Me: Alright well, I see that people aren't reviewing…you disappoint me! But I hate making people wait so here's chapter 4 you still get your dose of AXAA along with IXM with so much more cute humor!

Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing but I so wish I did.

Enjoy!

Integra paced in her office, worried on what will happen next. The craziest thing so far was Alucard and Anderson, who happened to stroll by her. Then there was Maxwell…speaking of him she hadn't seen him anywhere. As if on queue he jumped out of nowhere and glomped her. "My love!" He exclaimed. Integra twitched before running around in circles trying to rid of the clinging Maxwell (A/N: Imagine that in chibi form). Seras happened to come in and seeing an Integra running in circles is pretty damn funny so, Seras did what any normal huma-er-vampire would've done. Fall to the ground and laugh your ass of, dropping anything you were carrying. Integra stopped and looked at her Maxwell was still nuzzling her back. "Officer Seras?" She asked. Seras was able to choke out a "yes" and then a "sir". "What's that?" Integra asked pointing at the pink box on the floor. Seras calmed down. "It's an apple pie!" She said happily. (A/N: If Seras seems to be too chipper or hyper blame the chocolate I'm currently eating) Integra blinked. "Why is an apple pie here?" She asked again. Seras picked it up and held it out to Integra. "It's for you! From a secret admirer." Seras nudged Integra at the ending before leaving it on the desk. Maxwell let go of Integra and quickly walked to the box checking the tag attached to it. He growled. "You're supposed to be mine!" Maxwell cried, no literally tears were coming out rapidly. (A/N: Think crying Maxwell chibi with handkerchief) Integra just quickly took out a cigar and lit it, hoping it'll end her stress. (A/N: Why else would she smoke?) "Don't worry I'll just give it to the staff…like I care." Integra said picking up the box and heading out to where the men were training. "Walter prepare a table and some plates outside, I'm giving them a reward." She ordered Walter. He bowed. "Right away sir." He said walking out to do what he was told.

Pip Bernadette (A/N: By the way is it Bernadette or Vernadead? I don't understand which is correct) was out in the training grounds shouting orders to his men in French, when then came Seras with her freakishly-huge gun. Great, she'll explode everything… He thought. (A/N: I will attempt Pip's accent only because I think it is funny) "Hey! Seras girl!" he shouted at her, getting ready his flirtatious mood. Seras got an annoyed facial expression. "What do you want Captain?" She asked, obviously not in the mood for his antics. He just simply smiled. "I was wondering if you'd care to go out with me tonight?" Seras looked like she was going to beat him to oblivion. She then thought back to all the crazyness and decided a day away from the hell she is in would be nice. "Alright, but it'll be only a friendly outing! Not a date!" She exclaimed. Pip was smiling like an idiot by this time. "Alrighty!" He said.

Walter set up the table and placed the pie and some plates. As soon as he opened the box all of the Wild Geese mercenaries rushed to the table along with Seras, Alucard, and Anderson. Shrugging, Walter grabbed a piece him self. They all ate the unbelievably good pie but suddenly when they touched each other…all hell broke loose.

Seras and Anderson were fighting over Alucard who was stuck in the middle, confused. Pip had gone off with one of his mercenaries and Walter was eating his pie in solitude and saw what the pie was doing to everyone. Suddenly realizing that the pie was doing the same effects of the cookies, he throws away the remaining pie.

EVIL PIE!!! Hehe well here it is, I bought 3,6, and 7 just recently and flipped through the pages and 3 words. Really. Fucking. Awesome. Anyways please review! Your reviews make me happy.