January 4th, 1953
Ed was feeling tired and irritated when he got home from work a little early for once. It still felt a long day. He didn't enjoy Assembly meetings and reports, and he had been hijacked from teaching one of his favorite lectures to do just that and give some more input on the combat situation south of the border.
To top it off, he hadn't had a chance to talk to Winry. As he had predicted, she pulled two back-to-back all-nighters and the only sign that she had been home at all was another note on the refrigerator and a different set of snow-damp shoes at the door when she had apparently changed them out when she stopped by the house during the day.
Ed had only tried calling Rockbell Auto-Mail one more time, and that was last night. The same guy had picked up and, again, Winry wasn't available. Ed hadn't stayed on the line long. A second listen didn't make him feel any better. The guy had a deeper voice than he did and he sounded young. Not as young as Sara and them but definitely younger.
On top of a day of Assembly meetings, Ed had barely scraped through a rather difficult set of alchemy combat drills this afternoon. To make a point, he had taken on three other State Alchemists in a full all-on no holds barred alchemy battle. They were less experienced, and being new they hadn't been down in the combat zone. Ed had managed to defeat all three of them by playing it smart, but he had gotten a rather ugly dent in the casing of his auto-mail courtesy of one of them. He also had a pretty good headache going from where one of them had caught him in the head.
Ed hadn't expected Winry to be home, so he wasn't particularly disappointed when she wasn't. Well, Al had said to listen to what Winry had to say. Did nothing count? He changed into jeans and a t-shirt, poured himself a single glass of scotch and pulled one of the alchemy books off the shelf. He had an idea for a new way to counter one of the attacks that had been used on him today, so he might as well figure it out.
Half an hour later he was deep into research when he heard the door open and familiar footsteps in the hall. "What happened to you?" Winry asked. It was then Ed realized that the dent in his arm was rather visible.
"Just a little demonstration at work," Ed replied without looking up. "I have some enthusiastic colleagues." He shrugged off the flash of irritation.
"I'll say," Winry came over and put her hands on the metal.
Ed jerked his arm away. "Leave it alone."
"It needs to be fixed, Ed," Winry replied with exasperation. She tried to get a hold of it again.
"I said leave it!" Ed pulled away again. "I'm not in the mood to be poked and tinkered with right now and I don't feel like taking it off. Besides," he couldn't help making the reference, "All you've done for the last few days is work on auto-mail right? Take a break." Maybe he shouldn't bring it up right now, but he wanted to know.
Winry looked confused. "Yeah. We finished the order this afternoon. That's why I came home."
"Funny how it only took you four days," Ed stood up, leaving the book on the table as he met her eyes from an even standpoint. He hated arguing sitting down. "Of course you're just that thorough aren't you?"
There was clear confusion and a little wariness on Winry's part. "What do you mean?"
"Oh come on, Winry," Ed slammed his fist down on the table, making the book jump. "All you care about is auto-mail, admit it."
Winry's face went red. "And all you care about is alchemy! I've tried to take care of the rest of you, but you won't let me."
"More like you didn't feel like it." Not a word. He left her openings, but she didn't say a word about him. "Who was the guy who kept picking up the phone?"
"Guy?" She looked perplexed. "Oh, you mean Alec."
"Is that his name?" Ed asked. He didn't really care if he came on too harsh. He had to know what was going on.
Recognition dawned in Winry's eyes and he could see her going defensive. "Alec is a friend of mine, Edward. We worked together in Aerugo. He was helping me out with the order."
"On a holiday?" Ed found it hard to believe.
"I needed some help and I already gave everyone else a couple of days off," Winry explained hotly. "I didn't want to make them break plans when the order came in so I called Alec."
"You were always busy when I called," Ed replied. He realized he sounded surly, but he didn't care.
"I was working with the machinery," Winry exclaimed! "Do you really have the indecency to accuse me of cheating, Edward? Do you even believe for a second what you're implying?"
"If the circumstances fit," Ed retorted, though he was beginning to feel stupid for making the accusation. Still, how was he supposed to have known?
"I can't believe you!" Winry shouted back, enraged in a way Ed hadn't seen in a very long time. "You are such a selfish, self-righteous, paranoid, arrogant jerk!"
For the first time in years, Ed felt the resounding painful crack of metal against his already pounding skull. He staggered backwards, one hand over the spot just behind his ear where she had connected. "Yeah? Well while we're picking out all of my flaws, your cooking lately has been awful. No flavor at all. What have you been using to spice it with, sawdust?" If she was going to be a spiteful little bitch than why not just lay everything out?
"I've had heartburn," Winry replied, sticking the wrench back in her pocket. "So I toned it down a little. If you didn't like it you could have just said something earlier."
"Of course, you've got an excuse for everything lately don't you?" Ed asked. It sure seemed like it. Headaches, heart burn, cramps, it was always something. "Why am I suffering for it?"
"Is your stomach all you think about?" Winry snorted.
"What about you," Ed retorted with an unpleasant smirk. "At least I'm not the one griping because nothing fits."
"How could you?" Winry was still glaring, but there were tears in her eyes. She was always emotional. Then she scowled, and Ed knew he wasn't to like whatever she said next. "You're drunk again, aren't you?"
"So what of it?" Ed barked. "And no, actually, I'm not." Not yet, but he didn't say that out loud.
"If you don't believe me about Alec, am I supposed to believe you with an empty glass on the table?" Winry countered coldly. "Let's see if the same logic holds up in the opposite direction shall we?"
"Damn it, Winry, I've got it under control!" He did, really. Couldn't she see that? Why was she the only woman around who seemed to have no faith in her husband's ability to take care of himself?
"No you don't! I know you're hurting, Edward," Winry shook her head. "I saw what you saw. I heard what you went through. And I understand that it's painful. But damn it I'm hurting too!" She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and words poured out almost too fast for Ed to understand them. "Just please stop doing this to yourself! Every time you're hurting you draw in on yourself, you refuse to let anyone else help and instead of standing up on your own two feet anymore you curl up and fall apart! This is what I've been trying to avoid more than anything else. I know you don't want to hurt me, Ed. Believe it or not I've been listening. But this is another one of those decisions you always make on your own. And you know what, it's a lousy one!"
Ed wasn't sure if Winry ran out of words, or just out of air, but at that point she dissolved into tears. Ed couldn't yell at that. It was like picking a fight with a starving kitten. It was just mean and there was no sport in it. The wind fell out of him like it abandoned the canvas of a sailing ship. "You're right." The words just came out of his mouth, though they were barely a whisper. "I'm sorry, Winry."
January 15th, 1953
Winry wasn't sure if the awkward silences were better than fighting, but she had gotten used to them. Still, it was like living in a dream; more like a nightmare. Outside of their house, the world went on as normal. The war continued in Aerugo, though on a smaller scale. At Military Headquarters alchemists got trained, meetings were held, and the day to day bureaucracy needed to run the military and the Country continued in Central.
Sara and she met and talked sometimes over lunch, and Sara babbled about wedding plan ideas. She and Franz had set a date for the end of May, and Winry had never seen her daughter so excited about an event. Winry also got all the HQ gossip from her daughter lately. She talked to Riza and Elicia but with the war she was swamped with work and didn't have free time like she used to. She knew about Marcus and Rachel's baby, and Maes and Elena's house, and a dozen other things. In exchange, Winry kept Sara apprised of how Cal Fischer's surgery had gone, and what she heard about his therapy, which was going slowly but steadily. He wouldn't be back on active military duty for a couple of years though, if he decided to stick it out and go back to being a State Alchemist when he was done.
It seemed like everyone's lives were going on and rebuilding, while hers was falling apart. Edward hadn't raised his voice to her once since that night but now he didn't say much at all. The following weekend he had allowed her to take off both his arm and leg and give them a full over-haul. They needed it. Even after the war he had been reluctant to have her do more than critical maintenance and it showed. She offered to design something new, but wasn't surprised when Ed turned the offer down.
Winry made a point of not harping on Ed about how much he drank or when, and that actually seemed to be helping. Ed hadn't come home drunk since New Year's and while he might still have a drink or two in the evenings, at least it wasn't every night. Winry could live with that. The last two weeks had been much less intense. They weren't talking much, but maybe Ed was finally getting to a point where eventually they could mend things.
He still worked late, and Winry found herself more and more often eating at Gracia's. If she didn't, she probably would never have had the chance to spend much time with Ethan anymore either. Her son came home to get things he needed from his room, but he insisted that they didn't need him in the way right now.
"You're not in the way," Winry assured him, giving him a hug that he returned desperately. "You never could be, Ethan. Please don't ever think that." They spent time together at the workshop too when Ethan wasn't at the hospital, where he assisted more often as his healing alchemy skills improved. Ethan was getting pretty good with auto-mail engineering though. He could do any of the necessary maintenance that might come up, and a lot of the more unusual fixes. Most recently he had started on some designs. Winry was proud of her youngest son. Despite everything that was going on he wasn't hanging his head and feeling sorry for himself. He kept moving forward.
Winry just hoped Edward would remember his own advice.
January 18th, 1953
Winry was beginning to think that this might be the coldest winter in Central since she had moved here. Snow was falling again and had been all day. There were four inches of accumulation outside from the past few weeks of on and off snow. The occasional melt made the roads and sidewalks slick with ice.
She was glad to get home where it was warm and quiet after another very long day. She had performed four auto-mail surgeries that morning, and then spent the rest of the afternoon on design and repairs. They were so busy lately, even with everyone working, and it was all because of the war. When Alec had offered to continue helping out, Winry had definitely taken him up on the offer. She hadn't mentioned Edward's ridiculous accusation that there might be something going on. As if she would ever be interested in a man almost half her age!
Winry changed out of her work clothes and slipped into more casual clothes for lounging around the house. She didn't feel like going out anywhere else tonight in this weather and Edward had the car. As she put the kettle on for tea, the phone rang. Winry picked it up. "Hello?"
"Hi, Mom," Aldon's voice came over the line, warm and cheerful as usual. "How are things up there in the frigid city?"
"Very funny." Still, Winry couldn't resist the small chuckle that came out of her. "Frigid, as you said. It's been snowing."
"Lots of rain down here, but very little snow since the year started," Aldon replied conversationally. "Though we had a little bit end of last year."
Winry smiled. "Did Coran like the snow?"
"Oh he loved it," Aldon chuckled. "We played in it for hours until Cassie made us come in. She said it made her cold just watching us."
"Speaking of Cassie, is she weathering the winter all right?" she asked. She knew that the gentler winters of Resembool were much better suited to her daughter-in-law's slight frame and sensitivity to cold.
"Just fine," Aldon replied, sounding a little smug. "Not a cold in sight and she doesn't get as cold as she used to."
"I would imagine not," Winry said knowingly. Having a couple of children did tend to solve that problem too. "How are the boys?"
As always, that question led off into a long and always delightful series of stories about Coran's latest escapades as well as Aldon's fatherhood adventures with challenges like potty training. Also included were the new stories of Reichart, who was now exactly two months old. It was funny, Winry thought, how the stories about a little one who did very little in comparison could be just as exciting. It was the promise of things to come which always made her enjoy hearing about each new experience and moment with a young child. It was exciting to watch them grow into the people they would become.
"You know, you and Dad should come visit soon," Aldon said when he finished the stories. "We haven't seen you since Dublith. Cassie's folks came out to visit for a week last month. It was pleasant, but you know we really like seeing you guys." Winry caught what he really meant. Aldon found his own parents less stressful.
"That sounds wonderful," Winry admitted regretfully. "But I don't think it will be soon, Aldon. I've been swamped with work lately."
"And Dad?"
"He's been working late a lot," Winry replied effusively. While she suspected that Aldon knew at least as much about what was going on as Sara and Ethan – surely he still talked to his siblings – he never pressed.
"Then it really sounds like you could both use the vacation," Aldon chuckled, true to form. "If nothing else, we'll see you at Sara's wedding in a few months. Wow, I was beginning to think I'd never be able to say that."
"Well I've never seen your sister so wrapped up in something girly," Winry admitted, glad to shift topics and talk about happy news. "Every time we talk she's in the middle of planning something else." She and Ed were covering most of the cost of course but Sara was so practical that, even with all her plans, the budget was more than reasonable so far, so Winry had been letting Sara do pretty much whatever she wanted.
"Yeah, I hear a lot of wedding planning when I call her too," Aldon admitted, obviously smiling on the other end of the line. "I'm glad though. I think it keeps her from thinking about the war."
Winry nodded. "I actually get the feeling that's part of why Franz proposed when he did," she admitted. She had speculated on it for a while, and that was her theory at least. Her soon to be son-in-law was sensitive enough to Sara's needs and moods to take that into account.
"That sounds right," Aldon agreed. "I was kind of thinking the same thing."
"Nice to know we still think alike," Winry chuckled. It was reassuring to know that someone still understood her. Some days she wasn't entirely sure she was going just a little crazy.
"Hey," Aldon replied. "I learned from the best, Mom."
February 1st, 1953
Somehow during Edward's time away, it seemed like the amount of paperwork involved in his job running the State Alchemy Program had tripled. Or perhaps he had just blocked the horrors of it from his mind. In comparison, his paperwork as a General with an entire Division under him seemed relatively painless. Still, he didn't really mind. It kept him busy and distracted, which meant that he could keep his thoughts from wandering in directions that depressed or annoyed him.
He was going to be late for dinner again tonight he suspected, but he really did need to finish the expense reports for the last month to turn in to Breda and the financial offices as soon as possible. So Ed resigned himself to working through dinner. That was the only reason he was still in his office after everyone else should have left for the evening. So it was very noticeable when he heard some quiet voices and chuckles in the hall outside his office. Curiosity got the best of him and Ed decided to investigate. He got up, opened his office door, and stepped into the hallway.
Three State Alchemists – none above the rank of Major or older than twenty-five years old – stopped cold in the hall, their arms loaded down with boxes. They looked like they would have dropped the boxes and saluted but were afraid to. Ed recognized them at once. "Polasky, Finn, Lordes; Do I want to know what's in those boxes and where you're going with them at HQ after six in the evening?"
It was Finn who dared to speak up. He grinned. "Umm…hey, Fullmetal. What are you doing here so late?"
"Paperwork," Ed smirked, "And waiting for you to answer my question."
"You're working too hard," Lordes shook his head. "Why don't you come out with us tonight instead?"
Out? This should be interesting. "And just what's going on?"
"Dirk's getting hitched next week," Polasky chimed in, referring to Dirk Chambers, another one of the younger State Alchemists. "We're throwing the bachelor party. Come on and have a little fun. It's over at Brannigan's."
That was one of the pub restaurants in town, not too far from HQ. It wasn't far, and Ed's stomach was reminding him that he'd skimped on lunch. Besides, he hadn't spent a lot of time getting to know some of the newer alchemists. Not with the war, and before that the trip to Xing. "Sure, why not. Sounds great." He ducked back into his office long enough to grab his brown winter coat and then followed.
He didn't have the car tonight, but it was only about a ten minute walk even in the frigid winter weather. The three alchemists with him chatted and planned as they ran through last minute details. During that time, Ed picked up that it was a friend of Finn's who was currently managing the place and had been willing to give them the entire back room at a major discount – plus a flat bar fee – for the evening.
"How does that work?" Ed couldn't help asking as the guys finished up with the decorations.
Finn's grinned broadened. "It means we paid and everyone gets all their drinks covered for as much as they want. No worries about running up a tab we can't pay later."
"It must be good to have friends in the business," Ed chuckled.
It wasn't long before the party started. Ed actually knew most of the guys who showed up through the doors. The majority of them were alchemists or other officers and staff from Headquarters. At least half of them hadn't taken the time to change and were in pants and shirt sleeves. Ed had at least shed his jacket with rank. The only thing that marked him as higher ranking than most of the people here – aside from obvious recognition – was the fact that he was in the collared uniform shirt instead of one of the black tee-shirts that could also be worn under the uniform.
It was a little weird to be out with this many subordinate officers in a social situation. It had been a long time since Ed felt comfortable enough to hang out with them. Not because he didn't like the current lot, but because most of the ones he used to spend time with easily were getting older, just like he was, and had lives and families. So he got a beer and resigned himself to congratulating Chambers and watching the fun. At least that was the plan.
"Come on, Fullmetal," Finn dared to nudge him with an elbow after a while. "Live it up! You hardly do your infamy justice."
"Since when am I infamous?" Ed quirked an eyebrow.
"Let's just say the legends are a lot more interesting than spending time with reality." Finn was a bold one all right! "At least sit down and play a game of cards. You know how right?"
Did he know how to play cards? Yeah, the stories really were out of date. Ed shrugged casually. "Sure, why not? I think I can manage a game or two."
Within an hour Ed was sure Finn wished he had never suggested that Ed join them for a few hands. From the moment Ed shuffled and dealt, Finn had to know he'd just been bluffed. Ed could deal a hand with his eyes closed if he had to. He had an absolute blast demonstrating just how badly Finn had misjudged him; half of the other alchemists at the table were out of cash by the time Ed was done with them.
"I think I've been had," Finn sighed into his third drink as he tossed his last stack of sens Ed's direction. "No one told us you could play."
"Never play a game of chance with a man whose life depends on turning chance into strategy," Ed grinned and waved the server over and ordered another drink. "You want a chance to win it back?"
"No thanks!" Finn laughed and the rest of the guys at the table shook their heads. "I've already lost enough tonight. I'd like to walk out of here with my dignity."
"If you do than this isn't much of a party," Polasky smirked.
Indeed. After all, it was a bachelor party. While it started out reasonably tame – as far as drinks and cards went – it only got wilder from there. Not that it was anything too wild for Ed to handle. He had been to plenty of the things over the years. Heck, he'd helped head up a few! As the night wore on he relaxed. For the first time in a very long time people were glad to just have him around. No one here seemed to care who he was by the second round of cards. Tonight he could just be another guy celebrating life and having a good time.
Like any really good bachelor party – except Al's, and then only because Ed had insisted on saving his brother from Elicia's wrath – there was a dancing girl. While Ed wasn't sure where Finn had found her, even he had to admit the woman was a knock-out: with long, tightly curled red hair that cascaded down her back and swayed with the rest of her and brilliant blue eyes; a waist tiny enough that Ed couldn't imagine how she kept it and hips and bust that were accented by the tight outfit she wore in shimmering blue fabric. Her movements reminded him a little of the Roma, but with a much more sexual overtone to them. Still, she was obviously a trained dancer; Ed had learned over the years how to tell the difference.
When she finished her initial show – and had Chambers blushing from his nose to his boots – Ed turned back to the table and a fresh set of card players who were sure they could take him on. He had only just started to shuffle though when Jehanette – the red head – dropped right down into his lap and wrapped her supple arms around his neck, plantings a kiss firmly on his cheek. "Hello there, General," she grinned wickedly, flashing delicate white teeth and winking at him. "Aren't you dashing?" Her perfume wafted up into his nose. "I don't usually get to have such a prestigious audience."
Ed couldn't ignore the feel of her hips on his lap, or her chest pressed against his where he couldn't look anywhere without it in his sight. He might have found her more alluring though, if she hadn't been young enough to be Sara's twin.
As he opened his mouth to respond, a hand rested on her shoulder and tugged the girl away with a laugh. "He's married, babe," Lordes commented, winking at Ed with a 'you owe me for the save' grin as he swatted the girl on her ass and guided her away. "There's plenty of guys here you can flirt with who don't have wives that'll kill you later."
Jehanette pouted and tossed Ed a rather seductive good bye look, but then – as he would have expected – she was flirting with the next available guy. It was all work to her. Ed shook himself and went back to dealing. Still, he couldn't help feeling a little warmed inside by the encounter. It had been a while since a woman – any woman – had looked at him that way. At least that he had noticed.
"Can't have your glass empty tonight, man," Finn smirked as he leaned over and glanced into Ed's cup. "Try some of this stuff," he dumped it in from a bottle with a label Ed didn't immediately recognize.
"What is it?" Ed picked up his glass and sniffed curiously.
"A little home recipe," Finn grinned broadly. "My old man invented it."
Well then he wouldn't offend by not trying it. Ed took a sip and tasted, waiting for it to hit his stomach as he analyzed the flavor. It was a rich, sweet mix, a little like cream liquor but even sweeter, with a bolder blend of spices, and a serious kick that came several seconds later. "Wow," Ed blinked, shook his head a little, and grinned. "He was some kind of genius right?"
"That's what I told him," Finn grinned. "Enjoy! I brought plenty. That's what was in the boxes," he added, waggling his eyebrows.
"I'll keep that in mind," Ed laughed, then finished dealing and looked at his hand. He had most of a royal flush already sitting right there in his hand. It was all Ed could do not to grin evilly over his cards at the rest of the table. This was definitely his night!
Edward had thought he had forgotten how to relax, but for the first time in a while he had obviously found the ability again. He felt good as he made his way up the porch stairs, avoided slipping on the icy patch that had formed at the top, and went inside. He had been lucky; one of the other alchemists had offered him a ride home. If not, Ed didn't really think he would have wanted to try getting home alone this late in this weather. He knew his limits, and when he was too drunk to try it.
It was late. A glance at the clock told Ed it was after eleven. That meant Winry was probably in bed. She went to bed early most nights. Ed hung up his jacket, kicked off his boots, and headed for the kitchen, humming one of the tunes that had been playing on the radio at the party. A glass of water before bed would be a wise thing.
"So where have you been?"
Ed stopped and turned to glance into the rest of the living room. It was only then that he realized he had completely missed Winry sitting on the couch and the lamp that was still on. She looked mad. "I worked late."
"I called your office," Winry shook her head. "But there was no answer. I tried calling Al's house, but he hadn't seen you either." She paused, glaring, and then her expression darkened suddenly.
What was this about? He came home late all the time. Okay, not usually this late. "I was invited to Major Chambers' bachelor party."
Winry stood up and crossed the room, her eyes focused intently on him. Ed almost took a step back, but made himself hold his ground as she wiped her fingers across his face. "So what's this?" She held her hand up showing a smear of bright red.
"It's nothing," Ed replied, scowling. It took him a moment to figure out what the hell the stuff was before he remembered Jehanette's very brief interaction with him.
"Nothing?" Okay, that was the wrong answer. Winry's face went livid. "You come home five hours late without telling me where you went and you come in like this?" She tossed both hands in the air as she gestured at him. "Do you have any idea how worried I've been?"
Ed's good mood completely evaporated as his temper snapped. "Oh will you shut up already and stop bitching?" He glared. What nerve! "That's all you do lately. I come home and get nagged at or completely ignored. So what if I decided to have a little fun tonight? It's the only good time I've had since I got home. The first in almost two damned years! You keep telling me to open up, to relax, to let myself move on, but the minute I do something I actually enjoy you go and get pissed at me!"
"Who was she?" Winry still had her palm up, red smear evident, and her blue eyes went hard as steel.
"Oh her?" Ed scoffed and shrugged. "Just some dancer the guys hired for the party; hot body, but too thin for my tastes."
"You talk like you actually have experience," Winry put her hand down.
"I know what I like," Ed replied hotly. He was probably making her madder at this point, but he didn't care. Why should he? She obviously didn't; playing at placating and then going off the handle when he actually tried to do what she suggested. He was sick of this bull-shit! "But since there's been a rather dramatic lack of that around lately what am I supposed to do instead I'd like to know?"
Winry's eyes brimmed wetly. "It's not my fault."
"And it's supposed to be mine?" Ed asked incredulously. "Are you saying this whole mess is my fault?"
"I'm saying you're making things harder and worse than they have to be!" Winry started crying. "I'm the only one here trying anymore, Edward! But if you'd really rather be out at some testosterone-laden pre-mating ritual with some tramp than here with me I—"
"Shut up!" He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't stand to hear what she was about to say next, because he was almost certain he knew what it was. Ed wasn't sure who was the more surprised between them when his auto-mail fist connected with the side of Winry's face.
She stumbled backwards with a cry of pain, slamming into the edge of the shelf that ran atop the cabinets in the wall of the living room, her hand covering her face.
Ed's heart almost stopped. Shit! Where had that come from? He'd never purposefully struck Winry in his life. The adrenaline drained out of him as she turned and gave him the most heart-wrenching look Ed had ever seen.
Winry staggered upright and ran from the room.
Bloody, frickin' hell. "Winry, wait!" Ed turned and ran after her. He hadn't meant to hit her! He tripped on the stairs, twice, before he made it to the bedroom door. "Winry?" He knocked.
"Leave me alone, Edward!" Inside the room, he could hear her sobbing. He tried the door anyway. It was locked.
"Please let me in," Ed pleaded. "Winry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hit you like that. I just…" Just what? What had possessed him to physically attack her?
They couldn't take it. Finally, my wife just left. Knox's words came unbidden to Ed's mind. The man had gotten violent after Ishbal, he said. He had beaten his wife. Was that what Ed was turning into?
Inside the room there was no response to his begging except the sound of Winry's tears. Then, at his feet, Ed heard soft growling. He looked down and saw Bounce crouched near his feet, looking at up him with her ears back. She was growling at him. "Yeah, I know girl," Ed sighed and crossed the hall, going into the other bedroom instead. "I'm a real first class ass-hole." How was he going to make up for this disaster?
February 2nd, 1953
Alphonse was concerned when he hadn't seen Edward around Headquarters by ten in the morning. Ed was supposed to be helping him tag-team teach the advanced fighting class for the program students. The exams were coming and, while combat wasn't on them, it was a good way to keep them from hyper-focusing and allow them to blow off a little steam by trying to take their aggression out on their teachers!
He was half way down to the classroom when he crossed paths with two other State Alchemists who were looking particularly bleary-eyed. "Finn, Lordes," Al waved them down. "Have you seen Fullmetal anywhere?"
Both of the younger men shook their heads. "Well, not since last night," Finn added with an amused grin. "He came with us to Chambers' bachelor party. It was a blast!"
Lordes chuckled, nodding enthusiastically. "I had no idea he could play cards like that and damn, talk about tolerance! If I drank like that I'd be dead in the morning."
Al felt a sinking in the pit of his stomach, something like impending doom. He was familiar with what that actually felt like.
"Umm, True Soul, Sir?" Finn was looking at him with some concern. "Is there a problem?"
Al shook himself and tried not to look too concerned. "I hope not."
"Damn it, Winry!" Ed shouted in a panic as he dragged himself out of the shower, one eye on the clock. "Why didn't you wake me up?" It was freaking Noon! He did not get a reply immediately, which told him she was definitely up, but probably downstairs. Or she had simply left him passed out and gone to work. That seemed the more likely answer. Grumbling, Ed hurried back into his room, toweling off as he went, and snagged the cleanest uniform shirt he had off the pile of clean laundry. It only took him a couple of minutes to get dressed. Damn it, Breda was going to kill him! Why today of all days?
The very idea of breakfast made his stomach turn, and his head was pounding like he had a horse – or maybe Alex Armstrong – playing kettle drums inside his skull. Ed practically ran down the stairs. He needed something on his stomach though, or he wouldn't make it through work. He skidded to a stop when he saw Winry sitting at the table, calmly sipping a cup of tea. She looked up and met his eyes with a very cool stare.
She was still mad about last night. Not that Ed blamed her. He winced as he looked at the really nasty purple bruise his fist had left on her left cheek, just under her eye. Ed's instinct was to lash out at anything with his left arm because he had taught himself to block with the auto-mail first. He never wanted to hurt people unnecessarily. And yet last night he had struck with his right. That was a fighting move, and he still wasn't sure why he had done it. Losing his temper was no excuse. He sighed. "Look, Winry, I'm sorry about last night. I was just…"
"Drunk?" Winry asked him with a cool stare. Her tone was worrisome for its calmness. "Or just proving that you're deaf and so self-absorbed that you can't offer anyone else a little support? That you really have changed? That you're not the same person you used to be? Well congratulations."
"Winry, please don't be like this," Ed swallowed a wave of nausea and tried to reach out for her hand. "I didn't mean to hit you."
Winry pulled her hand away and picked up her cup again. "This isn't just about that, Edward," she replied distantly. "And it's not just about you or about me. I know how you feel about me, but I also know that things can't keep going on like this."
"Look, I'm trying!" Ed slumped back and didn't try to touch her again. The clock a little behind her caught his eye. Damn it he was going to be dead if he didn't get out of here.
Winry noticed. Her eyes glanced in the same direction and a small frown furrowed her brow. "You may be here physically, but emotionally I don't think I've actually seen you in a long time."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Ed was lost. He had apologized for the things he had done. He was trying hard to be what she wanted, even though lately he wasn't entirely sure he knew what that was. He just wanted to be the person he apparently hadn't been.
Winry set down her cup. "I think we need a break, Edward." She kept using his full name. That was never a good sign. "Some time apart to work out our own problems. I can't do this anymore, not like this."
Wait… "Are you threatening to leave?" Ed frowned. This wasn't even remotely funny. "You're kidding me right? I've been working my ass off to be everything you ask and now you pull this?" He shook his head. The nerve! "Look, I'm already dead as it is. I was supposed to give a report for Breda to the Assembly four hours ago! When I get home we can sit down and talk about this rationally." He turned and went to grab his coat. "See you later," he called out as he went out the front door.
Ed drove over to HQ at the speed limit even though he really wanted to step on the gas and get there quickly. He was already screwed over so what did it matter? He had missed the meeting, he had missed the class he was supposed to help Alphonse with, and he had a hangover that made him wish he were still unconscious in bed. Sleeping it off was a luxury he did not have. Could the day get any worse?
Ed decided to start with the most painful part of the afternoon. He headed straight for Breda's office to admit his stupidity. There was apparently a line, so he stood in the outer office, drank water, and waited.
"Good afternoon, Sir," Franz smiled at him from his desk.
Ed nodded at his daughter's fiancé and offered up a pleasant smile despite his mood. "Afternoon, Heimler. How's your day going?"
"Good, thanks." Franz seemed glad to get an affirmative reply, "Taking Sara out for dinner tonight."
"Well I'd hope so," Ed grinned and they shared a chuckle.
Feury came out of Breda's office a moment later followed by a couple of bureaucrats Ed didn't recognize. "Breda's ready for you, Ed," he gave Ed a sympathetic look that told him that he was really in for it.
As soon as the door closed behind Ed, Breda opened his mouth. "You'd really better have a damned good explanation for this," he frowned, angrier than Ed was used to seeing him. "We've had that meeting scheduled for two weeks! I had to get them to agree to an extra session just to discuss approval for the improvement to the training facilities and expediting getting the alchemists out of the areas where they aren't needed. And then you have the fantastic sense to come waltzing in here almost five hours late. Not even a call!"
Ed stood there at attention, taking it like any good officer would. Not that any good officer would be in this position. It was his fault. He had acted like a rank newbie officer last night. Going out late, getting absolutely plastered the night before a critical session, and not having the sense to set an alarm clock. He owned one; great invention. Normally his internal clock had him up early enough that even when he slept in he wasn't late. He waited patiently for Breda to finish the well deserved dressing down.
Finally Breda ran out of steam. "All right, Ed," he sighed. "You can grovel now."
"I'm sorry," Ed replied simply. "There's not really much else I can say, and I know none of it will do any good. I was celebrating last night, more than I should have."
A light of apparent understanding lit in Breda's eyes, and his expression softened a little as he smirked. "I see. Well don't think it gets you off the hook, but after making me give that entire speech without the prepared notes or your fantastic charisma, you owe me one."
That…was it? Ed had really expecting something harsher. "Yes, Sir."
"Get the hell out of my office and go figure out how you're going to manage that," Breda said, then shoved a large stack of papers on his desk towards him. "You can start with those. They're requisition forms from Bueáire that need to be itemized and sorted and sent down to the Quartermaster's office before the end of the day."
Ed picked up the stack and nodded. He had no idea why Breda hadn't ripped into him even more for his behavior, but he wasn't going to argue with good luck! "I'm on it."
"Good. Dismissed." Breda waved him away with one hand. Yeah, he would be pissed for a while, but apparently he would get over it.
It took Ed a couple of hours to get the paperwork sorted, approved, and down to the right offices. He was on his way back to his office when he saw Al coming down an intersecting hallway. Well, now seemed like a decent time to apologize. "Hey, Al," he waved his brother down. Al saw him, and a look of relief crossed his face. Why relief? Ed had expected him to be as angry as Breda. "I'm sorry about this morning."
Al shrugged as he fell into step beside Ed and they kept walking towards Ed's office. "The class went all right," he replied neutrally. He didn't say anything else until they were behind the privacy of closed doors. "Ed, I talked to Breda after you got here."
"Yeah, so?" Ed frowned, a little confused by his brother's behavior. "What's the matter?"
Al was clearly upset about something. "He was under the impression that you were late this morning because you were with Winry last night."
What? "Well we do live in the same house," Ed shrugged. "I have no idea why that's relevant though."
"I also saw Finn and Lordes this morning," Al continued. "And they said you were at Chambers' bachelor party last night until late."
"Well yeah," Ed nodded. "That's what I tried to tell Breda, but he didn't ask for details." What was Al getting at? "I was working late and caught them in the hall on their way over. They invited me and I figured it might be good to go ahead and go. It seemed to help morale."
His answer only made Al's scowl deeper. "Ed, do you have any idea what day yesterday was?"
"Monday," Ed snorted. "Like the first day of every work week. What's with the questions?" A sick feeling that had nothing to do with the remnants of his hang-over started to turn his stomach when Al's expression turned to one of mild horror. What the hell?
"Edward. What was yesterday's date?" Al picked up the calendar from Ed's desk and shoved it in his face.
"What's wrong with you, Al? I—" Ed froze as he looked at the calendar. He hadn't even noticed that it was February. The day under Al's thumb made him go cold in the middle.
SHIT.
Edward didn't care about the speed limit on the way home. He was just lucky none of the Central police pulled him over. Damn it! How the hell had he completely missed their anniversary? Twenty eight years and until now he had never missed it. How could he? Why hadn't Winry said anything this morning? Her words came back to him and he felt panic setting in. Winry wouldn't really leave would she?
There was a taxi outside the house when Ed came around the corner. He pulled up to the house with a screech of tires and ran for the door. The taxi's trunk was open and already full of luggage. Inside, there were two suitcases still in the hallway and Winry standing there, keys in hand, dressed in one of her good traveling suits.
"What are you doing?" Ed gasped, the words coming out in a high squeak he hadn't heard since he was thirteen. "Winry!"
She seemed surprised to see him, but she picked up her bags. Her eyes were wet, like she had been crying and might start again at any moment. Her voice was quietly resigned. "You never listen. I told you this morning." He suspected she would have walked out the door except that he was standing in the open doorway, blocking it. "I've already made arrangements for things at the shop to run without me for a while. You don't have to do anything about that."
This wasn't happening. "You can't leave!" He would beg, plead, anything, but this could not be happening!
Winry shook her head and looked away, worrying her lip between her teeth. "We can't help each other if we can't help ourselves, Edward." Standing there like that, with her hair down, a large-brimmed hat on her head, she looked almost just like when she was sixteen. "And I'm not strong enough to do this anymore."
"Where are you going?" Ed asked softly.
"Resembool," Winry replied, looking back up at him with a resolute expression. "Aldon said I was welcome to stay at the house."
At least it wasn't another country. "When will you come back?"
Winry shrugged. "I don't know."
"When you'll be back… or if?" Ed wasn't sure he wanted to know, but he had to.
Winry shook her head. "I don't know," she repeated in the same tone.
Ed felt something inside him break as she moved forward, and he was too stunned not to step out of the way instinctively as she pushed past. Winry didn't say another word, and all Ed could do was stare as she walked down to the taxi, put her last bags in the trunk, closed it, and climbed in. Something in his head screamed for him to move! Do something! Get going, idiot! But his body wouldn't cooperate. The world was shattering slowly around him. His feet were rooted to the floor and he wasn't even sure he was breathing.
Then the taxi pulled away and all that was framed in the doorway was the empty stretch of street and the snow covered house and lawn across from them. Cold air whipped in from outside and chilled his nose, but he barely registered the sensation.
Winry was gone.
