I don't sleep well and then I wake to the sound of Angela puking.
"Oh, Sweetheart, I know!" I'm just sick about this myself, although not to that point.
"No, Tony, you don't."
I wake up more. "Angela?" I get out of bed and find her sitting on the bathroom floor. "Sweetheart?"
"Tony, can you help me clean up?"
"Yeah, of course." I get a washcloth and clean her usually beautiful blonde hair and her soft face. Then I help her to her feet. "I know this stuff with the kids is terrible, but you can't let it—"
She shakes her head. "That's not why I threw up."
"Oh. The leftovers?" They reheated OK I thought, but maybe they disagreed with her.
"No, Tony."
"You think it might be the 24-hour flu? I heard that was going around."
"I think it's something that will last more than 24 hours."
We're standing by the bed by now, and I have to let go of her to sink down as it sinks in. "Oh, God, Angela! Not—"
"I'm not sure but I think so."
I start laughing uproariously.
She stares at me. "Well, I didn't expect that reaction."
I try to stop laughing. "I'm sorry, Baby. It's just the timing."
She nods. "Yes."
"Come on, sit next to me." She does, the two of us on the edge of our bed. I stop laughing and take her hand. "How long have you suspected?"
"I didn't, really. I've gotten my hopes up so many times, and my period isn't extremely late. And I am getting closer to perimenopause. But that felt like morning sickness, from what I remember 20 years ago."
I nod. "It sounded like it, from what I remember 23 years ago."
"Yes."
"Oh, Angela!" I kiss her cheek since she hasn't yet brushed after vomiting. "Oh, Baby, this is so wonderful!"
"Yes," she says quietly.
"What's wrong, Sweetheart? I thought you still wanted a baby."
"I did. I do. But, God, Tony, why now?"
"Baby, it's fine. This has nothing to do with the kids'—craziness."
"I suppose. But, oh, what are we going to tell them?"
"The same thing that we would've told them anyway. They'll be happy for us." I don't add, "And maybe having a half-sibling in common will knock some sense into them."
"But Sam just had her baby three months ago."
"So Val gets a little aunt or uncle to play with."
She smiles. "Yes."
"So when do you think it happened?"
Last summer, well, July mostly, we were really trying to conceive. So every time, even if we didn't say anything, we knew it was on our minds. Then after we found out Sam was pregnant, we didn't give up on a baby of our own, but we weren't deliberately trying anymore. Plus, we'd spent July in a beautiful fairytale honeymoon castle, with no cares or responsibilities. Now we're back to worrying about work and the kids, although the most recent worry is not one we anticipated.
Yes, I blame myself for agreeing to go away for so long. I'm not saying that either of the kids set out to seduce the other, but they were left on their own, and Sam was really vulnerable. I'm actually half surprised that they didn't act on it, but maybe it's taken them this long to agree they want to break the taboo. Plus she was still technically married last summer.
"The conception?" Angela's words bring me back to our situation, although I can't forget the kids entirely.
"Yeah. How far along are you?"
"I'm not sure. Like I said, I don't even know if I am pregnant. But it would've been late March I think."
"Spring Break?"
She blushes and smiles. "Yes, probably."
Although Mona has been out of college even longer than I have, she insisted on taking Spring Break from the agency. And Jonathan didn't come home. He and Susan went with some friends to Myrtle Beach. (He figured South Carolina was far enough from Florida that he wouldn't end up partying with his grandmother.) We hadn't seen him since Christmas, not even when Sam's baby was born. He had some lame excuse about wanting to spend Valentine's Day with his girlfriend, but he could've visited after, right?
I thought at the time he was too wrapped up in his first serious relationship to have time for family. But now I wonder if he was too wrapped up in thoughts of a certain family member. Was he avoiding Sam to get over her? If so, it obviously didn't work. And Angela told me last night that Jonathan broke up with Susan two weeks ago.
Anyway, I had the week off from Ridgemont, so I was home a lot during the break. And Angela decided she could work from home then and, well. I guess we made a baby.
"So you're in the second month?"
"Yes, if I am pregnant."
"Wow! Maybe we'll have a Christmas baby!"
"Maybe."
"What's wrong, Sweetheart? I thought you would be excited about this. You wanted it so much last year."
"I know, but last year it was a fantasy. Now it is, or might be, reality. Tony, I'm going to be 45 in a week!"
"Heck of a birthday gift, huh?"
She laughs and shakes her head. "Yes."
"Baby, I know it's risky but remember what you said last summer? You're in good health and you can afford good medical care. And now I have recent practice spoiling a pregnant woman. Only you'll let me pamper you without trying to be independent like Sam, right?"
"I think Dr. Hollis will insist I let you."
"Hey, can you call her today? I want to find out right away!"
"Tony, it's a Saturday. This can wait till Monday."
"OK." But I really want to know, and not just because I could use some distraction from the kids' news. "Hey, how about I buy you a home pregnancy kit?"
"You're going to just waltz into the local drugstore and buy one? What if Joanne Parker's there?"
"Hey, it's not like I was doing this five or ten years ago."
She smiles. "That would've been delicious gossip."
"Yeah." I imitate that bitch Joanne: "Well, Angela, no wonder Tony's the highest-paid housekeeper in the neighborhood!"
Angela laughs and then snuggles against me. "Thank you for cheering me up."
"Thank you for cheering me up."
"You really want to be a father again?"
"I can't say I'm thrilled with Samantha right now, but I won't hold that against our daughter. Or son."
"Right." She sighs. "Tony, is it our fault that this happened?"
"I hope so!"
"No, not the pregnancy. The, the kids."
I sigh. "I don't know. We raised them like siblings, right? Even before we were a couple. It felt like the right thing to do."
She nods. "I remember when I lost my job at Wallace & McQuade—"
"You mean when I lost it for you."
"Well, yes. But it was for the best. Anyway, you said we were a family. There are other women in this neighborhood, including Joanne, who say that their housekeepers and other—"
"Servants?"
"Employees. That they're just like family. But they don't mean it, not really. With us, our attraction aside, it didn't take me long to feel like I'd known you all my life."
"I know, Baby, me, too. I mean, we came from different worlds but our souls understood each other."
"That's lovely, Tony." She kisses my cheek. "I always felt like even if we never got together as a couple, you and I would always be a family. With the kids and Mother."
"Right. But now Sam and Jonathan don't feel like brother and sister."
She sighs. "Yes."
"You know I had a wonderful time with you in Italy. I will always treasure that. But I can't help feeling that if we had stayed home, then the kids wouldn't have gotten so close."
"Perhaps not. But if they have feelings for each other, maybe this would've happened someday anyway, in another form."
"I don't know. I hope not. But I just don't know what to do about it now."
"Neither do I. But I guess we can be grateful they didn't sneak around, keep it a secret. They were honest about it."
"Well, yeah. But they didn't tell us last summer how they felt. They just said they were best friends."
"We kept telling people we were best friends."
"That's not the same thing! Yeah, I didn't think I should date my boss, but it wouldn't have been immoral!"
"If it wasn't immoral, then why did Joanne use the possibility of it in her smear campaign against you?"
"Because people like Joanne see filth everywhere. And you can't compare the two situations! You and I didn't grow up together."
"No, we just kissed when we were children."
"Angela, you're not telling me you're all right with this, are you?"
"No, I'm not all right with this. It's very upsetting. But I do feel sorry for them."
I sigh. "Yeah, I can see that. I don't know, Angela. Let me put it this way, last night didn't exactly go how I hoped."
"I know. Me neither."
We did eat alone, but neither of us was in the mood for romance. We talked and then went to bed, but we just snuggled.
"Tony, lie down."
"Angela, I can't. I can't just clear my mind or—"
"Sh, sh, I know." We both lie down and she snuggles up against me again. "Tony, things are crazy right now. Even by the standards of this family."
I snort. "Yeah."
"But we will get through this. If we're lucky, the kids will get over each other. I'll have a healthy baby. And life will go on, whatever happens. I love you, and that will never change."
I kiss her cheek. "I love you, Angela. Forever and forever. No matter what happens with your kid, or my kid, or our kid."
"Good."
"You want me to fix you breakfast? Or is your stomach still upset?"
"Just juice and coffee."
"Juice and coffee? My son can't live on that!"
"Oh, your son? How do you know it's not my daughter?"
"Maybe it's twins, one of each."
"Oh God!" She gets up quickly and runs to the bathroom.
I think but don't say Well, this is gonna be a fun summer! Then I get up and go hold her hair while she barfs.
