Heathertail
"So, what am I doing in training today, Crowfeather?" I had poured my heart out to Crowfeather early about the Gathering, explaining to him in detail how much it hurt me, how depressed I was. He didn't care at all; he didn't want to be talking to me, but he couldn't leave. He was my mentor, and he couldn't very well leave his apprentice alone outside of the camp. I very nearly forced him to listen to the entire story before asking him what we were doing, mostly wanting to vent and let all of my emotions out, but partially hoping that maybe it would show him that I had learned my lesson. A small part of me still clung to the hope that he would finally forgive me, finally give me something to do.
"You're going hunting alone. Why do you even ask anymore?" The question was rhetorical. I didn't bother answering it, due to that fact and because answering would likely only result in my being scolded for wasting time. I simply ran off again, nodding the smallest nod, to begin my hunting before Crowfeather had an opportunity to rebuke me for anything.
Nearly no part of the moor was left unfound through some part of my multiple hunts, so it didn't take me long at all to find the best hunting spot in the territory that day. That was, the best spot that other cats rarely went to. The warriors and apprentices wouldn't want me hunting in the area they hunted in, so I didn't bother trying. I just went off to the perfect spot for a cat like me- a lonely, outcast spot that still had prey. It had a lot of prey, actually, and I often found myself surprised that I was the only cat who bothered spending much time there.
My day went as normal, tracking scents and trying not to be distracted. The battle that happened to me every day when Crowfeather couldn't be bothered to follow me in my hunts happened yet again, rationality winning out over happiness as it almost always did. A butterfly flew across my hunting area, which was such a sudden change of scenery that I nearly sprang up to follow it before coming to my senses. I had to sulkily hold myself back, tracking a mouse I had been following for ages, when I would have much rather been following the one splash of color in a boring world.
A splash of excitement shoved itself into my life when I heard a pitiful screech coming from near my spot. It sounded full of pure terror, and it curdled my blood, chilling me to the core. I gave up my hunt instantly, dropping the scent trail I had been following to investigate the scream. Crowfeather could rebuke me all he wanted for not doing as I was told; I had to find out what was wrong. No cat could expect me to leave a screech like that alone.
Once I found what the source of the scream was, I learned that what I was doing wasn't only justified, it actually fit in with the Warrior Code. A kit I assumed was Ashkit was pressed deeply into the ground, cringing away from a badger. I screamed louder than the kit was capable of. I was scared, for one thing, but more importantly, I wanted to attract attention to myself. There was a chance at the badger coming after me instead of the kit, and the rest of the Clan would come to my aid.
My plan of attack worked as well as I allowed myself to hope. The badger began to ignore the kit entirely, turning to me instead and attacking me head-on. I figured I was doomed, since no cat could fight a badger with the slightest hope of survival. I couldn't let that stop me, though. It wasn't bravery pushing me on, but cowardice. I didn't want to die, and a badger wasn't going to make me, if I had any say in it at all.
And so I fought. I was faster than the badger was, so for the most part, I just drew it towards me and away from the kit. It hit me once, a blow strong enough I hardly stayed on my paws, but somehow I stayed upright and darted back. I scratched the badger when it hit me, right on the nose, but it seemed to annoy the badger more than harm it, meaning my move was probably unwise. Losing a lot of blood from the wound meant I was finally forced to fight back; I couldn't flee forever or I would bleed out.
I ran up to the badger, hoping to surprise it, and was somewhat successful. It didn't seem to expected anything so forward. I scratched it once, trying to get its eyes. It was a low move, I will admit now, but at the time it was my best hope of survival. Having the luck I had I missed, only scratching its face and annoying it even more. At that point my demise seemed pressing forwards, little by little, but a cry from my Clanmates showed me otherwise.
That kit probably saved my life. It got me into the mess in the first place, but I wasn't certain my Clanmates would have fought to save my life. Three apprentices were coming towards me, glaring at me harshly as always, but racing to protect the kit. In order to ensure that the kit was save, they were forced to help me fight the badger. They fought strongly, much more strongly than I had, due to far greater amounts of training. They also gave us the advantage of numbers, meaning they could afford to be much more bold than I had. After a grueling fight we finally managed to push the badger back and return to our camp.
Quickpaw was granted the right to carry Ashkit back to camp. I was a bit annoyed at that; I had found the kit, I thought I deserved the honor. I didn't bother fighting the decision. There was no possibility that the other apprentices would have taken my opinion seriously. Quickpaw got to walk into the camp with his head held high, like the other apprentices, while I scurried off to the medicine den after a quick nod from Onestar. I made sure to get the nod, since that meant Onestar acknowledged that I was part of the rescue party. If he hadn't nodded in full sight of so many witnesses, who I hoped were willing to value their honor over their hate for me, he would have probably pretended I wasn't part of the rescue at all.
Spotpaw spoke to me while I was in the medicine den. He stopped speaking as soon as he remembered who I was, of course. He was a forgetful apprentice. He managed to leak to me that Onestar intended to make the other three apprentices warriors for their bravery, and for saving a kit. I received no mention whatsoever, and I decided to take it into my own paws to stop that. Crowfeather certainly wasn't going to do anything about it.
Onestar could easily be found in his den, where he often was. I waited by his entrance, hoping he would grant me permission to come into his den. He did, promptly informing me that I wasn't going to be made a warrior and strongly implying that I should go away, implying being the important word there. He didn't expressly tell me to leave, so I didn't technically break any rules when I stayed. "Onestar, it's not fair and you know it. I did something wrong moons ago. Rightfully, I should have been made a warrior long ago. You waited this long, but it's long enough. I fought the badger just as hard as those apprentices."
"No, you didn't. They had to save your sorry, mouse-brained pelt," was Onestar's curt response to my thought-out speech. He turned his back on me upon saying that, but I ignored it. This was an act of injustice I wouldn't allow to be left alone. I had been quiet for long enough.
"I was fighting long before they got there, Onestar," I insisted. "I heard the kit first. I risked my life to save the kit, although I knew I wouldn't be given any thanks. The queen probably would have said that I should have let it die rather than be saved by a disgrace," I added thoughtlessly. "Anyways, I risked my life. I distracted the badger for so long that it actually managed to hit me once. I still evaded it for so long that I nearly bled out." I stopped there to allow him time to respond. It was bound to be a long argument, and I had to save some of my points.
"You shouldn't have been injured. You should have been fast enough to avoid a big, clumsy badger, and smart enough to have taken the kit and fled."
"Straight to the camp, where the kit would find its mother, I presume? So I could lead the badger back here and allow it even more kills?" I was impolite there, but I wasn't ashamed of it. Onestar deserved it. "Onestar, no other cats were there. I could have taken the kit and ran and only led the badger to us or let the queen wait after hearing the kit screech. I was the only cat there, Onestar, and I had to stall."
"The badger easily could have been led away by you. You should have led it away from the kit, then, and brought it out of the territory. You could have kept running until it killed you, if you were in such a sacrificial mood."
"Actually, Onestar, I'm not allowed to leave Clan territory without special permission. I'm an apprentice, remember? And what do you think I was trying to do? I kept leading the badger away from the kit, but it took time. If I ran too quickly, the badger would have gone back to the kit. Luring things take a lot of patience, even if they're as dumb as a badger."
"Account for your enemy's stupidity next time."
"It's better to overestimate your enemy than underestimate them," I retorted harshly. It was hard to drop my voice from falling into a hiss. "That's what all apprentices are taught from the beginning of their fighting training."
"Fine. Fine! You want a warrior ceremony so badly? You'll get a warrior ceremony." Onestar hissed that awfully. I half expected him to claw my throat out then and there. I assumed he was going to give me a dumb name, like Heatherdirt, even though that wasn't an official ending. It was what he would have given me whether or not I had fought him, if he ever made me a warrior without a fight. "Let all cats old enough to run down rabbits gather in the clearing!"
My fellow badger fighters sat in the clearing with me, surprised when I sat down beside them. One of them muttered that I shouldn't be allowed to attend the meeting. I smiled proudly at him, grinning from ear to ear when I saw the look on his face as he realized that I was being made a warrior. The other apprentices just stared in awe; it wasn't every night that four cats were made warriors at once, especially when one of them was a traitor.
"Rosepaw, please step forward. I, Onestar, leader of WindClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. She has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend her to you as a warrior in her turn. Rosepaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?"
"I do," Rosepaw said meekly, nearly trembling at the excitement of becoming a warrior.
"Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Rosepaw, from this moment you will be known as Rosewing. StarClan honors your bravery and courage, and we welcome you as a full warrior of WindClan." Onestar's voice rang out loud and clear, pride noticeable in his tone.
The other two ceremonies went the same way. I was last, as was to be expected, and the newly named Quickflight and Frostears seemed to think it was where I belonged. I held my tongue at how funny I found it that Quickflight's name implied that he was fast at running away; I didn't want to risk ruining the moment I had worked so hard to achieve.
"Heatherpaw, please step forward. I, Onestar, leader of WindClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. She has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend her to you as a warrior in her turn. Heatherpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?" Scorn raged in Onestar's eyes while he said that; it was clear that I couldn't live up to that.
"I do," I answered him confidently, standing up straight where the other apprentices had trembled. Onestar didn't deserve my trembling.
"Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Heatherpaw, from this moment you will be known as Otherpaw- Otherface, I mean. You have shown us another face of your own, and you deserve to be named after it. StarClan honors your independence and initiative, although they shouldn't, and we welcome you as a full warrior of WindClan."
That was the final straw. For moons I had wondered why I bothered with Clan life when it was the same as being a loner. It was harder than me than it was for some loners, since I had so many tasks Crowfeather forced me to live up to. Being insulted like that finally shoved me over the edge. When the Clan cheered for all of the new warriors except me, it just made me leave faster. Onestar said that I had promised to protect my Clan, even at the cost of my life, but I felt no ties to them. They weren't my Clan, as they had openly shown so many times. I didn't belong there, and I never would again.
