Top 10 Reasons Gus is a Major Dork
10- He has a diary filled with lists and charts. Get a life, dude.
9- He leaves his diary out where anyone can find it and read it (Come on, Gus! No lock on your sock drawer? That's just asking for trouble!)
8- Apparently, he does nothing but complain about his best friend (who, by the way, totally rocks and has awesome hair!)
7- He actually has a specified place to keep cumin. Seriously, whosever heard of a spice rack? I think you made that up.
6- He has a secret girlfriend. Dude! When do I get to meet her? Jayna…sounds hot!
5- He doesn't want me to meet his secret girlfriend. What's up with that? What did I do Sarah Hanson? I was nice to Sarah Hanson! I even took her to the movies!...oh.
4- He accused me of having roaches. The roaches totally weren't from my apartment! Roaches hate empty pizza boxes!
3- He can't tell the difference between chocolate, molasses and Bisquick and the remains of the GREATEST DESERT EVER! I call it "Sweet Shawn Surprise". If Gus was nicer to me, maybe I would have shared.
2- He threatened to kill Mrs. Pickles. Dude, you can't kill an imaginary pet! PETA would so be after you! Not to mention cruelty to animals is one of the traits of a potential serial killer…also, not sharing the remote is another one.
1- After he reads this, he's going to try to find another hiding place for his diary, even though he knows it's a futile effort. I always beat you at hide-and-seek, Gus. Remember? You're a terrible hider!
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SHAWN! Stay out of my stuff! And it's a JOURNAL!
AND, if you write in it again, I'm going to kill you!
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Gus, Gus, Gus. Threats of homicide? Bestfriendicide? Not doing much to prove your mental stability.
And, please. The clothes hamper? Could you find a more obvious hiding place? Why not the kitchen table?
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SHAWN!
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What?
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STOP IT!
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Oh. Why didn't you say so?
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March 10
Top 5 Reasons to Take the Promotion:
5- It's in Hawaii. No one in Hawaii knows me. More to the point, no one in Hawaii knows my friends.
4- No more Psych and no more cases.
3- No more roommates.
2- It pays twice as much as I'm making now. I'd be able to retire in ten, maybe 15, years.
1- Did I mention it's in Hawaii? Far away? Far, far away?
Top 5 Reasons Not to Take the Promotion:
5-
4-
3- Jayna?
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