Guilty Passion
Chapter Four
Slamming her car doors shut, Sakura walked hurriedly towards her place of employment, The Leaf Hospital. A very long day was ahead of her and she wanted nothing more than to just get it over with. The pinkette was in a particularly rotten mood this morning, and she seriously feared for any patient who was daring enough to get on her nerves today. Oh what she wouldn't give for a foot massage right now. It was simply inhuman to feel this sick. Her feet felt sore and swollen, she felt nauseous, her lower back was feeling tense and there was a pounding in her head which she couldn't account for.
Altogether she was feeling miserable, and well...pregnant. She suddenly wished that she had stayed home. But putting in a few hours at the hospital could earn her extra cash in her pocket, and as it is, she was going to need the extra money. She would probably need to work two jobs, but at the rate at which she was going, she doubt that even her current job should be tackled.
Nevertheless she was there trying to work off the lousy feeling that was engulfing her being. She'd have to endure this uncomfortable ordeal until the day was over, then she could go back home and relax in a nice warm bath, listen to some music and dream of the impossible. Maybe she could talk Ino into coming over and giving her a back massage. It's funny how people would do anything to keep a pregnant woman happy, to be more specific—to keep Sakura happy. Everyone knew her to be a bad-tempered female with an extremely sharp tongue, but now that she was pregnant, they feared that those traits would turn her into a serial killer.
Naruto feared her so much that sometimes he'd take the stairs when he saw her in the elevator. Tsunade was practically the only one who wasn't afraid to tell her that being pregnant had turned her into a spoilt and lazy little brat. But seriously, anyone would feel hopeless and miserable too if they were in her shoes. How could she possibly put off being a mother? Firstly she's not responsible enough; if she were, she wouldn't have been in this situation. Secondly she hasn't adequate knowledge on how to care for a child, emotionally that is, as far as paediatrics was concerned, she's great with kids. Thirdly, she just didn't think that she's capable; she wasn't physically, emotionally, mentally or financially stable to raise this child.
Nervously Sakura walked through the huge glass doors as it automatically opened to allow her entrance. The crisp air-conditioned waft engulfed her and she braced herself for the stares that would bore holes in her back and the whispers that she knew would follow her everywhere. Taking a deep breath, she hastily made her way across the familiar floors, the smell of the hospital had never been a problem before, but the smell of blood, anti-biotic, rubbing alcohol, antiseptic and all the usual scents associated with hospitals was making her sick. She hurriedly made her way to the sign her name in the log book ignoring the questioning look on the face of a fellow nurse. She took a look in the waiting area and was surprised to see that it wasn't as crowded as usual. A smile found its way onto her lips; maybe she'll be able to get home early after all.
By lunch time Sakura was exhausted, never had she worked so hard in her life before. She didn't know if it was because she was pregnant but those previous hours seemed like days to her. And even more upsetting was the fact that her fatigue feeling didn't result from running all over the hospital to take care of patients. No... It had everything to do with the fact that she spent the last few hours sitting at the front desk sorting through some dusty, old hospital records. Her new supervisor had apparently learned of her 'state' and decided that sitting down and fussing over complex documents with really poor penmanship was better for her. She didn't need special treatment! Damn it! She wanted to be where the action was. And the only action that she got out of sorting through all those files was the rhythmic throbbing in her temple.
"So forehead..." Ino was saying when they had settled in the cafe on their lunch break. She raised her water flask in toast to her friend then swallowed some of the scotch Sakura knew was concealed in the bottle. "How's your day going so far?"
Sakura sighed, "Do you want the truth or should I lie and tell you that I had the most amazing day of my life?''
Ino laughed, opening Sakura's bottle of orange juice for her then handing it to the pinkette with a childish smirk, Sakura frowned slightly, "Drink it Sakura,'' Ino instructed. "It wouldn't kill you to take a break from all that caffeine." Ino said. "I'm sure that you know that it's not good for the baby,'' Sakura rolled her eyes and Ino grinned at her, "...unless you've got no problem birthing a psychopath," she laughed.
"That's not funny Ino," Sakura touched her stomach then frowned at the blonde, "Don't make fun of little Hidari."
"Hidari?'' Ino cocked up a brow then downed what remained of her scotch in a single swallow. She waited for the liquor to settle before she told Sakura exactly what she thought of the name.
"It's a cute name," Sakura protested.
"What about Tsuki?'' Ino suggested, holding the flask to her head once more to drain what may have remained within it. Effortlessly Sakura snatched it from Ino clutches and gave her a disapproving scowl. Did she know how much trouble she'd get into if anyone ever found out about her little drinking habits? Silently she wondered what could have unnerved Ino so much that it led her to drinking.
"That's a girl's name Ino," she told her flatly. "Hidari is going to be a boy."
Ino sighed, rolling her beautiful eyes—eyes like lapis lazuli, thinking better than to argue with Sakura. After all it was her damn child; she could name it whatever the hell she wanted. "I hear you..." her voice gradually lowered.
"Oh but Hidari would be a cute girl's name too," she squealed, clapping her hands all the while ignoring the bottle being handed to her. But Ino wasn't one to be easily deterred by childish defiance and squirming. If she wanted you to do something, you best believe that she'd get you to do it whether by force or by the addition of some sort of incentives. It was her maternal nature that offered Sakura the comfort that she needed, especially in times like these when she felt that there was absolutely no hope.
And regardless of the fact that Ino could be a real bitch at times, Sakura wouldn't have her any other way. She was always there for her whenever she needed a shoulder to cry on, or someone to talk some sense into her when Tsunade was too busy to take on the challenge. Yamanaka Ino proved to be a real pain in the ass among other things... but she's the snobbish, vindictive, impolite, little brat that Sakura had grown to love.
"Drink," Ino held up the bottle of orange juice to Sakura's reluctant lips and commanded. "You can't keep feeding on sweets and junk food Sakura, the baby needs nourishment."
"It's not that..." She choked on the cool liquid forcefully descending her oesophagus. Grabbing a hold of Ino's hand she shoved the bottle away from her mouth, not without sacrificing a few split drops on her white uniform. "Hey did you spike my orange juice?" Sakura joked licking the citrusy dew from her lips.
"Babies don't grow on trees Sakura, you really ought to exercise some sort of responsibility where both yours and the baby's health is concerned," she wiped around Sakura's mouth with a napkin.
"Hidari's just fine," she patted her stomach.
"How about something meaningful, like Tsuki? Moon, because she was conceived under the moon?'' Ino teased, replacing the now lipstick-smudged napkin on the table between them.
Sakura's emerald iris grew immensely wider as Ino's implication finally registered. Her pale cheeks went florid under the Ino's crystalline knowing azure gaze. Pink eyebrows knitted together and equally pink lips parted but no sound came out, which came as a surprise because Sakura had more than a mouthful to say to her favourite blonde personality.
"Full moon wasn't it?'' Ino inquired with wide-eyed innocence, inducing Sakura's discomfort. Then she burst out into a piercing chortle when Sakura's eye brow started twitching. "Relax forehead, I'm just pulling your leg."
Sakura shook her head furiously trying to fend off memories that Ino were forcing into her thoughts, "Stop teasing me pig," Sakura said softly looking down on her cheese sandwich in front of her. ''It's not funny."
"But be honest, the name Tsuki would have a lot more meaning wouldn't it?'' she continued.
"You're enjoying yourself aren't you?'' Sakura asked miserably. "Just so you know... I would never consider naming my child Tsuki because of the reason you implied."
Ino laughed, almost choking on Sakura's orange juice—serve her right, the bitch stole her drink, "Oh come on Sakura, I'm sure the father would love that name as well."
Sakura breathed out heavily, "This conversation has officially ended."
Ino pouted, conjuring up the best puppy dog eyes that she could. "Ah... come on Sakura, you know you want to tell me about his tone muscles, his deep husky drawl, his chestnut tresses, his irresistible charm, his mesmerizing eyes that locked you in a trance and—" she batted her eyelashes and twisted her lips into nasty little grin.
"Enough," she whispered hoarsely, dazed and a little frightened that Ino had painted such a perfect picture of the man responsible for her sleepless nights and empty days—almost as if she were looking at the image burned into Sakura's mind. "This is getting uncomfortable..."
"I was merely teasing Sakura."
"Well you need to fucking stop it!" she exclaimed throwing her hands up in the air.
Ino winced at the menacing glint in Sakura's jade eyes. Sure she didn't hold any grudges against Sakura for holding out on her about the happenings of that night, but that didn't mean that her interest wasn't peaking the more Sakura denied her access to the details of that faithful night. She knew that there was a cute guy, a drunken Sakura with devious little thoughts and a bottle of vodka. The math was easy, a drunken Sakura plus hot guy equals really bad things. She could easily read between the lines to understand that; but she didn't want to go by her fictitious beliefs, she wanted the hardcore facts. Not in vivid details of course...
"If this guy's as gorgeous as you claim him to be then your baby's going to be one hell of an eye-candy. You'll have to watch out, you might have to introduce me as your daughter-in-law in a couple of years," she laughed handing Sakura back her drink, which by the way was nearly finished. "I'd have to call you mom..." she cracked up.
"Yes," Sakura said but her response was so slow, it felt as though her mind had drifted off to somewhere else. "I will have no such thing," she suddenly said aloud as if finally picking up on what was being said.
"You couldn't help if Hidari were to fall in love with me," Ino shot the growingly peeved pinkette. "Why... I think we'd have cute children," Ino laughed, carefully watching the expression on Sakura's face, mindful of the bottle of orange juice in her hand that could easily be thrown in her direction with the slightest flex of muscles.
Sakura giggled throwing off Ino for a bit. "Keep daydreaming pig. But this little player won't be chasing your old goods," she patted her stomach again. "Or any old goods for that matter," then they both broke into gaiety laughter.
"I can't wait until you pop out that little sucker," Ino jabbed her fork into her salad consisting of lettuce, tomatoes, bits of barbecued chicken, red peas and courgette. "I'm so happy for you," she covered Sakura's hand with her palm and smile, not just one of those smug smirks. A genuinely moving—smile.
"I'm sorry Ino," Sakura looked down at her untouched sandwich.
"What for forehead?" she held up her fork to Sakura's mouth, an attempt to get her to eat but the stubborn girl turned her head to the side. "Eat dammit," Ino scowled. "At least try the sandwich."
"I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed today. It's the first in a long while that I've been here and the smell of the place is really provoking my gut."
"There's no need to apologize for being fat—I mean pregnant," Ino snickered.
Seemingly oblivious of Ino teasing she went on, "Then there's the fact that I'm being forcibly placed to work in an environment that I'm unfamiliar with. I'm not a secretary so why am I doing office work? I'm a damn nurse; I belong with the patients! Not with the damn dusty old papers that look as if they were doodled on by three year olds!"
Ino laughed, "Well... it looks like you'll need to present your case to the supervisor."
"Maybe I will," Sakura said taking her first bite of her cheese sandwich which tasted almost as insipid as her mood.
OoOoOoOo
Sakura flung herself down on her sofa, relieved that the day was finally over. Kicking off her bed slippers she propped her legs up against the arm of the couch, turned on the radio and allowed the music to flow through her like a gentle tide, soothing her into tranquillity. All she had to do now was lay back against the pillow beneath her head and wait for the music to take her through the night.
Sighing, she realized that she hadn't gotten the chance to see Tsunade today. It was because of her mentor's increasingly busy schedule which resulted from her sudden promotion. To some extent Sakura envied Tsunade, for the strong and confident woman that she was, not to mention her career was really starting to take off and Sakura's...well, it was failing before it even started. And having a baby at such a crucial time in her career was going to put a big halt on her success in the medical world. But she was willing to go the extra mile for this child, even if it meant giving up her dream. The odds were stacked against her, but she would have to try. There was absolutely no room for fuck ups this time. It'd cost her too much...
Stubbornness was a crime, it was treacherous thing, yet that night, it was only the stubborn part of her personality that had surfaced. There were so many things that she wished she hadn't done, that she wished she hadn't said, but it was too late to take them back now. Then there was the present to consider, and even now there were so many things that she didn't want to have to do, like enduring the nine months of torture know to mankind as pregnancy, she didn't want to be a mother, she didn't want to have to go back to work tomorrow either. Heck, she didn't even want to get up to answer the damn door.
Was it too much to ask for a little peace and quiet? Sighing, she reluctantly got up from her seat and walked hesitantly to the door, hoping that maybe her stalling might make the buzzing go away.
Upon opening the door, she was jolted into a state of mystification by the sight before her, this body definitely didn't belong to Ino, nor did it belong to the very annoying Naruto or anyone that she normally associated herself with on a normal day to day basis. It looked familiar but strangely different.
"Sakura?'' the voice said, but it sounded as though it were a question.
She remained fixed, feeling as though any minute now consciousness would depart from her.
"Wh...?'' she asked taking a step back inside. Was this some sort of illusion? She ran a hand through her loose pink tresses. "Wh...?" was all she managed to get out.
Familiar lilac orbs from her nightly delusion stared down into her shocked filled green once. A serious look flashed across the face of her guest as his eyes trailed over her body. Studying her face and relishing the look of utter stupefaction on her face. He smirked at her, obviously content that he had caused such a stir.
"Haruno Sakura?'' he asked again looking quite unsure.
