The first thing he noticed when he woke up was the noise. There were people talking and things beeping. He wasn't in the woods anymore. He briefly wondered if he had ever been there at all. It all seemed like such a bad dream.
The second thing he registered was the pain. Okay, so it hadn't all been a nightmare then. Will let out a groan.
"Will?"
He knew that voice. He opened his mouth to say something but all that came out was a croak. A straw was held to his lips and he drank.
"Can you open your eyes?" Wesley asked. It took more time than it should, but Will managed to open his eyes, and he saw a bald Wesley beaming at him.
"You're bald."
"So are you."
"What?" Will's brain wasn't functioning properly.
"That's what happens when you fall asleep in the middle of the woods after being tortured for days. And that's not the only thing they shaved."
Will groaned when he figured out what Wesley meant. "What happened?"
"Are you sure you want to hear this now?"
"Yes."
"What do you remember?"
"Everything until I passed out."
"That's good. I was worried you wouldn't remember us making it out to the road. You were pretty out of it."
"So what happened after I passed out?"
"We were by the road for hours before someone finally drove by. Not exactly a busy road. They called 911 and waited until the ambulance got there. They even had a blanket on the car that they gave me so I could cover us up."
"Something I'm sure you were so concerned with by that point."
Wesley chuckled. "Not really, but it was kind of nice to have. The ambulance got there and brought us here."
"How long have we been here?"
"Five days."
"Five days? I've been out for that long? Have you already been discharged?"
"Yes and yes. Oh, and my mom is around the hospital somewhere."
"Did she know about us before this, or at least the possibility of us?"
"She did."
"Well that's a little better then I guess. So how are you anyway since you were already discharged?"
"I'm already healed. My physical injuries were thankfully not that bad. They tested me for all of the diseases that they could, but I am going to have to come back for more testing. Well, not here. I'll have to go to the doctor. Otherwise I'm fine."
"That's good. And I guess the reason we were shaved is because of ticks or something."
"Yep."
"How much longer do I have to be here for?"
"I think it's still going to be a while. Your burns were pretty bad. And your…" Wesley trailed off and picked up Will's hand. He kissed the bandage.
"Well look who's finally awake."
Will turned to the voice, a woman he didn't recognize was standing there. "Wesley's mother?"
She chuckled. "I see you're still out of it. Yes, I'm Wesley's mother, but you can call me Beverly."
Will smiled. He was getting really sleepy, but he had another question for Wesley. "Since you were already discharged have you been going to therapy?"
"No."
"Are you waiting for me?"
"Yes, but we can talk more about this later. You need to sleep."
Will nodded.
"Come on, Wes. Let's go," Beverly said, but Will grabbed Wesley's hand.
"He wants me to stay."
"Fine, but don't keep from sleeping. I'll be back tomorrow."
"Thanks Mom."
Wesley stretched out next to him. "Does it hurt if I press against you like this?"
"No more than it already does."
"I'm sorry. Do you want me to move?"
"Please don't."
"Okay. Get to sleep now." He kissed Will's cheek and Will sighed and went to sleep.
There was still pain the next time he woke up, but there was a warm weight pressed against him. "Are you awake?" he whispered.
"Yeah. How are you feeling?"
"Still in pain."
"I would imagine so."
"I'm sorry for all of this."
"It wasn't your fault."
"Yes it was. We wouldn't have been out there if it wasn't for me."
Wesley propped himself up on an elbow and looked down at Will. "You listen to me Will and you listen good. This is not your fault. I don't blame you and neither does my mom. You know where the blame lays? On that crazy guy who did this to us. You are the reason that we are still alive. Don't forget that."
Tears started falling from Will's eyes. "It's just so hard."
"I know." Wesley wrapped his arms around Will and held him while he cried. "It'll be okay, Will. We're both going to get the help that we need, and we'll help each other through this."
"You're handling this so much better than I am."
"You went through a lot more than I did."
"You went through something pretty horrific too."
"Will, I'm not trying to downplay what happened to me. I'm just saying that you went through a lot worse."
"I don't believe that."
Wesley snorted. "Of course you don't."
"You're kind of amazing, you know that?"
Wesley laughed. "I'm pretty sure that's why you brought me out there in the first place."
"I'm pretty sure you're right."
They lie together on Will's bed, watching TV and talking. Beverly came in and spent some time with them. She was surprisingly supportive of their relationship and offered to help the two of them as much as she could.
Nurses were in and out of his room all day, checking on him and the progress he was making.
Finally it was night and the hospital was peaceful. Wesley was on his side, an arm thrown across Will. Neither of them slept and Will decided to talk first. "Have you been sleeping?"
"Not well."
"Nightmares?"
"Yes."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I'm sure you'll be getting them too."
"I know."
Silence again and then Wesley kissed his cheek. Wesley moved from his cheek to his lips. Will held Wesley in his arms, relishing in how nice it was to get lost in a kiss with Wesley like this. Wesley pulled away, breathing heavily. "Sorry. I needed that."
"Don't be sorry. That was nice."
Wesley sighed and settled back next to him.
"Wesley, if you have a nightmare you can wake me up."
"Are you sure? You still have so much healing to do."
"I'm sure."
Wesley nodded against him and Will drifted off.
Will wasn't sure what had woken him up. Then he felt the body next to him shifting restlessly. He wanted to wake Wesley but he was afraid of hurting him worse or of Wesley hurting him. He placed a hand on Wesley's chest, gently, and began to rub soothing circles. Wesley began to calm and eventually he sighed and snuggled against Will. Will smiled, happy he was able to help Wesley, and went back to sleep.
The next time he woke up it was morning, and the spot next to him on the bed was cold. He wondered how long Wesley had been awake for. Wesley walked into the room.
"Wow, Wesley, you look really good."
"I feel good. I slept so well last night."
"No nightmares then?"
"None that I can remember."
Will smiled as Wesley walked up and kissed him. Wesley didn't need to know that he had actually had a nightmare last night. All that mattered was that he didn't remember.
"How are you feeling?"
"Less pain."
Wesley smiled at him. "That's really good. Maybe you'll get out soon and we can start going to therapy."
"Well aren't you eager to get to therapy."
Wesley chuckled. "I just want to get this whole mess behind us. I want to try to have as normal a life as possible."
Will noticed that Wesley said he wanted close to as normal a life as possible rather than a normal life. That was probably smart. They would both probably wind up happy and well adjusted, but this was something that would likely always haunt them.
"I don't blame you. It'll be nice to get back to routine. Mostly I can't wait to get out of this hospital."
"It'll be nice to get back to classes again."
"I keep forgetting you're only twenty."
Wesley climbed into bed next to him. "It's because I'm so awesome."
"Wait, now I remember." He laughed when Wesley swatted at him, but Wesley was laughing too. It would take some time, but they would be okay.
Will had finally been released from the hospital. Beverly had driven him and Wesley to Will's place and now Wesley was staying with him. He was still amazed by how understanding Beverly had been, but she seemed to agree that he and Wesley were going to need each other in order to get through this, so he didn't say anything.
They were getting ready for bed now. Will took his pain meds. They were still necessary, but at least in a smaller dose than he had been taking at the hospital. He climbed into bed next to Wesley, grateful that he wasn't going to have to sleep alone tonight. He was sure that Wesley felt the same way. He sighed as he settled into bed, his bed, finally. Wesley curled up against him and kissed him goodnight. The drugs helped Will fall asleep very quickly.
The dagger was a comforting weight in his hand. The blade was freshly sharpened and ready to slice into flesh. The boy in the chains was screaming, pleading with him, begging for his life. He just laughed and didn't miss the shiver it caused in the boy. Good. He was glad he could cause fear, he was glad the boy was afraid of him. He should be. Will was about to have some fun with him.
He poked the dagger at the boy's chest and slowly dragged it upwards, forcing the boy to lift his chin and look Will in the eye.
Will woke with a start, sitting up in bed, trembling and sweaty.
"Will, it's okay. It was just a dream."
Will shook his head and began to sob. Will couldn't remember a time when he had cried so hard.
Wesley wrapped his arms around Will and Will cried into his neck. He knew what the dream meant. He knew he would never hurt Wesley and he would certainly never try and carve him up, but Will felt responsible for what had happened even though he knew that he shouldn't.
Finally the sobs subsided. Will fell back onto the bed exhausted.
"You sleep Will. We can talk about this in the morning."
Will nodded his agreement and was asleep before Wesley had even settled back against him.
Morning came quickly, too quickly for Will's liking. He was still exhausted and still wanted to sleep, but mostly he was still shaken by the nightmare that he had. Instinctively, he reached out for Wesley.
"I'm here, Will."
Of course he was. He was still pressed up against Will. Will hadn't even noticed that. How could he have missed something like that?
"Are you okay, Will?"
"I don't know," Will answered truthfully.
"Will, your nightmare last night. What happened? That was pretty intense."
Will wanted to forget that nightmare had ever happened, but he knew it was going to stick with him for the rest of his life.
"You were in my place. You were the one who was cut up. The cutting was done by me though."
"Will, you know what that was really about, don't you?"
"I know. I still feel like this whole thing was my fault even though I know it wasn't. We really need to start therapy soon."
Wesley laughed. "As soon as you can get around without the pain meds."
"That'll be nice too. I'm kind of tired of being tired all of the time and I'm tired of sleeping just to not be in pain." Will groaned. "I just want this whole mess to be over with."
Wesley ran a hand over Will's shaved head. "I know. I want the same thing. But one step at a time, right? Let's see about getting some breakfast right now."
"I don't really want to move."
"You don't have to. I'll make you breakfast in bed."
Will smiled at him. "Have I told you lately how amazing you are?"
Wesley chuckled and kissed Will before heading out of the bedroom.
They had a long journey ahead of them. The road to recovery would not be easy, but they had each other and they would help each other through it all, and in the end, they would be all right.
"You look nervous."
"So do you."
"I am nervous."
"I'm ready to be done with this."
"This is only our first session, and weren't you the one who was chomping at the bit to get here anyway?"
"And now that I'm here, I'm not sure it's where I really want to be."
"Wes, I thought you wanted to get all of this behind you? I thought you wanted to have as much of a normal life as you possibly could? This is the way to do that."
"But there are things that I'm not sure I should share with her."
"I know what you mean."
"Will, maybe we should just go. Maybe this is a huge mistake."
"Wes, we haven't even walked into the building yet. We're still sitting in the car."
"And that's what makes leaving so much easier."
Will took Wesley's face in his hands and leaned in to kiss him. It took a few minutes but he finally got Wesley to relax.
"This doesn't mean that I'm okay now."
"But at least I got you to calm down."
"And you're so proud of yourself, aren't you?"
Will chuckled and got out of the car, waiting for Wesley to finally get out too. He had been out of the hospital for a month now, but he hadn't been able to make it here sooner. He supposed he could have, actually, but he didn't really try that hard.
He had been miserable for the month. He had stayed in bed for most of it, despite complaining that he didn't want to be there. His skin had still been healing and he felt phantom pains and itches where his finger used to be.
It hadn't been a pleasant month for him. Wesley, on the other hand, seemed to be healing just fine. He had taken care of Will and though Will had tried to get him to talk more than once, Wesley had been adamant about being just fine. Yet here he was, nervous about going to therapy.
Will put an arm around Wesley's shoulders. "It's going to be fine, Wes. You'll see."
"You say that, but you don't know. What if it's not fine?"
"How could it not be fine?"
"What if we're never healed? What if we can never move past this?"
Will stopped walking and turned Wesley to face him. "Is that what this is really about?"
Wesley nodded.
"Look, Wes, we're not going to be perfect and I think you know that. I also think you know that we probably won't ever be our usual selves again. But we can still live a decent life. We just have to make sure that this doesn't control our lives. We have to take control of it. And how are we ever going to do that if we don't work through our issues. You're probably going to have intimacy issues, and I certainly have issues with my guilt about this whole thing. This is the stuff that we need help with. This is the stuff that we have to move past if we want to have any kind of life at all."
Wesley nodded and they continued their walk towards the building. Will had a moment of panic where he felt like Wesley did and just wanted to turn and run. He knew this was what they needed though, so he squashed that feeling down and got his breathing under control.
The wait felt like an eternity, though realistically it was more like ten minutes before they were seated side by side on the couch, Dr. Pulaski in front of them.
They started by telling her about their camping trip and about what had happened in that room. They told her about their escape and then about their hospital stay. He and Wesley hadn't recounted the story in whole like that yet, and it had been harder than he would have expected.
The story took a while to get through and their time was up without having done anything else. Dr. Pulaski claimed it was a good start though. They thanked her and said they would see her there the same time in two days.
"That felt like a waste of time," Wesley claimed as they headed back to the car.
"I don't think I would say that. We haven't told the entire story to anyone. It felt good to get it out there."
"Yeah, but that was all we did."
"Wes, this is going to take time. We aren't going to be fixed in just a couple of sessions."
"I know that."
"Do you really?"
Wesley glared at him. Will laughed. "Come on, Wes. Just give it some time. I'm sure Dr. Pulaski knows what she's doing."
"I didn't say that she didn't know what she was doing, I just said that that session felt like a waste of time."
"Well she had to know what was going on, right?"
"I hate it when you're smart."
Will chuckled. "No you don't. You love it."
"Maybe sometimes."
They got into the car and Wesley sighed, resting his back against his seat. He looked so tired.
"Wes, have I thanked you for taking such good care of me this past month?"
"You've said thank you lots of times for various things."
"Wes, I'm serious. I don't think I would have survived that month without you."
Wesley looked over at him, concern written on his face. "Will…"
"Don't. I'm past that, but it's the truth. So thank you for getting me through all of that."
Wesley placed a hand onto his knee. "You're welcome."
They drove home in silence, each of them lost in their own thoughts. He hadn't been lying to Wesley. He honestly didn't think he would have survived this past month if Wesley hadn't been there for him. It was a scary thought, one he was sure they would go over in therapy.
When they got to the house they got out of the car but Wesley stopped him at the front door. He kissed Will, a slow sweet kiss. "Believe it or not Will, I don't think I would have survived the past month without you either. Taking care of you kept me going and I'm not sure what I would have done without that."
Will huffed out a laugh. "I guess we really will get through this together."
Wesley kissed him again. "Yes we will, Will. Yes we will."
