Disclaimer: The characters are property of Stephanie Meyer. . .I just take them out to play every once in a while.

A/N: RL is kicking my butt. I will try and get this finished in a week or so. . anyone want to be my beta? So like or hate let me know. . Reviews are like Carlisle they just make you feel better.


"I love Edward with everything I have, but was there ever a time when you wanted someone else?" she said.

Her eyes never left mine and were willing me to know her meaning. I did. I knew without a doubt that fate had played and unkind trick on her too. I could see the dawning realization that the same anguished emotions now plaguing me had also hit her as well.

"Oh Bella." I said softly as I turned toward the window. In an attempt to get a grip on myself, I shoved my hands into the deep recesses of my pockets and clenched them. I hope a little pain will turn my attention elsewhere. This was a secret fantasy and nightmare for every man all rolled into one. As fate would have it, this impossible situation was laid directly at my door.

How could I answer her honest question without damning everyone involved? There wasn't a single doubt in my mind that she had caught me staring helplessly at her earlier. . My body heart and mind were all tugging me in different directions screaming their answers and demanding to be heard. Never in all of my existence had I ever been so conflicted about what I wanted to do.

No, that is a bald faced lie. I wanted to take her beautiful face in my cold hands and kiss her until she moaned my name. I wanted to taste every soft inch of her skin and let it warm me. I wanted to give myself up to the wants and needs of the man within and show her the meaning of passion and want and helpless need. But to do so without hurting everyone that mattered most to me would be next to impossible. I reached deep within and plucked the voice of reason and steeled myself to turn and answer her.

I loved my wife, my mate, my companion, my Esme and though the last few hours had proved to me the true answer to Bella's' question but I wasn't going to tell her that. I was going to lie to her.

"Oh geez! What am I saying? What a silly question." She babbled mindlessly to herself. "Of course I had to open my big mouth and make everything so much worse. Leave it to me to do something insanely embarrassing at the absolute worst time ever."

It was another crazy quirk of hers that we all absolutely adored. She talked and babbled to herself when she was nervous or uncomfortable. A slight sound caught my attention and brought me out of my silent thoughts. With a start I realized she was crying softly to herself. Her head was turned downward and her hair was hiding her face from my view. She was wringing her hands in her lap as her shoulders silently shook with her tears.

Unable to stand it any longer, I pulled my hands out of my pockets and shoved them haphazardly through my hair. It was something I had seen Edward do time and time again. I crossed the room and perched myself lightly on the edge of the bed my son had purchased and specially made for the lovely creature before me.

I slid a careful finger under her chin and forced her face upward in effort to make her downcast eyes meet mine. As soon as her eyes met mine, I dropped my hand. It felt like it was on fire just from the scant seconds it had spent next to her skin. What a cruel trick fate had played on us.

Holding her beautifully deep chocolate eyes I spoke. "Bella, you never have to be embarrassed with me. Nothing you could say or do would make me think any less of you. It is what families are for."

"I know that." She said. "But I feel so ashamed Carlisle. Edward is every girls' fantasy and somehow he wants me. For the life of me I cannot figure out why. I know he loves me but I just don't. . .oh listen at me. I am on a roll tonight with the silly and stupid."

"Bella, look at me and listen. Do I have your attention now?" I said threading my fingers through the hair on either side of her face.

She nodded her head quickly so I continued. "Ok, now listen carefully. No question can be silly or stupid unless you refuse to ask it. Now please tell me, what you were going to say."

"Ok, just don't laugh ok? Just for the record, diplomatic father answers aren't allowed either. I am just so sick of being babied."

Damn, she really wasn't going to make this any easier on me.

"I know Edward loves me without a single doubt. But, I cannot help but wonder if he wants me. You know really wants me. "

My shock must have been evident through my carefully constructed mask because a delightfully fragrant blush made its way to her cheeks.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that every time he kisses me, he pulls back. He is so careful and controlled all of the time that I have to wonder if he wants me physically. I know my blood tempts him, but does my body?"

"I don't know what to say."

"He says he will try to consummate our marriage while I am still human but I don't really believe that."

"Have you talked to Edward about this Bella?" I asked her growing more uncomfortable by the second with this conversation.

The thought of Edward not wanting her was a complete joke. I was sure everyone she came across wanted her. By wanting I mean I am sure they want everything about her. Even in her fragile human state, she was the most delectable creature on earth. Edward was the one that was lucky enough to get to keep her for eternity.

"I have tried Carlisle, I have tried." She said earnestly. "Even knowing and understanding his reason doesn't make this any easier."

I was by no means a stupid being but I found myself, for the second time in under an hour, uttering the words "What do you mean?"

" I mean that I still want what he isn't willing or doesn't want to give me."

I knew I shouldn't and had no right to ask but I couldn't seem to help myself. "What would that be Isabella?"

"Now that is a loaded question if I ever heard one."

"Answer it."

"I want to be wanted."

"Bella, we all know Edward wants you."

"Not just that way though. I mean that even if it is only one time while I am human, I want him to want me enough to not pull away. I want someone to want me so much that they would kill to have their mouth on mine."

I nodded and gulped uncomfortably. I would give just about everything I own to be the one to do just that. She turned her hands palm up and continued in earnest.

"You know? I want the heat and the passion and the passion and the complete loss of control that comes with giving yourself over to the intense and helpless want and need of another person. This sounds crazy and I know I will regret saying any of this tomorrow but here goes. I want to be back into a wall and kissed until my legs give way under me. I want to feel hands on my skin touching me like they can never get enough. I want to be wanted in the purest and simplest form. Do you know what I'm saying?"

Uh oh. Truth time was finally here. I knew what I had to do and I hated it, it went against every instinct in my body.

" No Bella I can't say that I do."

Her face fell at my words and I hate doing this to her. She caught my wandering eyes before asking.

"So you don't think it is possible to want someone else. I mean want and maybe love two different people in two completely different ways without demeaning the feelings for either person?"

"I can't answer that because I never have."

I watched as the light went out of her eyes. She crawled to the edge of the bed and threw the covers off of her legs. She slowly got to her feet and shoved her feet into her modest shoes and grabbed her bag before turning back to face me.

" Since I have managed to make a complete and total ass of myself more than once tonight, I think I would like to go home now. Where did he put my keys?"

"You don't have to do this Bella. Don't go. Not like this."

She raised her tear filled eyes to mine and my world skidded to a halt for the second time in over 300 years.

"Yes, I think I do." She said quietly and walked out the door.