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Spinning Ends

Chaper 4: The Lamest Excuse in the Book

Tonks arrived at the restaurant with ten minutes to spare. She was the first one there, so she sat awkwardly at the table, wondering what she had gotten herself into. She wasn't sure what had compelled her to do this, but she had made herself look presentable. Okay, so her hair was blue, but it went well with her dress. Further, she was wearing heals—the device that had to be some kind evil invention, a torture device, if you will.

Remus arrived not too long after her, dressed in his usual bookish manner, just a little more polished. "I can't believe what you got me into," he said before taking his seat.

"What I got you into? This is your fault. Just because you're scared of Molly…" said Tonks.

"Well, if it is a disastrous evening you can always play the "work emergency" card," said Remus.

"I suppose you could too…just tell Alice that there was a disaster in the library—desecrated books everywhere, no page left un-dog-eared ," teased Tonks ( she teased Remus a lot about becoming a librarian).

"Remember, I am a werewolf. That is an excuse for anything," said Remus, cracking the rare joke about his condition.

"'Sorry, I need to go howl and bury a few bones,'" joked Tonks in return. She was one of the few people Remus would joke with in this manner, partially because she would joke about it right back, instead of becoming awkward and trying not to say anything offensive.

"You look nice by the way," said Remus, pink slightly tingeing his cheeks.

"Thanks, you don't look too shabby yourself," said Tonks with a grin. "Now let's just hope we can say the same of our dates."

"Speaking of," said Remus, gesturing to a man who was approaching their table. Tonks turned. Indeed, Stu was a very good looking wizard. Very good looking. Tonks stood up, as did Remus. Remus introduced himself, shaking Stu's hand. Then Stu turned to Tonks.

"Hello, you must be Nymphadora," said Stu suavely, kissing the hand that Tonks had held out for him to shake. Tonks eyed him warily. She saw Remus snicker out of the corner of her eye.

"Actually, I just go by Tonks."

"I see," said Stu, who seemed to consider Tonks for a moment—including the blue hair—and took his seat.

"So, what do you do Stu?" asked Remus politely.

"I work at the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts department at the Ministry. I run statistical analyses on the data collected…" Tonks zoned out at that point. She looked like she was paying attention, but really she couldn't care less about how often Muggle appliances were misused. Unfortunately, Stu seemed to find this subject fascinating as he talked for fifteen minutes about it. Alice it seemed was running late, which annoyed Tonks because she greatly wanted an excuse to get Stu to stop talking.

When he finally finished and Tonks could get a word in, she asked, "So you work with Arthur Weasley?"

"Yes. It was an departmental lunch than brought me here tonight, via Mrs. Weasley, of course. Though I have known the Weasleys for sometime time before that. I worked on a profile and proposal for passing a legislation for regulation of cauldron thickness with Percy Weasley some years ago. It was a fascinating profile. You see, until 1561 the average thickness of a cauldron bottom—"

"Oh look! That must be Alice!" interrupted Tonks loudly and enthusiastically. She could not bear to hear any more about statistics or cauldron bottoms. Even Remus looked nauseous at the thought and looked very relieved when a young woman approached their table.

"Sorry that I am late," said Alice, as Remus pulled her chair out for her and introductions were made. "I just could leave the house the way I was. Long day at work, you know."

"Where do you work?" asked Tonks eagerly, not wanting to give Stu any opportunity. Alice eyed Tonks (and her blue hair) for a few seconds before she answered.

"I work at the Center for Divination Arts," she said, tossing her hair.

"Really?" asked Remus, seeming at least mildly interested—not just for Alice's sake. "Which division?"

"The practical division, of course. All the rest are frankly nonsense. I am one of their top divinators," Alice stated proudly.

Tonks could tell by the slight shift in Remus's demeanor that he was a bit disappointed. He loved research and had always been wary of those who claimed the knowledge of the future. But, he smiled politely and continued to ask questions.

They ordered food and drinks. Conversation was painful—from at least Tonks' perspective. Tonks kept trying to divert the conversation to Alice, who at least seemed interesting.

"So, Alice. What kind of divination do you usually do? I know the Center for Divination Arts sometimes sends the Auror department divinators to help with cases."

"I occasionally do such work. More often though, I work on with individuals or cosmic levels. I read auras, tea leaves, crystal balls—the usual."

"Prophecy?" asked Remus, curiously.

"At times, when it comes to me," said Alice mysteriously. Then, seconds later she froze and turned to Remus. "My dear, Remus, your aura. It feels dark. I can't be sure, but I suspect a Grim!"

Stu shuttered and Tonks rolled her eyes.

"Yes, yes!" she said loudly, her eyes going wide. "I see it! Hair and howling at the moon—yellow eyes, sharp teeth." Alice raise her hands as if she were trying to feel invisible ghosts.

Tonks snickered without meaning to. She didn't doubt that Alice had divination skills, but she was overly dramatic about it. Also, she was undoubtedly sensing that Remus was a werewolf. But, she did not have enough sense to interpret it correctly.

Alice looked at Remus solemnly—who looked rather uncomfortable. "It is alright," she said softly. "Just keep an eye out when it comes looking for you."

Drinks came then, and Tonks could tell that Remus was glad for the distraction. Tonks unfortunately found herself reengaged in unengaging conversation with Stu.

"It was about ten years ago that in Poland a cauldron mishap happened. I know! It was mess, the cauldron—which was a standard model 680 pewter with five centimeter thickness and a holding capacity—" Tonks spaced out. She started to stare at the wall hangings behind Stu, nodding occasionally so that he would think that she was paying attention.

Food finally came. Tonks dug in, using food as an excuse to avoid Stu. Minutes later however, she felt something tickling her ankles, and sliding up her leg. Tonks looked up from her plate to see Stu staring at her with a grin.

He was trying to play footsie with her! The nerve! Tonks glared and covertly cast a spell that moved Stu's feet to the vicinity of Remus. Tonks could tell that Stu hadn't noticed, but given the face the Remus made—a mixture between being dumb-striken, horrified and disgusted—she knew that he had definitely noticed. And given the wince that passed of Stu, Tonk knew that Remus had kicked him. Her work was done, thought Tonks with a smirk.

Between Alice and Stu, Tonks could not stand any more. Stu's voice felt like a grater to her brain and Tonks could tell that Remus was not fairing any better with Alice, who kept commenting on his "dark aura." When she got a chance, Tonks practically threw her wine glass at Remus, causing it to spill all over his lap.

"Oh, no!" said Tonks as Remus quickly stood up. "I am so sorry. Here—no you two stay right there. I will go get Remus cleaned up. Stu, you can tell me all about those water freezing kettles when we get back."

Tonks dragged Remus off to the bathroom. "Did you really have to go that far?" asked Remus, trying to clean himself off. "These are my nice trousers!"

"Stop whining! It had to be done and you are glad I did it," said Tonks sticking out her tongue childishly.

"Yes. Judging by your clenched teeth you were on the edge doing something violent. I did not want to have to clean up after you after you lost it."

"It wasn't going to be that messy. I merely was considering the best method of launching a breadstick up Stu's nose. You can't tell me that you were not considering doing the same to Alice."

Remus thought for a moment. "I suppose, but I would have been far more tactful than you would have been. Now, how do we get out of this? I do not really want to hear any more about how next full moon I will 'go through a change in lifestyle.' I would tell her about—you know— but I do not want to fuel her predictions."

"So how do we escape?" asked Tonks.

"We could just be straight forward about it," suggested Remus.

"What? Just leave in the middle of dinner and say 'thank you for your time, but you are deathly boring and make my head want to explode'?"

"You could be a little more tactful than that," said Remus.

"Nah, I do not precisely feel like being tactful with Stu. But, for your sake—and do not pretend that he wasn't playing footsie with you—I'll try not to offend Stu," said Tonks as Remus turned red and sputtered about the footsie comment. "I think I might have a plan," Tonks continued. "Just follow my lead."

Remus agreed reluctantly after cleaning himself off. He and Tonks walked back to the table.

"Stu, Alice, I must apologize profusely," said Tonks. "But Remus and I just received an emergency message. Er…our friend…Harry. He is having a mid-life crisis and…um…crashed his broom. Yes and we must go see him immediately."

Stu and Alice seemed to accept Tonks' rather lame excuse, though Alice looked at Tonks and Remus suspiciously. They all bid each other a good night and Tonks made sure to drag Remus out the door before Stu could say anything besides "it was nice to meet you." When outside they both bid each other a good night.

As Tonks apparated she heard Remus sarcastically say, "Good one, by the way." She wanted to retort, but she knew that would result in her splinching herself.

Tonks was glad to finally be home after such a catastrophic date. She kicked off her boots and threw herself onto her couch. She was not entirely sure what Stu had been thinking—well, besides thinking about thinned-bottomed cauldrons and the sort. She did know that he had not gotten her message at all and that she would have to be more straight forward if she ever crossed paths with him again.