Chapter 4

The children were in the middle of eating lunch when Homer ushered Wally and Candy into the dining room. Suddenly everyone was on their best behavior, cognizant of the visitors' purpose. Homer pushed Wally's wheelchair slowly down the length of the room, Candy walking beside them, as he introduced each of the children. They all smiled at the couple, some trying harder than others to win their affection, their hopes rising unwittingly at the thought of finding a new family.

"This is Charlie and Simon. And Hugo," said Homer.

Candy smiled at the children, but as they neared the end of the room the expression was slowly disappearing, leaving a hollow, haunted look in her eyes. It didn't help that Wally wanted to talk the children, ask them questions and laugh at the odd things a couple of them blurted out. She just wanted it to be over as quickly as possible.

They finally reached the last of the children, then Homer brought them back to the head table where Mary Agnes, Edna and Angela were waiting for them.

"So, what do you think?" Homer asked, not noticing Candy's shining eyes which were beginning to brim with tears.

"I think they're great," confirmed Wally, more happily than Homer had heard him since they arrived. "Honey?"

Candy tried to smile but was not quite able to do it. "They're… They're all wonderful of course."

"Did you like one of them in particular?"

She looked away, to the door rather towards the children. "Um, I don't know…"

"Well, we have to decide."

"I know, I just… I can't just choose like that. I have to think."

"But surely you have some favorites?" Wally said persistently.

"Wally, please," Candy said quietly, aware of four sets of eyes on her belonging to the St. Cloud's residents.

"What?"

"I can't do this right now. Excuse me," Candy mumbled as she walked quickly out of the room, leaving Wally gaping.

"Sorry," he said with a quick shrug. "We've been preparing for this day for months."

"It's quite alright, she just needs some time. Doesn't she, Homer?" said Angela, but Homer didn't respond. "Are you hungry, Mr. Worthington? There's sandwiches if you are."

"Ah, yeah. Yes, thank you."

The adults sat around the table, Angela attempting to engage Wally in conversation as she hated awkward silences. Homer was still looking at the door where Candy had exited.

"Just give her a minute, Homer, she'll be fine," Wally said.

"Sure. I just need to go check on some patients, then I'll be back."

"You haven't had any lunch," Mary Agnes reminded him.

"I'll have something later. You all eat without me." Homer didn't look at any of them as he left the room too.

Mary Agnes watched him go, swallowing hard. Somehow she knew the few patients they had at the moment weren't the ones on his mind.


Homer found her on the front porch. He shrugged on his coat and borrowed Mary Agnes's scarf to wrap around his neck. Outside the temperature had dropped by a couple of degrees and more snow was falling, but Candy did not look like she was coming inside any time soon. She was smoking a cigarette, inhaling quickly as her fingers were shaking from the cold. She stamped her feet repeatedly, making her blond curls bob.

"Getting some fresh air?" Homer said sardonically, nodding at her cigarette.

She nodded and offered him her packet, but he refused.

"You alright?" Homer asked.

"Sure. I just need a minute," she said, clearing her throat when her voice came out a little hoarse.

"Do you mind some company?"

"If you don't mind the cold."

"Cold? This isn't cold. You should visit in January."

They stood side by side without speaking for a few minutes, staring out over the white expanse of the orphanage yard. Candy lit another cigarette.

"Your wife's very pretty," she commented lightly.

Homer smiled slightly but he did not look at her.

"How long have you two known each other?"

"All our lives. She was raised here like me."

"Dr. Wells," she mused. "I always knew you would do something special. The way you took care of Rose Rose…"

"I just did what I was trained to do," said Homer dismissively.

"Whoever taught you did a helluva job." Candy turned to face him. "You took care of her, Homer. Cared about what happened to her. The same way you took care of me."

Homer let out a long breath which turned to smoke and fogged his view. The image of Candy's naked form flooded his memory as he recalled what it was like to be with her, how he'd never wanted anything as much as he'd wanted her.

His barely managed a murmur. "That was a long time ago."

"A lifetime," she said dully.

He finally risked a glance in her direction, but Candy was staring out over the yard once more.

"You never told Wally, did you?"

"No. I wouldn't hurt him like that." She took a drag on her cigarette. "I figured I've done penance for my sins anyway. Been punished enough for everything I've ever done."

"Candy–"

"It's not ironic that I can't children of my own after what I did the last time

I came here… it's a punishment, simple as that."

"Is that what you believe?"

Candy turned her hard gaze on him. "It's what I know."


When he returned inside after Candy decided she didn't want his company after all, Homer found Wally still in the dining room being entertained by Angela and Edna. Mary Agnes was nowhere to be found, but he suspected she was playing with the children to take their minds off the impending selection by the adopting couple. Given Candy's reaction, however, Homer wondered if there would be any adoption at all. Certainly the decision wasn't as easy as she had Wally had anticipated.

Angela and Edna excused themselves on Homer's return, a little gratefully if he wasn't mistaken. Wally looked at Homer apologetically, aware of the fuss they had caused.

"It's fine, don't worry about it. It's often like this," Homer lied. He didn't bother to tell Wally that he'd spoken to Candy outside. Instead he offered his old friend some coffee which they sipped in silence for a while.

"You're doing a good job here, Homer. Those nurses were singing your praises," said Wally.

"They do that with everyone, in case the Board of Trustees has sent a spy to make sure we aren't wasting their money."

"You ask me they could do with giving you a bit more." Wally hadn't failed to notice the rising damp or the flaking paint on the walls.

"We do alright," Homer said evenly.

"Even so, we'd like to make a donation."

"Wally, that isn't necessary–" Homer started to protest, then thought better of it. If his meeting with the Board did not go well on Thursday they would all be relying on donations to help secure a teacher.

"It may not be necessary but we'd like to do it. Regardless of what we decide," Wally said firmly. "Lord knows we can't take it with us when we die."

"You look like you're doing well for yourself," said Homer.

Wally shrugged casually, as only someone who'd grown up with money could. "We're doing okay. I've made some changes since I took over the business, and so far they've paid off."

"How's your mother?"

"She's well. Impatient for the patter of little feet," said Wally a little sadly. "This isn't the way we pictured it happening, but it's not like we have choice in the matter now."

He drained his coffee cup which Homer then refilled.

"How have you been, Wally?" asked Homer slowly, half regretting the words as soon as they left his mouth.

Wally let out a quiet snort. "You mean apart from never being able to walk again? Or having my ass wiped by a six foot Swedish valet every day? I've been doing great, Homer."

Homer looked away guiltily, not knowing what else to say. Wally held up his hand in an apologetic gesture.

"Sorry. It's just… I never expected to find myself here. Not like this." He looked down at his legs which were still covered in a lap rug. "You know, I used to wish I'd never made it out. The first couple of years after I got back were hell. I thought I would have been better off if… But I still have Candy. She's been a real peach about the whole thing. I couldn't ask for a more devoted wife."

Homer took a long sip of his coffee, unable to say anything.

"It's the baby," Wally murmured after a pause. "The one before… That's why this is so much harder for her. If we hadn't decided to get rid of it we would have a child of our own now."

"Wally, you were going away to war…"

"I know that. So does Candy. But she still blames herself, even though it's my fault we can't–" Wally gripped the arms of his wheelchair. "I don't mean to offend you, Homer, but adopting a child… it isn't the same. We wanted to have children that were ours, you know?"

Homer looked down at the coffee cup in his hands. "I understand."

"These are great kids and we'd be lucky to have any one of them, but…"

"It's not the same as having your own baby," Homer finished for him.

"Yeah." Wally sighed tiredly and rubbed his hand over his forehead. "But she'll be okay. We've talked about it for months, and we both want this. We'll give one of them a good home."

"I know you will," Homer said quietly in response, an idea forming in his mind. He looked over to Wally who was looking drained. "Are you alright, Wally?"

"Just tired. It's amazing how exhausted I get, sitting around all day. But ever since I got sick, I don't have the stamina any more."

"You should take a nap, we can make you up a bed."

"Nah, that's okay. We might head back to the hotel. Come back tomorrow."

Homer looked out the window at the snow which was still falling steadily. "You should stay, the road won't be safe until this storm stops."

"I don't want to put you out."

"It's no trouble."

Homer stood up and stuck his head outside the dining room where spotted Candy talking to Angela at the top of the stairs. He asked the latter to fix up one of the examining rooms for Wally, explaining his need to rest. Candy looked worriedly at Homer in case there was something he wasn't telling her, but he smiled reassuringly.

Once Wally was settled comfortably, Homer offered his hand to Candy who had emerged from the examination room. She smiled involuntarily at the gesture.

"What?" she asked coyly.

"I have someone I want you to meet."

The spark disappeared from Candy's visage. "I'm not up to meeting anyone else today, Homer."

"Trust me," he said simply and led her down the corridor.

When they arrived at the nursery Candy stopped at the doorway, her breath catching in her throat. With a squeeze of her hand, Homer urged her inside. Baby Katherine was fast asleep but Wilbur was awake, lying quietly on his back in his crib. Homer picked him up gently.

"Candy, I'd like you to meet Wilbur," he said, a smile tugging at his lips. He watched as Candy's eyes lit up and she grinned.

"He's beautiful," she breathed.

Homer handed the baby to her, careful to cradle his head as he did so. Wilbur snuggled against Candy who rocked him gently. She murmured quietly to him, telling him how adorable he was.

"He's two months old," Homer told her.

"He was just left here?"

Homer nodded.

"How could anyone leave you?" she whispered to Wilbur, and walked over to the window.

Homer left in alone for a few minutes, ostensibly checking Katherine's chart and making a few notes. Then he sidled up to Candy and touched Wilbur's forehead, checking his temperature.

"He had a cold but he's better now."

"He's perfect." Candy smiled down at the baby and didn't notice Homer's gaze.

"You know, you don't have to take one of the older boys. You could raise Wilbur here as your own."

Candy looked up in surprise, as if it hadn't occurred to her.

"I don't know… Wally and I always thought it would be easier with a child that was already walking, with the wheelchair and all." Candy looked back at Wilbur, already attached to him. "I never thought about a baby."

"Well, the choice is yours," said Homer. "Why don't you talk it over with Wally?"

Candy's eyes were misty when she looked back at Homer. "I will. Thank you."

They shared a smile, and did not hear Mary Agnes walk into the room.

"What are you doing in here?" she snapped.

Homer and Candy looked over to Mary Agnes as two angry pink spots appeared on her cheeks.

"I was just introducing Candy to Wilbur. She and Wally are going to think about adopting him," explained Homer, unaware of the reaction he was to receive.

"I don't think so." Mary Agnes strode across the room and took Wilbur roughly from Candy's arms. The abrupt movement unsettled the baby and he started howling.

"Mary Agnes, what are you doing?" said Homer, growing angry himself.

"She said she wanted one of the older boys. Not Wilbur," she retorted hotly.

Candy shrunk back and stammered an excuse to leave the room.

"No, wait," said Homer. He turned back to his wife. "You're being irrational. What is wrong with you?"

"Irrational? Is that what you think?" Mary Agnes's eyes were wild as she clutched the crying baby to her. "I think it's completely rational, considering. She's not a fit mother for Wilbur. You can't give him to her, just because she got rid of her own baby."

"Mary Agnes, that is enough," Homer said sternly. He turned to apologize to Candy, but she just shook her head and gestured that it wasn't necessary.

"I'm going to go check on Wally," she choked out, before fleeing from the room.

Homer rounded on Mary Agnes. "How could you say that?"

"I only said what was true," she replied, but was already feeling regretful over the outburst. She patted Wilbur's back to hush his crying.

"It was cruel and unnecessary."

Mary Agnes felt her throat grow tight when she realized how furious Homer was with her. He had never said a cross word to her before, and she hated seeing the disappointment in his eyes now. She own pain was masked with growing rage when she reminded herself that he was defending her.

"You can't just give Wilbur away," she growled.

"That's exactly what I can do. He was left here, and if Wally and Candy can give him a good home…"

"He has a home here!"

"It's not the same, and you know it. At least, you would if you'd ever been adopted. But you didn't. So don't deny Wilbur that chance just because you were never chosen."

Hot tears fell down Mary Agnes's cheeks at his words, betrayal in her eyes, causing Homer to stop. He stepped towards her but she moved away, clutching the baby to her chest.

"I won't let you give Wilbur to that woman!" Mary Agnes spat angrily.

"He's not yours!" Homer retorted.

She smiled bitterly through her tears. "Maybe not, but he's not hers either."