Chapter 4
September 1980
Steven Hyde was barely functioning. He dragged himself into the store every morning at the crack of dawn, trying to find some way to squeeze a few more dollars out of the music industry. He'd been surprised to find legal papers on his doorstep just a week after Sam left. $5000 a month for 6 months. That was what she wanted in exchange for his freedom. It was well more than what he earned in his best year up until now. So he took a second job at the local bar on weekends to try and keep up. He'd called her after one month and told her that the kind of money she wanted just wasn't going to happen in Point Place. So she'd agreed to let him stretch out the payments, but the total was still $30,000.
He was so exhausted he almost fell asleep unlocking the door to the store. Behind him he heard a familiar giggle and tried to keep his temper under control.
"Donna, you and Randy need to find a new place to do it. Okay?" he said testily. "I'm trying to pay off Sam and having you two go at it in the store is bad for business."
"Jeez, Hyde, relax. We're just trying to keep things exciting in our relationship!" Donna retorted angrily.
She'd been bitchier than usual lately, even her listeners had noticed. Her time slot had been moved again, and now she had to show up at 4 a.m. to do the morning show 3 days a week. Which meant by noon she was out of the station and on Randy, who was supposed to be working.
"Well, he's not in until noon, so why don't you just-" Hyde stopped short as he realized something was off. "You know his schedule, Donna, why are you here at 6 a.m.? And why aren't you at work?"
Donna's smile slid off her face and she looked like she was going to cry.
"I got fired today," she said softly, "They said I didn't draw in listeners and they need something new and edgy. Plus, I'm sick of Randy right now. He's talking about moving to Minneapolis, and I don't think I want to go."
"Still doesn't explain why you're here, Donna," Hyde said, stonily.
He'd listened to her bitch and complain about this with Foreman, Casey, and now Randy. Nothing was ever good enough for her!
"I was just thinking, Hyde," she said, drawing closer to him, "that we never did get to explore our feelings for each other. Maybe what you and I need is a little one-on-one time. Just to unwind…" and she kissed him, hard and deeply.
Hyde stumbled back into the listening pit's couch, and abruptly leapt up.
"Donna, man, no. Just, no" he said, easing her off him and backing away. "I rode that ride with you, remember? I don't need a return trip."
Donna looked stung and hurt.
"So, what, I'm not good enough for the burnout ex-husband of a Vegas stripper?" she cried, "I…. I…." and she sank onto the floor sobbing her heart out. "What the hell is wrong with me?" she sobbed, "Why does everyone leave me?"
Hyde sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose to try and stave off the migraine he felt coming on and patted her on the shoulder.
"Donna, man, everyone doesn't leave you. You've still got Randy, and Bob, and the Foremans and me. We're all still here. So just calm down" he said in a flat voice. This was the second time this week she'd spouted this same sob story.
"Randy's leaving for Minneapolis. My Dad told me this week that he's tired of the winter here and he wants to move to Florida, and the Foremans haven't spoken to me since SHE left," she spat out.
Hyde stiffened at the venom in Donna's words. Almost reflexively he said, "So you think Jackie is the reason your life is going to crap?"
"Well, no shit, Hyde!" Donna yelled, "She gets all depressed because you and Sam are together and suddenly takes off for parts unknown! She didn't even say goodbye to me! And I was supposedly her 'best friend' according to her. Then you drove Sam off, so I've got nobody to talk to, and I know Kitty and Red blame me for Jackie leaving!"
"Look, Donna, I'm gonna say something. Just once, and then I don't want to ever have this conversation again. Because if I have to say it twice, I'm not going to be nice about it. So here it is- you and I are absolutely the reason Jackie left. We turned on her. I'm still not completely sure why I did, but I'd love to hear your excuse for hanging your best friend out to dry for a stripper you hardly knew. You used to give her such a hard time about her priorities, her superficiality, her personality, her intelligence…hell, I can't remember a time you actually gave her credit for anything! But hear me now- Jackie was smart. She was funny, she was driven and she was fucking fearless. Well… she was until I showed up. I put fear in her, I sowed the seeds of doubt by being who I was when we were together. Whenever she needed a little validation from me I made her feel worthless and needy for it. And when she and I both screwed up in Chicago, I could have been the man I should have been all along. Instead I rode my pity-train all the way to Vegas and brought hell back with me. And even after all we did to her- you, me, and Sam- she still kept trying to reach out to us. And that's what I realized a few days ago. We were so self-centered that we convinced ourselves that she loved us because we were better than her, that she needed us. The truth is that if our lives are crap, it's because we never bothered to be good to the people who were good to us. It was just easier to blame it on them than try."
Donna stared numbly into her hands. She was lost in the mix of Hyde's words and her own thoughts. The last year had been hell for her. The balance of power she'd always tried to maintain in her and Eric's relationship had shifted when he left for Africa. It was like he'd realized that he was worth a lot more than she had been giving him. She nearly choked when the epiphany struck her- she'd acted like Hyde to Eric. She'd kept him wanting, always making sure that he knew he 'didn't deserve' her, giving him just enough to keep him hanging on. But, like Jackie, he'd had his breaking point. She didn't know when exactly it had happened, but she had felt it when he said goodbye at the airport. He had kissed her, looked at his plane, and his eyes had lit up with a wild happiness. She'd been scared when she got home, had tried to be extra kind in the first recording Kitty made so he'd remember that she was far better than whatever new adventure he was having. But it hadn't worked. He'd ended their relationship just 2 months later.
"Yeah," Hyde nodded, like he'd just heard all her thoughts out loud, "So now that you get where I'm at, and where you're at, how about we agree to not fuck with each other's heads… or other parts?"
"Yeah, okay," she mumbled. She picked herself up off the floor and turned to go. "Hey Hyde,…" she started.
"What?" he asked.
"Do you think he'd ever take me back? If I showed him how sorry I was?" she asked.
Hyde took off his glasses and looked at her full in the face.
"The thing is, Donna, are you saying sorry so you can have him back? Or are you saying sorry so he can finally be happy? 'Cause he'll know the difference, even if you don't."
With that, she left. Unsure what Hyde meant, but determined to find out.
Hyde turned back to the store. He wanted to go over some numbers and see if a promotional sale would bring in some business from Kenosha. He just needed to get out from Sam's thumb. He needed to be free to start over again.
