Title: Letters of Tomorrow

Warnings: Mystery, Drama, Kakashi Gaiden Fillers, eventually, Violence

Disclaimer: I do not own this original piece of work, neither do I gain financially from it~

Author's Notes: Spring Edit 2011

Answers to Reviews on the bottom! Thanks for the encouragement! It looks like this fiction at least will be finished! Gentle Lesson's last chapter is being updated as well!


Letters of Tomorrow: The Sequel

Walking Through Shadowland

"Oh I don't understand
How by the touch of your hand
I would be the one to fall
Oh, I miss the little things
I miss the simple things
Oh, and I miss everything, everything about you"
- Sarah Mclachlan

Summer slowly faded into fall. Fall blended like watercolour painting into white winter and then bloomed bright in spring. Before Kakashi knew it, a year had passed since the end of last Great War. It amazed the young Jounin how the seasons seemed so unchanging – despite war and the bloodshed. The blood which soaked into the earth. There was something comforting that some things could never change. Like the inevitability of fall, the short burst of birth in the spring, the heat of summer and the cleanliness of winter. After training with Rin, the small team went out on an easy mission to the farm.

A good place, Kakashi thought, as he dragged out each fence plank through the hard dirt, carefully stepping past the cow pats. Stinky... but at least it's fresh... Glancing at Rin, who was working on filling the horse trough with hay, Kakashi wondered if he should try to be a bit more friendly to his teammate. There's something kinda... sad... about her...

Obito...

His small shoulders slumped at the memory of the loud-mouthed, impetuous ninja who had saved his life.

You would would have loved it here...

At quarter to twelve, Kakashi called a lunch break and the two ninjas sat on a blanket Rin had thoughtfully packed and enjoyed the serene scenery. Well, mostly enjoyed the scenery. Kakashi was busy beating himself up mentally for his thoughtlessness.

You should've been the one to think of the blanket! You're the team captain! How thoughtless can you get, Kakashi? Why is Rin always having to think up these things?

"I like it here," Rin said, breaking the silence with a quiet sigh.
"Yeah..." Kakashi lamely agreed, wondering if Rin was going to be mad at him.

He glanced sideways at the girl.

No. Of course not. She's never mad at you. Even when she should be...

It made his mouth feel a bit bitter, his shoulders tensed. The grey-haired Jounin jumped three inches in the air when a small hand squeezed his shoulder.

"R-r-ri-rin!"
"Sorry! Sorry! I thought you looked a little... down... You're so tense!"
"Yeah... sorry... I'm glad I wasn't eating anything there..."
"I"m glad too."
"Well, you could save me though. As a medic, I'm sure you know all the manoeuvres..." Kakashi turned to glare at the green grass surrounding Rin's pink and green checkered picnic blanket. "...for scenarios with... choking..." He added, feeling even more inadequate than ever.
"You mean, I know better than to hit someone on the back?"
"Yeah... that kind of thing..."
"Kakashi... Some thing is bothering you. You can share it with me, if you want..."

Kakashi began to tear up the grass.

"I thought we were friends," Rin said softly. "Hey! What did the grass do to you?" Her joke fell flatter than a pancake.
"Sorry..." Kakashi let the shredded greenery go and sighed again. "I just feel so dumb, you know... I forgot the picnic blanket... and it just seems like I can never get things right."
"Well, you need to relax a bit... enjoy making a few mistakes."
"But if this was war –"
"But it isn't." Rin rolled her eyes. "And, Kakashi, if we forgot our picnic blanket on the battlefield, I'm sure the Hokage would understand."
"Are you laughing at me?"
"Not yet," said the red-headed medic. "But soon, if you keep it up."

Kakashi turned fully and realized that there was a smile on her face and he smiled weakly back at her. At least she didn't seem so sad now. For a short while, she would be able to forget Obito and enjoy his company. He could never fill in for Obito, but he would try his hardest to make her happy.

It's my promise. I will always feel indebted to them... and I don't feel worthy to be with her... Maybe I won't ever be normal... never get a girl like the heroes in Icha Icha... but... if she needs me to be there for her... I always will... I'll never let her go, Obito. I promise.

"So I met another medic the other day," Rin said tentatively. "He seemed nice."
"He?"
"Yeah... he... asked me out..." Rin's fingers plucked at her medic's apron nervously. "Do you... do you think I should go?"
"If it makes you happy," Kakashi said, eyes curved up in a smile, then his eyes quickly narrowed. "And if he causes you trouble, tell him you have a Jounin friend who'll beat him up."
"Sure," giggled Rin. "I'll really paint you really big and badass."
"I am badass," Kakashi huffed.
"You'll grow into it, I'm sure," Rin's cheeks hurt from keeping back the belly laughs that threatened to swamp her.
"Are you teasing me again?"
"Oh, Kakashi... you make it so easy... I can't help myself..."
"Humph."
"Kakashi?"
"Yeah?"
"Why don't you try to go out with someone?"
"Other than the fact that I'm super busy?"
"Yes."
"Well..." Kakashi looked up at the blue sky and white clouds in deep thought. "I think girls are seriously troublesome. I never know what they are thinking... And they laugh at me. A lot. The other day... Gai, Asuma, Genma and Raido were talking about girls... They said that girls like manly men and strong looking ninjas... I'm not like that at all..."
"Kakashi..."
"Gai tried to make a bet with me. I ignored him. Asuma told me that looking stuck up isn't good to get a girl. I said I wasn't interested..."
"Then what happened?"
"No-nothing." Kakashi glanced away, the skin between his mask and hitae ate flushed pink.
"Tell me," Rin laid a hand on his arm. "I won't laugh. Promise."
"They-they made a joke about you and I... and I... got mad and walked away. They called me a lot of names. I wanted to punch Genma out – but I knew Sensei wouldn't be happy... so..."
"Kakashi... I'm so sorry..."
"It's not your fault they're immature." Kakashi stumbled over the last word. "They're... good friends most of the time... I think they're mad because I got cool missions with Sensei..." He ended, sounding a bit proud. "I don't care what they think, really. They'll probably say sorry right away."
"I still think you should try," Rin smiled encouragingly.
"If you say so," Kakashi sighed.

Nothing more was said. Together they enjoyed the silences, both in their own world wondering what might have been – if things hadn't been so messed up. Kakashi wondered what kind of a girl would be interested in him at all. He thought about his pen pal. Wondered what she would say...

Maybe I should write to her... When I get the time...


"Something up, Kakashi?" Minato asked as he sat down at the dinner table with his young charge and his red-headed vivacious wife. "Bad mission day?"
"No, not really. Just on a farm with Rin doing chores."
"Ah... it's nice out in the countryside, or so I heard... the village elders seem bent on locking me into that stuffy conference room."
"That's what happens when you're the Hokage," Kushino squeezed her husband's shoulder and winked at Kakashi, who turned bright red.

He remembered the day the two had gotten married – it had been last year, in the fall. A lovely traditional ceremony, filled with well-wishers and friends who would follow the new Hokage to their death if need be. Amongst the crowds, Kakashi felt buried – and he suddenly was back at his father's funeral, pressed down on all sides by breathing, watching masses. Jiraiya ruffled his hair then – and Kakashi had twisted around to glare up at the tall man who grinned back unrepentantly. When he looked forward again at the clump of people who stood under the shrine, Kakashi's eye bugged a little at the wink Kushina sent him. Rin, beside him, giggled.

It wasn't the same after all. A celebration of life in the aftermath of war.

"So if it wasn't a mission, was it a girl?"
"Kakashi has a girl?" Minato asked, blond eyebrows rising. "Since when?"
"Since never," Kakashi glared at his meal, wanting to stab his food with his chopsticks but deciding instead to squish his rice around in his small ricebowl.
"I heard from some girls that you had an eye out for some dark-haired beauty," Kushina smiled, shaking her head. "She's got half the class chasing after her – so you gotta show her who's the best, Kakashi! Go get'em!"
"Sometimes you just have to be honest," Minato agreed. "They don't always know what's in your heart, although many will think they do – ow!"

Kushina mock-glared at her husband, returning to her meal.

"You wanna sleep on the couch?"
"No, no... I'm just saying..."
"'They don't always know what's in your heart'... what kind of nonsense is that? Have you been reading Jiraiya's stuff again?"
"You like it too!"
"Well... yes... to a certain extent – but some things are just not... possible..."
"Honesty is important," Minato disagreed. "If I hadn't been honest about my feelings toward you, you'd still think I was a brat."
"Who says you aren't a brat?"
"Kushina!"
"A brat I love," Kushina smiled and leaned forward to kiss her blushing husband.

Forgotten, Kakashi watched in fascination as Minato returned to his meal, obviously far away in some kind of marital bliss. Will I ever have that? He wondered, wistfully. It looks... nice... and Dad always loved Mom... before...

"So, back to you, Kakashi. Honesty is important."
"I was honest," Kakashi mumbled.
"You what? You talked to her?" Kushina leaned forward, excitedly. "Since when? Where? How?"
"This afternoon. Near the river on that field where the girls like to hang out..."
"It didn't go well," Minato hazarded.
"Yeah..."
"What happened?" Kushina asked softly, glancing at Minato with concern. Minato had told her that underneath his gruff exterior, the small Hatake was incredibly sensitive.
"She laughed."
"Oh..."
"Ouch," Minato winced.
"I had some flowers... but... I guess... they weren't good enough... I wasn't good enough..."
"Kakashi – it's not you – it's her!" Kushina suddenly found herself wanting to wring the Genin's neck. "She has no idea what a great person you are!"
"No, it's okay," sighed the young boy. "I'm small and weird. I get it. And... well... few people like the fact that I'm Jounin and stuff... so... yeah..."
"Maybe you can talk to your pen pal. She's a girl, right?" Minato decided not to force the boy too much. "She probably could give you some insight into a girl's feelings."
"Yeah... maybe I should. It's been a while..." Kakashi brightened up. "I'll write it tonight."

An hour later, Minato, watching his young charge struggle through a short letter to his pen pal, shook his head in amazement. The blond Hokage found that Kakashi's respect for his pen pal was unprecedented. Kushina, humming to herself, finished washing up the dishes. Minato joined her after a moment, deciding not to bug Kakashi with his letter writing.

"Kakashi really likes that pen pal. A girl, right? Think it's Kurenai?"
"No... I don't know..." Minato glanced back at the white-haired boy. "It's strange... but... it helps – perhaps, in the end, as special as he is, his destiny for love is also beyond the norm."
"Hm... well... He mentioned the other day that he needs to get a new blanket. Can you check to make sure that his landlady fixed the plumbing?"
"I'm sure Kakashi has talked to her –"
"Just double-check that she isn't, you know, mistreating the poor boy. If I had my way, he'd be living here, with us."
"He's independent," Minato drew Kushina back against his chest and sighed. "Like Pakkun, he likes to do things his own way. But I'll check with the landlady to make sure that things are going smoothly."
"I saw a really nice blanket downtown two days ago..." Kushina let the water run over her dishes before turning to her husband. "Maybe I can drop it off at your office tomorrow before you interrogate Kakashi's landlady. Cheer you up in your office-prison."
"I would like that. Let's leave Kakashi to it – I know a good seat on our balcony that could do with some company."


Dear Sakura,

Thinking about your teammate - I know you'll do fine! My sensei told me teamwork is the most powerful thing in the world - next to love. I guess that means with your love AND teamwork, your friend has no chance!

He's lucky to have such a nice, courageous, determined girl like you going after him! I'm kinda jealous!

Here, Kakashi paused, unsure of how to describe his unfortunate brush with the snobby girls who refused to accept his flowers, or his simple 'hello'.

The other day, I saw this nice looking girl - but when I said 'hello', she just laughed at me and giggled and whispered to her friends. I think she was talking about me.

I felt like an idiot. I guess I'm not interesting to girls because I don't know what to give to or even expect from them...

Well, I gotta go! Duty calls!
Best of luck!
Yours ever,
Scarecrow

Carefully sealing the scroll, Kakashi glanced toward the balcony door, which stood open in invitation. He listened to the comforting hum of his sensei's home – the low bass of the old refrigerator, the infrequent clatter of traffic passing under the balcony and windows outside – and the quiet chatter of Kushina and Minato. If he shut his eyes, he could pretend this was home.

And it is, sort of, he sighed. But not my true home. Staring down at the letter in his hand, he wondered if Sakura would understand. She probably will... I'm lucky to have good friends like Sensei... Kushina-san... Rin... Sakura...


It seemed forever to Kakashi, but several weeks later, he got a long reply from Sakura. For weeks, he had stewed over his letter, vacillating between despair and hope. Would she appreciate his honesty? Would she be laughing at him? Was she friends with Rika? Or would she hate the girls and take his side?

His eyebrows rose at the first line.

Dear Scarecrow,

I'm sorry to hear that some evil bitches hurt your feelings like that. Don't pay attention to them. I think they're callous, evil, superficial beasts who don't know what's good for them. If I was there, I'd have smacked them. People have no right to look down on you.

Taking heart, the grey-haired ninja read on.

You're nice, shy, smart and powerful. It's about time people acknowledge you.

Here, he blushed. So I'm not weird – or at least... Someone out there besides Sensei and Rin appreciate me... I wonder if Sakura would ever... No... Idiot...

But still, it sounds good to me - you're starting to get interested in girls. Finally, you're getting a life. I should be the one who's jealous. Do you have any girl specifically that you like? Do tell!

Sakura jealous... Kakashi wondered how he felt about that. Okay, I guess...

To be honest, I've dated a bunch of guys around town - but nobody has made my heart jump.

Kakashi's heart clenched. Sakura's already dating. Wow... Getting a girl like her is probably next to impossible. She's seriously so mature! If we met, she'd think I was some sort of snotty brat... He sighed.

Although, lately, the boy who I used to crush on - the Uchiha - has seemed dim to me. I feel disloyal - but when I see him - I don't see him as I used to see him in my dreams - a future of him and I together. No. It makes me want to cry - I feel ashamed. I thought that love would last forever - but I see now that life and circumstances are like a furnace that purifies your affections. And the weak ones wither away like straw. But the ones that last forever are like gold. What do you think?

Rereading the paragraph, Kakashi felt brighter all of a sudden. So the Uchiha wasn't so important anymore? He frowned at himself. Reading this letter made him feel dizzy – one minute feeling like his Sensei had pulled him into an Earth Element trap, the next minute, feeling like he was flying through the trees. Odd.

At any rate, this means that my goal of getting him back is even clearer, being freed of clouded judgement.

Just writing this, I feel better already.
Thanks a lot for listening!
You're the greatest!
Love,
Sakura.

Kakashi was still smiling over her letter when Minato burst into his small apartment, nearly bouncing off the walls.

"Kakashi – you won't guess what!"
"What?"
"You know how Kushina has been kinda happy lately – and has been sick every morning – and she's starting to want to eat more ramen than ever?"
"Yeah? Is she dying?"
"No. She's having a baby!"
"Baby." Kakashi repeated blankly.
"We're having a baby! I'm so happy! I hope it's a girl – just like her mother!"
"A baby," Kakashi said softly, trying to imagine what it would look like.
"Are you okay, Kakashi? You know you will always be welcome, baby or no. You'll have a little brother or sister – or you can be their uncle –"
"No... I'm just..." Kakashi blinked. "So... that's why she kinda looked a bit... rounder... lately."
"You noticed it too? I said something and I had to sleep on the couch. Never tell pregnant ladies they are fat, Kakashi."
"Okay, Sensei."
"So the baby will be here in six months or so. I'm so excited. If it's a boy, we're going to call it Naruto!"
"Naruto – after Jiraiya-sensei's character?" Kakashi asked, eyebrow rising a little. "Kushina-san is okay with that?"
"She loves it! You know how she's always been a gutsy character."
"Yeah..."
"Jiraiya-sensei is of course going to be the godfather," Minato went on, getting a bit more sober as the news really settled in. He sat down on Kakashi's bed, recognizing the green and black quilt as Kushina's purchase. "We'll have to get ready... it's going to be difficult for the both of us..."
"But mostly for Kushina-san, right?" Kakashi said. "I heard from Rin that a girl has to push the baby out hard and it hurts a lot – so..." Kakashi's face turned a shade of green and Minato smiled as the boy struggled with imagining Kushina having a baby. "Is it going to be okay? Rin tells me they yell and scream a lot – and sometimes the baby is hurt and –"
"Hey, it's going to be okay," Minato smiled. "Everything will be fine."

Kakashi nodded, a little disbelievingly. That's what everyone said. It never turned out that way.


It was happening too fast – Kakashi felt as though every second was lasting an hour – and the waiting. It was killing him. In his back pocket, he could feel the weight of his unfinished letter to Sakura. Over the months, he had sent short notes and they had exchanged small communiques about daily life – but now, the feeling of doomsday was on him – and the words of Minato came back to him.

"Everything will be fine."

He had to say that, sighed Kakashi. We're doomed.

Of course, hearing Kushina's cries as she birthed her baby boy, didn't help matters either. The small cabin was surrounded by ANBU. Kakashi's role was small – stay close by to run errands for the Hokage. For the Hokage who was inside with the medics keeping the seal on Kushina. Kakashi wasn't sure what he was more surprised about – the fact that Kushina was apparently a Jinchuuriki – or the fact that Minato had married her regardless. Everyone knew that Jinchuuriki were just time bombs waiting to happen.

But Kushina is different, he remembered her small gifts. The green and black blanket with the shuriken pattern he always loved to curl up under. She loves Minato. She's a person... Why can't people see her that way? I guess... the power of the Jinchuuriki is so great.

A medic emerged from cabin. Everyone stiffened to attention. Waving Kakashi over, the medic laid a scroll in the young Jounin's hand.

"Send this to the elders," the medic nodded. "A message from the Hokage. He said you were to return home and wait for his signal."

Kakashi nodded, knowing better to argue. When he returned home, he glanced up at the dark sky uneasily. The hard stares of the village elders weren't as ominous as the clouds – and he had a feeling – more than ever that there were things stirring that he could only guess up.

It sucks to be a kid, he thought glumly. I'm fourteen – but they still treat me like I'm a child.

Taking out his letter, Kakashi contented himself with writing a bit more.

Dear Sakura,

Thanks for the encouragement! I'll try to be more self-confident. And you're right - there's a girl who I've lost my heart to - but I can't tell you - you'll laugh. But she's strong, courageous, determined, beautiful, honest and selfless. And she's got an inner fire in her - worthy of Leaf kunoichi.

You know... Life is a book of images, you know, memories and ideas and they all pile up until you start to forget the beginning - and sometimes you forget where you wanted to go - or what you should do. That's what my grandfather once told me and - well - HIM... you know... Father said... It's more important, then, to be able to stop and look back - maybe you are missing important facts. It's okay to second guess your loves - because life is so changeable - every page is a new start and when you turn the pages back, you can see the changes that you never noticed before.

As he finished the last line, he paused to think over the day. It had began so normally – with slow waking up, a shower, a quick bite to eat of some left-overs from Kushina's last dinner... and then a visit to the Shrine to say hi to Obito – then double-checking the Mission office. No missions... hanging out in the Jounin lounge to pick up gossip before they noticed him there... and then finding Rin to eat lunch. And then, Minato had rushed in, asking for Kakashi and Rin to get to the hospital...

Rin, as a medic, had been called to help the medic staff with the birth. Kakashi wasn't allowed inside though. Part of him had been relieved, part of him worried twice as much. Then, the cabin was surrounded by ANBU. Which wasn't very encouraging.

It was just a baby, right?

Sighing, Kakashi tore his thoughts away from the mystery and continued on.

At any rate, things have gotten really hectic around here what with my Sensei's wife having her baby and all. I guess, there's some hush-hush stuff about it - I can't really say much - but I think Sensei is really worried - so he's not leaving her side. He says I'm supposed to wait for his signal - but what if I can't get to his side in time? What if something goes wrong? I have a really bad feeling... He said everything would turn out just fine - but you know how things go.

Besides, there have been rumours that I heard around town about different factions starting up. What if people start to fight each other in Konoha? I'm not even sure if I know which side is the right one. I guess I'll just stick by Sensei.

Kakashi nodded, thinking about the grumblings among the Uchiha, the proud looks of the Hyuuga which always inflamed the poorer ninjas... and even his own clan, once a great buffer between the great bloodlines – now decimated. Depressing... Kakashi's eyes drifted closed – and before his head hit the quickly drying letter, a sonic boom, a harsh loud growl and a burst of wind rattled all of the windows.

Jerking awake, Kakashi peered out of the window. Above the tree line to the north, a spread of fire was rising – like the sun. Except it wasn't the sun.

Sensei...

Glancing down at the letter, Kakashi scrawled even quicker an explanation and a brief goodbye.

Oh! I gotta go! Something is happening outside! The sky just turned deep red! It's like the sun came up or something! Gotta run!

Love,
Scarecrow

Stuffing the scroll into his pocket, he headed to the Mission Office. On the way, I can drop the letter off... And then get to the office. I'm sure they have news. They will know what was going on. I hope...


Several weeks later, Kakashi found himself alone in his apartment again. This time, the silence weighed heavy. But there was nowhere else to go. The small warm home of his Sensei was now empty. Comforting chatter, loving teasing, wild jokes...

All gone, he thought numbly. As if on autopilot, he drew an empty page toward him with his favourite pen and ink pot. He stared at the letter's opening blankly for several seconds. It had seemed to write itself.

Dear Sakura,

Then, he added a few more lines, trying to sort out his feelings. Part of him wondered if the girl had been old enough to be allowed to fight – like Ibiki... or had been disallowed from fighting like Iruka and the rest of the gang.

Iruka... the class idiot was apparently an orphan now... Kakashi sighed. Join the club. Or maybe...

He remembered Rin's still face – a victim of the Nine-Tails. A victim of Madara's ambition. In the end, Obito's family had killed the one Obito died for. Ironic...

For several minutes, he found himself unable to write. Part of him wanted to lay his head down on the table and cry. But it won't do any good, he thought. So he kept writing.

You could say things went good and they went bad. Don't they always? Well... I won't be writing for awhile. I've decided to join ANBU. It's best this way. Don't worry. I can take care of myself. People are talking alot about it again - you know the whole "he's too young thing." Well... I don't care... I'm going to work hard - and I will get in. I'm guessing it might take me a year or so - but I will succeed. When I'm sixteen I think I could pass their test, forget what other people say... they said the same thing when I graduated as a Genin... as a Chuunin... as a Jounin... Whatever.

I really can't talk about what happened yet - it seems so unreal. It's been several weeks and still...
Sensei's dead.
Rin's dead.

He shivered at the memory of their cold hands when he said goodbye. At the impersonal photos on the mass shrine. The slick feel of the chrysanthemum's green leaves between his fingers. The sad weight of the Sandaime's gaze on the crowd.

And I'm so alone - it's so cold here - I guess, it's cold wherever you are not - That doesn't make much sense... does it?

I miss you tons,
Scarecrow

What will she think about my decision? He wondered. It seemed so long since anyone would care about his life. Sensei and Rin were gone. Gone to where his father and mother rested... no one would miss him if he went into ANBU. Well... except for Gai, maybe... but... he'll get over it. He has the others.

Uncertainly, he added a postscript, hoping for the best. Maybe she will understand...

p.s. I'm sorry if I've disappointed you. I'm sorry we could never meet.


Four months later, he returned from another long week of training and a B-Rank mission to find a stack of letters in his mail box. There were the usual bills which he made a mental note to pay, a few flyers for old sales and a new barbeque restaurant... and a familiar letter.

Sakura. Quickly fumbling at the door, Kakashi threw the stack on the desk and sat back on his bed to enjoy her letter.

She replied. So... she's not mad at me or anything...

Dear Scarecrow,

I'm so sorry for not answering you. But for some reason your first letter came with your second one. I guess the address wasn't clear... I gotta talk to the post office about it.

It was probably my handwriting, Kakashi grimaced, remembering how rushed he had been writing the address on the envelope. That day... was... Nevermind...

At any rate, it sounds like things have gotten bad for you... I'm sorry to hear about the death of Rin and your Sensei. I don't know what to say.

At least she isn't saying stupid platitudes about life after death or what Kurenai said about them watching over us...

I worry everyday for my sensei and Naruto - and even Sasuke. People are dying here on the front lines - they're coming back from missions hurt and unable to move. People have burnt themselves out - with weird emotional disorders and things from genjutsu attacks and things like that.

Kakashi reread the letter and frowned. People dying? Front lines? What... Is Sakura crazy? Impossible... she's always been level-headed... is she from a different country? I should ask Ibiki – he always knows what's going on... The puzzled ninja read on.

It's bad. But you know - I know that it's a fact of life. It's the shinobi's life - we fight - we risk it all for what we've got - companionship, love - friendship - don't you think? What you fight for is what your teammates showed you?

Friendship.

At any rate, on the front lines here, things are crazy... but we'll see... I hope I can make everyone proud - especially you! I hope you come out of ANBU - to meet me. You know I'd never turn you away.

Wish me luck,
Ever loving,
Sakura.

So she's not mad at all. Wow. Sakura is amazing... Except for the part where she's almost in another world altogether... Kakashi laid her most recent letter with all of the other letters into his special chest (carved for his father by his grandfather) – which also held a few photographs of his parents, Obito's goggles, his Sensei's kunai and Rin's medpack. And Sakura's dried flowers.

This is seriously getting weird. But I don't want to accuse her of being crazy. Girls are sensitive... so maybe I can try to gain some clues from her letters.


Time passed on for Kakashi, each season taking its turn and changing almost effortlessly – inevitable as life itself. Kakashi trained, took the test and at the early age of sixteen, ignoring the whispers, joined ANBU. Throughout it all, the letters passed – and with each new letter, Kakashi found himself looking forward to each letter – a reminder of another life of happiness outside the dark world of ANBU.

He never discussed his work in detail, of course, but there was something therapeutic about sharing his feelings with Sakura. In a world of shadows, chaos and treachery, her bright rays of hope seemed like the North Star in the deep night. Considering the last letter she had sent to him, Kakashi looked around his small team.

The mission had ended successfully and they were returning home. It was a good feeling. Although the heavy rain was a bit dampening. Even though it was the mid-afternoon, thanks to the downpour, the team had settled in the shelter of a cave. Nakana had decided to rest and see if they could wait out the heaviest part of the storm. Kakashi wasn't complaining. He had a lot to think about.

"A success," his junior said softly, behind a cat mask.
"Yes," Kakashi nodded, leaning back, closing his eyes – trying not to see the dead woman impaled on his Raikiri.
"Some jutsu you had there."
"Hm." The now reknown "Copy Nin" sighed, wishing his teammate would go bury himself.
"How many elements do you have under your belt now?"

Kakashi turned to the brown-haired nin.

"What's your name again?"
"Yamato. I've been looking forward to meeting you, senpai. I heard you're heading to be the top of the field. It's an honour to work in the same team as you!"
"Well, you know what they say about teams."
"Eh?"
"The team is only as strong as its weakest member," Kakashi shrugged. "That's what my Sensei once told me."
"He sounds like a smart man."
"He was."
"I'm pleased to work with you," Yamato tipped his mask in a slight bow. "I hope we can work well together in the future."
"Yes," Kakashi replied quietly. "While we have time."

Ignoring Yamato's obvious confusion, Kakashi slipped away to watch the rain fall, taking comfort in the continuous sound. When he got home, he stretched, feeling more exhausted than ever. Debriefing had seemed to go on and on – more or less because of the newbie, Yamato. Breaking in newbies always took time.

Dinner. That's what I need. Slipping into civilian clothing, Kakashi grabbed an umbrella and sprinted out into the rain – to his Sensei's favourite ramen shop. A bit of warm miso soup will hit the spot, he thought. Warm soup, a cup of tea and writing a letter to Sakura... Sounds like a great night to me.

When he returned home that night, Kakahi felt more depressed than ever. Instead of writing a letter that suddenly seemed so precious, he shut off the light and laid down on his bed. Sleep came slowly, and he woke up too early.

It was waiting for him. The blank sheet. The bad news yet unwritten. Shoulders slumped, he began to write. This wasn't going to be easy...

Dear Sakura,

Days like yesterday seem insane. I can't go into details - but it was rather hard... What makes it worse, is that I hear tell the Academy is going to be cutting back. The postbox will be set aside for a while... A teacher told me they are stopping in a month or so. I guess it's new management at the Academy. I don't know what to say - except that I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I wasn't able to go where you wanted me to go. Or to be there all the time for you. You've done so much for me - I feel like - I dunno... a sponger? Listening to your funny letters, I find sometimes that I can laugh again. I guess... I'm getting rusty... I'm sorry.

It's you that I'll miss the most... what do you call that? What is love? Do you know? I think I've forgotten.

Yours,
Even in separation,
Scarecrow

Rubbing Obito's eye, which was threatening to water up, Kakashi stifled a sob, pulled his knees up to his chest and huddled on his desk chair.

Will things ever be right again?


Within a week, he got a reply back. It seemed to be a little blurred – and the words turned his bones to fire – his heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest.

Dearest Scarecrow,

Love. That's so hard - to say what it is and isn't.

But, you know. I think now, I know what love is. Love is worry. It's worrying about that person. Worrying about whether he's going to live the next day or not. Love is waiting. Waiting for him to come back from a foray and wondering if this is the last time you'll link arms with him - if this is the last time you'll lay your healing hands on him and close his wounds... Love is steadfast - and enduring - kind of like how the sea is always there, washing up against the shore. And that's why memories are important - because in those dark days - when everything seems like you've lost - those warm memories are there as a light to guide you -

To give you hope. Because you know, love can't die. And love is speaking out - that's what it is, really. It's action personifying feelings. When you tell them - what you really feel.

Just like Sensei said, Kakashi gasped, remembering Minato's words. Honesty. Being honest. Even if it's hard. Even if you will get laughed at... Could I ever be that brave?

I want to tell him, that, you know. I've been feeling these things for my sensei... well... he's my ex-sensei, now, you've probably heard of him - he's famous in many countries – so – will he like a girl like me? I don't know if I should say anything... see...

Kakashi's heart plummeted. She's in love with her Sensei! I mean, ex-Sensei! But still... I have no luck! Just when she got over that Uchiha too!

Love is hard - because it has a mind of its own. I love my sensei. But I also love you. I wish I could meet you. Sasuke doesn't mean anything to me anymore... but you...

I'm worried - that one day you're heart will be so dark, it will forget me - that one day, you'll throw your life away on an un-ranked mission. I'm waiting - I'll just out and out admit that I've been looking for you - I'm waiting for you to come to me. Seriously. And this kind of love is steadfast... and I want to be that warm memory for you - so that you can always hope for something. So that you can fight for something.

I don't know how my sensei fits into this but... I have been wanting to say to you - "I love you. Forever. I don't want you to die - because I'm waiting here. I've always been waiting here - and I just didn't know it..."

Please come back, leave ANBU! I mean it! As for the post box - I'll find a way for us to meet - someday, somewhere - and remember - I'm waiting for you!

I love you forever, no matter what -

Sakura

p.s. If you don't follow through, I won't get mad at you - I won't abandon you - no. I will HUNT you down and beat you senseless and then drag you home... because - together, we'll make that cold place something warm.

Kakashi banged his head on his desk several times in an attempt to clear it. But it didn't help – that weird, tingling, happy feeling was sprouting in his chest. He felt like he couldn't breathe.

Sakura loves me! He whispered aloud. "Sakura loves ME!"

He could hear Minato and Kushino laughing at him.

"Of course she does, silly!" Kushina rolled her eyes. "I told you that she's the woman for you!"
"I was the one that said that!" Minato smiled at his wife and then turned to Kakashi. "Remember what I said about honesty. Take the chance."

Obito and Rin were standing on a green hill, holding hands and smiling at him.

"You go get her," Obito gave him a thumbs up. "It's my turn to take care of Rin now!"
"Don't be afraid of happiness," Rin's whisper floated away on the wind, buried in the rustling leaves of spring's blossoms.

When Kakashi woke, he knew that the most important letter for him to write was waiting for him. It was now or never.


Please review!

For reviewers:

Prescripto13: Had to go back and change LOY's letters because I found another plot hole. *stabs plot to death* I now know the pain of writing time travel fics. Stephen Moffat of Doctor Who fame gets my full appreciation.

Kakashifangirlnumber1000: Thanks! I hope it was a good b-day present! Hope you enjoy the new update as well!

SheWhoHasLostHerMind: I'm glad you are enjoying the Letters duology! It came to me - suddenly - but it's been a pain to write b/c of plot holes. (sigh) But I'm glad you love it! Hope you enjoy the new chappie!

joys: Thanks! Hope you like the new chappie!

sleepdeprived91: Thanks!

QueenxofxTala: Argh! I hate typos in a story. I need a beta. (sigh) Hopefully I'll find time to fix some of them. Until then, I hope you enjoy the new update!

The You Of Yesterday: Thank you for your honest and lengthy review. I have to say that this idea was thought up in an insane moment, and somehow I keep writing it. Already I found so many plotholes you could drive a truck through. (tear) It doesn't help that I leave the fic alone for several months so I've forgotten what I wrote - in cases like these details really do matter. I had to go back and rewrite some Letters of Yesterday to fit this chapter already... and bring it a bit closer to canon of course. (bangs head against wall) What I need is to go back and reread both side by side. . If you find any plotholes in this chappie, let me know! Enjoy!

Hatake Kai: Thanks for your encouragement!