Chapter 4

Nina could only hide from Fabian so long. Kings College London was far larger than Tufts University, where Nina went, but it still wasn't a huge school. She had to eat lunch and Fabian knew exactly which dining hall a girl on her first day would use. He knew exactly how to find her.

"Hi," Nina muttered as he sat down across from her. He didn't even have a tray, and it was obvious he wasn't aware of everyone staring at them. "It's good to see you."

Fabian didn't seem to think it was good to see her, not from the way his face was wrinkled or his muscles were taut. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Nina cringed a bit at his terse words, but she also knew she deserved them. Her leaving… it had been wrong. She should have at least called. She only didn't because it would hurt her, but obviously never calling hurt Fabian as much as it had protected Nina. "I'm doing a study abroad. I didn't even know you went here if that's what you're wondering."

"You would have known if you ever spoke to any of us again after you left."

Each word he said was like a dagger in Nina. She'd never seen Fabian so bitterly upset. Was it only because of her? Had he changed and become like this all the time? The idea of Fabian having become something so sad and cruel was even more painful than leaving him had been.

"I'm sorry. I should have stayed in contact but I thought you all would be safer if you didn't know what I was up to. I've made as many enemies as I've made friends you know."

Fabian seemed thrown by the idea that Nina had continued to have strange Egyptian interactions even after leaving Anubis House. He didn't ask about them, however. No he just shrugged, "It doesn't matter. I'm over it. I moved on. I'm only talking to you because you're not the only one from Anubis House who has suddenly walked back into my life. Eddie showed up at my doorstep yesterday. He's a mess. He was pretty high but he said something about you being the only one who might understand. If you ever cared about any of us you'll at least try and talk to him."

Nina bit her lip. It hurt to think that Fabian believed she hadn't cared. She'd loved him. She'd loved them all. Leaving Anubis House had been like watching them all die.

Except they hadn't died. Nina had left and they'd all survived. Who knew how many of them would have been dead if they'd been around for the Book of Thoth or the Coffin of Osiris? She didn't even want them to know about those little messes, never mind for them to have been there. So she'd been right to leave, but apparently it hadn't left them without a certain level of pain as well.

"Of course I'll talk to Eddie. I don't know if there is anything I can do to help him but I'll try. I hate the idea of any of you hurting. You have to know that that has never changed."

Fabian stared at her for a moment, and the look on his face called Nina a liar. "Whatever. Just talk to Eddie, will you? He doesn't deserve this."

No, no Nina doubted any of them deserved the lives they got because Nina showed up at Anubis House the same day Joy 'disappeared.'


Eddie didn't have any drugs with him, and it was seriously bothering him. He wasn't addicted. He didn't feel the need for the drug itself, but he needed something to make the feeling disappear. He'd been covering up the feeling of being lost for years; he couldn't stand it for only a few hours.

Eddie's head was in the fridge when he heard the door open, but he just assumed it was Fabian and didn't look up right away. When he finally turned around and looked up he wondered if, perhaps, he was somehow still high. "Ah. So the drugs have finally gone to my head."

"No Eddie. I'm real," Nina promised reaching forward to grab his arm. "I'm doing a study abroad and ran into Fabian. He asked me to talk to you… he said you've been having a hard time?"

Eddie snorted. Of course Nina would just somehow show up. He remembered enough about how those things worked to know that strange coincidences involving Nina were more likely than drug-induced hallucinations. "Of course. So now you swoop in, solve the mystery, and fix everything, am I right?"

Nina took a step back, clearly hurt by his bitter tongue. A part of Eddie wanted to say 'good, she deserves the pain', but another part of him, the part of him that was once destined to protect her, felt bad for hurting her. In the end neither side won, and he just let it be.

"When did you get so bitter? I thought Fabian sounded depressed. You're practically a different person," Nina whispered shaking her head.

But despite her appearance of guilt, despite her looking pained to see Eddie like this, her words of ignorance got right under Eddie's skin. "I died Nina! I died and while a part of me came back a part of me didn't. And it was your fault. I was meant to protect you, not fight Ammut or Ra! I didn't know what I was doing and people got hurt and I died because of it. It wasn't my job, it was yours, and you didn't do it and I died! So when did I get like this, well when you took off and left me to do your job."

Nina visibly flinched this time, and moved to sit down on the couch. Her legs looked like they were practically shaking, and she took a rattling breath, "I'm sorry Eddie, I really am. I didn't mean to leave you to deal with those things. I thought you would be safer without me there attracting those kinds of things… and you were. Ammut and Ra were horrible, but you all survived, more or less. The ones around me when I faced the gods and ghosts that found me weren't always so lucky. I'm sorry you had to deal with those things, and maybe I do have the abilities you didn't, but my leaving was to protect you, all of you."

Eddie didn't know what she was talking about. He'd always assumed that the weird Egyptian things only happened at Anubis House. Had they happened other places as well? Had Nina continued to deal with these dangerous situations alone? If so that only pissed Eddie off more. "It wasn't your job to protect us! It was my job to protect you! I had one purpose in life, one. The only reason I could do shit against Ammut or Ra was that, sooner or later, they'd have hurt you wherever you were, but I wasn't meant to fight them alone and the Osirian died. So now I have no purpose in life. Do you know what it feels like to literally not have a purpose in life? Other people have to find their purpose, but you and I were born with ours. I can't just get a new life purpose. Can you imagine what it would be like to just no longer be the Chosen One?"

Nina bit her lip and shut her eyes. Eddie couldn't figure out exactly what she was doing, but it reminded him a bit of prayer. (Not that he'd ever been one to pray.) Finally Nina opened her eyes, but it wasn't 100% Nina before Eddie now. He could see a bit of the spirit of the ancient Chosen One in Nina now. "The way you feel now, did you feel the same way before you were the Osirian? You used to get in a lot of trouble, did you act out because you didn't feel like you had a purpose?"

Eddie nodded; that was an easy question. The longer he'd stayed at Anubis House, the longer he'd stayed with Nina, the more he'd found his path. Once he was fully the Osirian he barely acted out at all. As complicated as life could be, it was easy when you knew what you were meant to be doing. "Yes. Perhaps it's a bit worse now because now I knew what it felt like to have a purpose, but it's more-or-less the same."

"Then know that I do understand the feeling. I lived sixteen years before I was the Chosen One. I remember what it felt like to not have a purpose and I would do anything to go back and change things so you didn't lose your Osirian spirit. But there is another answer than drugs."

Eddie snorted, but actually went to sit beside her. Even without the Osirian spirit being near her, remembering the need to protect her from Senkarah, made it a little easier for Eddie to breathe. "What magical answer is there? You know as well as I do what it feels like to have a destiny. It's grounding. It makes you feel sure of every decision. Without a purpose, without the ability to ever find a purpose, I literally don't have a reason to be alive."

Nina shut her eyes again, clearly struggling with something. "I should have come back," Nina's voice was practically a whisper, and filled with regret. "I knew what had happened and thought it was even more of a reason for me to stay away. You were normal again. I thought that meant you'd be safe, happy. I was wrong, and I'm so, so, so sorry. If I'd known I could have done something earlier."

Eddie perked up at those words, his heart fluttering a little bit out of synch. Done something earlier? "Does that mean you can do something now?"

It took Nina a moment, and during that time she bit her lip so hard it drew blood, but finally she nodded slowly. "I mean I can't do anything, but I know some… people… who can. Give me a little bit of time, okay? Spend a few days here with Fabian. Try to sober up, and give me a few days to see if An, if anyone can help you. But just… just think on this okay? I know there are times I'd rather the pain of not having a purpose than the pain of failing at my purpose. If I find a way to make you the Osirian again it will be permanent. Be sure it's what you want, okay?"

Eddie nodded, his heart beating rapidly. For the first time in years he had the hope that things might get better, that he might have a path again. He was still furious at Nina for having run away and left him for so long, but if she could really reinstate his nature as the Osirian… Well if she did then he'd have no desire to hurt her at all and he'd certainly have an easier time forgiving her.