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Chapter 4: Life, Death, Grief and Pain
"I'll get it," Marissa reached over and picked up the phone. "Hello?"
"Marissa? It's Rob."
The voice of Kylle's cousin who Marissa had gotten to know quite well came over the phone.
"Oh hey…" she was cut of by Rob's distressed voice.
"Is Kylle there?"
"Oh uh one sec. Kylle." Kylle stopped tickling Elly and looked over at Marissa. "It's Rob. Seems urgent."
"Oh," Kylle made his way over to Marissa. "Did he say what it's about?"
"No he just wants to talk to you." He took the phone off Marissa and put it up to his ear.
"Hey Rob, what's up?" he asked casually. Marissa went back to the plates taking them to the table, as Kylle stood listening into the phone intently. She put the two plates down and went back to get the third. She stopped and frowned when she noticed the colour gradually drain away from his face. She realised that he hadn't said anything into the phone, and was gripping it tightly to his ear. His hand shakily brought the phone down. He still hadn't uttered a word.
"Umm Elly could you go and wash your hands."
Whatever Rob had said wasn't good and she didn't want Elly to hear.
"Kylle?" Marissa made her way over to him and took his hand in hers. "What's wrong? What did Rob say?" she asked urgently. Kylle remained silent. His deep blue eyes suddenly cold and grey, focused to a spot on the floor. "Kylle, honey, please tell me what's wrong," Marissa pleaded with him.
"It's my parents, car crash," he forced out monotonously. "They're dead."
Marissa's hand flew up to her mouth and she felt tears form in her eyes. She wrapped her arms around him, the only thing she could think of. But for the first time he didn't hug back.
"I'm so sorry. We'll get through this," she whispered to him. He pulled out of her grip and pushed the phone into her hands.
"I can't be here right now. I need to get some air," he forced out never once looking at her. He ran out the front door grabbing his car keys on the way.
"Wait! Kylle!" Marissa ran after him. She ran out the door as Kylle got into his car and started the engine. "Kylle! Don't go!" she ran down the steps as he drove out the driveway. She ran after the car screaming his name. She gave up when his car disappeared around the corner, praying he wouldn't do anything stupid. Marissa walked back to the house and noticed Elly standing in the doorway.
"Where did daddy go?" she asked confused. Marissa lifted her up into her arms.
"Daddy had to…daddy had to go and see a friend," she lied.
She put Elly down as they entered the kitchen.
"Is that who was on the phone?" Elly questioned as she sat down at the table.
"Yes sweetie that's who was on the phone," Marissa said as she sat beside Elly. Elly chewed on a bit of pasta and looked at her mom.
"What does daddy's friend want?"
"I don't know Elly!" she said in exasperation. "Now be a good girl and eat up your pasta."
A week later Marissa climbed out of a black limo clutching a black shawl around her shoulders. For the past week she had helped Kylle organise the funeral. He was a wreck and when he was there he wasn't really there. To be honest Marissa wasn't surprised. His parents were two of the nicest people she had met and Kylle loved them so much. They had received flowers and cards from it seemed like hundreds of people. Sandy and Kirsten had sent them a card. Marissa, Kylle and Elly had visited the Cohen's quite a few times in the past four years and Kylle and Elly had fitted right in. They were a link back to her past and one that she didn't want to be broken.
She leaned into the limo and lifted Elly out. She didn't know how well she understood what was happening. How much could a 4 year old really understand? She had asked Marissa numerous times why daddy was always so sad. Marissa explained that his parents had gone away. Elly took this as they had gone on holiday and didn't see why this would make him sad.
"They've not gone on holiday Elly. They won't be coming back. They've gone to a better place."
"Have they gone to heaven?"
"Yeah, sweetie," Marissa said having no idea where she'd heard that from. "And they loved you very much and always will, even from heaven.
"Do you think daddy would like me to draw him a picture?"
"I think he would like that very much."
"What about granny and grandpa? Can I draw them a picture too and send it to heaven?"
"Of course you can sweetie," Marissa kissed Elly's head. She stood up and held her hand. They walked over to Kylle and she linked her arm in his. She leaned up and kissed his pale cheek.
"It's going to be ok," she whispered into his ear but elicited no response.
"Jim and Dina were amazing people but I don't have to tell anyone here that. Many people told me I am the spitting image of my father. I was first concerned that I was being compared to a man twice my age but then I realised there wasn't a better man out there that I could be compared to. From when I was a little boy and up to the day he died my father would always say, "Now remember son our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall" Marissa listened intently as she listened to him remember all the good times in his life. All the times with his parents. She suddenly felt the need to hug her mom and dad. She felt almost guilty for never seeing them. Here was a man who would do anything to see his parents again, and here she was just choosing not to.
Reaching the end of his eulogy, Kylle took a deep, shaky breath. "I'm now going to pass you to Lionel Richie and Diana Ross. To Jim and Dina, may they live forever in all of our hearts. Rest in peace mom and dad. I'll love you always."
My
love,
There's only you in my life
The only thing that's bright
Marissa smiled and a tear dripped from her eye as Endless Love floated through the air. She stood up, holding tightly onto Elly's hand.
My
first love,
You're every breath that I take
You're every step I
make
Marissa bowed her head as she watched in pain as Kylle walked over to one of the coffins, silent tears falling down his face.
And
I
I want to share
All my love with you
No one else will
do...
Marissa moved out and followed the coffins up the aisle past all the mourners. She saw all the sympathy in their eyes as they looked at her and Elly. As they made their way out of the church the music slowly faded into the distance.
And
your eyes
Your eyes, your eyes
They tell me how much you
care
Ooh yes, you will always be
My endless love
Marissa just prayed that Kylle would be able to rise.
That evening after all the mourners had left the wake held at the house Marissa went to find Kylle but couldn't find him anywhere. He had been there only 5 minutes ago but must have slipped out when she was saying good bye to the last of the guests. She noticed that his car was still in the drive so he couldn't have gone far. She knew she should give him space but that seemed to be all she had been doing. Marissa sighed and went upstairs to check on Elly.
She stuck her head into Elly's bedroom and saw her fast asleep. She sorted her covers and kissed her head gently.
Coming back downstairs Marissa picked up the phone and dialed his cell phone. But just as she expected there was no answer. She made her way to the living room and curled up on the couch. She needed to talk to someone and she knew the best person for it. She looked at the clock and thought of the time difference. She knew it would an inappropriate time but she needed someone to talk to. She dialed the number and waited for her to answer.
"Hello," a groggy voice said over the line.
"Hey Sum," Marissa said weakly.
"Coop? How are you honey?" Summer was suddenly wide awake when she heard her best friend's voice.
"Really not good actually."
"Talk to me."
"Well it was the funeral today and Kylle's disappeared and I'm tired and worried and scared," Marissa said as her voice choked up.
"Oh sweetie everything will work out. You guys love each other. He probably just wanted a bit of space."
"I know but since we found out he's become a different person. Whenever he is here he ignores me and Elly. I mean I've been trying to be strong for Elly but I don't know if I can anymore Sum."
Summer heard a quiet sob come from Marissa.
"I'm sorry just to phone you like this but I needed someone to talk to," Marissa said quietly as she felt tears trickle down her cheeks. "Life was so good then this happened and now it's like we're just stuck. I just don't know how to get him to see that his parents wouldn't want him to live his life like this."
"I know Coop but it'll be hard at first but it'll work out, I promise. And you don't have to apologise. You know that if you ever need to talk I'm here."
"Thanks Sum. I better go in case he tries calling."
"Ok. You're going to be alright. Get a good nights sleep and remember I'm always here."
"Ok bye. Love you."
"Love you always Coop, bye."
Marissa put the phone on her lap. She was so glad to have a friend like Summer and just hoped that she was right and they would be able to work through it.
Marissa dropped out of her light sleep when she heard the front door open. She jumped off the couch and ran through.
"Kylle! I've been so worried," she rushed over to him. As she threw her arms around him she got that smell.
"You've been drinking haven't you?"
"So what if I have," he said gruffly, pushing past her and going into the kitchen.
"Kylle don't do this. Please just talk to me," Marissa pleaded.
"What good will it do?" he reached into the cupboard and brought out a bottle of vodka and a glass.
"Well it won't do any harm. Just let me try and help."
"Help. What help would you be?" he said with a cruel laugh. Marissa took this in her stride and walked over to him.
"Just put the drink away and we can go to bed."
"I don't need to sleep."
"Well then let me run you a bath," she cautiously placed her hand on his arm.
"I don't need a bath!"
"Well how about…" she was cut off when he suddenly cracked. He spun round knocking the bottle onto the ground.
"For fcks sake Marissa!!" Marissa stumbled back when the back of his hand smacked into her cheek. "Just leave it, I don't need your help!!"
Marissa lifted her hand up to her burning cheek as his fiery eyes burned into her.
"Leave that, I'll clean it in the morning," he said motioning to the broken glass and pool of vodka. He walked away leaving Marissa clutching her face too scared to move. She slowly made her way to the table and sunk onto one of the seats. What had happened to her life, her boyfriend? The man she met 4 years ago would never lay a finger on her never made smack her across the face. But he had been through so much. He would apologise in the morning. It wasn't his fault, it was just a mistake, his grief getting the better of him. Marissa sat there making up excuses for him telling herself that he had done nothing wrong. Deep down though she knew she was kidding herself. No matter what he had been going through he had no right to hit her. But Marissa was too tired, too scared to look deep. She gave up and lay her bruised face into her arms and cried herself to sleep.
I know it was rather depressing but please review!!
