One week had gone by, and still he was no closer to getting Tara to trust him. Any time he thought she was letting her guard down a bit; she would put that wall she formed between back up. He wished he understood her, but he didn't. Why did she insist on pushing him away? He was still the same man. He felt the same things, looked the same way; the only thing that was different was his loss of memory. Why did it have to matter so much? Having that stinking, mangy fur ball around didn't help matters. He could hear them laughing during the days, something she rarely did in his presence. He sometimes found himself fantasizing about killing the wolf. He imaged his terrified eyes as he tore him from limb to limb – he'd start with his legs and work his way up. Too bad it was just a fantasy. Tara would not only hate him for killing her friend. His demise would surely make her sad, and Tara's despair was not something he wanted to be responsible for. It wouldn't be long though, soon Alcide would be receiving an urgent call to return home. It was a temporary fix seeing as he would return once he finished helping his family, but it was just the window he needed. Once that flannel loving, beer chugging red neck was out of his house, he could put his plan to work. Subtlety was not working for him so far. He should have known better. A woman like Tara had no use for courting games. No, with Tara a direct approach would have to be taken. He thought about the package he received yesterday. It had yet to be opened, but he knew what was inside. He only hoped that Tara would love it as much as he'd love seeing it on her. He wished he could remember ever buying her silk stockings and decadent lingerie, but according to Pam, he never did. The old version of him had obviously become complacent, but not anymore. He really had to appreciate Pam's exquisite taste. Without her, he would've never discovered Agent Provocateur. He knew Tara would fight it at first, but once she had a taste of a little luxury, she'd just want more. If there was one thing, he was sure that hadn't changed throughout the years, it was that women loved expensive gifts. He wasn't deluded enough to believe Tara could be bought, but she could be softened. And as she was softening he'd make sure to get under her skin. Closing his eyes, he put all things Tara out of his mind. He needed his energy, tonight would be their first night alone.
"Do you have to leave?" Tara asked, as she watched Alcide pack a small bag. Alcide gave her a small smile and zipped up his duffle bag. "It's only for a few days, and my father sounded really stressed. Don't worry, you'll be okay here. Trust me, no one outside of Eric employ knows you guys are here." Throwing the bag over his shoulder, he walked over to Tara and wrapped his arm around her. He knew she wasn't nervous about her own safety. She still was a little uneasy around Eric. He should try to reassure her about Eric, but he couldn't find it within himself to do. In his opinion, she was better off without him and if this bout of memory loss helped her see that, well, he wouldn't change that.
"I know. I'm not worried… it's just going to be so boring here during the day." He removed his arm at her remark and gave her a small smile. She didn't see him as anything more than a friend. With time, he hoped that would change. "Like I said I won't be gone long. Anyhow, don't you have all those books you brought up? Maybe now you can actually read one."
Nudging him with her shoulder, she laughed. "You're right. Reading's a good idea. Have a safe trip. I hope everything works out for your dad."
"Thanks. I'll see you in a few days," he said, walking out the front door. Tara stood in the doorway and watched him drive away.
Sighing, she shut the door and went to sit down in the living room. She didn't know how the next few days would play out now that she was alone with Eric. The last week she was able to use Alcide as a buffer, but now she was on her own. She wasn't sure why she was so ill at ease with him. The new Eric was everything she used to wish the old Eric would be. In hindsight, she fell in love with Eric as he was. She knew she wouldn't be able to change him, and while she may have had her perfect man fantasy – truth was, she loved him for who he was. This new Eric, he was sweet, considerate, approachable, and yet she felt more disconnected from him than ever. She wanted her Eric, the one that was arrogant, underhanded, secure, the Eric that wouldn't allow her to ignore him or use someone else as a crutch against him. She knew she should make more of an effort to get to know this new Eric, he was after all the same person just without the memories. What choice did she have now that Alcide was gone?
Eric knew the wolf would already be gone as he descended the stairs. Though Alcide should have waited until sundown to leave his post, he knew his simple human emotions would make him act impulsively and leave immediately. He wasn't disappointed when he reached the living room, she was sitting by the fireplace reading a book. He wished he could rush over to her and sink his teeth into her neck as he fucked her into the floor, but he couldn't. Still, it was good to have a goal. Every moment that passed he found his baser needs trying to take over him, so far he had been able to fight it, but he didn't think he'd last much longer. He needed blood and sex. He wanted her to love and trust him, but he was willing to wait for those things.
"What are you reading?" He asked walking over to her and taking a seat across from her on the floor.
Tara folded the corner of the book's page and set it down. "The most depressing thing I've ever read. Wuthering Heights, at your suggestion."
"I suggested Wuthering Heights," he asked raising an eyebrow. "Good to know my taste haven't changed throughout the years. It's the only love story, I can stomach."
"You call this a love story?" She asked incredulously, "things must have been bad back in the day if that's what people considered a love story."
"Any true love story is tragic. The problem is people now a day are so complacent and willing to settle for what's easy, that they're never fulfilled."
"This is coming from a man who can't remember the past two hundred years of his life. What exactly do you know about people in current times?" She asked crossing her arms over her chest mildly amused.
Eric moved over so he was close enough to touch her. "People have been settling for years, Tara. It didn't take much investigating to realize that the people in this current time have low, to no standards. You have after all been ignoring me this past week, the television has been my companion."
Tara felt guilty at his comment. He was right she spent the last week ignoring him and spending most of her time with Alcide. She couldn't imagine how hard it was for him not to remember part of his life. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I haven't been the most supportive person."
Eric took her warm hand in his own cold one, "it's okay. I understand that I seem like a stranger to you. Even though I don't remember our life together, I want you to know that you feel familiar to me. The night you found me… I knew there was something special about you. When I'm around you, the burden of my memory loss just disappears."
Tara looked down at their hands. She didn't know what changed, but this moment felt right. It was the first time during this whole mess that things didn't feel so hopeless. He still wasn't the Eric she wanted, but she wanted to get to know this version of him. "I think that's the nicest thing you've said to me."
"Please tell me you're joking," he asked, not wanting to believe that he was cold towards her.
Tara squeezed his hand and gave him a small smile. "The Eric I met had an extra two hundred years of baggage. I'm not sure what you saw in those years, you never spoke much about your life. I guess the extra two centuries must have had quite an impact… because you're not the type of man who loves easily."
"Then why are you with me?" He asked, genuinely curious as to why she'd settle for a man who was too afraid to express his feelings.
She thought about telling him that she understood him, and they worked, but she knew he needed more than that. "Truth is… I'm not that great with the emotional aspect of relationships either. But I have told you a few times and the sentiment remains the same, with or without your memories. I love you. I guess that's the reason."
"You still love me?" He asked trying not to sound excited. He had been right about her feelings. Suddenly, everything felt easier.
"Yeah… I mean those feeling don't go away just because someone has amnesia. It just sucks. We were finally finding a balance in our relationship. Now all that's gone, and we have to start over."
"How were we finding a balance? According to Pam, I spent a lot of time working and according to you, I was selfish with my emotions." He knew he should leave well enough alone, but he wanted to know exactly what he was like.
Tara gave his question some thought and remembered their conversation the night he was cursed. "Well, you did work a lot, but you always tried to be home early enough so we could spend time together. You always let me know if you had to leave. For the last few months, you delegated whatever it was you didn't need to do yourself. I guess we just found a comfortable routine. Even though you never wanted to talk about your feelings, I knew you loved me. Somehow, that was just enough." She added with a small shrug.
Eric didn't like what he was hearing. She loved him, so she settled for what he was willing to give, which wasn't much. "Did I ever say it?"
Tara looked confused for a moment, "say what?" she asked.
"That I loved you. Did I ever actually tell you?" he was getting annoyed. Not with her but with the man, he had turned into.
"No. But I know you did." She said quietly.
"You deserve so much more than me, but I'll never let you go. I guess one thing that hasn't changed is the fact that I'm selfish. If I thought, you'd believe me, I'd tell you I love you. I do. However, I know that's not good enough, you want to hear it from the man you fell in love with."
Tara wanted to argue with him and tell him that hearing it from him was enough, but he was right. She wanted to hear those three words, but she wanted them from the man she'd been living with. "You're right. I'm glad you feel that way, but it's not the right moment."
"I know." Eric stood up pulling her up with him. "Come with me, I have a little gift for you upstairs."
Tara looked at him suspiciously, "a gift? When exactly did you go out?"
Giving her a smug smile, "I didn't. I ordered it and had one of my many employees bring it here."
"Intriguing. Well, what are we waiting for? I can wait to see what sort of inappropriate article of clothing you bought me." She teased.
Eric was slightly taken aback, "what makes you think it's inappropriate?"
"You may not remember me, but I'm sure you're not that different. Plus, anything you've ever given me has been highly inappropriate." He remembered Pam specifically saying he never gave Tara gifts. He was glad to know that she had been wrong, maybe he wasn't so hopeless after all. "God, I really am a horrible boyfriend, huh?" He asked, laughing along with her.
She became serious again after his question. "Actually, I don't have a lot of experience when it comes to boyfriends, but you have actually been the best. Oh, but don't think cause you got me some frilly piece of lingerie you're getting lucky."
Laughing at her comment, "I would never be so presumptuous."
"Yeah you would." Eric laughed as he led her up to his room. Her statement opened his eyes. While the silk stockings were delicate and decadent, he'd never given her anything of value. He would have to call Pam again. He needed to find a jeweler. He looked over to her again, she was laughing with him. Her laugh brought him so much joy. He knew what he told her earlier was the truth, he'd never let her go. It was his mission to make sure she stayed happy and content, because they had an eternity ahead together.
I am so sorry about the long wait between updates. I wish I had a good reason why I took so long, but I don't. I went on vacation and when I got back home, I felt so uninspired. I promise the next installment will come shortly. In addition, I'm working on a follow-up for Broken Promises, Broken Hearts. Thanks for sticking with me.
