I'm baaaack! Thank you for the reviews… I feel so loved! Cookies for everyone! :D

I do not own FMA. If I did, there already would have been a spinoff for Greed and Ling… those two crack me up ;)

Okay, first off is everyone's favorite whale-I mean Fuhrer, BabyBlueBeluga!

Dear Fuery (or Fury),
Was it weird for you to have Roy take your glasses off and put them on Riza? How was your eyesight?
Dear Riza,
With your eyesight impaired with Fuery's (Fury's) glasses, did you almost crash your car?
Dear Fullmetal and Al,
Did you have a brain meltdown (failure) when you saw Hawkeye with her hair down and glasses on?

Fuery: Um… it's actually not too bad, to tell you the truth. Things are just fuzzy if they're far away. I could wear contacts, but… I really don't like anything coming even close to touching my eyes. I actually heard that Dfire has that problem, too.

Me: …*shudder*

Fuery: I actually thought they looked good on Ms. Hawkeye, and it was a pretty ingenious idea to give her glasses. I wouldn't have thought of that.

Riza: Not really. They were a little hard to get used to, but I could still see almost everything.

Edward: I wouldn't say "meltdown." We just didn't recognize her at first, and we were a little surprised.

Alphonse: I have to hand it to the Colonel and Ms. Hawkeye; it was a good disguise. And she also looked very pretty! :)

Riza: Thank you, Alphonse.

All right! Now we have a new reviewer whose name reminds me of pop rocks for some reason, Kok0roxGuardian!

Dear Edward,
What would you do if you caught Colonel Mustang trying on a miniskirt in a woman's clothing store?

Edward: (rolling on the floor laughing and runs out of breath)

Oh…*hic* God, that bastard would never live it down… I'm trying to decide on which is better in that situation: blackmail or publicity. Either way, it would be freaking hilarious.

Roy: …Yeah, really funny, Fullmetal…

Edward: Exactly!

Roy: Shut it, runt.

Edward: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT HE USES ATOMS FOR CHAIRS, YOU BASTARD?!

Roy: You, obviously.

Edward: You wanna fight? Let's go, you cross dressing pyro!

Me: Ugh… (Grabs fire hose and huge electromagnet) I should probably break this up before somebody gets killed; namely myself.

Okay, since that little d-

Edward: *glare*

Uh… I mean, since that disaster with no adjectives that imply anything has been solved, we can move on to another new reviewer: DXRough! DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH, BABY! (I apologize; I'm feeling somewhat manic today.)

Dear Lust,
What would you do if Envy walking in on you changing? (Is this too inappropriate?)
Dear Envy,
What would you do if you had to babysit Elicia?
Dear Riza,
What would you do if Hayate was missing?

Lust: Excellent question. I would spear him in the throat and throw his body about fifty feet away. I'm done here.

Me: Wait! …Okay, does everyone just make their own rules around here…?

Envy: Hmm. I actually somewhat like this human. But may I ask the reviewer a question?

Me: …I'm scared. But I guess you can, if it answers their question.

Envy: All right. Should I turn myself into her father first, then slowly kill her, or turn myself into her mother and slowly kill her?

Me: I don't even know how to react to that one…

Riza: If Hayate went missing, I would probably take the day off and go looking for him. Fortunately, Hayate knows not to go too far from home, so it wouldn't take too long to find him. But I would get pretty worried…

And now for lotrprincess! I always think of the Legend of Zelda when I hear your name for some reason… Even though it's Lord of the Rings… I'm weird today, if you hadn't noticed…

Ha! Yeah, Ed, they'd deserve it. Although I now know why people (read: Mustang and Winry) like to rile you up. The result is so...entertaining.
Dear Alphonse,
What would YOU do if someone called your brother a cripple?

Dear Elric brothers,
What would you do if Izumi found out about Ed becoming a State Alchemist, say, when he was fourteen-ish, and cornered you both at Eastern Command?
Dear Mustang and his team,
What would your reaction be to this possibly gory and traumatic sight?
Dear Izumi,
What would you think of Mustang, both as another dog of the military and the man who persuaded your students to join the military?

Edward: Damn right they'd deserve it. And what do you mean? IT ISN'T FUNNY!

Alphonse: Uh, Brother? I think you need to calm down… But if someone called Edward a cripple to his face, I would try to make sure he didn't kill them, unless it was a Homunculus. If someone called him a cripple behind his back, I would be ready to defend my brother. After all, he would do the same for me!

Edward: And if our teacher found out about the "joining the military" thing earlier and had come after us, well… (Starts shaking uncontrollably) W-we would probably dig a bomb shelter and hide out for a month or two…

Roy: You know, I think I would actually feel bad for Fullmetal. I've met his teacher, and it was… scary…

Riza: I agree with the Colonel.

Havoc and Fuery: We'd run away until it was over…

Breda: I'm with them.

Falman: I'll take a train to the north, please…

Izumi: Hm. I suppose it would depend. For example, if he was first introduced to me as the man who convinced one of my students to join the military, he likely wouldn't have survived. If I'd gotten to know him first, before learning he was from the military and made Ed a fellow dog, he would probably have been maimed only a little bit. Currently, I think he's a good man, and he's trying his hardest to change Amestris' future. I'm still somewhat mad about having Edward join the military, but I realize now that if he hadn't, well… I'll let you think about that, but it would've made a huge impact on everything.

Now we have some questions from one of our anonymous viewers, Guest! Wait… if you're a guest, does that mean I'm a Host? …I want to poke Hikaru and Kaoru… :3

Dear Ms. Cow,
Are you insulted by Ed [PS: answer this question where Ed can't find you]?

Dear Ed and Buccaneer,

What would do if you had to switch automail for a day?

Dear Al,
What would you do if you got pimped by Xzibit on Pimp my Ride? (Because Ed usually rides on you.)

Dear Havoc,
What would you do if Roy, Kain, Heymans and Riza staged an intervention for your smoking addiction?

Cow: Not really. I honestly don't take it personally if people dislike milk, seeing as how it's actually meant for baby cows, and not people…

Edward: Okay, now that would be awesome. I'm stuck between the Bear Claws and the Crocodile, because they're both really badass.

Buccaneer: I'm flattered that he likes my automail, but… it would be way too small, and it's not at my quality standards.

Winry: Oh, so my work isn't good enough for you, huh?! (Pulls out giant wrench)

Edward: RUN! (Flees)

Buccaneer: What the heck are you so afraid of? It's only a wre-AGH! *knocked out*

Me: Uh… I think it's time to move on!

Alphonse: Um… Brother really doesn't "ride" me…the only times he does are in emergency situations…

Edward: …I don't recall riding you. But they couldn't remodel him, anyways. I'm actually the only one who knows how not to break his blood seal.

Alphonse: Brother, would I look cooler, though?

Edward: Al, they are NOT touching you. Besides, you already are the coolest little brother ever.

Alphonse: Thank you, Brother! :D

Havoc: They wouldn't get me off. They've already tried. (Smokes a cigarette)

Roy: Yeah, we seriously regret trying to remove him from his nicotine…

Falman: It would seem that he cares more about the cigarettes than his girlfriends. Whereas normally he would just cry about losing another girl to the Colonel, he suddenly turned violent.

Breda: *shiver* I still have scars…

Well, that just about wraps it up. Thank you to BabyBlueBeluga, Kok0roxGuardian, DXRough, lotrprincess, my guest reviewer, and FMAlover07 for dealing with all the weirdness…

And for you new followers, you shall be my minions! MWAHAHAH-*cough* Anyways, I'll try to update on Wednesday. But I seriously can't express how awesome all of you are :D