A/N: Hello there, it's been a while since I've updated this story so I'm hoping the fact that this chapter is a long one makes up for that. I do keep trying to shorten the chapters so I can update more quickly but it never seems to work like that. Maybe I'll try harder next time. I also hope the multiple filps of the PoV are ok and don't make it too choppy.
Thanks again for all the reviews and alerts which are so brilliant to get. As I've said this is going to be a bit more fluffy than some of my other stories but there will still be some drama in it. So this chapter isn't all plain sailing for our girls.
People might think it's a bit soon for Naomi to open up to Emily but I hope it comes across as I intended - that she realises unless she does something pretty big Emily (not to mention Katie) won't be able to forgive her.
As ever it'd be great to hear what you think.
Naomi PoV
I glanced anxiously at my phone, no new messages, no missed calls. I wasn't sure if I was relieved or disappointed that Emily had finally stopped trying to contact me. The first message came on Friday evening, it was simple and direct.
Naomi, what happened earlier? Please talk to me. Emily
I'd shown it to Effy and asked what I should do. To my surprise Effy had advised me to do nothing, the shock must have registered on my face because she smiled knowingly at me before explaining further. Even from the relatively short talk we'd had about Emily she could see that this had potential so it was important not to screw things up. I'd already suffered a setback when I ran off after kissing the redhead so I needed to carefully plan what I was going to say to her and it had to be in person. A quick text message from a wasted twat was not the way forward. I'd reluctantly agreed that we'd talk about it in the morning and switched off my phone.
In the end I'd stayed at Effy's all weekend and hadn't bothered to turn it on until yesterday evening. I felt a pang of guilt as I realised there were more text messages and a few missed calls. I quickly scanned through them and could feel the increasing anger in each one. I received the final text last night and it hurt me the most, it wasn't angry or pleading, it was resigned.
Fine, you've got your wish, I give up. I just have to accept that I'll never know why you ran out on me. I can't believe I misread the situation so badly. Bye.
After I read that it felt like I'd been punched in the stomach and believe me I was cursing Effy loudly. On one level she was right, I couldn't just rush in and run the risk of saying something stupid. But I also knew I should have at least acknowledged the redhead's texts, even if it was only to ask her to wait until Monday for us to talk about it. There was no way Emily would give me another chance, in fact from the sounds of that text I doubt she'll even speak to me.
I'd immediately phoned Effy and started swearing and ranting at her. When I'd calmed down her annoyingly smug voice came back telling me everything would be ok as long as I stuck to the plan. It was a crap plan in my opinion and might end up being totally embarrassing but I'd had to concede I knew very little about what made Emily tick - that was why we were going out on a date in the first place. Effy got increasingly pissed off when 'I don't know' became the standard response to her questions about the redhead, but what else could I say? I didn't even know her surname for Christ's sake, how was I supposed to know what her interests were? The only thing I could answer with any degree of certainty was that she owned a sandwich shop. Effy had moaned that it wasn't much to go on but it was better than nothing. Looking at the wrapped package currently resting on my desk I wasn't so sure.
I was brought out of my musings by Mandy hollering for me across the office.
"Naomi, where the fuck are you?" She screamed at the top of her voice.
I really didn't know how she got away with it most of the time but one of my long suffering colleagues filled me in. Allegedly, the office manager (engaged to a man, are we starting to notice a pattern here folks?) was a regular shag of hers and that made her more tolerant of Mandy's behaviour. He had bitterly added the fact she was shit hot at her job so was almost indispensable was also quite a big factor, something that seemed to piss off quite a few people, myself included. I rushed into her office.
"I'm here, I've been working at my desk all morning." I said breathlessly.
She sneered at me, "Hmmm, you might have been sitting at your desk but I couldn't see much evidence of any work getting done. Every time I looked over you were staring into space with a vacant expression on your face."
So she'd been watching me then, perv. Obviously I couldn't say that so I shrugged and simply replied, "I've got a lot on my mind."
Mandy raised her eyebrow, "Yeah, well unless the thing on your mind involves you and me getting naked sometime soon, that's not what I pay you for."
Ew, vomitworthy mental image alert. Think of something else, anything Naomi to get that picture out of your head. Think of Cook in bed on Friday and Saturday night, that'll do it. And before anyone judges I don't mean it like that, there was no funny business or anything. The man may be my best friend but he's vile; he lies there burping, farting and scratching the whole time, even in his sleep. It really comes to something when Cook's bad habits are preferable to the image that flashed into my brain but it had worked and I finally exhaled. I looked up to find Mandy smirking at me.
"You seem a bit flushed Naomi, like I keep telling you just say the word and you'll be more than welcome in my bed anytime." She said as she slowly licked her lips.
Cook farting, Cook farting, Cook farting I repeated over and over before I responded.
"Sorry Mandy, incredibly flattering but no mixing of business and pleasure remember?"
My boss gave a resigned sigh, "Ah well, can't blame me for trying. Anyway, enough small talk that's not what I wanted to see you about. Have you finished those tasks I left for you this morning?"
I nodded, in spite of my wandering mind it had been easy to complete the list.
"Good, then you can take the rest of the day off. Selina and I are going to do some research for her upcoming nuptials so I won't need you." Mandy said in a salacious tone.
I bloody bet you are, Selina was the aforementioned office manager and I'd heard all about their 'research trips' which basically consisted of checking out local hotels that might be potential wedding venues. Funnily enough this always took place in the afternoon and neither of them bothered coming back to the office afterwards. I couldn't believe my luck.
"Great, thanks Mandy. Enjoy your 'research' afternoon." I said with a grin.
She winked at me, "Oh I fully intend to Naomi. See you tomorrow."
I made my way quickly back to my desk and packed up my things. Just as I was switching off my computer my phone rang. I glanced down, it was Effy.
"Hey Eff, I can't stay on too long as I'm just about to go and see Emily. Well try to see her at any rate." I said as I answered the call.
"Wasn't going to keep you on long, just wanted to double check you had the present." came the bored reply.
"Yep, it's on my desk and things have worked out brilliantly because Mandy has given me the afternoon off. So either it'll be ok with Emily and I can spend some time with her or if it goes tits up I can spend the afternoon drowning my sorrows at Uncle Keith's."
"Cool, well good luck hun and let me know how it goes ok?" Effy drawled languidly.
"Cheers, I'll call you later."
I knew most of Effy's apparent boredom was an act she'd spent years perfecting, I could tell by the stream of questions she'd asked me on Saturday morning that she was intrigued by the redhead who had finally made me admit I might like girls. I picked up the gift and grabbed my bag before making my way to the lift lobby. I checked my appearance in the mirrored doors and heard my phone beep. It was a message from Cook.
Go get your girl!
I smiled to myself because that's exactly what I intended to do.
Katie PoV
I heard the bell and quickly looked to see who had come into the shop. Good it wasn't her. I'd offered to help out today pretending I was making up for last Friday but I knew Emily was well aware of the real reason I was here. Don't ask me why but I had a funny feeling that blonde bitch would call in and I was here to punch the fuck out of her if she so much as tried to talk to my sister.
You've heard of the phrase chalk and cheese right? I've never really understood why those two things were used, there's plenty of other things that are really different to each other like, er... anyway it doesn't matter. The phrase could have been invented for me and Emily, apart from the obvious physical similarities we were the most non-identical, identical twins I'd ever come across.
Of course when we were little our parents dressed us the same and we did all the same things but even from an early age it was easy to tell us apart just from our behaviour. Even when we learnt to talk my more pronounced lisp further separated us. I'm brash, pushy, bossy, a total utter bitch most of the time and if we're honest I'm a bit of a slut. I fucking love men, can't get enough of them. As far as I'm concerned I'm Katie fucking Fitch and I'm an animal in bed so why limit the number of people who can get pleasure from that? I know some people say that makes me a slag but I'm always careful and only go for men who are single (don't even get me started on what I did to one bloke when I found out the reason he always picked me up was that there was a wife and 2.4 kids at home.) Anyway that doesn't matter, the point is that ever since I gave someone called Tim a blow job behind the bike sheds when I was 14 I've been well into cock.
Emily is the exact opposite, she's quiet, thoughtful, clever, a little bit shy, one of the kindest people I know and she's as gay as a window. Honestly, she's the type of person who will spend half an hour chasing a fly out of the house rather than roll up a newspaper and splat the stupid thing. In short my sister, much as I love her, is soft as shite and a total pushover. That's why I've always had to protect her, she's far too trusting and people take advantage. Now don't get me wrong, I'm including myself in that group. Christ I used to manipulate her big time, especially when we were teenagers. I wasn't very nice to her when she came out either mainly because I was scared she'd replace me with one of her girlfriends. But we got over that when I finally grew up and realised we'd always have this incredibly strong bond that no one else would ever be able to share. Ha she's mine, in your face lezza bitches. Maybe I should have added possessive to my list.
Emily has this massive heart and she can't help wearing it on her sleeve. She develops these crushes on people really easily and then she starts to obsess over them. Most of the time they don't amount to anything as Em holds back, but it doesn't mean she hasn't invested her feelings into them and she still gets disappointed or hurt when it doesn't work out. God, I'm making her sound like a sad bitch or a psycho, she's not, well not most of the time. When we were in our teens, you know before... actually that's not really my story to tell. Put it this way, when we were younger she had lots of girlfriends, she was like a serial monogamist or whatever the fuck they're called. Anyway even though some of her relationships were pretty short you still knew it wasn't about shagging around for Em. She started them all with the hope they would develop into something more, she was just better than most people at realising when they weren't going anywhere and ending things.
But it was always worse when someone dumped her. Not everyone had her tact and they didn't always let Em down gently but even if they did it would still devastate her. She'd walk around like a love sick puppy for weeks, sometimes even months. There'd be tears and endless conversations about what was wrong with her. But eventually she'd shrug her shoulders and say it was their loss that they couldn't see how great she was. Having your heart broken would harden most people, ya know make them cynical, but not Ems. She remained a firm believer in happy ever after and believed that one day she'd meet 'the one' and ride off into the sunset. I took the piss out of her for it all the time but actually I was a bit envious of her optimism.
So yeah we're different but that doesn't mean I'm not fiercely protective of her and that means I'll fucking kill anyone who upsets her. That's why my blood was boiling at the thought of that blonde bitch (or TBB as she's to be known from now on) waltzing in here and hurting my sister again. Emily had tried to contact her all weekend, leaving countless text messages and voicemails. I tried to get Em to stop sending them, especially when she was almost pleading with the blonde to explain her actions, it made her look fucking pathetic and desperate. But even I got angry when I realised that she hadn't got a single reply. Not one fucking answer. I mean even if it was a mistake then tell her that and apologise for leading her on don't just let Emily fester all weekend and think it's something she's done wrong. So when TBB came into the shop, and I knew she would, looking like butter wouldn't melt and offering explanations or apologies I was ready for her. She was going to get a good kicking and then I would take great pleasure in throwing her out. No one messes with a Fitch and gets away with it.
I looked up as Emily came back behind the counter she gave me a weak smile. The door bell went and I saw her gaze hopefully at the entering customer before her face fell when she realised it wasn't TBB.
"She'll be in Em, but don't have that pathetic look on your face when she does ok? You're angry at her for treating you like a piece of shit not hoping she's come to sweep you off your feet." I ordered.
Emily sighed, "Look Katie, I know I should be mad but maybe there is an explanation and maybe I should give her the chance to tell me what it is."
I tutted, "For fuck's sake Em, you're going to be all 'oh Naomi, you're so misunderstood I forgive you' aren't you? The woman is a total bitch who needs to be taught a lesson."
"Hmm, well it takes one to know one I suppose," Emily replied.
I nodded at her, "You might think that's an insult but you're damn right, I am a bitch and that means I can spot one a mile off. Blondie is a grade A, 100% callous bitch, take it from me."
Emily stared at me before sighing, "I suppose it's looking like that. I can't believe I got it so wrong, I thought Naomi might be different but it's just me being my usual stupid self."
I put down the plate I was holding and walked over to my twin, "Hey, I want none of that ok? This isn't your fault and it's not you being stupid. I thought she liked you too Em, otherwise I'd never have pushed you into a date in the first place."
"I know. Ah well maybe next time eh? It's her loss." Emily forced a smile.
"That's my girl. Look Em, after all the shit life's thrown at you, you deserve to be happy alright? I'm sorry that it doesn't look like TBB is going to be part of that." I said gently.
I had my back to the door and couldn't see who walked in when the bell went again but I didn't need to. I could tell immediately from the look on Emily's face that TBB had entered the building. I placed a restraining arm on Emily.
"Let me deal with this?" I said quietly.
Emily nodded.
I turned around and sure enough she was standing there nervously shifting from foot to foot. She was holding a package of some kind and I stood incredulously as she looked over to Em and smiled shyly.
"Hi Emily, I need to talk to you. Have you got a minute?" She spoke quietly and unsurely.
I was going to enjoy this even more, the stuck up cow thought she could just waltz in here and flash her baby blues and Emily would swoon and give in. Alright to be fair if I wasn't here that's exactly what would have happened but I am here and I was going to make sure TBB knew all about it.
I walked around the counter and stood directly in front of her, giving her one of my most menacing stares. Yeah that's right bitch, cower.
"You've got 10 seconds to get out of my shop." I said sneering at her.
She looked past me to Emily, "Please Emily, I only need five minutes of your time. Just hear me out and then if you want me to go I will."
"5, 4..." I continued the countdown.
"Katie please, not while we have customers..." I heard Emily say behind me
"I don't care Em, she deserves it." I said coldly
I watched her eyes widen in surprise, "What do I deserve?"
"This" I smiled as my palm made a reassuring thwacking noise as it connected firmly with her cheek.
Emily PoV
I watched in horror as Katie slapped Naomi hard across the face.
"That's for treating her like she's nothing." Katie said with a sneer.
Naomi's hand flew to her cheek and she stood staring at Katie, "I did deserve that I suppose."
The fact that Naomi had agreed so readily seemed to throw Katie which allowed me to step in. I know Katie thinks she has to fight my battles for me but sometimes I get sick of it. In some ways it actually reinforces the image of helplessness people have of me. Emily Fitch, can't stick up for herself, needs her twin to do it for her. That might have been ok when we were kids but I'm an adult now and I can make my own decisions.
"Katie, I appreciate your concern but please don't do that again. Apart from anything else it's bad for business. If Naomi wants five minutes of my time then I'll speak to her. If she refuses to go after that then I'll give you free reign." My voice was calm, surprisingly calm given my churning stomach and thumping head.
Katie turned sharply and fixed her eyes on me. I could tell she was looking for a sign that I was going to back down. She sighed when it became apparent I was sticking to my guns.
She turned back to Naomi, "You've got five minutes and that's it. After that I'm going to chuck you out and then I'm going to beat the crap out of you."
I watched Naomi nod, "I understand."
"You'd better come through." I said coldly to Naomi as I motioned for her to follow me into the back where it was a bit more private.
Katie glared at her and reluctantly allowed her to pass. "I'm out here Em, if you need me."
I smiled at her, "Thanks, but I'm sure it'll be fine."
I led the blonde through the storage rooms and up the stairs to the office. Neither of us spoke or made eye contact. I felt the anger rising in me, maybe she can explain the running off on Friday but I find it hard to believe there's a good enough explanation for her totally ignoring me over the weekend. But the fact that she's here today means that she must feel something so why wouldn't she respond to my texts? As usual I chastised myself, I'm running away with things again and trying to second guess everything when what I should be doing is waiting to see what she has to say.
I motioned for her to take one of the sofas and I sat on the other. We sat like that for a while and the tension in the room was obvious. I glanced over at her a few times. Why the fuck wasn't she speaking? Eventually my patience wore out.
"Katie wasn't joking you know? She will be in here after five minutes and she will physically throw you out." I said tersely.
I noticed her flinch slightly and her hand involuntarily moved to her cheek. Finally she looked at me.
"It all seemed a lot simpler when I was going through it in my head. I would come in and apologise and you'd understand and then..." she trailed off.
I stared directly back at her, I tried to remove any emotion from my eyes but I was useless at things like that so I knew some of the hurt I was feeling would be displayed. The one thing I refused to do was speak. I mean why the fuck should I make this easy for her? We'd only known each other a few days so I didn't really have a right to feel upset but I hadn't been lying to Katie, for the first time in ages I felt a connection with someone and I thought Naomi felt it too.
She finally broke eye contact and cleared her throat. "I'm sorry."
"What for? Running away after we kissed? Ignoring my texts? Being here now?" I was surprised at the level of venom in my voice. It had obviously taken Naomi by surprise too as her head shot up sharply.
"Um, a bit of all three I suppose." She answered biting her lip.
Oh God, the whole sexy biting the lip thing was back. Be strong Emily, you're angry with the absolute hottie sitting in front of you. No, no, no, she's not hot, she's a total cow. Who's gorgeous. Hmm, a totally gorgeous cow.
I shrugged, "Fine, thanks for stopping by. I accept your apology. You know the way out."
I could see my response and the tone in which it had been given had totally thrown her because her eyes clouded with confusion. For a second I was drawn into the blue pools. Oh for God's sake don't fucking look into her eyes Emily, I scolded myself knowing that all my resolve would crumble if I stared at her much longer. She did seem genuinely sorry but this was hardly the apology of the century was it? I had no idea if she was sorry for kissing me, for running away or for coming back. I was still no nearer to understanding what the hell happened.
"Look Naomi, let's not bother wasting time. You've said sorry, I've accepted your apology. I was attracted to you and I thought the feeling was mutual but I obviously misread the whole situation. I get it, you're not gay and the flirting didn't mean anything." Oh way to go Emily, what happened to the calm and silent seething anger approach? Now she knows how hurt you're feeling.
My eyes briefly connected with hers and I noticed the fearful look she had straight after we kissed was back. I sighed, even if I was right and Naomi did feel some sort of attraction to me there was no way she was going to admit it.
She opened her mouth to say something but quickly changed her mind. I felt myself getting angry again.
"I... I... oh God, this is so hard for me." Naomi's voice wobbled as she spoke.
I paused, all I wanted to do was give her a hug and tell her I understood but then I remembered I was sick of people treating me like a doormat.
I wasn't going to be a pushover this time, "Oh and I suppose you think it's easy for me? We were flirting and then you kissed me. You kissed me, Naomi, not the other way round. Then you run away and ignore me all weekend. Finally you turn up to what? Apologise? Explain? Because you haven't done either of those things particularly well."
My voice was rising as I spoke and I could see the panic on the blonde's face.
"I didn't want to have sex with you." She blurted out, stopping me in my tracks.
I was gobsmacked, I don't recall doing anything to suggest I was some sort of sex maniac, well apart from the staring at her arse, I probably looked a bit of a letch when I did that, but hey it's a great arse. Hmmm. EMILY! Focus please, you didn't do anything to suggest you were trying to lure her into bed.
"I wasn't aware that was on the cards. What do you take me for? Jesus Naomi, generally I like to know someone's surname before I jump into bed with them."
She rose from the sofa and began pacing the room, "Oh bastard fucking bollocks wank. That's not what I meant. Christ every time I open my mouth I make it worse. I knew I should have written a pissing letter. I'm going to kill Effy and her stupid fucking plan."
I couldn't help a slight smile playing around my lips as the tourettes rant continued. I turned as I heard Katie burst through the door.
"Right that's it blondie, your time's up. Get out." Katie said folding her arms.
Naomi stared at me imploringly, "Please Emily, just give me a bit more time and I promise I'll explain."
Katie snorted, "Oh no, you've had your chance. Now fuck off before I put you in hospital."
The blonde looked beseechingly at me, oh God those fucking eyes were drawing me in again, pleading with me to give her a chance. I tried to muster up my anger but I knew it was pointless, the fact was I needed to know why she had run away and more importantly why she had come back. In spite of my apparent resolve and Katie's instructions, I still had hope that something might happen between me and Naomi.
I reached over and grabbed her hand, taking her totally by surprise.
"Come on, we're getting out of here." I said dragging her behind me.
Katie nearly exploded, "What the fuck Emily? I don't believe this. She had her chance and she blew it, don't give her more time to feed you a load of crap."
I sighed, "Katie, I really appreciate you looking out for me but I want to give Naomi a proper chance to explain. So we're going to get a drink and I'll call you if I need to."
Katie glared at me, "And I suppose I'm going to take care of the shop and everything else while you're gone?"
I raised an eyebrow, "That would be really helpful and would make up for Friday, which is what you said you wanted to do."
If looks could kill, I'm not sure whether it would have been me or Naomi who would have died first. I could see Katie hated the fact I'd used her own words to out argue her, especially as we both knew that wasn't the real reason she'd been helping out today.
"Fine I'll stay here, but I want it on record that I think you are being a total prick and I really don't like you at all." She said pointing at me and then Naomi.
I smiled, "Your objection is duly noted Katie and thank you."
I turned to Naomi, "Come on and maybe this time we might get a bit closer to the truth eh?"
Naomi nodded, "Thanks for giving me a second chance..."
"I'm not sure you should be thanking me yet, I fully intend to give you a hard time." I said with a stern look and was satisfied when Naomi gulped.
Naomi PoV
I couldn't believe it when Emily grabbed my hand and told Katie we were leaving. I really thought I'd blown it. I took a deep breath and followed her down the stairs. My mind was racing, up until now I'd been holding back but the only way I was going to get Emily to even start to forgive me was by being totally honest with her. I know I'd blamed Effy and her plan but in reality it was my execution of it. Effy had instructed me to come clean and lay myself bare, but when it came to the crunch I'd bottled it. I could see from Emily's reaction that she was confused and hurt by my behaviour and I didn't really blame her. I'd behaved like a total arsehole and must have come across as stupid or arrogant to think I could just turn up and say 'sorry', like that would make everything ok. Nope, I was going to have to do something I'd spent my whole life avoiding, I needed to explain what I was feeling to Emily. The thought absolutely petrified me.
We got outside and Emily turned to me, "Coffee or do you want something a bit stronger?"
I really wanted some alcohol, mainly for Dutch courage, but I didn't want to come across as some sort of lush who drank during the middle of the day.
"I don't mind, you choose." I replied firmly tossing the ball back into her court.
She stared at me for a minute before nodding towards a bar, "Don't know about you but I could murder a pint."
I nodded and glanced down to where she was still holding my hand. She obviously thought I was embarrassed because she mumbled an apology and tried to pull away. I quickly intertwined our fingers again.
"Come on, I'm buying." I said, setting off towards the bar.
Emily smiled, "Too right you are."
We entered the bar and looked around for a free table, it was surprisingly busy for a Monday lunchtime. It was the type of place I usually hated, all wooden floors, glass and full of tossers. You know the type of place where they gave you your change on a silver tray to make you feel compelled to leave a tip even when you've gone to the bar yourself. But the conversation we were about to have would probably be awkward in places so I was grateful the venue was pretty clinical. Eventually we found some seats and I left Emily while I went to the bar. I came back a few minutes later carrying two pints. I set them down on the table and sat down opposite her.
"Thanks, I don't normally like these places but it makes a change not to stick to the floor." Emily said while taking a sip of her lager.
I nodded, "Yeah, and the table doesn't have to come with a health warning because it isn't covered in disgusting crud."
We lapsed into silence, which wasn't exactly uncomfortable but was a bit strained to say the least. I knew I'd have to make the first move so I took a deep breath.
"Emily" She looked towards me expectantly.
"I really am sorry for being such a coward. I shouldn't have run away like that and I definitely shouldn't have ignored your texts over the weekend. In my defence, I totally freaked out after I kissed you and got totally trashed on Friday. My friend Effy thought it was better I waited until I was sober to speak to you but I can see how hurtful it must have been to be ignored." I paused to gauge her reaction, she was still looking at me but wasn't giving anything away.
"You probably want an explanation for my behaviour?" Nothing. Jesus she wasn't going to make this easy for me, but then again why should she?
I sipped my drink and exhaled loudly, to be honest I'm not really sure where to start. "You were wrong earlier."
She raised her eyebrow, she's clearly not impressed with my opening gambit, "When you said you'd misread the situation, you hadn't got it wrong at all. I was flirting with you and it was because I found you attractive, which was a bit unnerving."
The eyebrow remained raised, "Not because you're a girl, well a bit because of that. My friend Effy has been convinced I'm a lesbian for years but I've always insisted I'm not. I've always said I would admit I was gay if it was true but that it wasn't."
I got the strong sense my ramblings weren't helping when Emily folded her arms. Oh fuck that's not what I meant, is any of this going to go to plan?
"It's not that I'm homophobic or have a problem with being gay ok? It's just never how I thought of myself. I hate being labelled and I really hate being told what to do. I'm also really stubborn so trying to tell me I'm this way or that is like a red rag to a bull." I saw Emily start to relax.
I sipped my drink before continuing, "I'm not very good at forming relationships with people. I get on ok with my Mum but apart from her my only real friends are Effy and Cook. I've slept with quite a few blokes but it's never been anything serious, mostly one night stands. I'm not always proud of it, but it keeps things simple you know?"
Emily frowns at my words, oh great I've made things even worse, now she thinks I'm a total slut and an immature twat.
"I guess that makes me sound like a bit of a slapper..." I began.
"Naomi, I don't think that. I'm not judging you, it's just not how I operate. I like to get to know people before I sleep with them, I don't try to seduce them in my sandwich shop before forcing them to have sex when all they thought we were doing was meeting for lunch." Emily said sarcastically.
I blushed, "I'm sorry I blurted that out, it wasn't what I meant."
I watched as she sipped her drink again and turned back to look at me. Again the eyebrow was raised and I knew she was waiting for me to explain. I took a deep breath, we seemed to be getting on alright and were chatting easily but that could just mean that she was going to drink her pint, accept my apology again and walk away. I could feel the panic rising in me at the thought of her doing that and that feeling was far stronger than the fear or awkwardness I felt about opening up to her. It was very early days but I couldn't shake the feeling that this was probably make or break, whatever I chose to say now would almost certainly be the deciding factor on whether Emily would let me try to make things up to her.
"It's... well it's... complicated." I began falteringly.
Her expression hardened slightly. "Look you were the one who begged me for a second chance to explain...
"No, Emily please. I didn't mean it like that. I want, no I need, to tell you this. I'm just not very good at it and it might be a bit shit. I was just warning you." I quickly cut her off.
Once again the redhead relaxed, "Oh ok. Well take your time. I'm all ears."
I smiled gratefully at her and exhaled loudly, well Campbell here goes nothing.
Emily PoV
I took another sip of my drink and studied Naomi carefully. She looked incredibly nervous and I watched as she took two large gulps of beer before her eyes met mine again. She smiled at me unsurely and I nodded in what I hoped was an encouraging way.
"I mentioned my Mum but not my Dad earlier, well that's because I've never really met him. I have some vague memories from when I was really little and a few photos but for the most part all I can ever remember is it being the two of us." she paused.
I tried to keep my face neutral as I can see Naomi is clearly uncomfortable with this and it would be 10 times worse if she thought I pitied her in anyway. But I can't help feel sorry for her, I can't imagine life without my Dad around. To most people he's your typical Scouser, a bit of a cheeky chappie, a man's man who loves exercise and adores Liverpool FC. But he's also a real family man too, and he'd do anything to protect his kids or my Mum. I turn to him straight away when I'm upset or want advice, he was the first person I came out to and I don't know how I would have coped if he hadn't accepted that. I know that isn't typical of everyone's experience, you know having a supportive family but it was mine and for that I'll always be grateful. I turn my attention back to Naomi as she starts to speak again.
"Effy always thinks I push people away because I grew up without my Dad and my Mum was off protesting about something or other. I've learned to be independent because I don't want to rely on anyone or get too close." Naomi continued.
I smiled, "Your friend Effy sounds like she spends quite a lot of time analysing you."
She smiled back, "Yeah, she does it with everyone but apparently I'm her favourite subject. To be honest I like letting her do it, saves me the trouble. I just hate the fact she's always right and I never want to admit that to her."
"It's a bit like with me and Katie. She's five minutes older than me and has pretty much spent our whole lives reminding me of that fact. The annoying thing is sometimes I think she knows me better than I know myself. Oh sorry, we were supposed to be talking about you." I mumbled before turning red.
"Hey, it's fine, this is what a conversation is supposed to be like you know? Two people speaking to each other not one droning on about all her insecurities." Naomi responded teasingly.
I looked over and was greeted by the blue eyes sparkling at me, it seemed Naomi was finally starting to relax.
"So you were saying about pushing people away because of your Dad?" I questioned.
Naomi sighed, "Yeah, another time Effy has been spot on. I don't let people get close because I'm scared they'll hurt me or leave. If I keep things light and casual then there's no chance of that happening. To be fair it's something that has worked pretty well for me up until now."
I stare at her, I hope I know the answer to my next question but I don't want to count on anything before I know for sure. "So what's changed?"
Naomi sighed and looked away. It was then I realised I was holding my breath. She turned back with a serious determination in her eyes.
"I met you." She replied simply.
Even though it was the answer I was hoping for I was still shocked. I'm surprised after her reaction on Friday that she'd said it in the first place but I'm also taken aback by my own reaction to her admission. Apart from the relief that it wasn't me imagining things I'm excited, I mean genuinely thrilled that the gorgeous woman sitting opposite me has told me she likes me. Wait, hang on Emily, don't go jumping the gun, she didn't actually say she liked you, she just said 'I met you'. Maybe it doesn't mean what you think. I can feel my face fall as I looked back up to the confused eyes.
"I know it doesn't excuse my behaviour and maybe you can never forgive me for running away or ignoring you. But I had hoped for a slightly better reaction when I told you I liked you." She said unsurely.
I feel myself redden. HA, there you go doubting devil on my shoulder, she likes me. Oh my God, what do I do now? I should stay angry but let's face it that ship sailed ages ago. Naomi likes me, gorgeous, hot Naomi, likes me, shy and retiring Emily Fitch. Oh fuck what am I going to say? I imagined what Katie would do but scrapped that pretty quickly, playing it cool while leading Naomi off to the toilets to screw isn't going to help here. A cough brought me out of my inner dialogue.
"Sorry, I went off in a bit of a daydream there." I looked over at the blonde who gave me a half smile.
I sighed, all of this was great but I still didn't know why she'd run and until I did I couldn't really make up my mind if I should forgive her.
"Naomi, I really do appreciate you being so honest with me and of course it's flattering to be told someone finds you attractive." I continued quickly as I saw her shoulders sag, "But I still don't understand why you kissed me and then ran away, especially if what you've just told me is true and you like me."
She shrugged, "I was going to get to that bit. I supposed I wanted to know if I was wasting my time before I bore anymore of my soul. I guess I wanted to know if you liked me too?"
I smiled, "I thought I'd made that obvious?"
The blonde sighed, "Yeah, well I'm notoriously dense when it comes to these things. I went out with this guy for dinner once and it wasn't until we got our desserts it finally clicked we were on a date."
I laughed before I reached over the table and took her hand, "Ok, for the avoidance of doubt. Yes I like you Naomi, in fact you're the first person I've felt this attracted to in a long time."
She quickly glanced down at our intertwined hands and then back up to me, "Thank you. So I suppose I should continue?"
Naomi PoV
Emily smiled encouragingly at me and nodded. I glanced back at our hands and gently rubbed hers with the pad of my thumb. Her skin was so soft and smooth, like porcelain. Not that I really knew what that was like but you get the idea. I continued to gently stroke her hand as I looked up to speak. I was immediately drawn in to her soulful brown eyes which were totally focused on me. At that point I knew I was in serious trouble, I could totally get used to being looked at like that.
"Another one of Effy's great predictions about why I screwed guys and never had a relationship, apart from the 'my Daddy left me, don't hurt me' argument, was that I was gay but in denial. I always argued back that I wasn't in denial it was just that I wasn't gay. But deep down I always knew there was a shred of truth in what Effy said, you remember I always told you she's right?" I paused as Emily nodded at me.
I snorted as the redhead said jokingly, "Annoying bitch."
"How do you think I feel? You haven't even met her yet, I've had years of this." I stopped abruptly as the implications of my words sank in. I looked over to see if the redhead was uncomfortable with the thought of meeting my friends but Emily stared at me with her eyes twinkling.
"So anyway, apparently Effy, Cook and my Mum have known for years I liked girls and if I'm being honest I did a bit too but I didn't want to admit it." I said with an unsure look, I didn't want to make the same mistake as earlier and make Emily think I had a problem with it.
She had a puzzled look on her face as she asked, "So why was it such a big deal to admit it? I do remember being confused and scared but once I realised the reason I felt differently to other people like Katie was because I didn't like boys, I liked girls the relief was amazing. I was so happy when I accepted I didn't have to pretend anymore and it wasn't just me, other people felt like that too."
I paused wondering how I could explain this properly without sounding like a total prick. In the end I decided I might as well tell the truth, "It all happened by accident. My Mum had all these hippie friends who tried to say that because I didn't have a strong male role model I was bound to be damaged and turn into a lesbian. I didn't want to become a cliché; the abandoned girl who can't trust men so she turns to women."
Emily snorted, "So you became the closet lesbian who shags blokes to hide it cliché instead."
I looked at her in surprise but in the end I couldn't help laughing, "Well, when you put it like that it does sound stupid. But honestly Em, everyone assumed all these things about me from an early age and tried to label me. I really am incredibly stubborn so my natural reaction was to strongly deny it. By the time Effy had joined in with her posturing I was adamant, so it came as a bit of a shock to me one day when I started to fantasise about the girl next door after I saw her in a bikini in the back garden."
Emily squeezed my hand, "Oh you poor thing, I'm sorry you had to go through this alone."
I shrugged, "Except I didn't, go through it I mean. I pushed any of those thoughts firmly out of my mind and went about showing everyone how straight I was. I was angry that I'd almost been forced to come out in reverse, I suppose I wanted some time to consider things and work out what I was. That's why I freaked out after kissing you."
The redhead stared at me in confusion, "Why? Because you felt I'd forced you into a corner."
I shook my head violently, "Christ no, please don't think that. It was nothing you did per se. I was, well I was scared."
"Of what?" Emily replied, clearly still not understanding what I meant.
I took a deep breath, "Don't take this the wrong way but I was scared of how fast things were moving and I was scared of you."
I looked at Emily, willing her not to get offended at what I'd just said, she frowned slightly but I took the fact she didn't seem to be going anywhere as a positive sign I should continue.
"What I mean was I felt pressured again and I wanted things to take place for the right reasons. If we went out I wanted to make sure it was because we both wanted to get to know each other better and see what happened, not because your sister forced us to. I wanted to take things at our own pace and for us to decide if this could turn into something more than friendship."
I watched as Emily opened her mouth to say something but I stopped her, "I know, I know, that doesn't explain why I kissed you. That's the second half of why I was scared. I'd only known you a few days but already I was experiencing some pretty intense feelings, things I'd never really felt before. Things that I'd purposefully avoided feeling by shagging a succession of random blokes. You just blew me away, I kept thinking about you and I knew I was attracted to you. It scared the shit out of me and I tried to make it go away but this time I couldn't. So imagine my horror when you're stood in front of me looking totally adorable and all I could think about was kissing you. I felt out of control, like there wasn't anything I could do about it."
Emily frowned, "So if you knew it was your problem why did you run and why did you ignore me over the weekend. It made me think things were my fault, like I'd done something wrong."
"Like I said I was a coward, something else I'm not proud of. Emily, as soon as my lips connected with yours I knew I couldn't keep pretending. It was like years of denial caught up with me and it was completely overwhelming. I had just experienced the most amazing kiss, you know like they show it in the movies, the exploding fireworks, the marching bands, the weak knees and it was with a woman. Well not just a woman it was with you. So not only do I now have to admit I'm probably gay I also have to admit I might have met someone who makes me go weak at the knees, someone who might hurt me. I know I didn't handle it well but I did what I always do, I ran away and put my fingers in my ears all weekend shouting la, la, la at the top of my voice."
I watched as a smile appeared on Emily's face, "You think I'm adorable?"
I looked directly in her eyes, "I think you're beautiful."
She blushed and snorted, "I'm not."
I could see she was really struggling to accept the compliment and I could also tell it wasn't because she was doing that fake shyness thing so I'd compliment her again. Emily genuinely didn't believe me.
"Emily," she looked up shyly, "I mean it. You are breathtaking, it's one of the reasons I wanted to kiss you so much. I really like you so please let me start to make it up to you by coming on a proper date with me. Let me take you to dinner one night this week."
I could see her staring thoughtfully at me, please give me a second chance I silently pleaded while I waited patiently for her answer.
Emily PoV
I saw the pleading look in Naomi's eye and it nearly made me give in there and then. That was until I thought back to my weekend and how upset I'd been. As difficult as it was I had to ignore my attraction to the blonde and think logically about what was going to be the best decision for everyone.
I blinked a few times. "So how do I know you won't do it again? I thought we were getting on and alright I accept things were moving a bit quickly but I think we've agreed that was because there was a connection, something that's rare for both of us. I've listened to your words Naomi, and I want to believe you, but how do I know we won't go out to dinner and then I'll really start to like you and then you'll turn around and change your mind again and I'll get my heart broken."
I watched as a strange expression crossed Naomi's face. Oh fuck, why didn't I just take a deep breath and pause before I went off on one? This is exactly what Katie was always telling me off about. Only this time it wasn't in my head or in a discussion with my twin sister it was in front of someone I wanted to like me. She was going to think I was a bunny boiler.
"Look I'm sorry, I didn't mean to rant like that. I have a tendency to over analyse things, I just usually keep it to myself. The point I was trying to make is why should I trust you?" I clarified hoping I'd at least saved a shred of dignity.
I could see the blonde was struggling and was contemplating several answers to my question.
"I'm not saying you need to trust me completely now, that would be asking far too much, especially after the way I've behaved. All I'm asking is for you to trust me enough to let me take you to dinner and maybe give me the chance to win your trust over time?" Naomi answered.
Suddenly I was overwhelmed by the intensity of the whole situation. What had started out as a casual lunch date now seemed to be taking on increasing importance and morphing into something massive. Why couldn't we just agree to dinner and see how things developed. Inwardly I laughed bitterly at the thought of me, Emily Fitch, ever going with the flow. I was a planner and although some of that came about due to necessity most of it was because that's just who I was. I looked up to find Naomi gazing hopefully at me. My initial thought was how could anyone refuse those eyes, but I pulled myself together enough to realise I had to make this decision based on my head, not my heart and definitely not on the wave of dirty thoughts had just crossed my mind.
I cleared my throat, "I'll think about it."
I watched Naomi's smile fade, she wasn't expecting that, but to be honest neither was I. Then I realised I meant it and knew what I had to say to her.
"Please Naomi, give me a bit of time. This is a lot to take in and I'm not saying no or playing deliberately hard to get. I just need to take a break and see how I feel when you're not sitting in front of me looking gorgeous." I hoped she'd understand.
She gave me a half smile, "I know you're not playing games, and I recognize you might not be able to give me an answer straight away. Take your time, you know maybe speak to Katie and get back to me. I'll give you my number again as you've probably deleted it."
She sounded genuinely disappointed but I resolved to stay strong, I really did need some time to process all of this and decide if I was prepared to take a chance.
"I've got it. I won't keep you hanging around Naomi, even if my answer is no." I said gently.
She nodded and rose from the table, "Thanks, I appreciate that. So, I guess I'll hear from you when you've thought about it."
She walked over to the door and she turned around with a crestfallen look on her face. She gave me a half smile and a brief wave before she pushed the door open and exited the bar. I watched her walk to the nearest wall where she thought she wasn't in view and lean against it pinching the bridge of her nose. The afternoon light was fading and she looked rather beautiful standing there. I smiled to myself when I remembered her telling me I was breathtaking which is why she wanted to kiss me. Then I thought back to the kiss, she'd been right it was one of those orchestra moments, you know where everything seems to fade away and just leave the two of you. They don't happen very often so it's nice when they do. Yeah right Emily, I scolded myself, like it's ever happened like that before.
"Oh who the fuck am I trying to kid?" I muttered loudly as I reached into my bag.
I found what I was looking for and turned my attention back to Naomi.
"Hello Naomi speaking." She said as she answered her phone without looking.
"Hey, it's me. You shouldn't squint like that it'll leave lines." I said trying not to sound nervous.
I watched her glance around before her gaze settled on me.
"I didn't think I could be seen from the bar."
"I gathered that, don't tell me I phoned too soon and you were about to do something outrageous." I said with a smile.
"I think I've pretty much covered making a total tit of myself today." she replied with a sigh.
That was my perfect in, "I've thought about your offer."
"Yeah?" I could tell she was trying not to appear too hopeful.
"How does Thursday suit you?" Nice Emily, not too desperate but still this week, Katie would be proud. If she could ever find it in her cold bitter heart to forgive Naomi, oh I'll deal with that later.
The blonde exhaled slowly, "Thursday's great. Give me your address and I'll pick you up at seven, if that's ok?"
"Seven is fine but you can pick me up from the shop." I answered.
I saw her nod in agreement, "Ok, I'll bring a change of clothes with me. What's your favourite food?"
"Italian's my absolute favourite, but I pretty much eat anything." I responded.
"Italian it is then, I know just the place. I'll see you Thursday, if I don't see you before then." She said with a smile.
"Naomi, I'll have the same again..." I began.
She gazed over towards me before hanging up her phone and making her way back to the bar. After a few minutes she sat back down with two lagers.
I took a sip of my drink and smiled at her, "Thanks."
She shrugged but also couldn't hide the grin from her face, "I would have offered earlier, but I was too busy getting blown out."
"Hey I said I'd think about it, I didn't say no." I protested
My stomach flipped as she smiled at me, "I should have known you wouldn't been able to resist me."
The cheeky cow, she needed to be taken down a peg or two.
"I think you'll find I'm perfectly capable of resisting you and it's the other way round." I responded.
Naomi continued to smirk at me, "Is that so? So how come you caved in so easily and asked me to come back to the bar?"
I've been out of the game a while so this was the perfect opportunity to see if I still had the famous Fitch charm. I rested my chin on my hand and stared at her intently. I tried not to look too satisfied as Naomi grew uncomfortable under my scrutiny and started to go red.
"Well aren't you going to answer me?" Naomi demanded.
I continued to stare at her only now I opened my mouth slightly and licked my lips. Naomi's breathing became more laboured and I saw her swallow nervously a few times. I beckoned her towards me slowly with my index finger. She moved closer and I made sure we were nearly touching when I whispered my answer.
"Considering your behaviour, you didn't really think I'd let you get away with only buying me one pint as an an apology did you?"
I leaned back and laughed when this caused Naomi to spill some of her drink.
She glared at me, "Very funny, but I believe I mentioned I don't like being teased."
I smiled before I deliberately winked at her, "We'll just have to wait and see about that."
Yep, still got it, I thought with a self satisfied smile as the blonde turned an even deeper shade of crimson and spluttered into her drink.
A/N 2: So what happened to the mysterious parcel I hear you cry (possibly)? Don't worry it wasn't a mistake, it will appear in the next chapter but the fact that Naomi had to win over Emily on her own because Effy's plan was going wrong was deliberate.
