The world has slowed down. Everything around me feels like heaven, I feel like a sweet fire is licking my skin setting it alight with pain and so much pleasure. The heroin coursing through my veins takes its effect almost immediately. I set my head back on the edge of the couch and close my eyes, letting the feelings take me over, Christian is complaining about something stupid, like his car going under the couch or something. I shoo him away and eventually he goes, skulking in the kitchen. Terry comes in and starts beating the shit out of him, it's became constant, every single day and I've just come to ignore it; the drugs help with that, they help with not caring or worrying. Christian runs off, into the bedroom to hide I think while Terry and I fuck, after he's finished he gets up and leaves.
Tina has been coming by everyday, pounding on the door, I just ignore her, she just doesn't get it. I'm in too deep to quit now, way too deep. She's talked, through the door, about taking Christian away from me, and I just can't allow that, he's mine, not her's.
I lock Christian in the apartment as I walk down the slums and hang out by my spot. It's a bit of a grimy day and I feel like I should have brought a jacket; looking up at the sky it looks like rain. I brush my fingers through my auburn hair a moment to keep my hands busy, I feel like I'm starting to shake for whatever reason, maybe I need some alcohol in my system. I look around when I hear cat calls and the roar of a car engine that sounds out of place. To my surprise a black BMW, and I'm guessing it's pretty new, just by the looks of it. My interests are piqued when I see the car slow down, as if assessing the people it passes by, they're as much of a spectacle as we are. Why would a nice car like that be driving in a shit hole like this?
I'm surprised and stiffen up my back when the car pulls in front of me. The windows are tinted so black I can see my reflection in it...It's a horrible sight to see, so I try to look passed it. Eventually the front passenger window goes down and I have to blink a few times at the man I see before me. He's enticingly handsome, very well groomed with soft skin and beautiful blonde-ish hair. Though he's extremely handsome, he also looks really familiar.
"You wanting to spend some time?" My voice nearly shakes, but I keep it under control as best as I can.
"Yes, please, get in." Once again the pange of familiarity hits me, but I can't place where from.
Without hesitation I get inside of the car, slightly afraid to get anything dirty. The leather interior really smells delicious and comfortable. The handsome man is well groomed, he's in a pair of suit pants and a white, button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. A nice Rolex watch is ticking away quietly on his right hand. We sit in silence for a few minutes just looking each other over. I swear I know this man, but I'm not sure if it's the drugs or just the different atmosphere but I can't place where I know him.
"How about we go for a drive?" His voice is soft and comfortable. I nod my head and we drive off in the direction of the good part of town.
I stare out the window trying to figure where I know him then suddenly….it hits me. Oh shit….I'm in very big trouble.
"How about some food?" He looks over at me and I stare at him with big eyes full of fear and confusion.
"I know who you are….you're the DA...the prosecutor that threw me in jail for six months for drugs and prostitution." My voice sounds accusatory and matter-of-factly. "You're Carrick Grey."
He looks at me and doesn't give anything away. Without saying anything else he returns to the road and continues to drive, after a few minutes we pull up outside of a restaurant. It looks really nice, and I feel very unsure about myself. He gets out of the car and opens my door for me. Holding out his hand I take it and he helps me to my feet; glancing at my arms he can see the various track marks, made there by me, I pull my arm away and suddenly feel ashamed.
"You really should take better care of yourself, my wife is a doctor and could really help you out, get you into some programs." You want your wife to take care of me? I just shake my head and we head into the restaurant, thankfully it's dark and I don't have to make much eye contact with other people around here. We sit and within seconds the waitress takes our orders, she seems strung out on something, too, probably pills. Carrick orders for us and she takes her leave.
"Why did you pick me up, Mr. Grey?" I look him dead in the face and gauge and small sadness from him, but I don't stop staring at him.
"I needed some company while my wife is out of town." I feel like he's lying, but who am I to judge, he's certainly not the first married man, or lawyer to proposition me, it's just money.
"What kind of company are you looking for?" It's time for business I suppose.
"I'm-" We're cut short as the waitress brings us drinks, water, and our food. It smells heavenly, like and I dig in, very guilty that Christian isn't here to enjoy this, he would love it.
We sit in silence for a while, eating our food, occasionally glancing at each other as if assessing the other person's intentions. He's very handsome, clean, smells nice, full of manners. After we have finished our food we sit and stare at each other, very aware of the awkward silence between us.
"So, please tell me a little about yourself Miss Gatley." He props his elbows up on the table, crossing his fingers and slightly touching his mouth to his hands. His eyes probe me and I feel suddenly very naked in front of him.
"Um, well…" I look around, trying to figure what to say, I've never had a date before, "I am 24, I used to live in Ohio, I have a 3 year old son and I'm a hooker, that you once put in jail for, what can I say." I notice the venom in my voice near the end, slightly unintended, and yet he smiles at me, very gently.
"Yes, I did put you in jail, but I have no intentions of doing that at this moment, Miss Gatley." I'm confused. "I want to proposition you for a business deal, if you are willing to indulge me."
"What is it?" I'm interested to say the least, so I lean forward as if we were spies and about to discuss a secret mission.
"I'd like to spend some time with you during times my wife is out of town on trips, I want you to accompany me to certain things that we can discuss at a later time." A small fire is in his eyes, he is a man that loves talking business and contracts I imagine.
"And what about my son, I can't forget him." It's true, he does always get the bum end of the deal on everything.
"I don't wish to meet him, but if necessary we can find suitable care for him." Good, I don't want you seeing him or touching him anyways.
"And money?" I'm afraid that may be too rash and will make him throw away our plans.
"I'll pay about $120 and hour for your services, and if you accompany me to certain things I can increase the pay if you desire." It sounds too good to be true.
"Okay, sure, sounds fine." He holds out his hand and I shake it. After a small break we head back to the car and he helps me in, I buckle up as he seats himself. I take a moment to figure more out about him.
"So, do you love your wife?" The questions shocks us both as it comes out of my mouth.
"Of course I do, very much so, she's my everything." A twinkle in his eye tells me that it's the truth.
"Well, if you love her so much, why do you come looking for 'scum of the underground'?" I quote what he said to the judge about me years ago, he looks at me pained by my words.
"Grace and I….well, we have problems, we can't have children, we've adopted a boy, his name is Elliot...but still the pain of not having our own creates distance between us...we have our own ways of coping, she too has boyfriends on the side, as I have my own discretions. We love each other, but also enjoy the company of other people." This confuses me, but I just nod as if I understand and completely agree.
"We just have our own separate lives away from each other, and we're both okay with it."
"Oh." Is all I can think to say. After a small drive I'm back to my corner where he found me.
He pulls out his pocket and hands me a bundle of $20 bills and a business card. "Call me when you get home and we can sort out our arrangement. I look down for a moment then back at him.
"I don't have a phone." My mind fleets back to when Terry threw it out the window. Without hesitation he sifts through his wallet and pulls out a $50 bill and hands it to me.
"Buy one, then call." He smiles kindly and drives off without saying another word and without another glance.
Later that night, after Christian and I have gone shopping for food and a new phone I make us dinner, and we sit down to eat. A little while later, while Christian is watching something on television I hook up the new phone and dial Carrick.
It rings a few times before being picked up by a young woman's voice. "Grey residence, Tiffany speaking?" I tell her I need to speak to Mr. Grey and soon his deep melodic tone fills the speaker on my end.
"This is Carrick?" At first I don't know what to say and so I say nothing. He clears his throat a moment and I'm brought back to the present. "Is this Ella?" He chimes before I get a word out.
"Yes, sir, this is she." I hear a faint smile in the background.
"Tomorrow night at 8 o'clock, I'll pick you up and you're going to enjoy your time. Where do you live?" I give him the address, and a few minutes later after we hang up, I find myself smiling for some reason.
After a while, I give Christian a kiss on the forehead, lock him in the apartment and head to Michael's apartment.
XX
The next morning, I wake up, Christian is sleeping wrapped up in a blanket next to me, I snuggle in closer, and inhale the sweet scent that comes off of his hair, I really do love him very much. Eventually I slip away from him and head into the kitchen, we went shopping last night and have some food to cook, I think bacon and pancakes would really make Christian happy. I start to sing, an old favorite of mine; Christian likes it, too.
I vaguely hear him come into the living room and sit at the table. I turn to him and smile, asking him if he's hungry. Of course he's hungry….he's always hungry. After food is served we both chow down, eating like a pack of wolves that haven't eaten for weeks. After our bellies are filled we sit in silence. Today already seems like a good day, I'm not getting sick yet with the shakes or needs for drugs or vodka, but a cigarette after breakfast is always greatly enjoyed.
We both go into the bathroom and comb our hair and just enjoy each others company. I do notice my hands are starting to shake but I try to keep it away from Christian's view, I hate when he sees me hit withdrawals, it always scares him horribly. After getting dressed, we leave the apartment, hand-in-hand and walk to the park; this time he's not afraid of making sure I'm safe so he runs off to the slide and goes down it several times before switching to the swings where I have to push him to make him go, he still hasn't learned how to pump his legs to make himself go.
At this point I'm really starting to shake and feel cloudy in my head and sick to my stomach. I'm starting to forget where we are and why we're here. I notice Christian isn't swinging anymore, because I stopped pushing him, he's staring at me, as my face flushes and my skin starts to get clammy. Grabbing my hand he leads me back to the apartment. He sits in the corner of the couch, away from me while I start to turn the apartment over looking for some alcohol and some rock. I found a small rock of crack on the floor by the couch and a 5th of vodka in a cabinet in the kitchen. After smoking the crack and chugging some of the vodka I start to feel better.
Christian is staring at me again, a look of complete disapproval and I'm starting to get angry at him for staring at me like that. I stare back at him, waiting to see who will give in first. We both blink as we hear stomping coming from the hallway, Christian gets up and runs into the bedroom, I believe into my closet. Terry enters, without knocking of course, without saying a word, he plops down onto my couch.
"Hi, Terry. Need something?" I look at him, hoping for some type of reason as to why he's here.
"Just waiting for you to give me the money from the last 2 nights." This doesn't surprise me, it does surprise me he hasn't started swinging at me instead of patiently waiting. I go to the counter where the money from the last few johns is. I fold it and hand it to him, he counts the money quickly and pockets it.
I'm concerned why he's not in a mood today, and so quiet and patient. I'm wondering if he's paid off Jeff yet, or if that's why he's so quiet and even seems like he's slightly nervous. Oddly, without another word Terry stands and leaves the apartment, his boots echoing slightly as they leave down the hall. Christian peeks out from the room, making sure that Terry is gone and sits down in front of the tv, turning it on to cartoons.
The rest of our day goes by quietly, I'm vaguely aware that it starts raining outside and grows steadily darker. Before 8, I tell Christian I'm leaving, that if he has any problems to go find Old Lady Pat...He just stares back at me quietly. I kiss him goodbye and head out the door, locking it behind me.
Next Chapter: In the next coming weeks, Ella spins into a torrid affair with Carrick Grey, seemingly forgetting what she is, who she is and old promises she's made.
