Pretty excited that I can get this chapter out quickly! I present Chapter 4 my cute little readers :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama its characters and same goes for Mulan and any other characters I mention in this chapter.
"Ugh! I can't believe they have me working in this kind of weather! I don't care if I'm a ninja! I'm a woman as well and woman need to be treated with delicacy!"
Sacchan was on her way home after completing a mission. It was a long day, and even longer night; especially because she was not provided a ride back home and had to walk back home, with only a flimsy paper umbrella to shield her from the rain and lightening.
"I can't believe they didn't even give me a horse! Do they care for their employees at all!?"
*Cue lightening and thunder*
"EEEEKKK!" Sacchan quickly found safety under a rock, "Ugh! I swear when I get home and change into DRY clothes I'm going to send those bastards a strongly worded letter-"
Before she could finish, she was nearly run over by a large white furball.
"GAAHH!" She narrowly escaped getting hit and turned to see who was it, "WHO THE HELL!?"
Before she could continue her rant, she realized that that big furball was strangely familiar. She tried to run after it, but the furball proved to be faster. From the distance she was at now, Sacchan could see a person with a heavy brown cloak and a very familiar purple umbrella….
"No way. It couldn't be!? Naahh, Kagura-chan wouldn't be out at a time like this, she's always complaining about how she needs her beauty sleep." Sacchan just merrily continued on her way home and tried to push that image out of her head.
However she couldn't. Something about that scene didn't seem right…."Ha…...ha ha ha…..It's not like she had this determination to protect her father and crossdress as a boy, joining the army in his place right? Yea of course not! That only happens in movies!"
Reassuring herself she continued on. Sacchan realized that Kagura's house would be on the way before she would reach hers, "THIS IS JUST A COINCIDENCE THAT THE FURBALL CAME RUNNING FROM THE DIRECTION OF KAGURA'S HOUSE."
Sacchan prayed that it wasn't true, but once she hit Kagura's house and saw that her front gates were wide open, all the pieces were starting to fit together…...and she freaked out.
"UMIBOUZU-SANNN! KAGURA IS GONE!"
Sacchan ran in the house like a mad women looking for Umibouzu.
"What is that sound!?" Umibouzu woke up from the racket Sacchan was making and went out of his room to see what was wrong.
"Umibouzu!" Sacchan desperately called out, "Umibouzu! Umi-"
"What!?" Umibouzu had found the source of the noise and angrily answered back at the woman who had rudely woke him up.
Sacchan ran over to him and tried to explain, but just couldn't get the words out.
"Umibouzu! Kagura….Sadaharu…...crossdress….."
"Sarutobi, what are you talking about? Who crossdressed!?"
"Furball…"
"Sadaharu crossdressed!?"
"No!" After taking a breath and collecting herself Sacchan simply explained, "Kagura's gone!"
"What…" Suddenly Umibouzu had this horrible feeling in his gut and prayed that it wasn't true.
He ran to his room, hoping to see the scroll, but only found the flower he put in his daughter's hair that afternoon. "No…..It can't be…"
Umibouzu runs outside,"Kagura! No-" he drops in pain from the sudden chill and his prosthetic stiffens up again.
"Umibouzu!" Sacchan runs to him and quickly helps him up, "We have to go after her! She could be killed! I'll go with Tsukuyo and Otae and we'll bring-"
Umibouzu stopped her, "If we reveal her..she will be.."
Sacchan could see how broken hearted Umibouzu was, and in this desperate situation, did the only thing she could, "Ancestors, hear my prayer. Watch over Kagura."
In the Family Temple, the head tombstone begins to light up, and as if it was a portal a figure steps out from it. The figure takes out a cigarette to light. She takes a puff and points at a bokuto thats on display, "Gintoki. Awaken."
On cue the bokuto shines a silver light from it, and the bright light lights the whole temple. light even leaks through to the outside.
The Head Ancestor stood there and continued smoking, waiting for him to come from the light. And she was completely disappointed when the light stopped shining and no one joined her.
She calmly put out her cigarette and walked over to the stand that was displaying the bokuto, and kicked it, "What the hell do you think you're doing!? Huh!? I just called you out and you completely ignored me!"
She picked up the bokuto and began hitting the ground with it, "Don't try and play dead with me! I know you're awake you lazy ass perm! Get your ass out here now!"
With a final strike, the bokuto flew from her hands, and shone silver again, and a figure formed. The bakuto reappeared again, this time hanging on the hip of a permed haired man.
"What do you want now Otose? I was taking my nap. You know throwing this thing," the silver perm indicated to the bokuto, "actually hurts ya know?" He rubbed the back of his neck in pain.
Otose, completely out of patience whacked Gintoki over the head, "You lazy bum, shut up and listen…."
"Don't worry old hag, I get the picture."
Otose's cigarette dropped from her mouth in utter shock, "Yo-you do?"
"Of course! Their brat daughter ran off to go join the army and get herself killed…"
Otose was beyond impressed that Gin actually understood the situation.
"...And you want me to protect her right?" Gin finished his explanation with a gleam in his smile and fully impressed with himself.
Otose deadpanned and just kept staring at him, "Gintoki…"
"Hold on old hag, I'm not done," Gin took out his bokuto and pointed it upward in a triumphant way, "anyone foolish enough to even threaten this family, vengeance will be mine!"
"Gintoki!" Otose lost it for a second, then quickly composed herself and explained to the silver permed fool, "Gintoki, these are the family guardians," she motioned above their heads to a bunch of stone Justaway statues, "They….."
"Protected the family."
"And you, O Demoted One…."
"I…..ring the gong….." Gin indicated to and oversized gong in the corner of the Temple
Satisfied, Otose lit another cigarette, "That's right, now do your job."
*Sigh* Gintoki had his bokuto in hand, and began to swing hitting the gong, "Alright you lazy sons of b #*%&$! Get your asses up! SLEEPY TIME'S OVVEERR!" Gin yelled while angrily ringing the gong.
Just like with Otose's tomb, the other tombs did the same and the rest of the ancestors came out.
Soon Gin and Otose were joined by the other ancestors who had very familiar faces.
"HA-HA-HA! I knew it! I knew that Kagura was going to be a troublemaker from the start!" a woman in green dress with cat ears, who eerily looks like Guy Lee cried out.
"Catherine-sama, according to my data on this family's history and tree," said a woman with a robotic voice, "Kagura-sama inherited these tendencies from your side of the family."
"What!? Why you!" The two began to argue.
"Ah! That poor child! All she wants to do is help out her father! With such passion too! It makes me tear," A pretty boy with blonde hair, exaggeratedly cried out.
Both Tama and Catherine stopped their argument and stated in unison,
"Stop that Kyoshiro-san, it's disgusting."
"Stop that pervert, it's disgusting."
Kyoshiro soon joined in on their arguement, "I am not a pervert! I'll have you know I was China's top host when I was alive!"
An older man, dressed like a mechanic joined in on the discussion, "But if she's discovered, Umibouzu will be forever shamed. Dishonor will surely come to the family. Traditional values will disintegrate!"
Everyone stopped and just stared at him with an 'are you serious' look.
"Oh and we'll lose the farm." He nonchalantly added.
This furthered the argument as Catherine added, "Hah! My children never caused such trouble; they all became acupuncturists!"
"According to my accumulated data, only one in every four ancestor in our family was an acupuncturist. The statistic that any of those ancestors were your children is incredibly low."
Catherine grabbed Tama by the collar, "Oi! You wanna start something!?"
Gengai stepped in to calm things down,"Oi oi, Catherine calm down. Tama was simply stating that we all can't be acupuncturists."
"No….." another ancestor began with menace laced in her voice, "Your great-granddaughter had to be a CROSS-DRESSER!"
"Whoa! What's with that sudden outburst Mutsu!?" Gengai exclaimed in shock.
Mutsu went into a fetal position and began to sulk, "I'm sorry, it's 'because everyone always mistakes me for a cross dresser. I don't dress like a man, it just happens that the clothes that I wear that are comfortable to work in are a tad masculine…"
Tama spoke again, "Wouldn't the most logical thing to do instead of fighting, to send one of the guardians to bring her back?"
Suddenly and idiotic looking man from nowhere jumped up with glee and exclaimed, "Hahaha! Yes that's a great idea! Lets send the most cunning! No wait, how about the fastest! Wait wait wait! The wisest!" The man looked around and pondered for a while.
"Oi oi! Kintoki! Do you think you could awaken all of them!?" The man was suddenly met with a fist to his face.
"Seriously!? Are you that stupid!? THE STATUES ARE ALL THE SAME!" Gin angrily exclaimed.
"There's no swiftest or most cunning or wisest! They're all the same!"
"So does that mean you can wake them all up Kintoki? Hahaha?" The idiot was knocked out at once.
"It's Gintoki! Damn that Sakamoto. Still gets on my nerves."
Otose raised an eyebrow at the scene, and blew out a puff of smoke, *Sigh* "Ok now that you're all calm, We won't send these guardians."
She seemed to get the attention of all of the guardians, including Gintoki, "We will send the most powerful of all…."
Otose was cut in by Gin, "Haha, ok ok. I get it, I'll go fetch the brat."
At that statement, all the guardians broke into laughter.
"What!? Why're you all laughing!?"
"Gintoki! You had your chance to protect the Yato Family!"
"According to the Family records, your misguidance lead Katsura-dono to disaster."
"Ahahaha! It's ok Gintoki! I have no hard feelings towards my own comrade! Ahahahaha!" Katsura happily sang with his head in his lap.
Gin looked at Katsura with some distress, "Haha, see…...just fine…..Anyway! What's your point!?"
"The point is, I'm going to send a real guardian to retrieve Kagura." Otose let out another puff of smoke.
"What!? I am a real guardian!" Gin grabbed at Otose's collar.
She took his hands and threw him out of the temple, and he was followed by the giant gong, "You're not even worthy of this thought! Now, awaken the Great Stone Elizabeth!"
"Ugh." Gin begrudgingly rolled the gong all the way down to where the Great Stone Elizabeth was. "Seriously, this duck thing is worthier than me!?"
Gin stared at the statue for a while, then decided he might as well quickly get it over with so he could get back to his strawberry milk, "Oi! Ducky! Wake up! You gotta go get that stupid brat!" The statue however remained unresponsive.
"Ugh seriously?" Gin found a rock and rolled it over in front of Elizabeth. Now he was at eye level, "Oi, seriously you gotta get up." He stared at the statue, but Elizabeth still didn't wake up. Gin grew anger marks, "C'mon I don't have time for this!" Nothing happened.
Gin brought out his bokuto and began tapping Elizabeth with it, "OOOOIIIII! ANYONE HOME!?" As he was continuously met with silence, Gin grew angrier and his taps, became strikes, "YOOOO! YOU NEED TO GET KAAAGGUURRAA!" Still Elizabeth didn't stir, "Hello! HELLO!?" That last strike caused Elizabeth's beak to break off.
"Oh shit." Gin quickly tried to place it back, but then he heard a cracking sound. He realized the whole statue started to crack and immediately what he had hoped wouldn't happen, happened. The whole statue fell apart.
"Haha you're just playing with me right Elizabeth? You were always such a kidder." All that was left was a beakless Elizabeth head staring at him. Sweat began to pour from Gintoki.
"SH* #&%!" Gin looked back at Elizabeth's head, "What am I gonna do!? That old hag's gonna kill me!"
"Great Stone Elizabeth!"
"Dammit! It's her!" Gin quickly looked around to see what he could do. With limited options, he did the only thing he could.
"Have you awakened!?"
"Uh, yes, I just woke up! Um, I am the Great Stone Elizabeth! Good morning! I will go forth and fetch Kagura! Did- did I mention that I am the Great Stone Elizabeth, haha?" Gin was holding Elizabeth's stone head in front of his own.
"Go! The fate of the Yato Family rests in your webbed feet."
"Uh...Yea! Definitely!" Gin began to walk away when Katsura called out from the window, "Elizabeth! Since when can you talk!?"
"Oh crap," Gin turned to the window, and tried to do his best to cover up, "Uh well…..you know…..that's just…..what a couple hundred years does to ya, y'know…." Sweatdrop from Gin.
Katsura looked confused at first, but clasped his hands as if he understood, "Oh! Of course how could I forget such a simple rule! My apologies Elizabeth! I wish you luck on your journey!"
"Haha….yea…" Gin said nervously and quickly dashed away.
When he was completely out of sight, he ditched the giant stone head, "What have I done now!? I'm doomed! It's all because that stupid wanna be man brat decided to take her ridiculous drag show on the road!"
Gin took a seat on a rock when a bush not too far from his began to rustle. He immediately reached for his bokuto, ready for whatever evil awaits, when he's suddenly meeted with an unfortunate looking man in a giant cricket costume.
"Oh hello…Do you by any chance know the way back to town?"
"Oh sure just down the road that way."
"Thank you so much."
Gin continued in his thoughts when the realization hit him, "Wait a damn second! What in the world are you!?" Gin grabbed the man by the collar, demanding his name.
"Hold on hold on! My name's Hasegawa! I'm an employee to the old man who sells fried crickets and this is just a costume!" He said in a pleading manner, hoping Gin would put him down.
"Sorry about that, I've just been on edge today."
"What's wrong?"
Gin immediately opened up to Hasegawa, "These damn greedy and demanding ancestors got me busting my ass for them left and right, and now I have to literally complete this IMPOSSIBLE task to save my face! I broke Elizabeth and now I have to retrieve that damn brat before she gets herself killed!"
"Well I mean…...all you have to do is go get her right?"
"Go GET her!? I'd have to bring her back with a medal to get back with the temple….."
Suddenly, Gin face was met with realization, "That's it!"
"What's it?" Hasegawa asked with a confused voice.
"I'll make Kagura a war hero, and they'll be praising and respecting me for life! I'll be the top guardian! That's the master plan!" Gin got up with determination and began to walk off.
"Uh yea...I guess….or you could do that…." Hasegawa stated nervously.
Hasegawa then called out to Gin, hoping to tag along and repay what he's done to Kagura, "Hey! Can I come along?"
"And why should you?" Gin called back lazily.
"...Because I'm lucky?"
"Lucky? You look like more of a Madao if anything."
"I know where she went."
"Lead the way."
Alright guy! Heres Chapter 4! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I'm super excited for the next chapter, and what it has in store, cause honestly I don't even know what the finished chapter will end up looking like. So I'm gonna get started on 5 as soon as I can! Thanks for reading :)
