Disclaimer: I own nothing…
Summary: When their daughter is taken from them, Temperance shuts down and Seeley walks away… Only to discover that it may have been the biggest mistake of his life… (AU, Futurefic)
Rating: PG-13
Author's Notes: Here's the next chapter… Sort of the second part to the last one. It's short, just like I said it would be, but this is another one where I just couldn't add to it without ruining it, so it is what it is… Hope it's not too disappointing…
Again, the lyrics here are from "The Moment I Said It" by Imogen Heap.
And thank you to my reviewers and anyone else who has been taking the time to read this fic. I really appreciate it, and I hope you continue to enjoy it. :-)
Losing You:
No hesitation
No I've never seen you like this,
And I don't like it
I don't like it
I don't like it at all
When he had awoken and she had still been there, in his arms, he had imagined that everything would be okay with time. When she had kissed him good morning, something she hadn't done since they had lost Hanna, he had believed they were well on their way to healing. When she had refrained from calling him Booth, something she only did when she was avoiding painful issues, he had thought things were getting just a little bit better. When she had kissed Parker on the forehead and told him she loved him before he had gone to drop their son off with Rebecca, he had been sure that they could work through it all together, as a family…
And nothing could have ever prepared him for what he had come home to later in the afternoon…
The moment I said it,
The moment I opened my mouth
Lead in your eye lids,
Bulldozed the life out of me
"What the hell are you doing?!" The disbelief that laced his tone dripped with anger, and she didn't even bother to turn to him, instead opting to continue exactly what she had been doing; boxing up Hanna's things for Goodwill.
"She's dead, Booth. She's dead and she's never coming back. There's no reason to keep these things." Her tone was cold, emotionless, as she kept her eyes from him. She had known that he would feel this way. But it was stupid and pointless, and so she had gone ahead and begun packing things up… When her fingers closed around the soft fabric of Hanna's favorite doll, though, she hesitated for just a moment, a flood of memories suddenly overpowering her.
"Hanna-Banana! I think you oughtta come down here! Mommy's got a present for you!" She could hear her husband's laughter at her sing-song tone, and she flashed him a smile before turning her eyes back to the stairs when she heard her daughter's enthusiasm at the prospect in the way she came barreling down the steps.
Her little eyes were wide and curious as she skidded to a stop in front of her mother, her little arms outstretched in expectation. "What is it?"
There was an awe in her voice that her mother couldn't quite help chucking at as she knelt before the child, pulling a homemade doll out of the bag she held and offering it to Hanna.
Temperance couldn't help but smile as her daughter gasped out an awed "wow", her little eyes suddenly wider and her mouth a perfect 'o' shape as she examined the doll her mother had brought for her. "She's so pretty. I love her mommy!"
Tempe caught Hanna as the little girl launched herself into her arms and hugged her tight. Still leaning against her mother, Hanna pulled back to study the doll as Temperance pushed her hair back out of the way, her own eyes studying her daughter's thoughtful expression. After a moment, Hanna turned those big, curious eyes to her mother again and asked in a voice full of question, "What's another name for 'pretty'?"
"Bella." Tempe whispered to her, a soft smile playing over her lips as Hanna's eyes moved back to the doll in her hands.
"Bella." Hanna nodded her approval, a smile of her own suddenly blooming from the concentration that had only just moments before creased her features. "That's what I'll call her. Bella."
No hesitation
Oh, I've never seen you like this
You're scaring me
You're scaring me
You're scaring me to death
Before the emotion could overtake her, however, Temperance let the doll fall into the box she held and when her eyes met with those of her husband's, she knew that it had been the final straw… He was infuriated and it only took him a moment to rip the box from her grasp, tears glistening behind his eyes.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" The pain in his voice was obvious, and she turned to him, though her eyes never actually met with his. "She was our daughter, Temperance! Did she really mean that little to you?! What kind of mother are you?!"
"She's dead, Booth. Dead." Her own anger had taken hold, and her eyes had finally found his, daring him to challenge her again. "There's nothing left of her but a casket full of bones! She's dead."
"And you're a heartless bitch." He was mumbling now and he pushed past her, dumping the contents of the box onto the bed. "I don't know what the hell ever made me think you could be a mother."
And it stung. Hearing her own husband call her a bad mother hurt more than anything she had ever felt before… It was worse than losing Hanna, because at least with Hanna, even through her illness, the little girl had never looked at her with anything less than love in her eyes... But apparently she hadn't deserved it.
As tears gathered in her eyes, she turned away from him, crossing her arms defensively over her chest and trying her best to keep her voice from wavering. "If you hate me so damn much, then why don't you just get the hell out."
"Don't worry." He agreed, never once turning to her as he busied himself with Hanna's things. "I'll be gone by morning."
I'm losing you, I'm losing you
Trust me on this one
I've got a bad feeling,
Trust me on this one
And when she awoke the next morning, he was gone, just as he had promised… And with a flood of tears finally beginning to slip from her eyes, she collapsed onto Hanna's bed, Bella clutched tightly to her chest…
And, for the first time since her daughter's death, she cried.
You're gonna throw it all away
With no hesitation
