Judy had always been quick witted and decisive, so it was strange to find her in such a state of shock. It was as if a beehive had been dropped into the metaphorical orchestra of her mind; sending the musicians scrambling. Now substitute the bees for a pen shaped like a carrot.

She turned it over in her hands; staring at it vacantly. And then finally, Judy's jumbled thinking began to organize, cascading into a singular realization:

This. Is. My. Pen. How did that bunny get my pen? I gave my pen to Nick. Why did he have this pen when I gave it to Nick? Did Nick give him the pen? Wait, he just said Nick 'says thanks'… Nick is here! Why didn't he bring it to me himself? Why would Nick come all the way to Bunnyburrows? Is he trying to tell me something? Does he want to talk to me? He held onto the thing this long. Why give it back? He could be here right now. Maybe if I talk to him… Judy, you don't deserve his forgiveness- But, maybe if I could just talk to him… maybe, I just-
I need to do something.
I need to do something right.
I need to do something right now!
If I could apologize, maybe I could live with myself again; maybe.

I have to try.

With that, something that had been subdued inside Judy began to awaken. An element of her very core that she had suppressed with guilt and regret over many weeks. It was her spirit. The thing that had flown in the face of rabbit culture and that had given her the strength to defy expectations her entire life; an indomitable will.

It burst forth from the sinkhole of her depression and carried her out from behind the counter she had been sitting at like a cannon ball. She grabbed hold of, 'What's-his-face', the bunny that gave her the pen, and demanded answers. But he was useless so she forgot about him.

Walking out into the dirt shoulder of the road she searched. Every iota of her attention cast towards the task of picking out a glimpse of red fur, or the flash of green eyes.

He's not here.

Her new found strength of will was already beginning to crack.

He's already left.

She looked down at the pen in her hands and a dark idea popped into her head.

He must have left me a message. If he came all the way here and then left… it must be bad.

The world seemed to be spinning, or perhaps she was spinning as her mind played the counterpoint.

Maybe he wants me to know that he hates me.

Something came gurgling up from deep in her chest; a sound, she couldn't contain. It had been building without her notice for some time. It had been growing there for months. Judy cried Nicks name aloud and the wind that had been lazily blowing throughout the warm day came to a halt. The roadside and its inhabitants, the cars and trucks, the field and the farm fell into silence.

If he is still here somewhere he must have heard me.

Judy focused again on searching for Nick but all she saw were rabbits. She brushed over them with her eyes, their faces unremarkable as stones.

The second time she called his name it was like the aftershock of an earthquake. The hope that she had felt, the renewal of spirit, was coming to rest.

The silence lengthened.

But then there was the faintest noise of claws scratching over gravel and Judy turned and faced him. The edges of his fur were like glowing embers in the bright sunlight. He was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

Trembling relief, joy, and a strange nervousness washed over her so suddenly she was left gasping; tears gathered heavily in her eyes.

The brim of his hat was pulled down so low it was hard for her to read his expression. She tried to speak, but the best she could do was open and close her mouth wordlessly. Something seemed to be drawing her closer to him. It felt like a great magnet in the center of her chest.

A sort of magnetism.

She realized she wasn't thinking clearly. But her feet were slowly carrying her forward until eventually the two of them were standing just a few feet apart. Her heart was pounding. She felt like it might beat its way out of her chest. It was causing her to take tiny shuttering breaths. Her hands shook in time with the drumming and she was feeling a bit faint. Then she caught a glimpse of his eyes. They were studying her. He wore an expression, not angry or sad. He looked as if he was seeing something from a dream.

She gulped and tried to speak again but no words were forthcoming, just a small guttural clicking sound that echoed from the back of her throat. The trembling was worsening. So far he hadn't spoken a word. And although they had been standing there for only seconds it seemed like long minutes had past.

Why won't he say anything? Why can't I speak!?

A few solitary tears rolled down her cheeks, gathering at the base on her chin.

Then she felt Nick's hands cover hers and her heart seemed to stop. The trembling halted as well. She took a deep breath and found herself. She was Judy Hopps again; wholly within her right mind.

Nick was doing something with his hands. He forced one of her fingers to move slightly and then flicked a switch on the carrot before backing away a few steps. Judy intended to follow him but was stilled by a voice coming from the pen,
"Dear Judy," Nicks recorded voice carried far out across the landscape, "I think the reason I brought you this pen is because you made me break my rule. You remember the one where you don't let them see that they get to you? Well, sweetheart, you got too me. Despite my best efforts you managed to somehow get under my skin.
Since the press conference I have been confused... I haven't been able to work. I keep obsessing over what you would think of me if I did. The look in your eyes if I had to face you from inside a jail cell...
Listen, I overreacted a bit. I admit it. That doesn't mean I'm not still angry. The next time I see you I have some questions I need to ask. But I want you to know... I want to forgive you. I wish you had of come and found me. But I'm going to see you soon so I hope that in the end we can find a way to figure this out. So yeah, uh, end of message."

The pen clicked off and again everything was silent; but not for long, because Judy had finally found her voice.

She had practiced what she might say to him. She had played the words over in her mind a thousand times. If she had been composed she might have begun her little speech as planned, but right then, she couldn't even remember the first words of it. All she could think to say was, "Nick. I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I'm so sorry Nick. I-" Tears were running freely down her cheeks now; not that she noticed.

Nick held up his hand. For a moment Judy thought he was going to reach out and touch her, but he hesitated and then motioned for her to stop, "Please. Carrots, just- let me ask my questions ok. Let me say my bit."

Judy took a shuttering breath before closing her mouth and gave him a small nod. "Alright," Nick began, his voice distant, "after we found the missing mammals. You told me to meet you at the police station the next day. We both went home. Your uniform was soaking wet after we fell into the lake. And later... I took a look at a bottle of that fox spray you had on you. It says right on the label that if it gets submerged in water or is otherwise damaged it has to be thrown away. My question is: did you go out and buy another can of it that day. You obviously decided to keep it with you. I know you didn't just forget about it. There is no way that Judy Hopps doesn't check her equipment over the morning before a big press conference. I need to know; did you actually go out and buy more? After everything?"

Judy's face was now directed at the ground. The tears that were falling were creating small dark speckles in the dirt. Her response was both one word and a sob, "Yes," she said, and then nodding slowly, "Yes, I bought a n-new can. A-and I chose to wear it."

Nick's voice shook and she wasn't sure if she heard rage or heartbreak, "Why?"

"I-I don't even know." she choked, "You deserved my trust Nick. But I never really trusted you. Not like I should have. I thought of you as an exception; as the best example of what a predator could be. But in the end I kept telling myself 'better safe than sorry'. I had lots of ways to justify the way I treated you, all the while feeling sure that I was righteous. During the months after the case I finally realized that I had never really wanted to make the world a better place. I only wanted to make the world a better place for people like me. I wanted to protect Zootopia from the bad guys. And in my mind the bad guys were usually predators like you. I believed there were things a fox might do that a prey animal never would."

"Is that how you still feel?" Nick's voice was very quiet.

"I don't know! I know I was wrong. I hurt everyone and I failed to be the person I promised myself I would be. I was wrong and yet... I might still be afraid of you Nick. I might still fear that you or any other predator could go savage. I was so small minded and deluded for so long. My dreams are dead and my beliefs were lies. Who am I? I don't even know anymore. I can tell you though-" She was on the verge of tears again and continued bitterly, "I can tell you that you have every right to hate me. I used you. I hurt you. You hope we can be friends again? Well", Judy struck at her collarbone with her fingers, "I was n-never a friend to you. And I d-don't deserve to be in y-your l-life."

With that Judy felt her legs give out and she sat hard onto the ground. She barely noticed though as she dropped her face into her hands and sobbed. For a short while Judy was oblivious to everything. She heaved in great shuddering waves, crying in way she hadn't since she was very young. It wasn't until she felt hands envelope her wrists that she was calmed enough to hear Nick's voice, "Judy. That's enough. Judy, listen to me. Please." He gently pulled her hands away from her eyes.

She looked at him. At some point he had taken a seat in the gravel directly in front of her. Their knees were touching. Nick had taken his hat off and left it on the ground. So for the first time that day she could really see his face.

He had been crying a little bit. Even now a thin stream of tears was flowing down his cheeks. She couldn't see any anger in his eyes; no hatred. It seemed impossible to her and yet it was the truth.

"No more ok Carrots. I can't take anymore." He appraised her for a few long moments before he said, "I had more questions but you answered them for me. I need to tell you something. Let me know when you're ready ok."

Nick smiled a bit and his hand slid down from her wrists and took a hold of her hands.

What is happening? She had no idea but whatever it was it felt good.

What might have been confused relief or perhaps hysteria threatened to burst out of her in the form of laughter, but she kept it down and nodded, gripping Nick's hands. She wasn't going to let go if at all possible.

Judy managed to smile a little to show she was recovered so Nick spoke, "You know that everyone carries around baggage right? Everyone is prejudiced in some way. Mammals make mistakes. You actually realized you made a mistake. That puts you in the top ten percent of all mammals in my books. Then you not only realized you were wrong, you tried to be better. Now we are easily talking about the top one percent. You say you don't know who you are? Well who the hell does? Your dreams kind of turned to crap? You at least had the courage to dream. You are so amazing in so many ways and yet you are so hard on yourself, Judy. You think you messed up Zootopia. Well it was already like that, just less openly. Wrong or not, since the beginning it has always been Zootopia which didn't deserve you, not the other way around. So listen, how about I forgive you. And you forgive yourself. And maybe you are afraid of me; or not. But, if we were never really friend before, why don't we make this the first day that we really are friends. We can try again and then we can start to figure this out together. We can be better. I don't deserve you and you don't deserve me but I'm willing to try if you are."

He was smiling at her, (really smiling) and if she'd known him all his life she would have realized she was seeing was his most unguarded smile in decades. But it didn't matter, it was still amazing. He was amazing.

She had no words at this point. She had thought she was out of tears, but apparently not.

Very sloth-like she reached forward and slipped her arms around his chest. She pressed her chin into the notch at the top of his sternum and her nose just above his Adam's apple. The top of her head brushed up against the bottom of his jaw. She snaked her arms around his ribs, squeezing tight as she burrowed herself in like a tick. All this happened just before she was struck by another deluge of tears.


It took Nick Wilde a moment to reboot his brain. Something had happened when Judy collapsed onto the roadside and began to weep uncontrollably. Whatever had remained of his personal barriers, the walls he had build around himself for so many years, came crashing down in an instant. He was a little boy again, seeing the world without scepticism. All his fears of revealing his true self, of being vulnerable, seemed to evaporate.

He sat down with her in the way he had when he was a child on the school playground. Back then a boy had scraped his knee and Nick had gone to him from across the grassy yard. He knew he could make the boy feel better. He would talk to him, and show him his heart, and afterwards they would be friends. Nick had wanted everyone around him to be happy. He wanted them to laugh. He sought out the outcasts and included them. He found those who cried alone and gave them friendship. He saw conflict and quietly negotiated peace.

He did it because he loved them.

He loved everyone. It was the bedrock of his very soul. And it was this love that he had locked away as deep down as he could… until today. Now by some strange miracle it was shining through.

Bunnies were everywhere. They had been filtering in the entire time; dozens of them. This was probably the most excitement they had seen in the Burrows in years. The road had become completely impassible. It was clogged with cars filled with rubberneckers. And around the two mammals sitting in the dust a circle had formed.

It was quite the spectacle.

Nick Wilde should have been mortified, but was instead pleased to discover that he didn't care. In fact he was crying. He was crying in public. It was beyond shameful. Yet, where was the voice of his mentor? Where was his scathing inner monolog? Nowhere!

So, not caring one wit, he hugged his arms around his bunny who had pulled them together as close as was physically possible.

He wrapped his tail around her as well and let his chin fall to the top of her head. He was sniffing and at the same time smiling like a maniac.

Nick was fully aware of how it must look to those watching, but in that moment, which was currently among the best of his life, he really, really didn't care.


End of Act 1

Next chapter will be from Gideon and then Nicks POV.

I'm going to keep the teen rating if I can but I intend to toe the very edge of what is considered teen.

Over the next few chapters I will be answering such questions as, "What about the night howlers?!", "What kind of stuff can we expect from an emotionally available Nick Wilde?!" and a bunch of other stuff too.