:) i reward your wonderful patience & perseverance with this story by making it extra long. i'm hoping this satisfies the long wait i gave you. actually, the reason for that is because i was about to update it sooner but when i reread it for proofreading i noticed i missed something, so that took a while for me to add in.
i hope everyone's summers are going well; lots of chilling & pigging out like i am.
anyways, enjoy.
Calleigh felt guilty for trudging on home earlier than the others the night before, that she'd woken up extra early that day and found herself driving to work several hours before her shift started. The fact that her dinner date with John (the reason why she'd clocked out when the night was still young) hadn't turned out well did relieve some of the remorse, but she was intent on forgetting about that fiasco altogether.
Weeks had passed and Calleigh was glad to report that she and Ryan were on… well if she had to be honest with herself, 'okay grounds' – it may not have been 'good', but it was still better than 'shaky grounds'.
Their relationship was complicated, at best. That much she'd admit, though obviously not proudly. The disputes had lessened, sure, but she felt there was always something missing. Because they weren't fighting as often, they were only discussing lab results, crime scene observations, work-related stuff. Calleigh thought it simply wasn't enough to just be speaking in forensic jargon; that while it allowed for conversing and solving cases, it didn't really help their relationship outside work.
Their conversations were awkward. It consisted merely of one-worded answers and uncomfortable silences. One time she'd asked if he wanted to join her and Eric to a bar to loosen up after a tough case. She hoped the change of environment would solve their strenuous attempt at dialogue. But all she got was a lame excuse and an incredulous Eric for having even considered bringing Ryan along.
Her thoughts kept returning to what he'd said weeks earlier. Was it really that bad, what she and the rest of the team had done? Yes, yes, a million times yes. She suddenly understood that, even after the two of them had forgiven, it would take a long while to forget.
She cursed silently. If her subconscious had known her actions were bad, wrong, unethical even, then why hadn't she stopped? What made her so angered at Ryan that she completely ignored her own morals?
The confusing part was that he hadn't done anything to get her unhinged in the first place. He did his work, despite the countless obstacles the team had purposefully put up. His OCD allowed him to be exceptional at the job, so that definitely wasn't the problem.
And he'd only become a jerk after the hard time they'd given him, so that didn't count either.
So what was it?
She stopped at a red light, still unable to find an answer.
Calleigh had established a long time ago that Speed's sudden death certainly had something to do it, but it couldn't have been the whole reason. Besides, Ryan couldn't have done anything about it anyway.
Was it the way he sometimes acted without thinking when it came to other people?
Was it the way he always seemed to be thinking but not acting around her?
Was it how he'd managed to send chills through her body every time he got a little too close during a heated argument?
Was it how she'd long for the touch of his warm breath on her skin, or yearn to feel his aura practically reaching out her? (and failing, considering her every effort to push him away)
A loud horn blasted through her car's glass windows, snapping her out of her reverie. The light had turned green – most likely a while ago, given that once she pressed her foot on the pedal and got her car moving the traffic light proceeded to yellow and the vehicles she'd held behind were honking deafeningly and shouting profanities out their windows.
Slightly disoriented from the incident, Calleigh shook her head free of her thoughts and forbade herself from venturing any deeper into her last theory.
At least, not until she got some questions answered.
--
Calleigh pulled into the Crime Lab's parking lot soon after, her mind fixed solely on making up for lost time from the night before.
No sooner had she stepped off the elevator of the appropriate floor that she'd seen a silhouette sitting on the floor, facing the sun. Or where it would be, given that the sun hadn't risen yet.
Her curiosity piqued, she quickly abandoned her strict plan on being productive and approached the mysterious profile.
"Ryan?" she queried, in total astonishment. She simply couldn't believe the sight before her.
He looked up, just as surprised as Calleigh, but most likely for different reasons.
"Calleigh. What are you doing here?"
"I do work here, you know." She saw his mouth twitch slightly upwards. If he didn't have control over his facial expressions, she'd have pegged the tic for a smirk rather than a smile. But he was trying, so she gave him the benefit of the doubt and told herself he was struggling to smile.
Her thoughts had prevented her from actually seeing his mouth curl up into a small smile and then get serious again after deciding that it might be too early on in their relationship to be using sarcasm as a bantering tool.
"Yes, I'm aware of that. But I meant why are you here so early?" The last time he'd asked her that was when they engaged in a full-blown shouting match in the locker room. He never did learn the reason why she was there that time either. Judging from the somewhat sad look on her face – which she'd worn weeks ago when she daydreamed again – he figured it was the same cause.
This time her answer was significantly less cold. "I uh… I felt bad about last night so I decided to clock in early and make up for lost time. What about you?"
He shrugged and looked out the glass panels. "I like to watch the sunrise. The view at the lab is much better than back home, and it ensures I'm not late for work."
Silence ensued. "And the quiet does me some good. It's a nice change of pace from the hustle and bustle during the prime hours."
Calleigh remained hushed, absorbing the tranquility of their surroundings. She nodded, "Yeah, it's nice."
Ryan briefly gazed at her and then down on the floor. He slouched against a glass wall.
Calleigh put all her weight on one leg, immediately becoming casual, as if they were already best friends who were completely comfortable with each other, when in fact they were contradictory to the notion.
"Well, I feel like I'm intruding on your alone time and noising up the ambiance, so I'll leave. I'll see you later?" Calleigh said, her eyebrows raising up in anticipation.
He glanced up swiftly, straightened his posture, then patted the floor next to him.
Glad to have been offered, Calleigh complied, setting her purse down before sitting beside Ryan. She sat like him, legs stretched, with one leg on top of the other. Her hands were clasped on her lap, while his were curled into soft fists and laid on each thigh.
"You're OCD, aren't you?" she inquired suddenly, unsure herself why she posed the question or why she'd asked with such fascination. She'd never been interested in Ryan's life before.
His eyes narrowed. He affirmed her with a wary voice.
She cocked her head to the side and her own eyes shrank into slits. Her eyebrows furrowed and her nose flared. What looked like an expression of anger was actually one of extreme enthrallment.
"So then how come you're sitting on the floor? Isn't it against your need to stay clean and to being obsessive-compulsive altogether?" she asked him the question with such wonder that he chuckled.
Calleigh was surprised at the sound of his laughter, but found that she liked his laugh. She grinned, radiant teeth showing, but was still puzzled.
His chuckle subsided but a smile remained. It was a while until he'd responded.
"I think everybody is entitled to at least one moment of rebelliousness. It's time I claim my moment and be a rebel. So I'm here, sitting on the floor, revolting against my own beliefs for the sake of being a bad boy."
She laughed, shaking her head at his foolishness. She had no idea he was so easy to talk to and had a sense of humor. And while he was correct in saying she didn't know much about him, she had a good feeling it was all about to change. For both sides.
Calleigh turned her head to face him, and found he was already looking at her.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"How come you've been so distant?"
Ryan's lips tightened into a thin line. It looked as if he was fighting with himself on what to tell her.
"I don't know… I guess I thought that if I came here and acted like myself – you know, joking around and stuff – that everyone would think I was some insensitive moron. I mean, all of you just lost someone who was clearly close to you. I didn't think it'd help my case as the newbie if I was going all happy-go-lucky on you."
Calleigh nodded solemnly, accepting what Ryan had just said. Yes, he had some setbacks that let her question whether he was to be trusted, but they'd all turned out to be misunderstandings. So he had some shortcomings. Nobody's perfect.
"It didn't really help, did it?"
She paused, careful with her words. "I think it gave us the wrong impression of you, that's all. We weren't the most welcoming people either."
"At least it was reciprocated." They laughed softly.
Silence enveloped them again, only this time it wasn't the awkward kind. Calleigh smiled as she looked out the glass at the sun rising over Miami with Ryan. Light filtered through the glass windows without fail, illuminating the lab.
This is progress, she thought, watching as Ryan closed his eyes and sighed deeply, fully relaxed. Not the kind she'd planned before heading off to work, but much better anyway.
Calleigh sat with Ryan for much longer than she'd expected, but definitely didn't regret staying.
--
Some weeks later
Talking to Ryan hours before shift started quickly became a morning ritual for Calleigh. Gradually she kept coming earlier and earlier, but Ryan always seemed to be there, waiting for her to arrive. She was on her way there though, half an hour earlier than the day before.
Everyday they would talk, about anything and everything. It was incredibly relaxing, Calleigh thought, to have someone whom she can tell the most meaningless things to, and still be able to disclose issues that were closest to her heart.
Calleigh stepped off the elevator with a coffee cup in each hand. She smiled softly as she saw that their spot was unoccupied. Finally, she beat him there. She was going to have a field day with this when he came. She sat down and made herself comfortable, knowing he would be coming soon.
Of course, her growing relationship with Ryan had its unfortunate consequences. Like John, who grew more and more suspicious whenever Calleigh left earlier than usual. Granted, he had every right to become doubtful because she always gave him excuses of a non-existent workload that she wanted to lessen. But Calleigh felt she had done the right thing by not telling him the truth. If she'd told John that the reason she spent less and less time at home with him was because she was beginning to prefer spending time with Ryan over him, he certainly wouldn't take it well. Simply put, John was territorial.
Like Eric. Who wasn't too happy about the situation. Who glared at Ryan like he wanted her all to himself instead of Ryan getting all her attention. Who was incredibly shocked every time he found her laughing with Ryan on their case while he worked solo for the umpteenth time. And it wasn't like he was quiet about the whole ordeal either. He complained and insulted and gave dirty looks so often Calleigh wondered how she thought Ryan could have endured with twice as much as the trouble Eric was currently giving them. She almost would have screamed in Eric's face to shut him up if Ryan hadn't grabbed her arm and sharply whispered that it wasn't worth it.
He'd understand, she hoped. If he'd give him the chance, he'd see how wonderful Ryan really was.
She liked him, she decided one day. She found she laughed and smiled and was generally happier when she was with him. They both were. That couldn't be a bad sign or a wrong move on her part in getting closer to him.
So she had no objection when Horatio paired them more often. And she didn't really care whether Eric or John had something to say about her and Ryan. Ryan taught her that if they had nothing nice to say, it wasn't worth their ears processing them. Calleigh had laughed at the statement. But now she was living by it.
Ryan Wolfe was intriguing. That was all there is to it. He never seemed to run out of surprises. Though his mind worked in ways more complicated than her own, his eyes could tell her what he thought before his mouth could. Calleigh could never do that with anybody else, and nobody else could see what she does with Ryan. And she loved that.
An hour passed. Calleigh wondered what would be taking him so long to get there. Maybe he was just running late, she thought, not completely certain of her own reasoning for his absence.
The next thing she knew people were beginning to clock into work. Sadly she stood up, straightened her clothes and picked up the other cup of coffee, as she'd already drank hers while waiting.
Calleigh was on her way to her Ballistics Lab to get started on some work when her cell phone rang. She sighed in relief. It was probably Ryan who called to tell her he's sorry for missing their morning talk. She prepared to give him her mock anger tone.
"Hello?" she answered, nonchalantly.
"CSI Calleigh Duquesne? I'm Doctor Campbell from Miami General. I apologize for the bother but you're listed here as CSI Ryan Wolfe's emergency contact."
Heads turned as Calleigh dropped both her phone and the cup of cold coffee meant for Ryan.
:O oh noes! leave reviews, pretty please. :) i'm off to write the last chapter.
