Disclaimer: I do not own Strange Angels
Thine Eyes Still Shined-Ralph Waldo Emerso
Thine eyes still shined for me, though far
I lonely roved the land or sea:
As I behold you evening star,
Which yet beholds not me.
This morn I climbed the misty hill
And roamed the pastures through;
How danced thy form before my path
Amidst the deep-eyed dew!
When the redbird spread his sable wing,
And showed his side of flame;
When the rosebud ripened to the rose,
In both I read thy name.
Oh my God... Oh my God... Oh my God! I felt the fire rise up on my cheeks quickly. Christophe must have seen me wearing that bra I was trying on when I came out to help Nat. It's not like he hasn't seen me that way before. Granted I was unconscious and barely alive, but he's never seen me just walking around in my underwear before, and especially not in something so…so, well, let's just say not your basic plain white cotton. But why was I so embarrassed about it, or was it that I was feeling flattered by the compliment? And wait, did he just call me kochana? He hasn't called me that in months. He must be in a good mood. He was smiling, which was a rarity for him. He's probably just amused that he was able to make me blush.
He was still leaning into me, and he still had his hand on my hip. Why was that? I looked down at it, and then back up at him. He must have noticed because he took his hand off and straightened his back. Wait, was he blushing now? He was. The always so composed Christophe was blushing. That stopped my cheeks from betraying me.
I looked over at Nat to see her eyes wide open in shock. I know she just heard what Christophe said because wolfen have super hearing. I grabbed her elbow and said "Come on Nat, let's go pay for these." We headed off to the registrar with the boys following us.
Nat leaned into my ear as we were walking and asked "So how much do you think they heard?"
I looked back behind my shoulder to see both boys grinning from ear to ear. Shanks even gave me a cocked eyebrow. I turned my head back to Nat and said "I think they heard everything, and I think they are still listening."
"Oh… well that's too bad. I guess I'm not going to be needing this anymore. " She held up the corset she had been trying on. I looked back at Shanks and he was not grinning anymore, but I was this time. She asked "Did Bobby hear that or do I need to make myself clearer?"
I nodded and said "Oh he heard alright."
Nat took off and headed back to the lingerie department. I heard Shanks calling after her saying "Baby please, I'm sorry. Please! I'm sorry!"
I couldn't help but laugh and so was Christophe. After I paid for my things, we met back up with Nat and Shanks outside the store where Shanks was still pleading his case. Christophe turned to me and said "I suppose we need to talk as well."
"Not now Chris, later." He looked disappointed, but I had an idea of what he wanted to talk to me about and I was just too embarrassed to talk about it. I mean what was I going to say to him? Yes I miss you, but I'm still totally confused of what I want from you. Instead, I tried to change the subject. "Christophe?"
"Yes milna?"
"Do you wanna come by my room tonight?" Oh no! That did not just come out right and from the expression on his face he knew it too. "I mean, you know, for the party."
But before he could answer, Nat called out to me "Hey Dru, Zeke just called and he said they were all coming." Great! I don't mind Zeke's friends coming, but Zeke himself was going to be a handful tonight. As if all my other aversions to his attempts of kissing me haven't been enough clues for him, I just knew he would attempt another kiss again at midnight. I supposed if worse came to worse I could just randomly select one of the other guys and give them a quick kiss, or if Christophe came. Nope, scratch that idea. Bad idea Dru, don't even think about kissing him.
As if he read my thoughts; Christophe, with his eyebrow quirked up, said "Well since it looks like a full house, one more won't make a difference. I'll be there. Plus something tells me you're not too keen on someone out of that group coming and you might need a good distraction." It's scary how well he knows me. I gave him a grateful, knowing smile as we made our way back down the streets of New York to the schola.
As we walked, I was beginning to feel more and more at ease with him again. We talked casually, as if we were old friends catching up on what we had missed out on. He commented on my choice of wardrobe these days and how it seemed as if I was fitting in more at the schola with all my new friends. I mentioned I had heard about his futile attempts of increasing training for everyone and I told about an idea for a tattoo I wanted. I had always wanted one, but nothing had ever seemed like the right one. I wanted something that was uniquely me, something symbolic to me. The idea that finally came to me was a fully bloomed flower, not sure which kind yet, centered in a pair of owl wings across my shoulder blades.
I didn't realize I was looking for his approval until he gave me a charming smile and said "I think you'll look great with it." He paused for a second, and then said "Might I suggest a flower?" I nodded. "Go with a dahlia. Some say its meaning is 'forever thine or eternity'. If I had a favorite flower to give you, it would be dahlias for I will always be forever yours."
I didn't know what to say. I was stunned. I lowered my head trying to think. How was I supposed to respond to such a confession? I felt his gaze on me so I forced myself to smile at him. That was all I could do, just smile. Then he took my hand in his and we walked the rest of the way back without saying another word.
Back at the schola, we parted ways at the door to my room. But before he left, he said "By the way, I'll make sure you have what you were really after for today. Just do me a favor and keep it between you, Nat, Robert, and Samuel. OK?" I nodded. And just as he was about to turn away he stopped, leaned into me and kissed me on the cheek.
I stood in the doorway for the longest time after he left, just staring out into space. Was this happening? Did I want it to happen? Then I heard Benjamin's throat clear "Milady, shouldn't you be getting ready for your party?"
Embarrassed, I slid into my room shutting the door behind me. I put my shopping bag down on vanity stool for later and then threw myself face first onto my bed. With my head buried into my pillow, I screamed. Every emotion I had ever had for Christophe came burrowing its way up my throat. I thought I was going to lose my mind. I was crying, laughing, screaming, and smiling all at the same time. I loved him, and all it took to wake me up from my denial was that simple little kiss on the cheek. Now what was I going to do about it is the million dollar question. How do I move on from this realization? I want to be with him. I know that now. But then, Graves. What was I supposed to do about him? And then it hit me, I'm not going to do a damn thing about him. After all, he left! He left and hasn't spoken a word to me since. So in my book, that chapter is closed and I get to move on to the next one.
Next chapter coming soon!
