The next day I spent the majority of the day on the bridge. It was a quiet day in fact. And truth while I welcomed it, I also was hoping for a little challenge to keep my mind off my dilemma. Things were a little strained with Uhura, Sulu, Spock and I as well. Strained, but not in a bad way. It was more of an emotional strain as we all knew that this could be one of our last days together on the bridge. Scotty and Bones were quite to me as well. I was sort of grateful, for I was sure I'd get an earful at least from Bones.
Sulu had gone down to Med Bay without me knowing to see why Bones had not been on the bridge that day.
"Doctor, McCoy, everything all right here in Med Bay?" He asked.
"Been a quiet day. Why?"
"Normally, when you aren't busy here you're on the bridge. Why you're there often, I haven't figured out."
"I'm there for Jim."
"He needs you now. Why are you not there?"
"He needs me? You know there are rumors going around that he's leaving. I'm sure you heard that he sent out a ship wide message saying he is thinking about it. I'm sure you even got one."
"You didn't?" Mr. Sulu asked.
"No."
"Neither did I." Sulu said.
"You didn't, Mr. Sulu?"
"No, Dr. McCoy."
"But you know something?" Bones asked knowingly.
"Yes. Captain Kirk talked to me in his quarters."
Bones looked at Sulu a little irritated. "He did?"
"Yes, as he did Lt. Uhura and Spock."
"So, he in some way has told everyone but me. And you wonder why I'm not on the bridge. If I were, I'd ring his neck."
"Doctor McCoy, he's under a lot of stress. He needs his friends. He needs his family. He needs you as both."
"Save your sweet talk Mr. Sulu. Look, I think you and I both know why he hasn't said anything to me."
"Because it's hard."
"Because I'd try to talk him out of it."
"Doctor McCoy, that's not what he needs, and you know it."
Mr. Sulu left and returned to the bridge. It was still quiet. Too quiet.
At the end of the day I returned to my quarters. I took out my communicator, "Kirk to Scotty."
"Yes, sir?"
"Tomorrow morning I'll need you to come by my quarters."
"Aye captain." He said softly. I think that he had an idea. Tomorrow was going to be a not enjoyable day.
In the morning Scotty buzzed at my quarters. I went to the door to let him in. "Morning Scotty, come on in." I said.
"All alright captain?" He asked.
"Yes. Scotty, I'm sure you know why I have asked you here."
"I've heard talk, yes sir. I know you were given terrible news about your mother. And I too, would want to go down there for a while to be with her."
"Scotty…there is more."
"Yes, sir."
"When I go, I'm not sure that I'll be coming back."
"Sir?"
"There is a real possibility that Spock will be the captain after I leave. If I do decide to resign my command, I'll be recommending Spock to take my place as captain of the Enterprise."
Scotty gave me the same look he gave me when I told him that I excepted his resignment several years earlier. I looked down. "Scotty, I want you to know that there is a reason to why you have not received word of this before now."
"Aye captain."
"The reason is, it's hard. It's a hard decision that lays ahead of me. And you know that each member of this ship, no ranking to high ranking has a special place in my heart. Each member is my family."
"And we all feel the same."
"Scotty, I sent out a ship wide notice saying my impending decision to all but a select few. These select few have a bigger place in my heart and it's harder for me to say goodbye. You are one of the select few that saying goodbye to is very painful."
"Saying goodbye is never easy Jim. But it doesn't have to be forever. If you resign your command, you'll still be my captain. Our captain. Spock will be a great captain, though he'll never fill your shoes. Jim, you're not just the captain, but you're also our friend. My friend. My dear friend."
"As you are mine, Scotty. Many years ago, when you resigned it was painful for me to except that. But as the captain I had a job to do and my orders, so I had to. I didn't want to."
"I know that captain."
"Thank you for coming in." I said softly.
"So, everyone knows now?" Scotty asked.
"One doesn't."
Scotty nodded his head. "And he's the hardest."
"That is why I saved him for last."
"I wish you well in your decision. I hope that you do return, and I look forward to you coming back if it is possible for you to do so."
"I love you Scotty. I hope you know that."
"Aye, Jim. And I love you."
We gave each other a tearful hug and went about the day.
Again, it was a quiet day, and after duty I went back to my quarters, got out two glasses, and "Kirk to McCoy."
