Equanimity, Chapter 4

Misty was already sick of this!

"I don't want to!" She whined to Daisy, who held firm on her sisters hand, dragging her into the dress store. At least, the millionth one that Misty had been to, and the first one Daisy had gone to since the engagement. Somehow, the blonde managed to weasel out of dress appointments, leaving Misty with all of the decisions—taking pictures, making new appointments. It was a huge clustermuk!

"Misty! I, like, need to find the perfect dress and Lily and Violet are like, working!" Daisy chanted back angrily.

When they were younger, pulling the redhead around was easy enough, but not anymore. Misty was the definition of a fit swimmer now. She was far from the little girl they poked fun at years ago. So, when Misty pulled away, Daisy reefed on her twice as hard to keep her in the store.

"You already have two dresses, Daisy! My gym leader salary can't afford your expensive taste!" Misty yelped, trying to fight her way out of the store like a trapped animal, but Daisy's freshly manicured fingers pressed against Misty's damaged wrist, ripping open for the hundredth time the partially healed wound. With a slight shriek, Misty winced, and Daisy released the young woman, having realized that she hurt Misty, who grabbed at her wrist painstakingly.

"Those are the dresses that you picked out!" Daisy growled.

"Well maybe if you bothered to ever show up, I wouldn't have to buy the ones you liked most in the pictures!"

"Oh, pssh." Daisy rolled her eyes. "Besides, you need a dress for the league party tomorrow!" The oldest sister argued, but then a devious grin flashed over her cheeks.

"Don't you want to look nice for Ash?" Daisy purred, dropping the valley girl accent as they caught several peoples whispers and attention as they argued at the front door of one of the most prestigious and large dress shops in Cerulean City.

Misty went limp, and slightly red at the reminder of the party that was the inauguration of the newest Viridian City Gym Leader. Misty's heart skipped a beat for several reasons. The first was that Ash promised to be her date to the party, the second was that she was thinking of Ash, and the third reason was that Ash promised to be her date, a feat worthy of having two slots on her list. It would be the first league gathering they would attend together as a couple. Their first real event as a couple, well... after the incident in Kalos when they were caught kissing. Steam rose from her cheeks. She could have lost consciousness if she didn't have Daisy to lean on, her face growing flushed while the valley girl smacked her lips together.

"You good?" She cooed to her baby sister, pulling Misty off her arm.

Collecting herself, Misty dusted her hands against her black shorts and straightened her yellow top, sparing a short, flustered glance with her sister.

"Yeah, I'm good." Misty grimaced, feeling a bit pathetic for reacting like such a girl.

If Ash saw her like that, there was no doubt in her mind that he would poke fun at her. 'Jeeze, Misty, why such a red face' he would mock her. Sighing, she cracked her neck to both sides, following Daisy into the isles of countless, bold, white dresses. It wasn't her fault he caused an endless amount of butterfree in her stomach. After all, she spent two weeks worried if they were really dating or not because three days wasn't exactly enough to solidify a new relationship. Then after their last meeting—she was most definitely sure they were dating. Even if it was awkward at first.

Lately, she wasn't sure how to spend her spare time, because most of it was used fantasizing about her boyfriend.

Oh, man, Misty. She thought to herself with a swift face palm. You've got some issues to work out. You better pray Ash never hears that you 'fantasize' anything.

"Like, I want one that makes me look like a princess." Daisy complimented and Misty raised her eyebrows.

"Really, Daisy?" Misty questioned, watching as her sister maneuvered around the shop—she had been in here before, Misty knew, probably countless times to look at dresses. For league parties, events, galleries, carpet events—but never once for her own damn wedding.

"I think you should go for something sleek—curve hugging." Misty offered.

Daisy turned at her sister; "Are you giving me fashion advice?" she asked, feigning amazement. Misty lowered her eyelids and raised her eyebrows aggravatingly.

"Don't be an ass about it." Rolling her eyes, Misty grimanced.

Away from the dresses and lace, Misty found a place in the corner of the room where she slumped onto a bench and crossed one leg over the other. Of course Daisy didn't want her help; getting fashion advice from Misty was like being shot in the foot.

It was not that Misty had poor fashion taste, it was simply that her sisters, even after all of these years, enjoyed poking fun at the 'tomboyish mermaid'. Misty watched with sea-green eyes as a plump woman fitted Daisy to the expensive ballgown section of wedding dresses, and sighed. It wasn't that Misty was not girly. She liked make-up, and dresses, and heels; some days she even wanted her hair to grow out again and get her nails done, Misty was simply practical. She didn't have time to do her hair every morning, and make-up would get runny because of sweat and water at the gym, and long hair was full of dead ends and knots unless she always wore it up. In the end, Misty was a girl, she just didn't want to be girly all of the time; which somehow subjected many people into the belief that she never wanted to be a girly girl. Sure, it wasn't practical in her active life of running a pool and battling pokemon trainers, but some days, on the weekends especially when she would hopefully see Ash, Misty enjoyed dressing up—only, she never had a reason to dress up.

Until now.

For Ash. She swallowed hard, sparing a short glance at Daisy to make sure that she was busy with whatever she was engrossed in before she snaked her pokegear into her fingers where she clicked a few buttons to reveal Ash's name.

"Hey." She text him sheepishly, thinking twice not to send the message that would surely bother the trainer.

With the time change, Kalos was a few hours later than the Kanto region; which would mean that for Ash, it would be just around supper time, while it was only noon where she sat. She closed her eyes. Texting was so uncommon, unfamiliar. She always felt nervous, and weird and anxious when she did it. Half the time he never replied, and the other half of the time his lack of signal glorified that he never received the message. Most of the time her messages were eaten by cyberspace, never to be seen or heard from again—except this time, as she held her phone near her chest with her eyes squeezed shut, a slight buzz brought her attention down and her breath left her body.

Damn it, Misty, get a grip; you're not a school girl! She grilled herself while she glanced down at her phone—seeing his name light up her screen, however, her heart did a flip and her lips burned from memories. Once again, she glanced at Daisy to make sure she wouldn't be seen—as if texting Ash was like passing a note in class—Misty didn't want to be caught doing it.

When she found the courage to open his message, she almost fell over herself: "Hey!" was his reply and she slapped her head.

What was she supposed to say back now? Why was her brain not working? Damn him, damn him straight to- buzzz

"What's up?" he messaged her again, knocking the wind right out of her chest. She screamed inwardly. It wasn't like they weren't already dating. This shouldn't have been that big of a deal! She twisted in her seat, changing her crossed legs and pattered over the small keyboard.

"Shopping with Daisy. What about you?" She replied, questioning if she had replied too quickly or not.

Watching her phone intently, she heaved a large release of breath, calming her nerves. They were just talking, it was nothing to get excited about... except it was! They spent four years apart, and suddenly, now, after that long, talking so easily was just...just... Her eyebrows lowered; why couldn't they have done this before?

"Just finished hosting a tournament." He replied quickly, and for a moment, she wondered if he was as nervous as she was; as unfamiliar with the idea of having someone keep contact so frequently. She exhaled.

"That's awesome, what kind of tournament was it? Are you excited for tomorrow?" She replied to his message, clicking send before she could change her mind. Unlike before, his reply didn't come automatically, and so she spent her time looking around the dress shop to calm her nerves. Was it hot in here? Because she was burning up. She could no longer see Daisy, probably off somewhere trying on dresses and refusing people's opinions. Lily and Violet weren't really busy, they were more sick of shopping for the blonde—Misty simply had more patience, as terrifying as that notion was.

Nearly ten minutes passed and she had finally grown the courage to dance around some of the party dresses in the store; since Ash seemed otherwise occupied with not messaging her back, she busied herself elsewhere. He was busy, probably dealing with the awful media right now; she could only imagine what they were writing now. Thumbing one dress in particular that was sky blue and professional enough to be formal, but fun enough to appear flirty, Misty's mind wondered—what would Ash say if she got dolled up? He rarely saw her dressed up. If ever. The last time she was even slightly dressed nice was on their first date. During their second date, she wore a vest and blue jeans-not the most feminine attire in her closet.

...Ash seemed to like her rough look, though, but she felt slightly obligated to dress nicer once they started dating, as if there was some kind of pressure to compete with other girls all of a sudden. While Misty flirted with the idea occasionally; it mostly frustrated her to no end how Ash could walk back into her life after four years and dig his nails so deeply under her skin to the point she was questioning her own sense of character again.

Misty's eyebrows lowered as she dropped the blue dress after looking at the price-tag. Yeah, she was maybe a little sore about his neglectful nature; a little upset about how easily she seemed to fall back into his arms; it was almost like she didn't even make him work for it—she was, in the end—the one who did the chasing... or at least, that's what it felt like. All Ash had to do was give her that look, and she fell for him all over again. She was doomed. There was simply no escaping Ash. For a very split second, she let herself wonder if that's how Serena felt.

"Misty! I found the one!"

Daisy squealed from across the dress store, and somehow, Misty's nonchalant, passive aggressive nature returned with a full force as she spun to face her sister. Happiness, and giddiness replaced with sharp acrimony. Would that mean she would get her money back for the other two dresses that Misty already paid for?
"Oh, look, a curve-hugging dress. Who would have ever thought that would suit you?" Misty mocked, her mood clearly soured from her thoughts as she walked over to her sister who seemed none-the-wiser.

"It's perfect! Tracey is going to love it." Daisy chimed happily as the the woman beside her fitted a veil over Daisy's hair. The dress hugged her hips, down to her knees where it bloomed out in lace and flower trim with a long, flowing white train. The halter top framed her large chest; and the neat wrap gathered at her waist pressed a sense of elegance into her otherwise beach appearance. The dress was definitely made for Daisy.

...It was a shame the price wasn't.

"Holy shit, Daisy. I can't afford this!" Misty squeaked, spotting the tag and nearly screaming bloody murder. Five thousand dollars for a dress!?

"...oh...but Misty..." Daisy cooed, looking at herself in the mirror, the way the lace bodice trailed her waist, how the heart shaped cut framed her collarbone. Misty groaned internally.

"Daisy, what was wrong with the other two dresses?" She whined, slapping her forehead and running her hand down her face, only, when she looked at Daisy's face, she could see it clearly.

The other dresses were hand-me-downs; bought from fabricated stores. Misty inhaled, sympathizing with the expression over Daisy's face. With the definite lack of parental figures, Misty, who was the only one of the four sisters to have a steady flow of income, was paying for most of the wedding. Daisy made countless attempts to earn her own money to help out, but no one really paid a starting actor well, and models made pennies where Misty made dimes.

"You're right. I'm sorry." The accent lost on her sisters voice, replaced instead by Daisy's natural tone—the one Misty admired a great deal. The one that reminded her that somewhere-somehow, Daisy was just as smart, and brave, and cunning as Misty was. It made Misty's heart bleed that Daisy hid it behind a facade.

"I'll wear the one we got from Maryann's." Daisy said, nodding to the woman who moved to the island to help Daisy down the stairs.

Damn it. Misty swore compulsively as she watched her sister move maturely from the platform and back into the changing rooms. Damn it. Misty thought again while biting her knuckle. If the roles were reversed, and they very often were; Daisy wouldn't have even bat an eyelash at the price. If it was Misty standing in that dress, Daisy would have ripped through hell and earth to make sure Misty had it. It was superficial, a little naive and a lot immature—but that was what older sisters were for. What family was for—and they didn't have a lot of that as it was.

It was bad enough that Daisy was already developing an inferiority complex because Misty, the youngest sister, was providing for her a wedding that she should have been able to pay for on her own by this point in her life.

No. Misty couldn't stand to watch that look in her sisters eyes.

"The things I do..." Misty groaned, rubbing her temples as she dug for her wallet, and credit card.

XOX

An hour before the league party, when Misty was pacing the steps outside of the gym, she fiddled with her credit card information. After all, it wasn't like Ash forgot.

He would be here.

Right?

Misty put the dress on lay-away, and returned the other two dresses for most of their original price—making the grand total of her expenses close to four grand already... To think they hadn't even looked at venues, caterers or decorations yet.

Misty breathed, tapping her pokegear against her palm. She opted for a plain dress today, since the chance to buy one was swallowed by the heavy price tag of Daisy's dress. She wore a green halter-top with a slight frill at the bottom. Black pumps and a black sweater to match the set. All she was missing was a boy in a hat.

So, she tried calling. Again. He hadn't responded since yesterday's quick message when she was at the dress store—or throughout the rest of the night when she texted him. A part of her thought that maybe he was out of signal? Perhaps, he was already on a plane to meet her? After all, he didn't give her any information on when he was going to leave. That was very Ash-like.

However, missing in action only an hour before the event... her heart sank quietly into her chest, and she plopped down onto the stone steps and willed her phone to give her answers. Anything at this point. Ash wouldn't do this to her, they were open about this stuff now. He wouldn't cancel plans without giving her proper...

Ring-g-g.

The phone jingled in her hand, and she answered the phone immediately.

"Hey, Mist." Ash answered before a word could escape her mouth. He was trying to play it cool, but she was borderline furious.

"Where are you?" she clawed at her dress, trying to stay calm, but he fumbled over the phone.

"I...uh...well, I'm stuck in Kalos." She heard him gulp, and her jaw locked angrily. "Apparently, there was a showcase I was supposed to attend tonight."

Ah, his job. Of course. She could never get mad at that—except that she was. She was fucking livid.

"You just found out about this?" She glanced at the clock on her phone briefly. "You would have had to make plans pretty late to not be on a plane right now in the first place."

"Well, I couldn't get on the plane, I had to come-"

"You forgot, didn't you?" she snapped hotly, then immediately followed with: "If you knew about this event before, you could have called to say you were canceling!"

"Don't yell at me." He chirped, frustrated "I didn't know until a few hours ago."
"You couldn't have told me then?" She growled, but then put up her arms, trying to calm herself down. "You have to give me some warning, Ketchum."

Ash fumbled, she heard bed sheets rustling, and her gut hit the floor, fearing the worst. He slept in. Yes, she realized it was late there, but had he slept through telling her about anything? She kept the thoughts to herself as Ash tried to explain.

"I'm really, really sorry, Mist." His voice cracked and her skin burned. "I guess time just... and the time difference and..."

He sounded like a wounded animal, and she crumbled at the sound. Misty's shoulders slumped and she leaned forward, rubbing her face, running her fingers through her hair.

"It's fine." She bit against her pride. "I know you didn't mean to, just..." She wanted to say a million things, but instead she said:

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

An awkward followed as Ash croaked behind the phone as if she stepped on his pride. In a way, she did. The same way he dug his heels into hers.

"Misty..."

"Listen, I have to get going or I'll miss the party." Misty jumped at the first time to escape, she didn't want to fight with him tonight. She wasn't in the frame of mind.

"...I love you." Ash offered weakly, nervously.

Misty gnawed her lip, as she stood and tried to find the right words. She wanted to say that he was trying, but honestly. She wasn't sure. He ditched her—bailed on her, with no prior information.

"...Yeah." She swallowed, unable to repeat the sentiment, for whatever reason her tongue was caught in her throat. "I'll call you when the party is over."

Then she hung up the phone before he could get under her skin again, and let all the fury run out of her with a shriek into the night air.

Letting out a loud, exaggerate sigh, she slumped onto the concrete bench outside of the gates of Cerulean Gym. Ash's promises were usually like this—the same way he promised to keep in contact and visit. They were empty; that apparently wasn't going to change because they started dating. Frustrated, she ripped out her french twist, letting her short hair fall to her chin in wavy heaps, stewing in her own sadness. Looks like she would be returning this stupid green dress after all. She looked down at the sequined dress in question and exhaled hotly. When she tried to look pretty, the few times that she did, it was pointless—she should have known that when he didn't return her messages, he wasn't coming. Somehow, she hoped that he would spring in last minute—something he was famous for.

Instead, she got a phone call and frustration. She pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to calm herself; reminding herself that this was just a part of the process. Long distance relationships weren't known to be hard because they were easy.

She looked out sadly to the forest below, and kicked her feet out to chill her nerves. Still, it would have been nice to see him again; she scoffed thoughtfully. Most people expected them to arrive together, and when they didn't, well... People were going to make assumptions, the media was already doing enough of that as was. She knew that his late call was because he probably had the time differences confused, he couldn't help that...but still...

Her phone buzzed, reminding her to loosen her grip, or else it might really snap under her pressure.

"Are you mad?" Ash messaged, and Misty could feel her heart shatter in her chest. Yes. She was furious; but how could she tell him that? He didn't need to feel worse, and telling him wouldn't make her feel any better. She could only envision his doe, brown eyes staring up at her with that pathetically adorable sparkle in them—the one he only made when he knew he was in trouble and earnestly felt terrible about it—the look Misty thoughtfully dubbed "the Ash pout".

Sighing, she pressed her fingers in familiar motion; "I'm not mad. Just call and let me know in advance if you're going to cancel, alright?" She replied carefully, sending the message with a silent huff.

"I know you are mad." He replied instantly and Misty's face scrunched up. He did not.

"I'm not." she offered via message.

"Liar." came immediately after.

Then, he called her again. Misty chuckled, letting the ring go to her voice mail before she shook her head, blissfully. He tried to call again, but Misty ignored the call, and texted him.

"I love you, you dork." She wrote him, chuckling aloud as her anger seemed to fade away. Even though they were miles apart, she could practically hear the sigh of relief he managed as her shoulders lowered with ease.

"Sounds like you're having fun, sissy." Misty's head snapped around to the bgym entrance, spotting there a neatly dressed Daisy—wearing the red and gold gown that she wore to most of her modeling shows.

"Daisy!" Misty cheered, "What are you doing here?" she asked, standing as if she had been caught red handed—as if texting her boyfriend was an uncommon thing.

"I am still a gym leader technically, and I sort of figured out that your date bailed on you." Daisy murmured carefully, folding her arms. Right on the spot, Misty shrugged gently and shifted her eyes.

"He got tied up in Kalos..." Misty muttered, scratching her cheek with her index finger.

"...aww..." Daisy purred, immediately cradling her baby sister around the shoulder, getting a scoff and push from the red-head in return.

"My baby sister got stood up." Daisy whined playfully before shooting her a possessive look. "Do we need to fix that?"

Misty laughed, feeling a grin tug on her lips; "No, it's not his fault."

"Don't make excuses for him, Mist." Daisy echoed seriously, scratching at the surface of buried insecurities. "You already played that game." She added, as if snapping Misty's back.

Misty's sea-green eyes bore into Daisy's blue ones, and she inhaled.

"I'm not."

"Relax, I'm kidding." Daisy tossed, noticing the mood shift, but Misty knew.

Daisy was not joking at all; and Misty had half the mind to ask her about it-if Daisy hadn't started to pull her into the drive way where a taxi was waiting to take her to a party, where guests would be watching her. The news outlets and media would be ready to jump at any minute. Daisy offering to be her chaperon would take the heat off of Misty. Kalos news may not have meant much to Kanto, but since the current league champion was none other than Ash Ketchum, the Kanto region had to know everything about him. Their relationship now on the front cover of every magazine was met with both sides of harsh criticisms—approval, and loathing. Some people called Misty a 'home wrecker;.

"Oh, and Misty..." Daisy smiled, wrapping her arm around her sister's as the sped off in the small taxi. "Thanks for buying the dress."

Misty's face flushed red, she had marked the purchase anonymous—but wasn't surprised that Daisy picked up on it.

"You're welcome."

The drive was a short one because they were holding the gala in Cerulean City's theater, which happened to be only a skip and a hop away from the gym...or maybe, it was because Misty couldn't stop fidgeting as she watched several famous faces pass by the car, as well as cameras. Her thumbs danced nervously over her lap, and she wished that Ash was here. This was one of her first league parties in the last two years. Most of the time, she dodged them because she hated dressing up...but when Ash seemed excited to go, maybe she was overly enthused, and signed her name on the guest book, without actually thinking the decision through.

When they stopped, Daisy pushed open her door and stepped out with ease, pulling Misty alongside her. They looked professional and stunning when their feet hit the pavement, but Misty nearly crumbled at the first light hitting her eyes.

"Misty Waterflower! Tell us about your relationship with Ash!" Screamed a camera persona cross the red line where a group of fans screamed vehemently behind her. Daisy kept a tight grasp on Misty's arm, and if it hadn't been for the blonde, Misty might have been swallowed by lights.

Once inside the building, a man met them to take their jacket, and the atmosphere changed. Only one or two members of the media circled the room full of famous faces, and practically no one exchanged glances with the sisters. Everyone else seemed preoccupied with themselves, and it was only Misty, rubbing her sore and healing wrist, that watched the rest of them.

"See, not so bad. You have to move quickly or they will eat you alive." Daisy offered a bit of advice before throwing up her arms and creating a white noise frequency upon seeing Erica, whom she rushed over to.

The dresses, the glam, the expensive drinks and tables... Misty felt like a thorn on a rose stem. Her dress had sequins, but next to the many different women dressed in ballgowns, and traditional attire, she look underwhelming.

No one else seemed to notice.

Daisy seemed to fit in effortlessly, not that it surprised Misty. Simply, she wished Ash had been here, after all. At least if he had been, they could both not fit in, equally.

Her eye caught the view of a man carrying a tray of red and white brews in thin glasses, and her hand shot up before her mind told her to stop. Misty flagged down the waiter for wine, all the while Daisy's words played back to her: you already played that game.

...What did that mean?

Author's Note: edited 2018-11-26

Again, changed some dialogue so it didn't seem stilted. Changed the conversation between Ash and Misty from being at the party, to an hour before. Fixed some fragmented sentences, and addressed the overall plot to be more cohesive and less complicated.