A/N: Hey guys! :D How's everyone doing? Good? I hope soooo. I also hope that this chapter is good. It's so hard to write to at times, because it still doesn't have much of a plot line...I'm not sure how long it's going to be or anything really, but I'll keep writing! Let me know your ideas and thoughts and anything else! Maybe you'll think of something better than I can! Let me know what you think please. :3 And enjoyyy~

White Noise-

Chapter Four; Start driving or I'm dropping your precious PSP


My dreams that night consisted of two things. Alcohol and a redhead. Every time I woke up, I'd fall right back asleep and just continue dreaming. It was like I couldn't escape it. Matt without a shirt one moment and then…more drinking.

And when I finally woke up for good, I had a hard on.

There were plenty of options but instead of jerking off to that…dumb bastard, I took a cold shower instead.

When I was finished, I walked into the living room/kitchen and saw everyone was already awake. They all turned to me and stared and I waved. "What's up?"

Misa spoke first; her arm was latched around Light's. "We were all discussing today's agenda. Any input?"

I shrugged and started searching the cupboards for leftover chocolate. "I don't care what we do, you know that."

"The chocolate is in here, Mello," L said while guiding me towards a pullout drawer. I thanked him and finally sat down with everyone, biting off blocks of chocolate into my mouth.

I think Misa glared at me a little, but I couldn't really tell. Was she mad…?

"How about…some early swimming?"

Oh that's right. She wanted Light to swim with her today.

I figured that I could add some input then, just to get her off my back. "Yeah. I'm down for some swimming. It'll be a lot warmer when the suns out anyways. Wanna swim, Light?" I nudged him a bit with my elbow and he sighed.

"Ryuzaki doesn't want to. So…" Light looked towards the raven haired boy who blinked a few times in surprise.

"Oh, no, Light. Don't ruin your fun because I won't join," he sounded really sincere, like he really cared about Light going swimming with us.

Misa was a shaken pop can about to explode besides the brunet. We all waited for Light to say something. When he finally did I was shocked by what he said, "Ryuzaki and I are staying in the cabin today. Just the two of us."

The blonde's eyes lowered and mine went wide. They…were going to stay here…all alone…?

No one said anything for a few seconds until I finally spoke up. "What the hell for…?" I think I spoke for everyone, even L. He looked the most shocked out of all of us.

Light turned and glowered at me. I regretted asking anything. "Because I said so."

He stood up then and grabbed L's hand, pulling him away until they reached one of the farthest rooms. I heard him lock the door afterwards and then Misa's crying ensued.

She also stood up and ran out of the cabin, tears falling in her wake.

And then it was just me and good old Near.

Oh, this vacation was turning out to be such an adventure.

A weird silence took over the kitchen and I put a hand to my forehead, kneading it a little.

Near finally spoke, "Well. This sure is awkward."

"No fucking joke, Near," I growled out, clenching the bar of chocolate in my palm.

"I suppose that you should go comfort the girl. That's usually what you do best," he told me, smirking.

I turned towards him and glared full force. "This is such bullshit!" I slammed a fist down onto the table, crushing my chocolate with it. "This wasn't supposed to be Jersey fucking Shore!"

"This isn't my fault. Don't take it out on me," he voiced, shrugging his shoulders.

Sighing, I turned towards the door and frowned at it instead. I didn't want to go comfort Misa. I didn't want to fight with my friends or have to give advice again. It was tiring…this whole vacation was turning out to be less of a vacation and more of an emotional battlefield.

And I'd had enough of it.

While I stood up I went and reached for my cigarettes which I had left on the counter the other day. Maybe today would be the day I smoked more than one.

I let my body lean against the side of the house and I stared up into the sky, the sun shining onto my somewhat pale skin. It felt like rays of pure evil. And the cigarette didn't even calm me. All it did was cause me to think of the redhead…

The feeling of longing entered my stomach again and I wanted to cry as well. I wondered momentarily where Misa had run off to, because she was nowhere to be seen. I felt bad, of course I did. But what the hell was I supposed to do about it? I wasn't here to fix her relationship or even move it along. Sure, I'd help with what I was able to, but this was…out of my league. I guess that I had known something like this was going to happen sometime or another but I never expected it so quickly and…now of all times. I thought Light could at least wait to ruin her life until we got back home.

Smoke filed up towards the sky and I watched as it did. Relationships…never worked. I learned that from just watching Misa and Light. That's why…I would never even try to have one. Not in a million years. All it caused was broken hearts and unnecessary tears.

When I looked up from taking one of my last hits I saw something that had me narrowing my eyes and my stomach bubbling with…anger.

I had found Misa…but I had also found someone else with her. Matt was close to her, kneeling down in front of her fetal positioned form, I think one of his hands was underneath her chin. She was talking, gesticulating a lot like usual, I couldn't see if she was still crying or not.

What the fuck was going on…?

I didn't understand how I hadn't seen them earlier. Maybe they'd just sat there recently and I didn't notice.

My feet wanted to walk towards them; the cigarette butt I had dropped was burning a leaf next to my black boots. But…Matt's hand was drifting towards her cheek, rubbing it slightly. My gut was on fire just like the leaf. I was…jealous.

I couldn't just walk up to them like that. While he was…comforting her…

Wasn't that supposed to be my job…?

I didn't want to bring attention to myself but I couldn't help but punch the wall of the cabin. The wood wasn't the best thing to punch but I managed to do some damage, mostly to my knuckles.

My body didn't turn to look at them, I just kept walking away. I had to get away. I had…to do something. And I couldn't stand looking at either of them any longer.

Matt…I couldn't figure him out. Was he trying to make me jealous? Well, he was doing a hell of a good job at it. I'd never felt this engaged before. And it wasn't fucking fair because I…I didn't even like that guy! Okay, I was just fooling myself there, of course I liked him. No, I found him to be the hottest man alive, but his personality had way too many quirks in it. I hated him. But I liked him at the same goddamn time.

I sent a glare towards Near who was setting up dominoes on the front porch. He just smirked at me but I kept walking, more like stomping. That kid could entertain himself four hours; at least no one had to worry about him. Not like I would have in the first place.

I wish I had known where I was going. It wasn't like I could just go home. Home was three hours away. Oh god…the ride home was going to be terrible…

Footsteps were approaching me from behind and I felt like running to avoid them. Whoever it was I didn't want to talk to them or even look in their direction. But they didn't give me a choice. A gloved hand latched onto my hand and pulled me towards the backside of the cabin. I got the wind knocked out of me when that arm pinned me to the wall and I finally glared into those goggles.

"You fucking piece of—"

"Yeah, yeah. I know. I'm a piece a shit."

"Get the fuck off of me!" I tried kicking him and moving my arms but his arm was stretched out in front of my neck, choking me when I moved too quickly.

"I saw you punch the wall," he said, his eyes looked yellow through the orange of the goggles.

I bowed my head and spit onto his boot. "You're seriously pushing me past my breaking point."

"Yeah, well, you're doing the same to me."

I stared at him, confusion and anger in my eyes. "What the fuck are y—"

And then he forced his lips onto mine. The anger and confusion left my eyes to leave a blank, wide stare behind. My lips didn't move but his did, urging mine to join in. His tongue tried invading my mouth and for some stupid reason I let it. He took that as an advantage and pressed his body closer to mine, slipping his wet tongue further into my mouth. His arm was beginning to make it hard to breathe but maybe that wasn't all of it. I think…he was making really hard for me to even think.

When my own tongue finally began circling his I felt him smile a little. I was…being swept away and I fucking hated feeling like that. I never said he could kiss me. How did he even know that I wanted it?

His mouth left mine so he could breathe and I took in a sharp breath. He was about to continue but I turned my head quickly so that he kissed my cheek instead. Not stopping there, he began kissing my neck too, his nose rubbing against my skin. This was all too much like my dreams…and I wasn't…handling it too well. My chest was heaving up and down with all the heat. I hated it.

"I'm leaving today. Come with me," he purred, putting a gloved hand on my hip bone, rubbing it gently.

I looked up towards the clouds and tried to breathe normally. "You're fucking nuts…"

"Yeah but I'm not stupid." I would beg to differ. "You saw me with Misa and flipped shit."

"Tch…" I narrowed my eyes again but my heart wouldn't slow down.

"See…?" His nose nuzzled into the nape of my neck again and I felt Goosebumps cover my arms. "You don't even have anything to say."

Of course I didn't have anything to say. Because he was so fucking right. I felt like a total idiot.

Matt finally let his arm down and I could breathe a little better. He used his fingers to move the goggles out of his eyes like he had before. It was like he knew that I loved his eyes more than anything else and if he removed the goggles that I would just succumb to his wishes.

"Why…should I go with you…?" I asked, trying to avoid those damn emeralds.

He thought for a moment and then said, "Because you know you want to."

I…couldn't even argue with him there. Did I really want to stay here with my emotionally challenged friends and try to mend a relationship while getting bullied by Near and possibly really pissing Light off? The answer was plain and simple.

No.

I wanted to have this giant weight off my chest so that I could finally be myself without so many people around. I had thought this trip would be good for us, and some of it wasn't terrible. But…it was rapidly going downhill and there wasn't any way I could stop it from falling.

I was risking my friendship though—my go-to people that might hate me for leaving them. But what if…I could make new friends…? Matt had friends. And there was also Matt…who I obviously didn't see a future with or anything amazing, but…maybe my longing would be gone with him around. That horrible empty feeling of being unwanted wasn't…really there anymore. And I found that so damn appealing…

"So…" Matt grabbed my chin just like he had with Misa's only moments ago. I looked anywhere but right at him. "We're leaving in ten. Get your things ready."

Before letting me go he planted a kiss onto my lips. It was strong and almost made me pass out. When he pulled back, spit was clinging to his tongue and it dripped onto the side of his chin. He stared at me with those eyes and wiped it off with his glove and my pants grew a lot tighter than normal.

Damn him to hell.

I ignored Near's looks of misperception as I left the cabin with everything packed away in my suitcase. Misa was still sitting by that tree, her face in her arms and my heart tugged a little to go towards her. But I had already made up my mind. I wasn't staying any longer.

"Just where are you goi—"

"Tell everyone I'm sorry, please Near."

He just turned his eyes to slits and watched as I got into the red Chevy. The car was small and Matt was the only one in it. His friends had been driving a large van and were about a mile up the road.

Just before I shut the door to the passenger's side I heard Near's voice loud and clear, "You're not sorry, Mello."

He was wrong…I was sorry. He…was wrong…

XxX

So, if I had thought that the car ride home with Misa and Light and everyone would have been bad, then I don't really know what I was thinking with getting in the car with the guy I had just recently made out with and wanted to do other horrible things to.

It was weird and I was craving chocolate. I felt so damn out of place.

And I had to spend two hours like this…god kill me.

Matt lit a cigarette and stayed quiet. Until something beeped next to him. He swerved the car and parked on the side of the road, cursing. Instead of anything important like I figured it'd be, he picked up his PSP and started zoning out, pressing buttons like his life depended on it.

We sat there for maybe ten minutes until I sighed heavily and finally spoke up, "Uhm, are we going to keep driving or…?"

"Shhh…" he waved a hand in front of my face, silencing me.

I crossed my arms on my chest and waited a few more minutes. When it was apparent that he wasn't going to stop playing for a long while, I reached over the seat and grabbed it out of his hands. His eyes went wild, searching his hands that had just been holding the game station. Gloves flexed and then he turned to me.

"Dude. I seriously need that back." He sounded so fucking staid too.

I held the game out the window and said, "Start driving or I'm dropping it."

The bad thing for him was that we were on a hillside. The game would have fallen and probably never would have been found if I did drop it.

"Why the hell did I bring you along…?" he grumbled, starting the engine once again. He rolled onto the cement and I brought the game back into the vehicle.

"Don't ask me. I don't have a fucking clue," I told him, setting the game on my lap.

I saw him eye it quickly then he lit another cigarette. "Well obviously it's because you're sexy as all hell." My eyes went wide and I coughed loudly. He started laughing, "Were you expecting something else?"

Clearing my throat I shook my head. "I just wasn't…expecting that…"

He couldn't be serious, right? He was totally just fucking with me…

"First night I saw you I couldn't stop thinking about you, it was pretty fucking bad."

I would have told him it was the same for me but…I didn't.

He started talking again, so I just listened. "And then I saw you smoking and my addiction kind of took over. I know you probably think I'm just an asshole, and I guess I wouldn't tell you otherwise. I have a complex personality." Yeah, no fucking kidding. "But anyways. I just really wanted to see you more than a few days."

So…his motive for following me around and being a total dickhead to me was because…he thought I was sexy. I guess that was better than him doing it because he thought it was fun or something…

"And it's funny as hell to fuck with you. You get so mad, it's cute as shit," he laughed, blowing smoke out through every hole on his face.

"You're so lucky you're driving right now…" I probably would have punched him again if he wasn't.

He just grinned at me. "I rest my case."

The rest of the ride was spent talking a little, exchanging stories about how we made it to the cabins and who we went with. I told him about my friends, even though he kind of already knew Misa. I told him the reason I was so mad in the first place.

He mentioned a few things about his friends, but never went into much detail. Maybe they weren't as important to him as mine were to me. Though, thinking about it just made my stomach churn. If they were so important to me I would have stayed and tried to help.

Even though the time went by kind of slowly, we arrived at our destination pretty quickly. Matt opened his door first and I just kind of stayed in the car. I felt…really weird again. Sure the ride hadn't been terrible but now I was at a stranger's house with a bag of my belongings and I was an hour away from my home. I was starting to have a lot of second thoughts about leaving with the redhead.

"You coming or not?" Matt asked, grabbing both of our bags from the trunk.

It wasn't like I had a choice in the matter. I had already made my decision.

So I got out of the car and joined him, staying at least a few feet away so that I wouldn't be in his way and I could follow him easier.

I noticed that we were at an apartment, almost like my own but these were a lot smaller, most likely for the very lowest of the economy. I kind of figured Matt didn't have a huge mansion or anything, it's not like it really bothered me. I had lived in an apartment myself for years now.

We ascended a staircase and ended up at a few doors, he opened one of the closets ones and I followed behind him through the door. The first thing I noticed was the smell of cigarettes, which didn't surprise me. Besides for that it didn't smell horrible, just…like stale smoke. He flipped a few lights on and I realized that it wasn't terribly messy like I thought it'd be. My own being a lot tidier, the place did seem a bit awry.

There was a large sofa in the living room, a small kitchen and one or two rooms back further into the apartment. It was just about the same size as mine.

Matt threw his bag on top of mine then walked over towards me, closing the door behind me. I had to move a little to get out of his way and then he was in front of me, cornering me with the door being closed.

For maybe the…I don't know, twentieth time today, he reached for a cigarette and lit one. I bit my lip and looked at the floor.

"So…what now?" he asked me, blowing smoke into my face.

I coughed a little and waved a hand to dissipate the smoke. "I don't fucking know…you're the one who brought me here…"

"You're so damn edgy. Calm down, Mello. I'm not going to hurt you."

I sighed and used a palm to push him away from me. He didn't move much but it was enough for me to weasel out of his trap. "Do you have any chocolate?"

"Why? You on your period?"

I narrowed my eyes and started looking through his kitchen. He came up behind me and reached into a cupboard, pulling out a Hershey bar. I instantly grabbed it and started eating. He laughed, "Chocoholic, huh?"

I glared and he smiled then turned around to walk into the living room, up to what looked like a cage with something in it. I followed him out of curiosity and realized that he had some kind of animal.

He stuck his hand in the cage and pulled out a large…snake.

Holy shit. I hated snakes.

"Mello, meet Stripy."

My mouth hung open a little and I stared at him and the stupid animal in dumb shock. "What…a unique name…"

"I got him when I was like, eight. Get off my back." He held the snake up to his face and rubbed his nose to the snakes. God, what the hell had I gotten myself in to…? "Wanna watch me feed him?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at me. The serpent stuck its tongue out and I did too.

"Hell no, I don't."

"Does Stripy scare you, Mello?" Matt asked in a mocking tone.

I sighed and sat on the couch, munching on chocolate. "No, I just don't like snakes."

He turned away from me and said, "Well. Stripy doesn't like you either." He was trying to sound offended.

"Would you stop saying that dumbass name? You sound like a fucking two year old." I crossed my legs and let my arm hang across the back of the couch.

Matt's footsteps came up behind me and before I knew it he stuck the snakes head right next to mine. I screamed and was about to hit the thing but he moved it before I could. "Mello's scared of a little snakey!" he sang, dancing around with the reptile.

I turned and glowered at him. "Do that again and I will kill you and that thing in your sleep!"

The redhead just smiled and placed the snake back into its cage. "Oh come on, Mello Yellow. I was just having some fun."

Great. Another nickname. Just what I needed.

I spoke before he could say something stupid again. "Why don't you live with your parents?"

Matt became a bit more serious and rounded the couch to sit beside me. "They died a long time ago."

Wow. Well, I suddenly felt bad for him. But…everyone had issues. My parents were practically dead too. "I'm sorry."

He just shrugged and used one of the many ashtrays to stub out his cigarette. "It's not a big deal. I was like…twelve."

My mouth almost moved without my consent but I didn't say anything else. I wanted to tell him that I had been the same age when mine pretty much died too, but…what did it matter? I hadn't even told my other friends much about that subject. Why should I tell this random guy I had just met…?

"But anyways!" he sat up and lit another cigarette. "What do you want to do, Mello?"

Well, he sure moved on quickly. "Didn't you just ask me that?"

"No. I asked, 'what now?' not what you wanted to do," he said, smirking.

Sighing I told him, "It's the same damn thing, idiot."

He leaned forward, getting close to me once again. "Awe, that hurts, Mello."

I pushed him away again. "You reek of cigarettes."

"Are you saying I should shower?" he asked, laughing a little.

"I'm saying you reek."

"So I should shower?"

"Or stay away from me, yes."

"Come shower with me."

I reeled back and looked into those goggles. "Maybe when hell freezes over."

Matt smirked and leaned back again, ashing his cig and then walking back around to the other side of the couch. "Fine! Stripy will shower with me, won't you buddy?"

I literally did a face palm. Something was wrong with this guy. And something was even more wrong with me because I had agreed to stay with him…