"Otabek, again!" His trainer shouted, ignoring the tiredness of the skater that could barely breathe. "If you work you might win the nationals" The Kazakh nodded and pursued the Salchow again, feeling the sweat dripping down his back. It was the fifth hour on the ice and he had to keep going for the days he missed the training because of college. He was studying with no frequency but he still wanted to ace all his exams so it was hard to keep the balance. After another half an hour he heard a "stop" shouted and he almost fell, finding equilibrium once he reached the fence. He grabbed a prepared towel and began to rub it over his head and neck to make sure he wouldn't catch a cold, looking to see what the other skaters were doing. They were competing at other levels but they were still good and each one of them could become a great enemy in the future.

Ever since he came back from Sankt Petersburg he's been training harder and it probably had something to do with Yuri who was pushing himself so hard to perform at his best. He sat down on the bench and began to drank water while checking his phone. He had no message and that made him uncomfortable for Yuri and him had been texting all day long ever since they parted. He checked to see he sent the morning message and it was indeed sent but there was no reply so he furrowed his brows. He was sure the blonde wasn't pissed at him because he had no reason and the first thing that came inside his mind was that something happened so he dialled his number and waited a little nervous for the few tones to ring. No answer. He opened the Instagram and checked his account, seeing there was no picture either.

"Oi, Otabek!" He looked up to see it was Sasha, a friend with whom he used to train on weekends. "Done already?"

"I will stay around some more" he muttered and wrote another message, directing it to Yuri: "Call me when you can". He was a moody teen, he knew that and now that puberty hit him it was even harder for him – he had to deal with body changes and how to work with them on ice and in ballet and he was also exhausted from all the work.

"You're spending a lot of time on your phone lately" Otabek shrugged and the girl sat next to him. "You should get out of the house too" He wasn't exactly a party animal, he could barely deal with the parties at the end of competitions but it was true he spent more time inside than outside in the last weeks, it was because he was so tired after he was done with training that he wasn't in the mood to go out, all he wanted was to talk to Yuri and sleep. "Let's meet tonight, come over to my place and we will see a movie"

He wasn't sure he wanted that but in the end the girl pursued him into coming over and they fixed the hour so it wouldn't be too late or too early. Ever since childhood Sasha has been by his side so that was at least he could do for her, to spend some time with her. He was oblivious to the girl's feelings, he's always been. By the time he reached home he had no sign from Yuri so he took a shower and wrote an essay before packing his things and taking his motorbike to the other part of town where Sasha was living. She was also living alone so he didn't bother to call ahead, he simply knocked on the door once he got there and a fairly undressed girl answered it, looking innocently as brown curls fell over her naked shoulders, shown by her crop top. She wasn't looking like she was ready for a sleepover, she looked like someone who was ready to party.

"Hi! Come in" he stepped in and dropped his backpack so he could undress, stepping inside the familiar place and heading for the living room where the DVD player was already prepared.

"What're we watching?" It was smelling of fresh flowers.

"Legend" He remembered Yuri telling him about this movie, he had seen it in cinema with Mila when they were in UK and the boy really enjoyed it. He was curious about it for a time now so he accepted and took his leather jacket off, placing it on the sofa. "Do you want some coffee?"

"Yes, please" He was a coffee person, he was enjoying it every part of the day and he was never refusing one. It was not good to drink so much but he couldn't help himself sometimes. She brought a trail with two cups of coffee and some biscuits and then turned towards him, tying her hair as her blue eyes were fixing the skater.

"So how are you?" She got progressively closer to the point when he was uncomfortable. She already knew how his life was going but there were other things she wanted to discuss. Soon the atmosphere was a little lighter and they were even laughing from time to time. They were drinking beer now so with a dizzy mind his mouth began to run and they began to talk about their experiences with other skaters, the awkward moments behind the scenes. "What about Yuri Plisetsky?" Otabek straightened his back.

"What about him?"

"How is he?" Otabek sighed, it was hard to talk about Yuri because he had no definition yet and he wasn't sure the other skater wanted him to talk about their friendship. By his reaction Sasha understood it was a no-go subject so she smiled and offered to bring another beer. Because of the tiredness Otabek was already slightly drunk so he leaned against the pillow and closed his eyes, thinking about resting a bit. "Beka" He liked the sound of that but that was not Yuri's voice so his eyes snapped open and he saw the girl. "Move to the bedroom if you want" He shook his head.

"It's too early" They were discussing Olympics when his phone rang and Sasha said she was heading to the bathroom. He looked at the screen and saw it was an unknown phone number but he answered, thinking it could have been someone he was working with. At the other end was a hard breathing and he could almost figure out half-sobs from time to time. "Hello?" he asked and there was a sigh.

"Beka" Yuri mumbled and there was a sound like he tripped over something and the phone fell from his hand. The panic inside Otabek was constantly growing so he got up, like he was ready to leave and drive all the way to Russia.

"Yuri?" No answer. "Yuri, what happened? Where are you?" The anxiety hit the roof when the other answered.

"I am outside, I just tripped and fell in the snow" There was still heavy snow in the biggest country on Earth, it was known to be one of the coldest places. His voice was shaking and he didn't know how to react to this. "It's been the shittiest fucking day"

"Why? Why are you not home?"

"Cause I don't want to be fucking home!" Yuri shouted and Otabek frowned. The boy loved his Grampa so it had to be something really bad if that's how he felt. "Can you talk?"

"Yes, what happened?" He sat back down, trying to calm himself down. The blonde didn't have the chance to say anything cause Sasha came back and shouted from the door.

"Beka, we should go to sleep, we have training tomorrow" Otabek made her a sign to shut up but it was already too late and there was silence on the other end of the phone. Before he opened his mouth the call ended and he looked at the screen confused. He dialled the number again but he couldn't reach it and it became clear Yuri blocked him.

Yuri Plisetsky woke up that day like usual, he did his routine and even added a few more exercises before his run. He then went to school, he was a little unsure about it; he was not fond of studying but he couldn't completely ignore it because he knew he would disappoint his grandfather by doing so. Nikolai prepared him some good-luck piroschkis and he was gone, unprepared for all the classes. He was on the way to school when someone bumped into him and he would have swore at the person if he wouldn't have dropped his phone on the cold ground.

His phone, his pride, his only connection to the outside world was now facing downwards and he was too panicked to pick it up. Once he did though, he saw it was smashed in little pieces and it wouldn't turn on. Perfect start.

The time went by smoothly and it wasn't until the lunch break that everything became to fall apart. He was eating by himself, as usual, when he heard some guys talking and picked up his apple, biting from it.

"He won gold, didn't he?" Of course he did and he worked hard for it.

"Yea, but gold is for no use when you're a freak" another one said and they all burst into laughter. "He has no friends, he thinks he is high and mighty" That fucktard was right, he was better than anyone who could talk like that.

"I think he is actually boring. He's not good at anything besides skating" Other said and he looked at them, offering them a hard stare. He couldn't make a scene but he wasn't far from doing so. When they noticed they were heard one of them got up and went to sit at his table, followed closely by the others. He was the big-ass monkey type.

"What's the matter, Plisetsky, do you think you're better than us? Medals won't keep you company, loser" He continued and Yuri gave him a bored glance. It was not that he didn't want to punch him but he was tired and a fight was the last thing he needed. "What? We're not good enough for you to talk to us?"

"I don't want to reduce my IQ by talking to you" Yuri muttered and felt a hand grabbing him by the hoodie and pulling him behind.

"For such a small fellow you have some nerve"

"Fuck you, bastard!" He yelled, more annoyed for his hoodie than anything else. It was one of his favourites, the one with a cheetah print all over. He got up and observed everyone inside the cafeteria was staring at him so he went towards the bathroom where he felt his knees getting weaker. He got inside a bathroom stall and rested his back against the door, trying to regain his composure. It was not the time to break down, they were just some losers who don't know anything about him. Of course he had no fucking friends if no one approached him, what were they – retarded? He was too busy with competitions for silly talks, he was the pride of Russia. He repeated that a few times before he put his hard look back on and got out, prepared for the next couple of hours. He couldn't wait to get on ice and relax a little, he needed that.

"Yuri, you're late!" Yakov yelled and he rolled his eyes. Mila was inside the changing room herself and she smiled at him once he got in.

"What's with that face, shrimp?" He rose his phone for her to see it and she winced. "I think I have an old one around, if you want it. You can give it back when you fix yours" The girl looked inside her locked and offered him something similar to a brick . Well, it was better than nothing.

"Thanks"

"Off to ice, dwarf" He grinned and showed her his middle finger before rushing to the rink where he began his short program. A few hours later Yakov told him he should stop but he announced he wanted another hour. He was still pissed and he didn't want to think about it and on top of that he couldn't speak to Otabek because he had no internet and didn't know his number.

"Cut it!" Yakov yelled but he was too absorbed to pay any attention so when the pain began he fell flat on the ground, wondering what was going on. It was a pulled muscle, he knew the sensation for he experienced it before but he winced as it was insufferable. "Fuck!" He shouted and Yakov and Mila hurried to him.

"Stay still, I'll call the paramedics" Soon they came and they confirmed he had a few muscles from his groin pulled and that meant he couldn't skate for at least three weeks. He asked about ballet but it was the same situation. He couldn't believe this was happening to him so he felt his eyes burning with unshed tears when Yakov called his Grampa to come and pick him up.

In the car he stood silent and Nikolai knew it was not his place to say anything so he put some music and patiently got him home where he closed himself inside the room. He got on his laptop and asked Viktor for Otabek's number and saved it but never sent a message because he was crushed, he felt like everything was taken away from him. The doctor told him they were lucky it was only pulled muscles and he landed well otherwise one of his legs could have been ruined. He had his head buried in the pillows when the door opened and he didn't bother to raise it, knowing it was probably his grampa bringing him tea.

"Yuratchka" the old man muttered and the teen finally got up, careful not to move too sudden. The man caressed his beard and Yuri realized he must be anxious about something. "You needed a break"

"No I didn't" he said hurried and almost spiteful, feeling sorry as soon as he ended. "It's all I am good at, it's all I know"

"That's not true" He couldn't change his mind, he knew that. Ever since Nikolai's daughter and Yuri's mother left all the kid knew was work, he wanted the best scores in everything, it was his way of coping with the pain. "This is for you" He offered him his monthly letter from his mother and Yuri threw it on the ground, not even looking at it.

"I don't need this now"

"She wants to see you" The boy looked at him dumbfounded. "I told her she can come and see you today"

"What?" Yuri yelled and Nikolai furrowed his grey brows, worried. "When did you start deciding these things for me? I don't fucking want to meet that bitch"

"Yuri, language!" His grampa admonished. "I know you are mad but there is no need for such words. As long as you are living under my roof you won't talk like that" The blonde looked at him shocked by what he was hearing. So it was his house now, was it? It was not theirs.

"Then have a good fucking life!" He got up hardly and ignored the pain as he grabbed a hoodie put his shoes on, ready to face the winter on his own.

"Yuratchka!" the man tried but he was a tornado and he couldn't be caught once he opened the door. He ran outside, tears rolling down his cheeks much to his annoyance. The last time when he cried he won gold but now it was different, it was a cry of frustration because everyone let him down today. The snowflakes made his vision blurry but he got his phone out and dialled Otabek's number, hurrying towards the ice-rink that he knew it was closed. He didn't know what he was going to say, all he knew was that he needed to talk to someone. No, he needed to talk to Otabek. He was surprised when he called him Beka because it sounded desperate but he didn't take it back, not until he heard a girl's voice with clear intentions: they were going to sleep. It couldn't be his sister because she said something about training so the only reaction was to end the call and turn his phone off. He didn't want Otabek anymore, he didn't want anyone, he was used to loneliness. He knew how to deal with things on his own, after all that's what he's been doing all his life.

The ice-rink was closed, it was past any training hour and the sky was pitch black. He knew the backdoor entrance so he tried it but there was no chance. His leg began to hurt worse and he swore under his breath, rubbing the tears off his face with the back of his hands. There was a window Yakov always left opened so he tried it and it was indeed accessible so he opened it wide and climbed inside, closing it behind him. Until tomorrow morning he could stay there. He found another hoodie in his locker and put it on, feeling all too cold and then curled on a bench, trying to cease his trembling.

He knew he was selfish but no one knew what he was going through. Everyone saw him as the winner, the Russian punk but no one took in consideration the fact that he was an overwhelmed 15 years old who had the world's expectations on his shoulders. He turned his phone on and saw he had 16 missed calls from Otabek and a few texts.

Beka: Why don't you answer your phone?

Beka: Where are you?

Beka: Yuri, everyone is really worried.

Beka: I called Mila and your grampa.

"Fuck" he muttered.

Yuri: Mind your own fucking business.

He wanted to turn off the phone again, he knew it was not a good idea but when the phone rang he sighed and answered.

"Yura?" There was a pause in which he felt tears gathering again at the corner of his blue-greenish eyes. He hated this fucking feeling and he hated Otabek and his stupid nicknames. The other skater heard the muffled sobs so he began to panic even more. "Yuri, it's alright, tell me where are you" No answer. Otabek was in the same livingroom and Sasha was watching him curious but he couldn't care less, all he wanted was to know what happened to his friend. "Your grampa told me about your training, he is really worried. You should go home"

"No!" he shouted in the cold and empty room.

"Don't be a child" He sighed and ran his fingers through his short hair. "You're all he has, he's worried sick. And you can't spend the night out in the open" He had a point, that was for sure but he still couldn't get the reason why Yuri was so upset. "You need proper rest to heal"

He knew but he couldn't bring himself to say that the other boy was right but he couldn't say he wasn't either, instead he kept the silence, looking at the walls around him. He didn't know what he wanted. He remembered being four or five and having his favourite toy broken. Back then his grampa told him he should close his eyes and imagine a flower bloom, taking a big breath as he did so. He told him everything was going to be alright. Otabek didn't make a sound, he let Yuri be, not sure what he should say next; that until the boy's face was dry and he gulped, trying to cease his burning throat.

"What the fuck I'm gonna do with pulled muscles?"

"Come and visit" Otabek offered biting his pointing finger, anxious. He always wanted to ask Yuri to come and now that he was off training it was perfect. And Christmas was coming and it would have been nice to spend it together.

"I can't leave Grampa alone on Christmas" He was right. "You can come and visit if you want, I'll show you the remains of Sankt Petersburg" his voice was hoarse and he coughed so he would regain his powers.

"Would Yakov let me train there?" Of course he would, that was a silly question. He knew his family wouldn't be very happy if they heard he wasn't spending Christmas with them and instead fled to another country but he knew Yuri needed a distraction and honestly, he wanted to see him again, even if it's only been two months. He couldn't leave now but he had winter break in a week and he could make it until the first day of Christmas.

"Yea, I'll talk to him"

"But you have to go home now" Yuri let a soft sigh out.

"Give me half an hour"

"Promise me you will go home after half an hour"

"Okay" he mumbled and wondered if it was alright for him to ask Otabek to stay on the phone with him. It probably wasn't so he let the idea go. "Where are you?"

"At a friend's. She's a fan of yours, a Yuri's Angel" Sasha gave him an enthusiastic nod.

"Say hi to her." Otabek let the phone down and said that to the girl that waved. "Have fun" he felt a big empty space inside his chest thinking that Otabek was a pretty popular guy. I mean sure, he was not a social butterfly but he had more than one friend, unlike Yuri.

"Text me when you get home."

"Okay" He hung up then and after an entire hour of staring around and trying to figure out what he was going to say once he got home he began his walk back, a lot slower than when he came. The pain was there and it was acute, he was ashamed of what he did to his grandpa and he was ashamed that he showed that part of him to anyone. It was simply a bad day and he knew better ones were ahead – Otabek was going to visit, they were going to spend time together, he would meet his grandpa. Thinking of such things he got back home where the lights were still on. He didn't knock, he got in and left his shoes in place before entering the living room where Nikolai was sitting on his usual armchair, looking straight forward, almost without blinking.

"I'm home" Yuri muttered and the old man turned to him, startled.

"Where have you been?" The boy sat on the sofa and sighed.

"At the rink" The old man looked very tired and almost aged so Yuri bit his lip worried. "I am sorry I took it out on you" The old man nodded and motioned him to come closer so he could rub his head.

"I am sorry too for acting without asking you first. I told your mother you don't want to see her" He felt relieved when he heard that and he leaned into the touch, enjoying the comforting feeling growing inside him as Nikolai brushed his blonde strands with his fingers. He knew he was forgiven. "You should go and rest, you have school tomorrow"

"Goodnight" he got up slowly and smiled when he heard the reply. Nikolai had a lot on his mind, that was part of the reason he sent Yuri to sleep. He was worried about what was going on with his daughter that was suddenly showing interest for the son she abandoned and he was worried about Yuri's state of mind for he was pressured by every party and puberty wasn't helping him at all.

Once he sat on the bed next to Sofyia, Yuri texted Otabek.

Yuri: Home already. G'night

Beka: Good night, Yura

A few minutes passed.

Beka: My flight is on 19th

In the darkness of the room, Yuri Plisetsky couldn't contain his smile.

Author's note: Thank you for your lovely reviews, they make me so happy ∩(︶▽︶)∩ You are awesome! I will try to upload every Thursday Thanks for reading!