Amour Neaveau Ch 4

The drive home from the Valentine's dance was almost unbearable. We were completely silent until Garrett pulled the Jeep into my driveway. We sat there; completely silent for what seemed like forever until Garret finally broke the silence.

"So that was…him?" He asked, staring straight ahead without looking anywhere near me.

"Yes. That was…"I struggled for a moment. "Edward." We were both silent again.

"And now…" He still wouldn't look in my direction.

"And now what, Garrett?" I spat the words out a little harsher than I expected, but I was too upset to apologize. He finally turned and looked straight into his eyes.

"Are you going to leave me and go back to him?"

"What?!" I was shocked by the question. Yes, I had loved Edward and part of me always would, but I loved and needed Garrett now, too. I thought he knew that.

There was a slight twinge in my heart but I ignored it and tried to continue.

"Garrett…I can't believe you could think that of me."

I unbuckled my seatbelt and crawled over to him. I pulled my dress up to the top of my thighs so I could straddle his lap. I sat there with one leg on either side of his and my chest pressed closely against him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and our faces were less than an inch apart. I pulled him closer and closer, unconsciously trying to make myself feel something that was slightly not there.

"Garrett. I love you. More than I could possibly ever tell you. I would probably be a zombie right now, or worse if I hadn't met you. I cried myself to sleep for months and months. I woke up every night screaming at the top of my lungs from terrifying nightmares. I didn't eat. I didn't sleep. I never talked or smiled….and then I met you. I could feel my self grow warm again. I was smiling and laughing again. Laughing, Garrett! You saved me. I love you. I do." To my ears it sounded like I was trying to convince myself, but Garrett didn't seem to notice. I pressed onward.

I looked earnestly into his eyes. The hazel was swirling with love. Love for me.

"Forever, Bella?" I smiled and nodded, but I could feel the tiniest bit of hesitation in my movements.

"…Forever."

Finally, he took my lips with passion unlike anything I had ever felt…from Garrett. My lips curved upward into a smile against his and I ran my tongue along his bottom lip. Garrett slowly lowered me onto my back on the seat and lowered himself on top of me. I felt safe and comfortable in his arms. It felt…right. But then I came to my senses.

"Garrett! What are we doing?!" He jumped backward, looking very startled.

"What is it? Did I do something wrong?"

"No…no you didn't do anything wrong." I smiled, but for some reason had the eerie feeling that someone was watching me.

"We almost did something wrong. Do you realize where we are? MY DRIVEWAY! Charlie is in there. He could see us. He would blow up if he saw you and me going at it in the front seat of your Jeep!!"

Garrett lifted one brow at my word choice of going at it but I tried to ignore him.

"Well, at least he hasn't seen us yet or he'd already be out here with his shotgun." He laughed, but I could see the slightest bit of panic in his eyes.

"Garrett…" I said slowly, already feeling the blood rushing to my cheeks.

"Yeah?"

"Your mom is out of town right? For that conference thing?"

"Yeah…" Garrett repeated, his eyebrows knitting together.

"Well, why don't we get out of here before my dad sees us and then I can call Charlie and tell him that I'm sleeping over with Hannah and really…" I flushed crimson. "…be sleeping over with…." Garrett's eyes got huge. "…with…you." After a painfully awkward moment, Garrett wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close.

"Bella, are you sure that's what you want?" I supposed it was what I wanted or I wouldn't have suggested it, right?

"More than anything." I needed it more than anything. I needed it to scourge away these odd doubts that had been plaguing my mind since we left the Valentine's dance.

He kissed me again and pulled back out of the driveway.

As we sped away, I felt the slightest shiver run up my spine. It still felt like someone was watching.

Edward's POV

I watched my Bella's face harden as she recognized me. My heart clenched at the pain I saw etched into her every feature. Then she spoke the words that made my heart stop. (Figuratively, of course.)

"I have nothing to say to you." She spun on her heel, the human boy's hand in hers. She raced out of the gym. I followed the black Jeep I assumed was his, running swiftly through the shadows on the side of the road. I watched as they pulled into the driveway.

This was my chance. She would get out of her car, he would leave, and I would sneak up to her room and finally get a chance to explain the reasons for my terrible actions.

But that's not what happened. They sat silently in the car for a moment, unmoving. I started to get worried until he broke the silence.

"So that was…him?" Bella nodded to his question. He asked her what she was going to do now, if she would leave him for me. I edged closer, trying to hear her answer more clearly.

I didn't know what to expect. I wanted her to be happy and if it was with …Garrett. So be it. Though I truly would prefer her with me.

"Garrett. I love you." I could feel my heart rip.

"More than I could possibly ever tell you. You are my life." I felt my body go rigid with sadness.

"I would probably be a zombie right now or worse, if I hadn't met you. I cried myself to sleep for months and months. I woke up every night screaming at the top of my lungs from terrifying nightmares. I didn't eat. I didn't sleep. I never talked or smiled….and then I met you." Wait a minute. What was she talking about? Why had she hurt herself like that?

"I could feel my self grow warm again. I was smiling and laughing again. Laughing, Garrett! You saved me. I love you and I want to be with you forever." Though I couldn't hear Bella's thoughts as she ripped my heart to pieces, I could hear the boy's.

I could kill that guy for hurting her this badly. I saw an image flash through his mind. That of Bella sitting in a shoe store, trying on sandals. She was beautiful as always, but even I could tell that she was a mess. She had lost weight that she didn't have to lose. There were deep blue crescents under each eye and her soft, creamy cheeks were sunken, giving her a hollow appearance. Just the sight of her sent my conscious wheeling. How could I profess my love for this angel yet, cause her such great pain? I truly was the monster I had tried so hard to keep away. In Garrett's thoughts were a million reasons why I should turn and run. Why I should leave Bella alone, for good. However, I just couldn't make myself move.

They began to kiss and I had to look away. I just couldn't stand it. He was kissing her in a way that I was never able, in a way that would have been impossible being what I am.

"Garrett! What are we doing?!" Bella shouted suddenly, and Garrett seemed to jump back in surprise.

"What is it? Did I do something wrong?" Yes…you touched my Bella.

"No…no you didn't do anything wrong." From this distance I couldn't be positive, but it seemed like Bella looked a bit nervous. She glanced around and I felt myself shrink back further into the greenery.

"We almost did something wrong. Do you realize where we are? MY DRIVEWAY! Charlie is in there. He could see us. He would blow up if he saw you and me going at it in the front seat of your Jeep!!" If I was human, I'm sure I would have vomited right there. Bella going at it with any other man was terrible thought to endure.

The boy seemed amused at Bella's choice of words, yet his thoughts belied his carefree seeming attitude. He was reacting to Bella's being so close and just thought of them going at it made his blood boil.

"Well, at least he hasn't seen us yet or he'd already be out here with his shotgun." Bella said, giggling nervously.

"Garrett…" She began.

"Yeah?" Garrett was having a hard time concentrating on Bella's words.

"Your mom is out of town right? For that conference thing?"

"Yeah…" He was confused at what she could be getting at, but I instantaneously knew were this was headed. I prayed that I was wrong.

"Well, why don't we get out of here before my dad sees us and then I can call Charlie and tell him that I'm sleeping over with Hannah and really…" Even from here I could smell the savory blood that puddled in my angel's cheeks. "…be sleeping over with…." Garrett finally got the hint and I was proved correct. "…with…you." I could feel the excitement build up in the boy instantly and watched as he pulled Bella to himself, kissing her again.

"Bella, are you sure that's what you want?" He asked after a moment.

"More than anything." I finally pulled myself away. She wanted him. It was obvious. And I couldn't blame her one bit. I had pained her and hurt her near the point of insanity. Now, she could be with this boy in ways she would never have the opportunity to with me.

I watched as Garrett backed the Jeep out of Charlie's driveway and they drove away. Bella glanced backward one last time as they sped off and it almost felt as if she were looking for me.

I quickly made up my mind. I would follow. I had to make sure my beautiful Bella would be all right.