Disclaimer: Not mine, in any way, shape, or form. Not making money from this.

Author's notes at the end.

…:::...

Toska

Chapter 4

…:::...

"Have you found the hidden compartment in the forward cargo bay yet?" Kylo asked as Rey passed his open door.

She wanted to investigate the cause of some worrisome readings coming from the concussion missile launcher, but she halted her forward progress and backed up several steps so she could see him. He was seated on the ground in the middle of the room, his eyes closed. "What hidden compartment?" she asked.

"There's a dented panel with peeling orange paint, all scraped up. Claw marks, tooth marks. Along the floor. Reach in and to the left, behind the pipes."

"And what can I expect to find?" Rey asked suspiciously.

Kylo didn't move from his meditation position. "All manner of things have been stored back there. I know what I'm hoping for, but it could very well be empty."

Rey narrowed her eyes and continued on her way to check on the potentially malfunctioning weaponry.

Almost immediately, alarms began to sound, harsh and constant, accompanied by the muffled rumbles of explosions in a distant part of the ship. Kylo waited, tense, as the lights flickered, the growl of the engines cut out, and the Falcon shuddered around him.

After several minutes, the alarms ceased and the ship seemed to steady, though the engines remained silent.

When the alarms didn't begin again, and the lights powered back on, Kylo assumed the problem had been corrected. He shifted slightly and attempted to meditate again.

His stillness was interrupted, however, when Rey rushed into the room and hurriedly began rifling through the drawers and cabinets on the far wall, her back to Kylo.

She smelled of burnt flesh and accelerant.

Kylo pushed off the floor and approached her, but stopped short when Rey twisted toward him and flung out her arm, leveling a blaster at his chest. "Stay where you are," she ground out through clenched teeth.

Obeying the command, Kylo dropped his gaze to Rey's left arm. It was blistered and blackened from wrist to elbow. Her sleeve was charred, and her hand shook with the pain.

"That looks angry," he commented.

"Back up," Rey demanded, stabbing the blaster in his direction again for emphasis.

Kylo stood his ground. "Or I could just take that weapon from you…" Raising his hands, he pulled at the blaster from his position across the room. It gave a small shudder in Rey's hand before her grip tightened to steady it.

"I don't think so," Rey shot back. Her breaths came fast and heavy, and she hated that she wasn't able to control the physical reaction Kylo was obviously mistaking for weakness. She swallowed hard, trying not to pant. "Now back up," she repeated.

After a moment of listening to nothing but Rey's hard breaths, Kylo gave a small shake of his head. "You know I can stop a blaster bolt? Midair. So even if you pull the trigger-"

"How many can you stop? I could keep pulling this trigger until we find out…?" Rey offered, her eyes narrowed.

Though he didn't back up, Kylo's stance relaxed slightly, and Rey took it as a small sign of acquiescence. She kept the blaster aimed at him while she pawed through drawers of medical supplies. When she'd amassed a pile of gauze, bacta, burn ointment, and bandages, she glanced back at the man across the room. Kylo said nothing, but continued to watch her carefully as she seemed to weigh her options.

Her complete lack of trust appeared to win out over her desire for expedient treatment and relief from the pain in her left arm. She gathered her supplies as best she could, wincing, before finally dropping the blaster to her side and disappearing from the room.

…:::...

Several hours later, Rey walked back into the med bay without ceremony and eased to the ground, sitting with her back against the far cabinets. She sat just beyond the length of Kylo's tether, facing him where he sat on the exam table.

Kylo nodded at the old bottle in her right hand. "I see you found the compartment I mentioned earlier."

Rey sniffed and lifted the bottle to drink some of the contents. She cringed as she swallowed, and set the mystery alcohol down on the floor next to her, leaving her hand draped possessively around the neck of it.

Kylo gestured at the bottle. "May I?" he asked, despite knowing what the answer would be.

Rey ignored the question and sighed. "When we were on Starkiller you brought up my dreams." She looked up at Kylo and held his gaze. "What do you dream of?"

Kylo tilted his head slightly and said nothing.

Yearning for an answer, Rey pushed, clarifying her real question. "How do you sleep at night?" she asked, her eyebrows knitting together. "What do you say to the voice inside you that implores you to be good? I mean… I'm sure the voice is small, and you've done your best to lock it away, but it has to still be there. Do you ever consider doing the right thing?"

"Appealing to the good man you think must still be inside me somewhere is a foolish and futile pursuit," Kylo warned her.

"I know being good isn't always easy-" Rey continued, hitching one knee up and bracing her foot on the floor in front of her. "Is it just too difficult for you? Is it more of an unwillingness to put in the effort? Are bad behavior and violence just the easier way out?"

"You think the path I've chosen was the easy one?"

"Why else would someone choose to be bad?"

Kylo shook his head. "'Good' and 'bad' are too simplistic. They're imagined notions that have no practical place in this world."

"You're telling me you don't even believe in the concept of good and evil?"

Kylo exhaled sharply through his nose and rolled his head to look up at the wall next to him. "It's uninteresting… and not very useful."

Rey stared at him, silently, until he looked back in her direction. He realized quickly that she wasn't disagreeing with him, but instead waiting for him to go into further detail. She was still unwilling to speak to him in order to prompt his continuation, but at least she wasn't arguing with everything he said simply because he said it.

"'Right' and 'wrong' are similarly problematic, because they're a matter of opinion. 'Intelligence' and 'stupidity' are better." Kylo paused before adding, "'Powerful' and 'weak' are the best."

"The best for what?" Rey challenged.

Kylo rolled one shoulder slightly, and Rey regretted her decision to sit on the floor. She was naturally much smaller than Kylo, and his imposing frame suddenly seemed even larger as she looked up at where he sat on the exam table. She should have remained standing.

The idea exhausted her, and she reached for the bottle again, taking a gulp of the terrible liquid.

"You can endeavor to be 'good'," Kylo explained in a low, quiet voice. "But how do you measure that? Define it? If it's not definable, it's also not attainable. Why work toward a goal that can never be achieved? Those are the actions of an unintelligent, naive mind," he finished with disdain ghosting through his words.

"So you strive to be powerful." Rey quirked one eyebrow. "Mentally?" She took Kylo's even stare as agreement. She scanned down the length of him before returning to look him in the eye. "Physically?"

Obviously.

"Emotionally?"

Rey noticed a slight change in Kylo's jawline as he clenched his teeth. Rey opened her mouth to continue her line of inquiry, but before she could make a sound the bottle she held was wrenched from her grasp by an unseen force. It shot across the room and Kylo caught it easily in his open, waiting hand.

Rey watched, quietly frustrated, as Kylo lifted the bottle to his lips to take a mouthful. Setting the drink to one side, he nodded in Rey's direction. "You want to know how I do that. You've done it once, but you haven't been able to recreate it since." Kylo nodded again. "You've tried."

Annoyed at his arrogance, and impatient due to the alcohol, Rey pushed herself to her feet. "When all you exhibit is power, and no reliability, people won't trust you. How could they?" Rey shook her head. "I'll never trust you to teach me anything."

"Then you'll always be weak," he replied calmly.

Rey grabbed a metal jar that rested on the counter next to her and flung it at Kylo. With a practiced, quick gesture, he batted it to the side before it came anywhere near him. He pushed himself off the med bay table and stalked toward Rey. "You think of power as offensive action, but it's defensive as well. If you're the most powerful thing in the room, who's going to hurt you?"

Rey cut her eyes down to Kylo's bandaged flank. "Looks like you've still got some work to do," she said. Picking up another small metal container, she threw it past Kylo, hitting the bottle he'd left sitting on the table behind him. It tipped, spilling its contents over the hard surface, and rolled to the floor where it smashed.

"Enjoy the rest of your drink," Rey said as she left him alone once again.

…:::...

TBC.

A/N: Huh. I really thought they'd be closer to the end of their fight by now, but they just keep saying mean things to each other, and I can do nothing but write it down. They're the bosses here, after all.