answer, she opened the door slightly ajar to find Harry wasn't sleeping. She walked into the room, figuring Harry was in the shower, and placed his food on the table nearby.

But when she was about to leave, something out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. Moving over to the desk that was next to the balcony door, she saw Harry photo album. It was opened to the picture of Harry's parent, who looked up at her and smiled. But she noticed that their smiled didn't hold the spark of happiness that she thought would be there.

Her fingers grazed across the album, turning the page to see the next. He noticed how the pages seemed to be packed with pictures of his friends and family. And upon turning to the last page, she found a small note with a picture attached. The picture was marked "Sirius Black" and the note, as well, was addressed to him. Solamae's eyes softened as she looked at the picture of Harry's godfather as she traced her fingers over it. When Sirius moved, she could've sworn she actually felt him touch her hand. As she looked into his eyes, Solamae saw the sad spark that just barely seemed to be alive.

As she finally tore her eyes away from Sirius' picture, she looked down at the note that was written in Harry's scrawl. Her curiosity seeming to get the better of her, she took a seat at the desk's chair and began reading over what was written.

'Dear Sirius,' she read to herself, 'I know you probably won't read this, even though I wish I could say you will. And I've tried to convince myself that you somehow will because you'll come back to us and act as though you just played a cruel joke seeing as you were bored or something. At least that would've made me feel better anyway…

'I don't like the fact that you followed us to the Ministry of Magic when you know of what the possibilities of what could've happened to you in the process… But I blame myself for that, Sirius. If it wasn't for me you wouldn't have gone there. You wouldn't have fallen through that veil… And you would still be with us. And it hurts because I feel I could've prevented that from happening. I don't care what everyone else says, I know I could've! But I was stupid. I didn't listen to what my heart was telling me and I just plunged for what I thought was the answer to everything. I was so stupid for doing that, and I'm so sorry, Sirius. I really am.

I wish I could sit there and say that I didn't do anything wrong; and that you'll be back in no time like you never really left to begin with. But it's my fault that it happened and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

I want so much for you to be here, Sirius. I just want you to appear beside me, even if out of no where, to let me know that you're alright… I want to be there next to you so I know that you're not alone. I want none of this to have happened and have it go back to the way it used to be! I want you back, Sirius. I miss you so much and I can't do anything but sit here and know that I was a failure to you…'

Solamae stopped reading for a moment and looked down at the picture of Sirius, his eyes seeming to sadden as she watched him. It was almost like he knew what went around in Harry's head. She closed her eyes just then to control her beating heart. And when she reopened them, she looked back down at Harry's letter and continues to read.

'I'm so sorry, Sirius! I'm sorry for everything I've done to make this all go wrong. I'm sorry for not defending you like I should have. I'm sorry for not being there when you needed someone beside you. I'm sorry that you had to live the life like you have… I'm sorry for living all those years ago…' Solamae took a calculated breath. Why it was hurting her, she didn't know. But she continued to read.

'I truly am sorry, Sirius. I just want everything to be right again, but I can't make that happen. I don't even know if you realize how much I love you, Sirius. And that hurts me so much that I didn't tell you while I still could. You were the only other person, besides Remus, who knew my parents and treated me as though I were your own son. I know at times you saw me as my father. And believe it or not, I respect knowing that. I'm not too sure as to why, but I do… You were like my real father to me. And I'm sorry I never told you that.

I must be going, though… Even though I know you can't hear me or read this and I know it's probably too late to tell you… but I love you, Sirius. And I miss you so much. I hope someday I can see you again. And wherever you are, I hope you finally found the peace and freedom you deserve. Goodbye, Sirius.

With all my love,

Your Godson, Harry.'

As Solamae finished reading the letter, the hand holding the letter fell onto her lap while her other lifted up to her face to wipe away a stray tear that fell from her eye. 'Why am I crying?' she asked herself. She was startled, however, when she felt someone's hand press on her shoulder. She quickly stood and faced her sudden company, nearly dropping the letter as she saw Harry standing just behind her chair. His hair was still slightly damp, indicating he had just gotten out of the shower not too long ago.

They were quiet for a moment. It wasn't until Harry looked down at the letter still clasped in Solamae's hands did either begin to talk. "I wrote that shortly after vacation started," Harry started to say, his eyes looking back up into hers.

"Why?" Solamae whispered, just barely noting that her voice was held low.

Harry just smile sadly at her, picking up the picture of his godfather and looking down at it. "It hurt so much to lose him like I did… I didn't even get to say goodbye to him." Harry looked back up at the younger Snape as he took the letter she held in her hands. "I didn't get to tell him anything that I've wanted to. And I think that's what hurts me the most."

Solamae watched him place the note and picture back inside the album. "You know, it's not your fault Harry…"

Harry nodded his head. "I know that. But tell that to my conscience. I mean, if it wasn't for me…"

"Harry, don't even say it." Solamae walked up beside him and touched his arm gently. "You know as well as I do that you did nothing. You have to remember, it was his choice to show up there to begin it. He did it to protect you. He loved you, Harry. And he didn't want anything to happen where he could lose you and feel alone for the rest of his life like as though he had let your parents down."

Harry snorted. "Yea, instead he just left me to be alone. He didn't even realize that he was the only real family I had left, Fea. So he left me alone to deal with everything by myself."

"But he didn't, Harry. You're not alone in this. You have to remember all the other people who cared for him. Like that Lupin guy that Uncle Sev said he was always with. How do you think he's feeling?"

"I wouldn't know. He refuses to talk to me about anything. It's like he's ignoring me."

Solamae was silent for a moment, then looked up into Harry's eyes. "Then we'll just have to talk to him. I know you don't want to be alone in this, Harry. And I understand that more than you think. But you need someone else here with you who knows that it feels like to lose him. Maybe if you talk to him you'll begin to feel better. Then maybe you can let Sirius go… What do you say?" When Harry remained silent, Solamae frowned slightly. "At least think about it?" Again, Harry was silent, but at least gave Solamae a small nod.

"Aright then. Why don't you eat something then? I bought you some stew and biscuits. With the potions Uncle Sev gave you, I don't want you getting sick." Harry only nodded his head again as Solamae led him to the table with his tray of food.

They ate silently together Solamae giving him quick glances to make sure he was eating. Afterwards, a house elf took their tray away and Solamae once again led Harry to the bed. Lying down beside him, she covered them both with the blankets and watched him till Harry fell asleep. When she was sure he was sleeping, the young girl slowly crawled out of bed and walked back over to the desk. Grabbing a piece of parchment and scribbling something down, she rolled it up and went over by Hedwig.

The owl hooted quietly at her, causing Solamae to smile. "Here," she whispered to her, "take this to Remus Lupin. Don't leave until he gives you a reply back, alright?"

Hedwig hooted at here again. Solamae gave her a little treat that she had saved from her dinner and gave it to the owl. Receiving her small treat, Hedwig swooped out of the open balcony door that Solamae had opened for her and disappeared into the night. And after watching her gradually fade away, Solamae closed the door and walked back over to where Harry lay still asleep.

She quietly crawled back in beside him. Harry stirred slightly, but only seemed to bury himself closer to her. This caused Solamae to smile down at him and wrap her arms loosely around his shoulders; one hand sometimes rubbing circles on his back. Deciding she should try to get some sleep, Solamae kissed the top of Harry's head and whispered a light, "Sweet dreams, Harry," as her own dreams began to consume her and the darkness slowly evaded her senses.


AN:
Well, there ya have it!! grins I know, these last few chapters have been completely corny. But I swear! They get better! My lil bro is claiming himself as my beta since he knows I don't have one and has read almost any and all chapters I'll let him get close to. Kinda funny actually. And he seemed to be enjoying himself, so I suppose that's all that matters, eh? :p

Happy New Year Everyone and I'll see you after the holidays are over! hugs

Blue Rosed Dragon