A/N: My sincere and most heartfelt thanks to all those who read and left comments on the chapters. It was very interesting to read what your were thinking after reading the chapters!

Please enjoy: Chapter 4


Chapter 4: Senescence

xxx Souichi xxx

By the time Souichi finally wrapped up that day's experiment and met Morinaga at the gates, it was already an hour past their agreed timing. He had stayed back partly to complete the colourimeter assay but it was mostly because he had not wanted Yamaha to feel that he was alone in carrying out the lab work.

After the huge reprimand by Souichi, the two of them had not exchanged more words than necessary. Yamaha had, for once, not contradicted Souichi while he gave instructions and had prepared the new samples for extraction in record time. The boy had been so focused that he had even ignored the persistent ringing of his cell, which had only stopped when Yamaha had switched it to vibration mode.

Those actions showed Souichi that Yamaha had indeed felt some contriteness and his manner had softened accordingly. He decided not to alert Prof. Fukushima about the afternoon's debacle. Perhaps there was still a chance to mend the strained ties between him and his kouhai.

Souichi's mood lightened somewhat as he neared the school gates, a familiar figure leaning against the brick pillar. Their eyes met over the distance. Morinaga straightened and hurried towards him, his youthful face lit up in a bright smile. "Sempai! Konbanwa!"

"Sorry, did you wait long?" Souichi paused as the younger man wound a woolen scarf around his neck. It had become their ritual for Morinaga to bring a scarf for him every time he picked Souichi up from school. It was a silly routine, easily sidestepped if Souichi were to directly wear one to school but he had accidentally- on- purpose forgotten to do so. Besides, if it made Morinaga happy then Souichi saw no harm in continuing this.

"Okay, all wrapped up! You sent me a text to tell me that you'd be late, Sempai, so I just waited at home until you were ready! Were you worried that I'd be cold out here?" Morinaga's tone was gleeful as he imagined Souichi's worried expression.

"Baka! Who would have the time to worry about y—achoo! A—achoo!" A series of sneezes caught Souichi off- guard. By the time the attacks were over, his nose felt simultaneously stuffed and leaky.

"It seems like you are really coming down with a cold, Sempai. Luckily, I bought you some flu medication. I checked with the pharmacy; it's safe for pregnancy. You have to eat them later!"

"…Thanks, Morinaga."


Later that night, Souichi and Tetsuhiro stayed in the living room to do their respective work. The herb experiments required a lot of data- crunching and he only had a limited amount of time to analyse and arrange the information into a concise and useful format for Prof. Fukushima. And that was why he was still typing away at his laptop when Morinaga spoke up softly from the couch.

"Sempai? It's almost twelve. Do you want to go to bed?"

"Hnn." Deep in concentration, Souichi rapidly plotted a scatter curve with his tabulated data, trying to see if there was a trend in the results. Vaguely, he felt Morinaga shift closer to him.

"It's late and you should take a break because of your cold. I'll give you a back massage before we turn in. Let's go, Sempai."

"Just a minute more. Sorry, Morinaga, could you pour me a cup of barley tea?" Souichi frowned a little at the screen; there seemed to be quite a few unexpected results. He only looked up for a moment to thank Morinaga when the man set a warm cup of tea beside him but soon he was immersed in numbers and graphs.

"…Sempai?"

"Morinaga, you idiot! Let me concentrate on this for a moment. Go to the bedroom first; I'll join you in a minute." Souichi glared irritably at his kouhai. Since his pregnancy, Morinaga's hovering had increased significantly. It made Souichi want to strangle the man sometimes. Behind him, he thought he heard the man sigh but no more words were uttered.

It was only when he had tabulated all the raw data, calculated the errors and plotted a trend curve for the first twenty herb samples that he realized that the apartment was still and quiet. The cup of tea had turned tepid long ago and Morinaga was nowhere in sight. Stretching and stifling a deep yawn, Souichi switched off his computer and padded into his room. The glowing alarm clock in the darkened room surprised him. Three am. Time had flown away from him.

"…Sempai? You are done with work?" Morinaga's voice, raspy with sleep, sounded from his bed. There was some shuffling as he pushed the blanket aside and sat up, rubbing his eyes. "I'll massage your back before you sleep. It should make you more comfortable." Morinaga was already reaching for the balm that sat on the bedside table.

Souichi did not move from his place by the door for a moment, just quietly traced the outline of Morinaga moving around in the dark. His exhaustion suddenly diminished and became insignificant. Morinaga had been waiting up for him just so he could give him his nightly back massage before sleep. For some reason, Souichi found it hard to speak.

"Sempai?" There was a questioning note in Morinaga's voice at Souichi's lack of response.

"Ahh, yes. I—I just thought you were asleep." His voice came out weird—high- pitched and sort of wavery. Cursing silently, Souichi nevertheless climbed into bed beside the dark- haired man and lay down on his side. He shivered slightly as Morinaga lifted his pajama top and the cold cream touched the small of his back. Morinaga's hand began to knead the tensed muscles in slow but firm circles.

By the time he was done, Souichi was already half- asleep, his body warmed and relaxed from Morinaga's ministrations. He felt the bed shift slightly as Morinaga settled back into bed beside him, their shoulders not quite touching. Souichi glanced at the profile of his lover. Morinaga's eyes were already drifting close, chest rising in a steady rhythm. The silly baka had been tired.

With a quiet sigh that conveyed all the unspoken swirl of emotion in him, Souichi leaned gently over the sleeping man and touched his lips to Morinaga's for the briefest of moments. "Oyasumi nasai…"


"Yamaguchi, have you seen Yamaha around?" It was already past nine am but his assistant was still nowhere to be seen. Souichi was beginning to get annoyed. That brat. He could have at least notified Souichi via email if he wasn't intending to show up. They had a full set of experiments planned for the day and the workload was not something that Souichi could handle alone.

"Ahh, I haven't seen him around today either, Tatsumi- Sempai! Maybe he took sick leave?"

Nobody knew where Yamaha was, and as the time ticked past, Souichi's temper rose higher. When it really looked like Yamaha was going to be absent for the day, Souichi began on the work, his mind filled with myriad ways to kill the bastard.


One day turned into two, then into three. Yamaha's continued absence worried even Prof. Fukushima, who had not received any notification from the man himself. As for Souichi, the past few days had become a nightmare, with every hour between eight am to ten pm spent on rushing out the experiments. Even at home, Souichi could not turn in early, what with having to reschedule and re- plan for all the activities for the coming week. His cold had also come back with a vengeance and Souichi had worked through the days with a leaking nose and constant headache.

Morinaga had been uncharacteristically quiet about his crazy schedule. For the past few days, the young man would rush down to the university once his work for S Pharmaceuticals was completed. Morinaga not only assisted him in the lab work but also made sure that he ate his meals and medication on time. Late at night when they were in bed, Morinaga would wordlessly rub his back, soothing him to sleep. Souichi thought that Morinaga was past his hovering phase and was immensely relieved that he did not nag him further when he was already beyond stressed out.

It was the forth morning that Morinaga finally exploded. Souichi was brushing his hair back into its customary ponytail when Morinaga spoke up. Souichi was only half- listening as he went through a mental checklist for that day's activities.

"…overexert yourself."

"Huh, sorry, Morinaga, could you repeat?" Souichi was already slinging his backpack over his shoulders and hurrying towards the genkan. He had some samples that he had to remove from the incubator by seven- thirty am and it was already seven.

"I said, could you please try not to overexert yourself, Sempai? You have been working non- stop for the past few days-!" Morinaga's tone was imploring, a troubled expression on his face.

Exasperated and pressed for time, Souichi turned back to the younger man and tried to rein in his temper. "What's with you, saying all this now? Ahh, damnit, I don't have the time to deal with this—talk to you later if you are coming by the school."

Souichi was jerked to a halt by the strong grip on his arm. Morinaga had rushed forwards to stop him, his tone determined. "Sempai, I've been trying very hard not to give you extra pressure these past few days but I can't stand it any longer! If you push yourself any further, you are going to collapse! Stay home for today, please!"

"Let go, baka! I have to get to school by seven- thirty or else the samples would be ruined! Do you want our efforts of the past few days to go down the drain?" Souichi tried to shrug loose of Morinaga's hold but to no avail. "Bastard, let go, now!"

"No! I won't back down on this, Sempai. More than some—some stupid experiments, I want you and the baby to be safe and healthy! Don't you understand, Sempai?"

"Stupid?" Souichi looked at Morinaga incredulously. "You called a ten million- yen experiment stupid? Do you know what you are talking about!" Souichi finally snapped, his patience at an end.

"Sempai…you…you are always thinking only of school, school and more school! What about yourself, what about your health? What about our baby! You can be so…so selfish sometimes, Sempai…!"

Without thinking, Souichi swung his fist, his knuckles striking against Morinaga's temple. Breathing heavily, he wrenched his arm free as the other man staggered backwards. "How dare you say that to me!"

Morinaga was holding his head, his eyes filled with—what seemed to Souichi—accusation and blame. So it was now his fault that everything was going to hell? And he had thought that Morinaga had understood! All the frustrations and stress of the past few weeks bubbled up in him, spewing forth in scalding words. "What have I been doing? What do you think I've been doing? If not for our future, why the fuck would I be slogging my guts out every day!"

Souichi stalked towards the front door and yanked it open. Turning back one last time, his tone sharpened by his hurt and fury. "I'm pregnant, not terminally ill! Stop—stop using the baby as an excuse for your desire to monopolise me! I hate it!"

The door slammed with a ferocity that shook the foundations of the house.


For the umpteenth time that day, Souichi found himself recalling the morning's fight with Morinaga. Try as he might, Morinaga's stricken face as he cradled his head was all he could see in front of his eyes now. The words he had thrown out so thoughtlessly swirled bitterly in his mouth. Swiping the logbook aside, Souichi sank down on a stool, suddenly feeling very tired.

"Beeeeep!" The stopwatch on the bench rang jarringly, jolting Souichi out of his reverie. Disoriented, it was a while before he realized that the samples were ready. Hurriedly, Souichi removed the tubes from the water bath, placing them into a rack on the cluttered table.

One, two, three…There were still six more samples to go. With a sigh, Souichi thought of throwing them to Yamaha. The bastard had finally returned to school today but had resolutely ignored everybody. If Souichi had entertained thoughts that Yamaha had finally started to mellow, he was sorely proven wrong. What Souichi could sense from the boy now was outright antagonism. Once or twice, he had raised his head only to find Yamaha glaring at him with something akin to hatred.

One Morinaga was enough. Souichi didn't think he was up to handling Yamaha too. Setting to work on the remaining samples, Souichi forced himself to focus but it was useless. There was a crushing weight of guilt in his chest, and it only became heavier as time passed. "Shit…!"

He had flared up at Morinaga unfairly. The problem with Yamaha, the delay with the experiments, his cold and all the discomforts that came with pregnancy had all coalesced into a mass of frustration and anger that had detonated without reason at the innocent younger man.

Morinaga had been concerned about him but he had thrown that back in his face. Souichi knew that he had been pulling too many long hours and had indeed fallen sick because of it. It was only sheer stubbornness that had kept him going for the past few days. But mostly, the reason why Souichi had survived so far was because Morinaga had been there.

You can be so…so selfish sometimes, Sempai…! Morinaga's words dug deep; bloody hell—Souichi still felt pissed at the memory. But they forced him to think back on his actions for the past few weeks. Souichi had squeezed three months of lab work into one, starting labs as early as seven am and ending as late as eleven pm. Data analysis and lab preparation had meant burning the midnight oil even after he had reached home. If not for Morinaga, Souichi could well have forgone basic activities, such as eating on time and sleeping.

The full impact of Morinaga's words hit him then. He pressed a palm against his belly and gazed at the soft rise peeking behind his lab coat. Waves of remorse washed through him. His way of living was a huge spectrum away from the optimal lifestyle for himself or the baby. No matter how valid the reason for his hard work, Souichi had to spare a thought for the little life depending on him.

He had to learn how to strike a balance between work and health. Gone were the days when he could carry out multiple twelve-hour lab shifts and focus only on his research and studies. Now, he was Morinaga's partner and the father of their baby. Every action of his would no longer impact him alone but also affect them. He had a family that he should prioritize before everything else, even work.

Souichi shot up and hastened to pack away the apparatus and reagents from the table. If he intended to change, he had to start immediately and resolutely. In less than fifteen minutes, the samples were safely stored away into the freezer, the bench was pristine and Souichi was ready to call it a night.

The sound of running water at the back of the lab caused him to look towards the direction of the fumehoods. Oh crap, he had totally forgotten about Yamaha. The man had also stayed back tonight to rush out the raw extraction for the last few samples. Souichi made his way to the Japanese- American. Seeing as the experiment had already been extended, there was no point in exhausting him.

"Yamaha, thanks for staying back. If you are not done with the samples, just continue tomorrow. Take a rest tonight."

The blonde did not acknowledge his presence and continued rinsing the beakers in the sink. However, Yamaha's ramrod posture was enough to tell Souichi that the man was just blatantly ignoring him. "Yamaha! I said you could go home now! Clear any unwanted apparatus and lock up the lab before you leave. I'm going off first." Souichi did not bother to wait for a response and was about to leave when he heard muttering from behind.

"…Fuck you…It's all your fault…"

"What? What are you talking about?"

Yamaha whirled around, anger and accusation twisting his mixed features. "It's all your goddamn fault!"

Startled at the viciousness of his tone, Souichi frowned in incomprehension. "Why are you so angry? If you are talking about the experiment then—"

"My grandma's dead and I didn't manage to talk to her a last time! And it's your entire fault for making me stay back that night! I told you that it was an emergency call that time but you didn't listen! Fuck you, fuck your authority!"

Yamaha's arms shot out and shoved Souichi backwards, hard. His head snapped back and hit the control panel of the fumehood. Scrambling for purchase, Souichi gripped the ledge of the chamber to prevent from falling. The sharp fear for his baby's safety compounded his anger.

"What the fuck, Yamaha? What the hell are you talking about!"

Yamaha jerked off the stream of water from the tap. "I'm talking about the day when you ripped me off about this very fumehood! I was away taking a phone call from my father at that time because of my grandmother's sudden fall. But did you hear me out? No! All you did was yell at me, again! And then she died that very night while I was in this lab, doing some fucking experiment on some stupid plants!"

Souichi was taken aback at Yamaha's outburst. He must have had been busy with the funeral preparations for his grandmother for the past few days. Sympathy began to well up in him. "…Shit…I'm sorry, Yamaha, if you had told me about it, I would have understood and let you leave…!"

The man before him merely laughed bitterly. "Would you? Aren't you already biased against me? You have humiliated me time and time again, always scolding and shouting at me in front of the others! When I do something, you nitpick at my every action! I'm not an imbecile, goddamn you!"

Neither of the men heard the hiss of gas from the hydrogen gas tube in the fumehood, nor saw that the alarm system was no longer switched on. In the corner of the chamber, an open beaker of flammable methanol sat beside the distillatory equipment.

Souichi pushed away from the fumehood, his expression clouded with anger. "If you committed an error, I will correct you! It's my responsibility as a supervisor and your responsibility as a student to learn instead of bitching about others! If you had paid more attention to work and less on your ego then you would have realized that long ago! You may not be experienced yet but I sure as hell did not say that you were incompetent!"

"I heard the other PhD students! They think I don't notice their whispering but I know that they just don't like me, like you! Because of bastards like you all, my grandma, who brought me up from a baby, died without seeing me for a last time! How the hell are you going to make it up to me!" Yamaha swept wildly at the glassware by the sink, the splintering shatter of the equipment piercing through the night air.

Souichi slapped the man across his face, the smack loud enough to echo. "What the fuck do you think you are doing? School is not where you throw your tantrums as and when you please! What would your grandma think, seeing you act so willfully!"

The younger man staggered backwards, hitting the fumehood. Cradling the cheek that was rapidly turning red, Yamaha snarled, "Y-you slapped me! Fucking hell!" He made to tackle Souichi, hands curled into fists as he surged towards him.

The rumbling was the only warning they got a split second before Souichi realized what was going to happen. "Get down, Yamaha-!" Without thinking, he cuffed his arms around Yamaha's neck and brought him down in front of him. The two of them fell forwards as a deafening roar resonated from behind.

"Sempai!"

For a wild moment, Souichi thought he was hearing voices. He felt a pair of strong arms cushion his fall; a warm chest curve around his back. Morinaga? What was Morinaga doing here?! However, the questions were thrown from his mind when the air around him suddenly rippled visibly. For a frozen second, everything went still and silent.

Then his world exploded.


To be continued.