The full chapter title for this one was, DOOR, WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR? shoving hot detectives up against!

Doc found it funny, I found it funnier, we're weird like that ;) Thank you for reading.


She lurched forwards just in time to grab his hand and keep him upright, but he overcompensated and had to grab her waist. Her hands fisted themselves in the lapels of his jacket and she tugged.

The wrong way.

With an oomph, she stumbled backwards, dragging him with her and letting him stumble to his feet and to safety, away from the closing and clunk doors of the temperamental machine.

"Castle, what is it with you and the elevator? It hates you."

"It eats me," he replied, leading her to scrunch her eyes in confusion. That is until he turned around, and popped his peachy butt out towards her.

Beckett blinked in silence - once - before doubling over with laughter.

"What is going on over here?" a stern voice called out and Beckett's laughter stopped immediately, her eyes flying to Castle's.

He froze, his whole body tensing up and his eyes wide with panic, pupils locking with Kate's, his protruding backside still dancing in the air.

"Oh, sir. Uh. Nothing." Beckett squealed jumping in front of Castle and trying to shield him with her body. She had to act quickly as the rapidly approaching Captain was eyeballing them both suspiciously with every step she took.

At her back Beckett felt Castle shift position, felt the brush of his fingers at her hip and down her back, making her jump and not look at all suspicious. "Castle." She hissed, hiding the words and the warning with a fake smile leveled directly at her boss.

Captain Gates folded her arms, coming to a dead stop in front of them, her narrowed eyes and flaring nostrils making her look somewhat like an angry pony as her gaze shifted between the pair. The look, though silent, screamed, 'no shit'.

Castle's shoulders slumped, and he turned around with a sigh. Bending over he slowly revealed to the Captain the torn seat of his pants, the ripped material of his boxers and one cheek of his ass now exposed to the elements.

Beckett watched as the woman's mouth fell open and her eyes widened, and Kate had to gulp back a sudden urge to usher Gates away from her partner. Something odd flaring in her stomach at the way the pink cheeked Captain kept letting her eyes drift back to Castle's backside.

"Oh. Oh, my," said a visibly flustered Gates, her eyes trained firmly on the front of Castle's pants as he stood up and turned around. "Detective Beckett," Her eyes weren't even blinking, staring steadfastly at the space previously occupied by Castle's bare ass. " I don't know what you do in the confines of your ahh...bedroom, but this is the precinct... we ummm."

"What?" Beckett barked glaring, but her face paled slowly with the insinuation. "What? No, sir! I don't - I didn't -"

"It was the elevator," Castle said, saving her from further embarrassment. And then he ruined it by adding, rather joyfully, "usually by the time she gets to doing things to me, there aren't any clothes in the way."

"Castle!" Beckett hissed in an odd mixture of embarrassment, dismay, and mild amusement, turned him around and away from Gates, pushing him far. Far enough not to be heard, hopefully.

" , from what I can see, there aren't any clothes in the way now." The Captain blinked, shook her head and finally lifted her gaze to his face, "Perhaps you should rectify that?"

Beckett chose to ignore the disappointment in the woman's voice, nodding instead, "Yes, sir. I'll get right on it."

"Fixing my pants, she means." Castle replied, jumping to her rescue unnecessarily. "Not getting on anything else. Or anything that could be-"

Beckett's fingers tightened around his upper arm in a deadlier than death grip and she yanked him off the spot, taking off down the corridor, pulling the man behind her as he tried to cover his own ass with one hand.

"I'm sure she...does," Gates muttered under her breath, waving her fingers in front of her face - not fanning herself - and tipping her head to the side as she watched them walk away.

The slash of denim revealed the taut curve of the writers backside, boxers splitting and occasionally giving her glimpses of his ass as he walked away. It gave her a decent clarification on why her lead Detective's eyes often dropped to that particular part of her partners anatomy.

"Lucky girl." Gates mumbled, before catching herself staring at him again and shaking her head. She cleared her throat and made herself stand erect...upright, she made herself stand upright and glanced around slyly to check she hadn't been seen.

It wouldn't for people to think she was giving too much attention of the writer - or to the perky bounce of his ass as he strode away - and heaving a heavy sigh of relief, Gates turned towards her desk, seeking solitude to reflect on what she had seen - a good partnership, she meant, of course.

She strode away and hummed in disbelief, thinking to herself that sometimes he really was a good asset to the team.


Castle could have sworn that he felt Kate grab his exposed butt cheek on the pretense of shoving him away from Gates, not that he found it in himself to mind. Maybe he wasn't so much cursed as blessed after all. Of course, he could do without being gawked at by Gates and he shuddered at the thought, he could almost feel the woman's eyes still roaming over his skin.

"Castle, put some pants on," Kate said sternly.

"Not my four favorite words," Castle replied with a slight frown.

"Well, we don't want to give the entire precinct a free show."

"You'd rather charge admission?" He grinned, turning to face her, "Admission to my pants."

"Not with the Captain looking at you like she'd buy all the tickets." Kate growled, reminding him how very much he liked jealous Beckett, and he couldn't help but step into her space, crowd her a little and press her already pressed buttons just a tad more.

His fingers trailed her arm and his voice dropped low and deep as he teased, "You just don't want them thinking that you were responsible for it," he said with a smirk. "That you couldn't keep your hands off me, huh Beckett?"

She swatted his chest. lifting her eyes slowly to his face, burning through with embarrassment and maybe a little too much desire. "That's not funny. I was mortified."

"Did she honestly think you'd maul me at the precinct? Clearly she doesn't think much of your self-control." He grinned, fanning her neck with a heated breath, "She doesn't know how well you can hold out when you want to, keep me waiting...wanting."

"Actually!" Beckett interrupted, ignoring his dirty mind, "I think her lack of self-control was showing," she grumbled.

"What?"

"I mean, really, she was talking more to your- " she gestured silently to his backside, "than she was to me."

"Aww, Beckett. Are we feeling a bit possessive? You can talk to it later if you want to."

"Urgh. Locker room, now!" She growled and pointed and stepped forwards obviously expecting him to follow her.

"Huh. Wow, I wasn't actually serious, but okay," Castle replied gleefully, skipping after her and almost skidding into her back when she turned on the spot and paused in the doorway.

Shoving him away from her hard, Kate pointed into the room, "No, I mean. I have your stuff in my locker."

his eyebrows danced at her words, "Kinky!"

"Just go."

"Kay, I'll change my pants and come up."

"I bet you will." She mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Beckett strode away shaking her head, god, even her own mouth was determined to make this situation a thousand times worse, she really needed to get a handle on herself, keep herself under better control cos he sure as hell wasn't going to be able to reign it in.

Castle took a few steps into the room and watched as Beckett walked down the corridor away from him, he tried to bite his tongue but it was no use, "Beckett?"

"Whhhattt?" She rolled her eyes and spun on the spot, her arms wide.

"She wasn't...the Captain I mean, she wasn't really looking at my...was she?" His voice pitched skyward as panic set in and his hands slipped behind him to cover his backside protectively.

Kate took a deep breath and met his eyes, biting back the urge to bite his head off. But on seeing his face, his worried expression and slightly seasick green tinged face, she took pity on him, "Don't worry, Castle." Kate grinned slowly, "I've got your back...literally!" She waggled her fingers and laughed when he gulped.


Castle did what he was told, for once, even if it took him three checks in the mirror to convince himself his backside was covered from the prying eyes of Gates. Adjusting his collar, and quite proud of himself for staying calm, he was finally on his way back to Beckett's desk, when a door flew open in front of him.

There was a flash of skin, a flash of shadow and light, and a hand appeared. Castle yelped as he was pulled off his feet and yanked into the supply closet.

The very dark supply closet.

Oh, goody!

Fingers coiled over his chest and Castle grinned into the darkness. He growled, his hands roaming. "This is turning out to be quite a good day, Kate. But I checked while I was down there and this is my last pair of pants, so don't rip them like you did the..." he wriggled, and his words died on his tongue, grabbing what he presumed was a butt. "Have you been working out?"

"Castle, get your hands off me, man."

"ESPO?" Castle shrieked. "Ew ew ew ew! What the hell?" He screeched, backing up fast and crashing into the wall behind him.

"Shhhh! Keep it down, dude. She'll hear us."

"I think I want her to hear us. Beckett, HELP!"

Espo cupped his hand over Castle's mouth, and Castle shut up from the sheer shock of it, throwing himself backwards and ricocheting from the wall only to bounce against the door until Espo had him pressed up against it tight.

"Not her! I meant Shaney!"

"Mmmmfshf"

"What?" Espo asked. "Oh, right, sorry." He took his hand away.

"What is up with you and Shaney?" Castle hissed. "And why am I being groped in a closet because of it?"

"That was not groping." Espo stated rather too emphatically, "And I was at a bar last night. And she was at a bar last night. We were at the same bar!"

Castle groaned, wanting to cover his ears, "And I thought Ryan sucked at story telling."

"She was hitting on me all night!" Espo squeaked.

Castle narrowed his eyes in the dark, sensing a mistelling of the narrative, "Did you hit on her?"

He heard Espo gulp in the darkness, his voice shooting high as he squeaked."What? No! Maybe. No! No!"

"Mmhmm." Castle folded his arms across his chest, "Come on 'Sito, was it because you knew she was Lanie's cousin?"

"I had no idea! She looked similar but her name is Shaney. Shaney!" He exclaimed desperately, "Who'd name their kids Lanie and Shaney?"

"That's what I SAID!" Castle squeaked in triumph, forgetting to keep quiet, and nearly jumping out of his skin when the door he had been yanked through not moments before suddenly the door flew open again.

They had to squint against the bright burst of light and Castle stumbled sideways, his arms wrapping around Espo for stability. It took a few seconds but their eyes adjusted to the brightness bombarding them, only to be confronted by a relatively calm Beckett staring them down, her arms folded and her eyebrows almost touching her hairline.

"Uh. I can explain?"

Her eyes moved from one man to the other, slowly, and she held her hand up. "I don't even want to know." Reaching between them Kate yanked on a spindly silver chain and the tiny supply cupboard was illuminated by a single bulb hanging above their heads.

"Huh?" Castle grunted looking up at the bulb in amazement.

Reaching between them, Beckett extended her arm slowly, her eyes narrowed and focused behind the two men as she retrieved a shiny new stapler. Pocketing it she gave them one last deadly look before she yanked on the chain again, casting them back into darkness, and wordlessly closed the door in their faces.

Castle turned to Espo, "There's a light in here? Why were we in the dark?"

"I didn't know there was a light in here."

"Huh, there wasn't one here the last time."

"Last time?"

"Yeah, why'd'u think I thought you were Beckett?"

"Ew."

"I'd rather be in here with her than you."

"Good point."

Castle stared at the space where he imagined Espo's head to be, "Lets not go there and we're still in the dark."

"Right," Esposito agreed, happily letting the subject drop, "I'm hoping Shaney's gone. But at this point I'm willing to risk it, we need to come out."

Castle snorted under his breath at his friends word choice, "Speak for yourself."