Chapter 3

Bang Bang You're Dead


"Venus is the planet most like Hell."

-Carl Sagan


He was not far from my favorite watering hole, tending a campfire with no tent. Once more, he knew I was present without even looking up.

"'Nothing is true; everything is permitted'," he said. I blinked.

"Excuse me?"

He looked at me over his shoulder.

"This is the phrase you utter to the hero every time you leave, though you say it in another tongue. Nihil verum, omnia licita."

"Nihil versus, omnia licita."

"Yes, you'll have to forgive me. My latin is a bit rusty."

"Why are you telling me these things?" I asked.

"Just to remind you that I know everything about you. I heard one of his fairies asked you about it."

There was a pause. The man looked up at the sky for a moment while poking at his fire.

"I do feel badly for that fairy. He has skeletons just like you."

"Is that right?"

"Well, maybe not just like you. His lover and child were not killed while he was away."

My gaze changed to a glare almost immediately.

"Watch it. Speak ill of my wife or boy and you'll be tending that fire with your tongue."

"I had no intention of speaking ill of them, Canis. Just wondering about them."

There was another brief pause. He looked over his shoulder at me again. "How did you find out?"

"I learned in a letter shortly before..."

"...before you took another life?"

I said nothing. The strange man took to the fire once more.

"Do you have an answer for the question I left you with yet? I would love to hear it. Why didn't you continue your attack?"

This again! I did my best to hide my irritation, but my best wasn't so good as of late.

"I was too weak from my curse. If I couldn't defeat him as a human, there was no chance in this form."

"It was a matter of strength?"

"It was a matter of lack of strength. Give me a sword over a powerful jaw any day."

The strange man looked out at the landscape.

"That's not the right answer."

"Who are you?" I blurted out. The man stood up and started kicking dirt over the campfire.

"We'll discuss the correct answer another time. Farewell, Canis."

I watched him disappear into the woods for a few moments, and then sighed through my nostrils. In some ways, he reminded me of our former Mentor... Al Mualim. He spoke in circles; in riddles... but there was always an underlying meaning to what he said.

I wasn't sure this man had underlying meaning at all. It disturbed me that he knew so much of my life; of my past... and I knew not even his name. He certainly had some sort of power; some magic in him. The Lost Woods would reject anyone that wasn't a forest nymph, a permitted human, or an animal. The Great Deku Tree, the diety of the forest Kokiri was dead. Without him, no new average human enters these woods. That man certainly had some sort of power.

I was disturbed even further when I finally turned back to the watering hole, only to find the campfire the man was tending gone... gone as if it was never there.

I had to let it go, as I needed to stay focused for what I planned to do today. The next cache I decided to hit was in Hyrule Castle Town's remains. (There are many more than the ones I actually went after- some are known only by a handful of Assassins).

The next cache was down the remains of an alleyway in the dead town... and this town was swarming with redeads. I did not know if these redeads would ignore me like those guarding Assassin caches. The redeads in town were controlled by Ganondorf, and though I remained immortal, the thought of a corpse biting my neck made me nauseous.

Redeads aren't actually corpses (most aren't; some used to be people that either tried to enter the Void, or are people that were killed by other redeads). Most are simply made by magic. Actually becoming a redead by bite is difficult (impossible for animals), because whatever turns you travels by bloodstream, and redeads usually never stop until all the blood is gone.

Even if they do stop early, the curse is nothing a healing fairy or sacred object wouldn't fix.

Many fear redeads with good reason. They are almost never seen in Hyrule Field, and they are almost never "wild"- random wandering corpses. Nearly all redeads have some kind of mission, and those in the remains of Castle Town are there to kill any man that attempts to enter.

I was uncomfortable going to Castle Town for another reason, though. It was where our attempt on Ganondorf's life occurred. Back then, he was a "Thane" of Hyrule Castle Town. I didn't draw an ounce of hatred for the man from his "Thane" status; I hate all Thanes equally. All they are are people overeager to put their tongue to the ruler's boot.

He was a Thane of Castle Town (an ass kisser, basically). He swore allegiance to the Templar Crown (The Hylian Crown is Templar-Backed), but really, he just wanted to get close enough to the King to drive a knife in his back. During his time in Castle Town, my partners and I tried hard to force him to flee; to make him give up his dreams of power. I was a fool to give him a chance, but the chance at life was ordered by our former mentor, and so I had to go with it.

Of course, Ganondorf was too stubborn to give up without a fight. We torched his hotel rooms, left knives near his beds, beat those that supported him, and even poisoned the wine of his second in command (someone dropped the poisoned wine before she drank it, though. Nabooru's death would've shaken Ganondorf up for sure).

None of our attempts worked, so we attacked. The entire sword fight lasted for what felt like an eternity.

Deimos was killed by a swift counter-attack. He went to slice at the evil Gerudo's back, but the man whirled around quickly, blocked the attack, kicked his legs from under him, and drove his sword through his heart.

Sanford lasted a bit longer, and he often liked to attack with a metal hook attacked to a rope, pulling skin from his enemies.

He threw his hook, Ganondorf caught it, pulled him forward, and drove his sword through his throat.

In my final moments of battle, I used my hidden blade- a small concealed weapon on the wrist, after he knocked my sword from my grasp. My attack surprised him enough to make him drop his weapon, and he caught my wrist as I tried to drive the blade into his neck.

What occurred was a battle of wills. I pushed down with all my might, and he pushed up with all his. I don't know how I succeeded, but I managed to cut him... however my aim was off. Had I been a little lower, I could've cut his neck and he would have bled out, but I was too high. Instead of killing him, I left him with a nasty scar on his cheek. It was after my failed attack that he cursed me and drove me out of town.

As I thought of our shortcomings, I walked into Castle Town, and it was a wreck. Every time you get too close to the former town, the sky darkens... and the closer you get to Ganondorf's Castle (the coward's castle is surrounded by lava and has no bridge), the darker the sky becomes. I did not understand just why Ganondorf wanted power so badly if he was only going to try and kill everybody. Who would he rule over, animals? Trees? The dead don't make good subjects.

As I wandered through town (staying low and out of sight), I scowled. Many buildings were boarded up, and they probably contained more redeads. Decorative trees that were beautiful seven years ago were now blackened hunks of wood with no signs of life. I was sure the only heartbeat in the town itself was my own. No spiders or rats even wanted homes here... but I was sure the cache I was after had some type of defense.

My irritation with Ganondorf only increased when I looked around and saw half-complete repairs to some buildings, and they looked recent. The brash fool ran everybody out of Castle Town and destroyed the buildings, and then some time later decided that having nobody nearby to torment was no fun. Seeing these 'renovations" only depressed me.

I was defeated by this idiot.

I had to stop walking in the alleyway and I stood still. Not far ahead of me was a redead... and not far beyond it was the entrance to the weapons cache. In order to reach it, I'd have to deal with the redead... or I could go around and risk all the others.

I didn't want to risk several more (I'm not a fool), so I got as close to the redead as I could without being noticed... but unfortunately it moved its head slightly to acknowledge my presence when I was still out of striking distance. It wouldn't become hostile until I got close enough (redeads don't like moving around so much). I decided to weigh my options: I could try to run past the creature and risk being attacked (redeads let out an ear piercing scream when prey gets too close, and not only can that scream cause paralysis, it can also draw the attention of other redeads), I could engage it early and see if I couldn't kill it quickly, or I could leave and try to go around... and again, I had no intention of going back around.

It was for the Hero, I decided. There was no getting past without a fight, so I ran as quickly as I could into the redead, managing to knock it to one side. Before it managed to make a peep or even turn its head to look at me, I had it by the throat. With my teeth firmly in the creature's windpipe (it tasted disgusting), I shook it by the neck as hard as I could.

Once I was sure it was dead, I trotted up to the entrance to the cache, and I rammed my body into the door until it opened.

T.T

From your first day of training with the Assassins, you are told time and time again to never carry pictures of living family with you; never carry anything that can identify one you love... and never see the ones you love. Every Assassin makes many enemies, but by carrying nothing to identify your loved ones, your enemy has no leverage on you. That's the idea.

Very few Assassins employ this technique (Altaïr was the only Assassin I could think of that wouldn't carry pictures, jewlery, or even a quill that belonged to family or friends... but that's because most of Altaïr's family and friends hated him). I carried a picture of my wife that I had painted a year before my child was born. I thought she was safe overseas... but then Ganondorf killed her a year later, and now I can carry her picture with me and not worry.

I bring this rule up for a reason- you want leverage on your enemy, you don't want your enemy to have leverage on you. When I started wandering the halls, I was attacked by the doppleganger for the first time. It vanished too quickly for me to see who it was.

The attack left a nasty gash on my rear left leg, but I ignored it and kept moving. As I walked, I kept an eye out for hostiles, but the floor kept fascinating me.

This particular weapons cache had a few footprints in the sand all over the floor. These prints were very old; probably from seven years ago during the attack. No weather reached this cache (it hasn't rained in Castle Town since that day seven years ago, so no water leaks in), and so these prints would stay in the sand indefinitely.

I took this as a mark on history (the thought amused me). Here were the footprints of a few Assassins, their names forgotten but that they walked here not. My paws would now be beside them. My name might one day be forgotten, but if rain never falls again, that I was here would not be.

I tried to keep a lookout for my attacker, but all was silent for a few moments. I continued following the sandy corridor, alert to any sounds and any traps.

It was good I was focusing again, because I managed to look up and dive to one side a moment before a steel mace would've swung from the ceiling into my skull. Keep in mind that I am a wolf, and once I shook off the close call, I began to wonder... if that trap nearly took my head off, where was it exactly meant to hit a human male?

For one of the first times, I thanked Ganondorf's curse (I thanked it once before when it allowed me to scratch a spot I was never able to reach as a human).

Again I was struck from behind (this time, the attack sent me rolling to one side, but didn't break my skin). I righted myself as fast as I could, but whoever was attacking me seemed to know my every move before I made it. One of my weaknesses was that I could become predictable. If this enemy has been watching me somehow, then how I handle myself in defense could be compromised. It's not leverage on family, but it's leverage born of my own foolish mistakes. Everybody ignores a few things the Assassins teach, and I ignored one of the more important things.

I'm predictable. I don't vary my attacks so much. If this unseen enemy knew exactly how to hit me and escape before I could notice him, then there's a problem.

Dopplegangers take after their originals in skill and memory. I felt like I knew whoever this was, and I had a bad feeling.

I didn't let my bad feeling get in the way of my search, though. We'd get nothing done if we stopped whenever we felt uncomfortable. Sometimes you have to tough it out.

Still, brash actions don't make brave men. Smart thinking makes a brave man, or in this case, beast. I thought of how one of my brothers would act in this situation, and I did as I thought he would do. Where I would focus my attention ahead of me, this brother (who shall remain anonymous) focused before him and behind him with two senses- One sense was employed to guide him forth, and another (hearing) was focused on unusual sounds- not the sound of his own feet pattering through the sand.

So, when the doppleganger tried to strike me for the third time, I was able to actually hear his approach. Again, I ignored what I would usually do (dive to the side), and I whirled my body around violently, managing to counter the attack and make my attacker recoil.

I was facing him in a second, and I faltered for a moment at the sight of my former mentor- the betrayer of the Assassins.

"Al Mualim!" I tried to say, but all that escaped my jaws was a bark. The doppleganger said nothing back to me (most dopplegangers have no voice), and vanished. I did not defeat him; he just knew he was found and attacking me now wouldn't work. It was typical Al Mualim. When he fought Altaïr (The story gets around), he kept trying to get the drop on him- he tried to distract him, tried to bind him, tried to disarm him, and tried to sneak up on him. Assassins are not trained to fight fair; they are trained to win. However, it is difficult to have that saying used against you and not be annoyed.

I didn't have to wander far before I was in the armory itself, and it was there that Al Mualim's statue resided. The head of the statue was gone, and I don't know if it was from man or weather. Either way, he did not deserve a likeness here.

I heard quick steps behind me and thought quickly again. Rather than do as I did previously, I did as I typically did- I dove to the side. When I got through the attack unharmed and even managed a quick scrape on the doppleganger's side, I knew that it would be just as much a psychological battle as it would be a battle of physical capabilities.

Al Mualim did not try to escape again. This time, he stayed to fight. The man was known for his quick, accurate slices in open battle, and he was a quick thinker. If this doppleganger was anywhere near what Al Mualim was in strength, he would do everything in his power to win this fight.

I was severely limited in this battle, considering I was now a beast and only had so many ways to attack my enemy. I could very easily be put on the defensive, but that didn't mean I was entirely helpless. I had a few ways in mind to counterattack.

For a few minutes, all we did was circle one another. We stared each other down, each trying to calculate the other's mindset. One of us would have to break the silence soon, so I decided to try and coax him into attacking me.

I never stopped circling, but I started trotting along even faster, making it seem like I was going on the attack. I feigned charging in at Al Mualim and he began to charge in to meet me, but quickly realized his mistake and stopped.

As he slowed himself in an attempt to correct his mistake, I made a mistake myself. I charged him, trying to hurt him again, and he swiftly countered- he pivoted to one side and his blade met my right side as I passed. The only blood that hit the floor yet was my own, but this was not the end.

Al Mualim tried to get another swift attack in before I could right myself, but as he got closer, I whirled my body around as fast as I could, managing to knock his sword out of his grip, at the cost of another wound to my side. He didn't bother going after his weapon, and I saw a blade on his wrist. He expected me to lunge at him, but I had another idea.

Rather than run towards him, I ran to his sword- away from him. He retracted the hidden blade and cautiously closed the gap I made. I picked up his sword with my jaws and hurled it at him, intending only to make him recoil.

I succeeded, and before he could right himself, I through my body into his. My jaws snapped down on his neck, and in a moment it would be over...

...but there was a sharp pain in my neck. My eyes widened and I rolled them a bit to see which had stabbed me- his sword or his hidden blade. My grip on his neck weakened and I was unable to kill him.

He ripped his blade out of my neck and kicked me off of his body. I was greatly weakened by the injuries (that my bleeding did not stop yet bothered me), and so when I hit the floor I was motionless. Al Mualim picked up his sword and approached my still form, and he drove his blade through my chest.

I thought I would die from the wound, but Ganondorf's curse remained. I reasoned that I was still bleeding because it was weakening, but I was not dead because it was still present. Even so, I played dead (I even held my breath for good measure).

The doppleganger turned away from my body and started walking towards the statue (I assume that would be where it returns if it defeats a threat). Once I was sure it could not hear me, I slowly stood up and silently closed the distance between us. I had to be swift and silent- if I was too slow, Al Mualim would make it to the statue, and then probably figure out that I wasn't dead. If I was too swift, he would hear me and the battle would continue.

When I got close enough, I leapt from behind, latched onto his neck, and squeezed tight until the struggling stopped.

As I said, I'm not trained to fight fair. Once I was sure he was dead, I released him.

"If only the metallic taste in my mouth was that of the original," I said as the doppleganger vanished. My wounds throbbed and continued to bleed; my body was weak, but I had to proceed. I looked around the armory for better armor, and I was not disappointed.

The dark armor I found was Assassin Quies, for Assassins of the seven rank. In Hyrule, the armor comes with a protective collar, useful against Redeads and other such monsters. The armor is not indestructable, but it makes Assassin Lepidus look like clay. I gathered the pieces of armor and proceeded to the exit. The whole time I wandered the catacombs, I only felt weaker and weaker. My wounds remained; with my curse at full strength, they would be long gone by now.

Simply walking became a chore, but I could not pass out in the catacombs (I could only hope I'd find myself in the field if I were to faint. There's something about an unconscious being that redeads find fascinating).

The exit from the catacombs took longer to reach because, thankfully, it was outside Castle Town. I imagine it was constructed in such a way so the odds of a cache being compromised was lessened. Many entryways with the Assassin Symbol on it dot the landscape, but only so many actually lead to caches. Others are just decoys. If you run into so many decorations, why suspect any other?

When I finally found my way out of the catacombs, several hours had passed. At this point, my weakness only got greater, and I desperately needed to rest. However, I was walking on in almost a trance. If I was all there, I would've known to stay low and silent as I left Kakariko Village (the cache exited through the graveyard). However, I wasn't in the frame of mind to make the best decisions, and so I started wandering the village with little to no concern for who was around me. Very few were out now, but those that saw me put as much distance between themselves and I as possible. As I walked through the village, I found myself sinking lower and lower to the ground. My injuries combined with wandering catacombs carrying armor I was not meant to wear took it out of me.

I fought it with all I had, but it was no use. I couldn't go any further without stopping to rest. I fell onto my side and lost consciousness relatively quickly.

M.M

I wasn't sure how long I was asleep for. My weakness was gone, and I was back to my full strength (albeit very dizzy from my fainting spell). I wasn't carrying the armor anymore and I surrounded by hay. I was in a barn or something, and I was bound to the wall by a chain attached to my left front paw. My wounds were bandaged (they were fading when I passed out, and were likely gone by now). The armor I'd fought so hard for was missing. For a moment I thought I had been robbed, and now whoever was robbing me was trying to domesticate me.

There were no horses in this barn (it wasn't the type), and... no animals at all, really. I imagined that the owner took all the animals out in case I woke up hungry. I wake up hungry very often, and though I wouldn't harm a farm owner's animals (as if I could), I understood the concern.

I didn't bother fighting the chain on my paw because I'm not an idiot. What, was I going to chew through it? At the moment I was immortal, but I was certainly far from super-strength. (If I had super-strength, I would've done a lot more than leave Ganondorf with a scar on his cheek).

I was waiting for another 45 minutes in the barn on my side (I was enjoying what comfort I actually had), but I was getting restless. I didn't know if the Hero was done with his errand yet (it turned out he wasn't even close), I wanted to know where the armor went, and I wanted to get back to the woods. Every so often I would tug gently at the chain to check for signs of metal fatigue, but other than that I was still.

When she finally walked in, I recognized her almost immediately. Her name was Anju. She was my wife's neighbor's daughter almost twenty years ago. She looked to be in her mid-20's now. Though she put up a brave front, I could smell the fear on her person. I wondered what made her bother to help me for a moment, but I figured out that she had a love for animals once I caught her scent.

She had a lot of cuckoos, and an allergy to them as well... but she wouldn't let them go. I don't know how she got them out of this barn I was now in, but... she did.

When she was sure I wasn't going to attack her, she got a bit closer (not close enough for me to hurt her, which I wouldn't, and not close enough for her to pet me, which she would). She smiled gently and put her hands on her knees.

"Hi," she said softly. I blinked in response. She took my silence as a sign to proceed and kept speaking.

"How are you feeling, boy? You're certainly a fighter... those wounds weren't looking good."

She took a step closer and kept smiling, every so often breaking eye contact with me (many beasts consider constant eye-contact a challenge).

"Those wounds should have killed you."

I didn't offer much in response. I simply layed still, as I thought she would expect me to. She got a little closer, but still made sure there was distance between us.

I don't blame her. There are stories on both sides of the spectrum in regards to wolves. On one hand, they are portrayed as mindless killers that want only food and death, and on the other hand, people think they are big puppy dogs that would sooner run up and lick their faces than attack them. Neither of these depictions are accurate. A wolf won't attack a man unless hunger has it absolutely insane, and it won't show affection for a human unless it sees that human often enough to know it isn't a threat.

Still, the stories dwarf the truth. She saw me as a killing machine (I technically was trained as one; making people dead was one of the things I did best)... and yet her love for animals clouded her better judgement, and for whatever reason, she decided on aiding me.

"Sam, our guard, wanted me to let him finish you. He doubted that you would survive... but your wounds weren't bleeding much, so I thought that if you survived the initial attacks, you'd have a chance."

Well, I'll be... Finley is still alive. He was a double agent the Assassins planted in the Templars in Hyrule, and a friend of mine. His alias was Sam Axe (I guess he stuck to it), but his real name is Chuck Finley. He saved my life more than once... and today, yesterday, last Tuesday... whenever I passed out, he wanted to end it.

She saw the look on my face change at the mention of my old friend, but she misinterpreted it.
"Don't worry, I talked him out of it, but he insisted on the chain. Sorry, boy."

I didn't offer much else in response. Instead, my eyes wandered to the now open barn door, and I could see my armor organized neatly by some bloody rags. I loosened up, relieved that my hard work wasn't gone. Anju glanced over her shoulder at what I was looking at, and then she looked back at me.

"You're a strange beast... carrying the armor of a man, intelligence in your eyes, enduring a wound to your very heart... you know who you are, don't you?"

My eyes wandered to her, and she continued.

"Most wild beasts are not conscious; only the brightest are. Most are puppets of nature, but looking at you, I can see otherwise."

There was another pause, and now I was aware of her hand rubbing my side.

"You're on a mission, aren't you? Why else carry the armor of a man? Instinct doesn't demand such action. You're on a mission, and be it of God's command, of an experience with death, or your own volition, you want to do something."

I was silently agreeing by letting her rub my side. It was starting to feel nice, and I had to resist my urge to roll onto my back.

"I was going to keep you here as the town pet, but... I won't keep you any longer than I have to. As soon as you can stand again, I'll set you free."

I let her take my paw in her hand and she unlocked the chain that bound me. I didn't get up (I was still woozy from passing out).

"I'm going to run inside and get something so I can change your bandages, and then I'll give you a bite to eat and you can leave. Sam doesn't know, so mum's the word!"

I brought my head up and licked her hand in response.

With that, she left the barn and went inside to get food and bandages. I didn't feel my wounds anymore, so I figured them to be gone. She was reasonably surprised once my mortal injuries were gone beneath the old bandages. It was as if I was never hurt in the first place. She looked at my face and then back at my body, but chose not to say anything. I was already a strange animal- wolves, beyond all characterizations, are wild beasts. A wolf won't attack a man unless hunger has it crazy, but that's not to say it won't attack anybody that walks up close and sticks a hand out. She probably understood that I was unique among animals as it was, and so my remarkable healing abilities should go un-questioned.

Either that, or she figured that asking me why my wounds disappeared would yield no response.

She gave me a piece of steak (another piece of meat in less than a month? I'm being spoiled), and unlocked my shackle before backing up a little, in case I was some evil monster waiting to be freed.

I showed her I wasn't by stepping forward and eating the meat. She left me to it, and left the barn door ajar for me to exit. While she left, I eyed her; watched where she walked and what house she currently lived in. Once I was done, I'd gather some flowers and leave them at her porch as my way of saying thank you.

I thought it would be cute if she mistook the flowers on her doorstep as a gift from Chuck, but the pawprints in the dirt road away from her door and out of town would disprove such a theory.

With new found energy I ran with armor in tow, and I made it back to the forest in better time than I could've hoped for in my injured state. The hero would likely be finishing up his errands now, or at least be getting close (the boy usually shows up with one or two new weapons or other devices, but he doesn't go crazy so I know he isn't big on looting).

Life returned to my eyes when I got back into the woods. My injuries were gone, my trip was successful, and I had a full belly.

I had 99 problems, but hunger was not one of them.

End of Chapter


5,486 words.

Sorry for the delay. I've been reading five several-hundred page novels for summer school, each over the span of a few days- I've read Rabbit, Run, An Arsonist's Guide to Writers Homes in New England, The Crying of Lot 49, Erasure, and now I'm working on Blood Meridian. The second and fourth novels are pretty good, the first wasn't great, and the third and fifth suck in every way, shape, and form.

I am almost done with the first of two summer sessions. Next I will be going back for Algebra II. Expect delays on updates, and tonight we'll be looking at an 80% chance of rain. Tune in later for our five-day forecast.

Next chapter is covering the armor to the Spirit Temple- one of my favorites in Ocarina of Time.