A/N: I want to give a big thanks to all of my reviewers, and say that I appreciate all of your comments and please if you have anything to say at all I want to hear it ...even criticism. There are going to be a lot of songs in this chapter so if you get confused i'm sorry. I don't own anything you recognize including the five songs
-Justin Timberlake's "Cry Me A River"
-Taylor Swift's "You Should've Said No"
-Garth Brooks "Shameless"
-Keith Anderson's "Everytime I Hear Your Name"
&
-Carrie Underwood's "Wasted"
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"Whitley" Dean half way sighed as he stood with his hands placed on the sides of my doorway. I stood up while staying on the opposite side of my bed from him, and turned to face him. "I know you're mad, and..." I stopped him.
"Mad? Mad doesn't even begin to explain it Dean!" I said out of frustration.
"Okay, and you have every reason to be more than angry with me."
"Yeah I do, but I can't do this right now, and even if I could I wouldn't know what to say." I said as I was getting ready to leave the room.
"Well you always said that you could talk better through music, so tell me that way."
"Huh?"
"I want to hear what you have to say, and if you can't put it into words then tell me through song." He explained
"Fine!" I walked over to my desk and plugged my iPod into my docking station. I scrolled through my songs and started playing "Cry Me A River" by Justin Timberlake.
You
were my sun
You were my earth
But you didn't know all the ways
I loved you
So you took a chance
And made other plans
But I
bet you didn't think that they would come crashing down, no
I played about the first fifty seconds then stopped it, and started playing "Should've Said No" by Taylor Swift
It's
strange to think the songs we used to sing,
The smiles, the
flowers, everything,
Is gone.
Yesterday I found out about
you,
Even now just looking at you,
Feels wrong.
You say,
that you'd take it all back,
Given one chance, it was a moment of
weakness,
And you said yes
You
should've said no, You can see that I've been cryin',
You should've gone home,
You should've
thought twice before you let it all go.
You should've known the
word, 'bout what you did with her'd,
Get back to me.
And I
should've been there,
In the back of your mind,
I shouldn't
be asking myself why,
You shouldn't be beggin' for forgiveness at
my feet.
You should've said no,
Baby and you might still have
me.
Baby you know all
the right things,
To say.
But do you, honestly,
Expect me,
to believe,
We could ever be the same.
You say, that the past
is the past,
You need one chance, it was a moment of weakness,
And you said yes
I
can't resit,
Before you go tell me this,
Was it worth it,
Was
she worth this?
After that I stopped the song, and turned to Dean.
"Does that sum it up well enough for ya?" I asked him
"Well...ya I guess, but do you mind if I play something?"
"Um...I guess not." When he walked over to my desk I stood out of the way. I waited until after he was looking through my iPod before I went over to the opposite side of my bed.
"Do you really despise me that much?" He asked once he noticed that I was keeping my distace from him.
"It's not that, I just don't know if I want to get to colse to you yet."
"Why not?"
"Because, I don't know how I feel about you yet... Will you just play the damn song already."
"Okay!" After he pressed play he turned back to look at me. The song started playing and I didn't recognize it at first because I hadn't listened to it since we broke up. That was almost six years ago.
Well
I'm shamemeless when it comes to loving you And I'm standing here
for all the world to see
I'll do anything you
want me to
I'll do anything at all
Oh baby that's what's left of me
Don't
have very far to fall
After I listened to it about this far in I didn't know what to think. I couldn't believe that he actually remembered. He remembered after all this time that this is my favorite Garth Brooks song.
I'm shameless, oh honey I don't have
a prayer And I'm changin' swore I'd never compromise You
see in all my life I've never found
You
know now I'm not a man who's ever been
Insecure about the world
I've been livin' in
I don't break easy I have my pride
But if
you need to be satisfied
Every time I see you standin' there
I go down upon my
knees
Oh but
you convinced me otherwise
I'll do anything you please
What I couldn't resist what I
couldn't turn down
I could walk away from anyone I ever knew
But
I can't walk away from you
He looked into my eyes as he started walking across the room twards me. He was about five feet away when I held up my hand for him to stop. He stood still for a moment then said. "You remember that time we drove your dads truck down to the creek?" I nodded.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------(flashback)
Dean has been staying in Texas for about a month now that Sam's gone. He works jobs from time to time with either me or my dad. Tonight my dad is going on a hunt. He asked Dean if he wanted to come along, but he told him no. He called me earlier today around noon and told me to be ready for him to pick me up about seven. After that I just sat around the house until around four. Soon after I took a shower, then went into my room to start getting ready. I put my Rush tape into my cassette player and listend to it while I was getting ready. I walked over to my closet, and looked through my clothes. I couldn't decide what to wear, so I called Danielle.
"Dani hey, i'm going on a date tonight...what should I wear?"
"Well who's the date with?"
"Dean."
"Oh, ya him... sorry I thought maybe you dumped him by now."
"Dani!"
"I was just kidding!...What do you think you might want to wear?"
"I don't know, maybe a mini skirt?" I said questioningly
"Oo wear that green cargo mini, and that camo shirt."
"Which camo shirt?"
"The long john kinda one."
"The one with or with out the hood?"
"Dude you own way too much camo!... the one Without."
"Okay thanks."
"Call me after you get home, K?"
"K. Bye." I hung up my phone and looked through my closet for the outfit, when I saw Dean standing in my doorway. "Dean! What are you doing here?" I asked completely shocked, for two reasons. One he wasn't suppossed to be here until later, and two I was standing in a towel. I don't think he really minded though.
"Um..well I came over to see if I could borrow your cassette tapes, but now I don't think I want to leave."
"Yes you can borrow them, and no you can't stay"
"Dang." he sighed. He grabbed the shoe box and walked back twards me. "Thanks." He said after he kissed me. "See ya in a couple hours."
"Okay, see ya."
I got dressed after I heard him leave. Then walked back into the bathroom and did my hair. After I was finished with everything I walked down stairs and grabbed a water from the fridge. Devin walked in soon after.
"Hey Whit."
"Hey."
He looked at me for a few seconds. "Is that what you're wearing?"
"Um ya... why?"
"No reason."
"What's wrong with it?"
"Nothin."
"Then what?"
"Nothin'...Dean's gonna be happy that's all." He said with a smerk on his face as he walked out of the kitchen.
Devin and I sat down stairs for 30 minutes or so before I realized that I left my shoes upstairs. When I was in my room I heard a knock at the door. I started walking down the stairs as Devin answered it. Dean was waiting for me when I reached the bottom.
"Hey." I said. He looked really hot. He was wearing an old pair of jeans with a hole in one of the knees, and a plain black tee-shirt.
(Dean's POV)
"Wow" I said somewhat breathlessly. She just looked at me and smiled. She wasn't really dressed up, but damn she looked good. "You ready?"
"Ya." She turned to Devin. "There are frozen pizza's in the freezer when you get hungray, but make sure you read the insturctions before you put it in the oven."
"Whitley, I'm not 10, I think I'm capable of making a frozen pizza." "But thanks" he said timidly
"You're welcome. Bye"
"Later."
We left her house and drove for about fifteen minutes before we reached this little dirt path that led back next to the river. I parked the truck and reached down under the seat to grab the box of tapes she let me borrow earlier. I rummaged through it until I found her favorite, and then put it into the cassette player.
"Dean?" She asked slightly confused
"Yes?"
"Are we listening to country music?"
"Yes." She sat there for a moment with a disturbed look on her face, then listened to the song.
"Garth Brooks?"
"Ya, are you impressed?"
"Should I be?"
"Yes!" She just laughed and scooted closer to me. She rested her head on my shoulder until the song was over. Then sat up and leaned against the passenger door.
"Thanks for that."
"Don't mention it. So, what do you want to do?"
"I could think of a few things." sh said coyly
"Me too, but they might get me killed."
"Don't worry about that." She said as she leaned in and kissed me. That continued for awhile. I started escalating and I pulled away for a moment.
"Are you sure about this?" I asked just to make sure
"Yes! Now shut up and kiss me." After it was over she fell asleep in my arms, and I just sat there and watched her until she woke up about and hour later.
"Hey you ready to go, or do you want to stay a little longer?"
"What time is it?" She asked
"About 9:45."
"Okay, lets stay until 10 then we can head back to my place." She said
"Okay." We got out of the truck and walked over and sat next to a big oak tree close to the river. I just sat there with her in my arms staring at the river for fifteen minutes before I asked."
"So...are you okay?"
"I'm great." She stood up and then looked down at me. "You ready to go."
"Ya." We went back to her house and ended up falling asleep in her room. I woke up before she did and just thoguht to myslef ofr awhile. I just thought about last night, and how great it was. I mean I probably could have planned it a little better so we weren't in the cab of a truck. Other than that it was perfect, oh and except for the fact that it was pretty much a country song put into reality. But really it all comes down to the one thing that really matters, I Love Her.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------(End Flashback
I
have never let anything have this much control over me You know it
should be easy for a man who's strong It's out of my hands Oh I'm shameless, shameless as a man can
be Oh
I'm shameless
I work too
hard to call my life my own
And I've made myself a world and it's
worked so perfectly
But it's your world now I can't refuse
I've
never had so much to lose
Oh I'm shameless
To say he's sorry or admit
when he's wrong
I've never lost anything I've ever missed
But
I've never been in love like this
I'm
shameless, I don't have the power now
I don't want it anyhow
So
I got to let it go
You make a total fool of me
I just wanted to you to know
I just wanted you to know
Oh I'm shameless
Oh
I'm down on my knees...shameless
When the song ended I looked up and he was standing right infront of me. The only thing I could do was stare into his eyes.
"There's one more song I found on there that I want to play for you." He said softly. I nodded and he walked back across the room to my desk. After the song started playing I sat down on my floor up against my wall and listened.
Finally
got over that song of ours; stopped chasin' little red sports
cars, But when I hear your name, Got someone special in my life;
everyone thinks she'll make a great wife. And when the conversation turns to you, I stop thinkin' 'bout the words I left
unsaid. I feel rain fallin'
right out of the blue sky.
To check the license plates and I quit drivin' by your
place.
Back makin' the rounds at our old haunts: Honky Tonks,
restaurants.
And seein' some of our old friends: it feels good to
dance again.
And I can finally smell your perfume and not look
around the room for you.
And I can walk right by your picture in a
frame and not feel a thing.
I
feel rain fallin' right out of the blue sky.
And it's the fifth of
May, and I'm right there starin' in your eyes.
And nothin's
changed, and we're still same.
And I get lost in the innocence of
a first kiss,
And I'm hangin' on to every word rollin' off of your
lips:
And that's all it takes, and I'm in that place,
Every
time I hear your name.
Dad says he thinks she's
the one; reminds him of Mom when she was young.
But it's way too
soon to be talkin' 'bout rings; don't wanna rush into anything.
She's
getting over someone too, kinda like me and you.
And she talks
about him every once in a while, and I just nod my head and
smile,
'cause I know exactly what she's goin' through; yeah, I've
been there too.
I
get caught in a "you were the only one for me",
Kinda
thought, and your face is all that I see.
I know I can't go back
but I still go back.
And there we are, parked down by the
riverside,
And I'm in your arms about to make love for the first
time,
And that's all it takes, and I'm in that place,
Every
time I hear your name.
(Every time I hear your name.)
I stop tryin' the change
the things I can't change.
(Every time I hear your name.)
In my
heart I know you're gone, but in my head,
And it's the fifth of May, and I'm
right there starin' in your eyes.
That's all it takes, and I'm in
that place.
And there we are, parked down by the riverside,
And
I'm in your arms about to make love for the first time.
And I
can't explain, but I'm in that place,
Every time I hear your
name.
"Okay, there's just one more thing I want to play. After I start it i'm gonna leave and take a shower. You can sit in here as long as you like, if i'm not back before you decide to leave just turn it off." He looked at me for a moment before nodding. I turned on the song and walked down the hall to the bathroom. I turned on the shower, got in, and just started crying. The weird part is that I didn't know why. Was it because he's back and I think I might still have feelings for him, or because now that i've finally moved on he's decided that he want's me back.
(Dean's POV)
Standing
at the back door For
one split second I
don't wanna' spend my life jaded Another
glass of whisky but it still don't kill the pain Cause' I
don't wanna' spend my life jaded Oh I
don't wanna' keep on wishing, missin' She kept drivin' along Hey, yeah, Oh I
don't wanna' keep on wishing, missing Oh, I don't wanna' spend my life jaded Yeah, yeah
She tried to make it fast
One tear hit the
hard wood
It felt like broken glass
She said sometimes love
slips away
And you just can't get it back
Let's face it
She almost turned around
But that would be
like pouring rain drops
Back into a cloud
So she took another
step and said
I see the way out and I'm gonna' take it
Waitin' to wake up one day and
find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted
So he stumbles
to the sink and pours it down the drain
He says it's time to be a
man and stop living for yesterday
Gotta face it.
Waitin' to wake up one day and
find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted
But still every morning'
the color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted
Till the moon and the sun were
floating side-by-side
He looked in the mirror and his eyes were
clear
For the first time in a while
Oh, I
don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waitin' to wake up one day and
find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted
But still every morning'
the color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted
Waitin' to wake up
one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted
Oh I don't wanna' keep on wishing, missing
But still every morning' the color of the night
I ain't
spending no more time
Wasted
After the song ended I sat in her desk chair for a few more minutes until I heard her walk in. I didn't turn around to face her.
"Whitley, I realize that I made mistakes in the past and i'll probably make a hell of a lot more in the future, but i'm not here to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you. I just came here to tell you..." I stood up and turned to her. "after I left I realized that I had made the biggest mistake of my life, and i've thought about that mistake everyday since then. I screwed up, but Whit I just want you to know that i'm sorry for everything. And I know that apologizing doesn't fix any of that, but hopefully you can forgive me.
"Dean, I forgave you a long time ago, or at least I thought I did. Now i'm not so sure. I mean I want to let it go, it's just hard to not be angry now that you're here. Everyone makes mistakes, and in your defense you warned me, but it's been six years."
"Yes I know and i've thought about you everyday for the past six years. Then you're brother called me a few days ago and I realized that I just needed to see you. To see if I still had feelings for you, and I do." I said as I walked twards her. "I do, it's been six years and I still feel the way I did before I left. I mean things have changed but Whitley I still care about you." I was standing so close to her that we were practally touching. I just looked into her eyes. "And that's never gonna change." She looked a little shocked and nervous at the same time, but before I could say anything I heard someone coming up the stairs.
