Author's Note: Another product of 3 am writing for you folks. :) On a side note: This one was six pages in OpenOffice. :)
Warning: There are some...difficult things discussed in this chapter. If you are sensitive to that type of stuff, I would suggest you skip over the last part.
Dislcaimer: I own nothing. Ipod belongs to Apple, Miss Me Baby belongs to whoever owns it, and everything else for mentioned in here belongs to it's rightful owner.
Memories
I sighed as I climbed down the bus steps, putting in my headphones for my iPod, grateful to have it for days like today. I knew it was going to be a long one. I hadn't slept much, thanks to what sounded like a mass murder going on above my bed. I yawned, pressing the next button, skipping Miss Me Baby by Cris Cagle. I was in no mood to listen to a sweet, love sick song. Why is it, when you're single, that all you see are couples together, looking all cute and shit? I made a face of disgust as I passed by a bench where a couple sat, looking lovingly into each others. I gagged slightly, and walked faster. I didn't happen to notice, in my hurry, that the light had turned green, and the sign said not to walk. A sudden screech pulled my attention back to the crosswalk, making me look and freeze, mid step, staring at the blue sedan that was suddenly heading towards me. Quickly shutting my eyes, just stop, I prayed. Don't kill me. When a few minutes passed, and no other sound came towards me, I peeked one eye open, to see that it had stopped not two inches from my leg. The driver, a female, who looked about my mom's age, quickly jumped out, rushing to my side.
"Oh my! Are you alright, dear? I didn't see you there!" She asked, placing a hand on my arm.
"Yeah, fine. Sorry, I didn't notice that the light had turned green." I half smiled.
"No harm, no foul. Are you sure you're okay?" She asked, hesitantly. I simply nodded, too grateful to speak. "Well, okay." She patted my arm. "Be careful." She warned, climbing back into her car. I nodded again, quickly running to other sidewalk, my heart racing. "Do you need a ride, dear?" she called, pulling up beside me.
"Naw." I shook my head. "I'm just going over there." I pointed two places down, at my school.
"Okay, just thought I'd offer." She smiled, then quickly rolled up her window and sped off. I sighed, and turned back the way I was going and headed on, blaring my iPod. It hurt, but it was the only way I could keep the thoughts about death out. I didn't like them. They were depressing, and brought back unwanted memories. I walked up the steps as I turned my iPod off, shoving in my bag, remembering the rule about no iPods. How gay is that? I can't even listen to music, even though it helped me think. At least I was a good kid, I had seen some kids get in so much trouble just for having an iPod...and a record. Only 210 days left, kid. You can survive that much, can't you? Yes, you can. I thought to myself, and reached to open the door, only to realize it was open. I looked up, confused, only to see Jeremy, a natural nerd, but cute, boy from my Trig class, holding it for me.
"Thanks." I smiled, walking through.
"No problem." He smiled back in response, making me blush. "How did you think you did on the test, Friday?" He asked, keeping pace with me.
"Ugh. Probably failed. I suck at it." I moaned slightly, remembering it. I had been making nothing higher than a C in that class all year. I had a bad tendency of not doing work. It wasn't that I wasn't smart, just that I couldn't care less. After sophomore year, when I found out I probably wouldn't be going to college, I pretty much gave up on getting good grades. But Trig really got me, because I actually tried, paying attention in class and doing my work, and still failed.
"I could tutor you, if you want." He offered, once we reached my locker.
"You would do that?" I asked, surprised, as I put in my code.
"Yeah, I mean, if you want. I know you have a hard time, seeing as Mr. Mackey is a sub and obviously doesn't know where his left hand is, let alone Trig." He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck, obviously nervous, as I grabbed my books.
"That'd be great, Jeremy. When would you wanna get together and do it?" I asked, shutting my locker, as a football player walked by, causing him to stop.
"Wait, wait." He said, looking between us. "You are," he looked at me, "sleeping with this joke?" he motioned towards Jeremy with his thumb.
I sighed, rolling my eyes. "No, he's going to tutor me in Trig."
He laughed. "Sure sure." he turned to walk away, buy paused, looking over his shoulder and called out "Congrats on finally getting laid, Germy!" he laughed harder, disappearing around the corner.
"Sorry about that." I apologized, looking up at Jeremy. Why were all these fucking men so tall?! Do they feed them steroids or something? Or am I just really short? Hrm. Probably both. I was only 5'4'' after all.
"Don't worry, it's cool. He's a douche." He shrugged, as we started walking again. "How about Friday's? At 7?"
"Sorry, no can do." I shook my hair as I pulled the hairbow out, pulling it around my face as we sat down at our normal seats in Chemistry, a subject I was actually okay at. He was obviously trying to make this into a date sort of thing, I knew that much. He was okay, and it was cute he was trying, but I really don't feel like a boyfriend right now.
"Okayy...." He paused, thinking. "Can you do Tuesday at 5?" I was about to answer, but the bell rang, so I just nodded. He quickly wrote something down on a piece of paper, and lifted so I could see it. 'sounds good to me' I read, then laughed softly, giving him a thumbs up. He laughed as well, not as softly, causing Mr. Mackey to send him a look, which quickly turned evil when he saw he was talking to me. I barely noticed it, before I turned back to the front, opening my notebook.
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Mary never showed up that night to pick me up for work, forcing me to walk. At least she could have called, I thought bitterly as I walked the mile between my apartment and work. Then, I could have rode the bus. Though, she didn't seem like the type to just abandon me with no ride unless it was necessary. But she still could have called. I wouldn't have minded as much if she had just called. But, a little voice in the back of my head popped up, something could have happened. Anything, really. A wreck, a fire, anything. Maybe the reason she didn't call because she couldn't, not that she didn't want too. Yeah, that had to be it. She couldn't be mad at me, could she? I thought back to last night. I just said I didn't know her brother enough to have an affair with him. Maybe she saw that as a sign that if I got to know him, I would do it. But I wouldn't, not to a married man, let alone a man with a family. Maybe if he wasn't married, my thoughts drifted off to my fantasy again. But he is, the same small voice called out, calling me back to reality. He's married, and wouldn't want you anyways, the voice continued. Why would he? He's perfect, obviously. And you? You're you. I sighed, knowing I was right. Oh well. I would always have my thoughts, if nothing else. I had been so wrapped up in my thoughts about last night, Mary and Anthony, that I was there before I realized it. I shook off the cold as I stepped into the warm bar, glad to be inside, out of the near negative wind chill.
"Have you seen Mary?" I asked Kristen as I got dressed.
"Nope. Why? Isn't she with you?" She wrinkled her forehead.
"No. She never showed up. Though, I left at like, 5 today, or else I wouldn't have made it here in enough time. I hadn't talked to her, and she usually shows up at 4:49 when she picks me up." I shrugged into the Santa's little helper outfit Mr. King had picked out for us.
"Oh."
"Yeah. I figured something had to have happened. I just hope she's okay." As soon as the words left my mouth, she stepped in, pulling off her coat.
"Sorry, Mr. King. I'm here." She hurriedly walked over to the paper with the line up, moaning when she realized she was up next. "Lovely." She muttered, pulling on her outfit. I was about to go up to her and say hi when Mr King started yelling.
"Cullen! We need you on the floor! There's a bachelor party!"
"Coming!" I yelled, taking another look at Mary, before heading out. She looked okay, but you never know. I sighed internally as I walked up to a table full of men. "What can I get you fellas tonight?" I smiled warmly.
"Four Buds." The middle on called. He looked about 35, with blond hair, I quickly thought after looking him over.
"Coming right up." I don't know how these girls do it. This smiling was killing me.
"Oh and miss?" One of them called out, causing me to turn around.
"Yes?" I asked walking back over to their table.
"When do you go up?" The young boy asked, with a smirk. It was dark, but I could make out his brown hair. Oh. My. God. No way. No. Fucking. Way.
I quickly painted my smile back on my face, and tried to be super cheerful when I responded. "Not tonight, sorry." I winked, walking away. I could hear the cat calls and hooting and hollering coming from that table as I got to the bar.
"Hey Candy, could you take over my table for me?" I asked walking between her and Kristen.
"Sure, why?" She asked, confused.
"I just...know one of those men, and I don't feel comfortable." I muttered, getting the four beers.
"Oh." She took the bottles from me. "Sure."
"Thanks a lot." I smiled at her as she walked towards the table. "Hey, I need to go talk to Steve right quick, kay?" I told Kristen, walking around and out of the bar area. "I'll be right back, promise." I called, walking towards Steve. I tapped him on the shoulder, causing him to jump. "Sorry." I apologized.
"No, no, don't worry about it. I'm glad I saw it was you, or else you'd have a black eye." He laughed.
"Yeah, thanks for noticing it was me. I don't think I'd get too many tips with a black eye."
"Nope. Whatcha need?" He asked, his arms still folded across his chest as he leaned back against the wall.
"You see those guys over there?" I motioned with my head.
"The group of about four guys?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah, what about 'em?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. "Causing trouble?"
"No no, they're okay. But there's a young man out of the group, that I have..." I paused, how do I put this? "not so great history with. I just want to tell you, that way if he does start causing trouble, you can take care of him."
"Ah, okay. I'll keep an eye on him for ya." He nodded.
"Thanks a million, Steve." I smiled.
"No problem." He called as I walked back to the bar.
"What was that about?" Kristen asked as I slipped back beside her, pulling on an apron.
"Oh, I just know one of those guys. He's....not the brightest, to say the least. I was just telling Steve that he might want to keep an eye on him, 'cause I know he likes to cause trouble." I shrugged, still tying the knot.
"Oh."
"Yeah." I nodded, starting to load the dishwasher.
"Cullen! What are you doing back here?! I thought I told you to work the party?!" Mr. King roared, suddenly at the bar.
"I'm sorry, sir. I just don't feel comfortable, cause I have history with one of them." I apologized.
"I don't want to hear it, Candy's two months pregnant. She can't go out there! Who wants to look at a pregnant girl?!" He slammed his fist down on the bar.
"Sorry, sir. I'm going out there now." I apologized again, taking off the apron again, and slipped back around onto the floor.
"Good. Now get out there." He slapped my ass, that jerk! I thought, walking over to where Candy was.
"Sorry for this, I didn't know." I apologized, taking her tray.
"Don't worry hun, only a few do, and that's the way I want it." She patted my shoulder. "Let me guess, he said he didn't care, didn't he?" She asked, reading my face. I just nodded. "He's an ass, obviously. I'm sorry hun." She half hugged me.
"Thanks." I squeezed back. I liked her, she was like the house mother to us girls. Always there to give advice and if we're doing something wrong, tell us how to fix it, instead of just yell, like Mr. King. Here we go, I thought, walking up to the table again. "Are you fellas good? Do I need to get you anything?" I smiled.
"How about a lap dance for my friend here?" The blond asked, holding up a hundred, while patting the brunette's back.
"Okay, a hundred gets you twenty minutes. Would you like a certain girl, or just one in general?" I asked, hesitantly.
"Yeah." The brunette spoke up. "You." He grinned. I gasped in my head. This wasn't going to be awkward, not at all.
"Oh-kay. Right this way." I took the bill and lead him to a small corner where I was told to do lap dances. He sat quickly in the booth, as I breathed, trying to calm myself. You can do this, just remember what Candy taught you. It can't be much harder than the actual pole dancing. I attempted to saunter towards him sexily, and straddled him, throwing my head back. I must have looked like a robot, doing the motions, but with no feeling in them at all. It was my step brother, for fucks sake! This was awkward. Especially after the last time we had been together. I shuttered on the inside as the memory came back to me. It was late, about midnight, that night. I was up, doodling in my notebook, using a small lamp, trying to keep the light from being too bright, but still bright enough for me to use. I was supposed to be in bed, it was a school night. But I was trying to finish this one silly drawing, that I had planned on giving some boy at school for his birthday. I had just turned 16 a few months before that, puberty hitting me like a ton of bricks, making me grow a full three inches and a d cup rack. He had came in, like he normally did, and sat beside me on bed, making small talk. When it got late, I said I was gonna go to bed, would he please leave. He agreed, leaving. But as soon as I turned off the light, he came back in, crawling in bed with me. 'What are you doing?' I whispered fiercely, trying to cover myself. I had taken off my bra and sweat pants, which made it easier to sleep, but left me terribly exposed. 'Shh, you're going to love this.' he whispered, his breath hot in my ear. 'No, what ar-' my words cut off as he placed his hand over my mouth, instantly silencing me. He shoved the other hand down my panties, rubbing my center, pushing his fingers in and out of me, making me grimace in pain. 'Now, I'm going to take my hand off of your mouth, but before I do, I want you to know something. If you scream or tell anyone about this, I'll deny it. And two things are going to happen; they're going to believe their sweet, honest son is innocent, and that you're just making things up to make me look bad and get attention. And even if they do believe you, what are they going to do? They'll call you a slut. They'll say you asked for it. That you wanted me to fuck the shit out of you. Do you really want to be considered an attention whore and a slut?' he asked, laughing slightly. I shook my head no. 'Didn't think so. Damn baby, you're so wet and tight.' He kissed my neck, still shoving his fingers into me, then released my mouth. I gasped, as I realized that it felt good. 'You like that don't you?' He whispered into my neck, shoving his erection between my legs. I shook my head no. 'Don't lie, baby. I know you do. Look how hard you make me.' He rubbed it up and down my thigh. He rolled me on my back, pulling my panties down with one hand, groping my breast with the other. 'Where's Shirley and dad?' I whispered, as he licked at my left nipple. 'Out. Wont be back til the morning.' He grinned up at me, biting down on it. 'Oww!' I yelped out in pain. He pulled away, slapping me across the face. 'Shut up, you fat slut.' I tried to push my knees together, to keep him out, but he wrenched them open, his fingers holding on tight. 'I'm a virgin, please don't!' I cried as I felt him at my entrance. 'Fuck no. A hot piece like you? I've been waiting on this day since I met you.' He leaned down, grabbing a hold of my boobs and he pushed into me, breaking my cherry. 'Damn, bitch. You weren't lying.' He laughed, as he pulled out and pounded back into me. I cried out in pain, tears flowing, causing him to smack me again. 'Shut up! I don't want to hear your whining. I know you love it.' He continued working over me, til finally he cam, sweaty, still on top of me. He leaned down, forcing me to kissing him one last time, before he slipped away, promising to be back soon for some more. I turned on my side, curling into the fetal position, bawling.
"Are you fucking crying?! You're not supposed to be crying!" Henry's voice called me back to reality.
"Sorry." I mumbled, wiping away the tear as I went back to dancing on him.
End Chapter.
Author's Note: What did ya'll think? I'd love reviews. I'm absolute LOVE with this story. I don't know why, but I just am. It's amazing. :) Oh and also: I wrote this with two redish/purple middle fingers. I got them stuck in my garage door earlier, so now they're extremely painful to type with. But, I really wanted to get this out there, so I bared through the pain and wrote this. Review it so I didn't suffer for no reason! :)
xoxoxo
