So…. Hi, I guess
It feels weird writing to a someone I don't know, I mean, you didn't even give me a name and you obviously know my name. Maybe this is all just one big prank or you are someone who is close to me and trying to get me to talk, if I'm right about that please stop this. Stop writing me, stop fooling me, stop thinking something is wrong while there isn't. You don't even need to tell me your name just don't write more letters if I know you, okay? Thanks.
If I don't know you, I'm curious to get to know you. But, I'm not going to talk to you like you're my therapist and as I said before, I'm fine. It should be more like friends who live far away from each other, I know we don't because I saw the stamp on your last letter and it was from New York. But then again, New York is really big. I'll admit it's tempting to go look for you. Although you only send me one letter and I should not be whining like a little bitch.
I just ignored this woman wanting to pass by because I was writing the last sentence and now everyone is looking at me weird, I don't like it. I'm meeting up with a friend of mine but he's late, like usual. Next time I should be late just to make him feel how it feels to be lonely while waiting for someone, I can write this now but normally I just sit and look around awkwardly. Oh wait there he comes, I'll continue this letter later.
It's 1 am now and I'm trying to repair my glasses, I dropped the goddamned things at a party. The party was lit but after my glasses broke I couldn't see shit and the fun was gone so I went home. Cool story huh, do you know how expensive glasses are? I do, fucking expensive! And right now I can't afford to get new ones right now, I can actually but I hate going to some dude (always dudes) with some degree from some fancy pants university that somehow knows what I see and dares to tell me my vision is ten times much worse than it is. I'm sorry, I get frustrated when smart people misuse their brains for stupid or illegal things. I had a girlfriend once who is a perfect example of that, she was so smart and so bright. She was a blonde girl from a good family and she had the brains but she was a drug dealer and I don't even know why or how she got into that. I knew almost nothing about her past, I always assumed she lived a happy life as a child. I probably shouldn't tell you any of this, but you probably don't know who I'm talking about so it's okay. I still can't fix these damn glasses, I'm so frustrated, I want to throw them at a wall. Or scrunch them up, or put them on the train rails and wait for the train to come by.
You know what, fuck it. I'll do it tomorrow or something. Sleep, I need sleep now. I'll post this letter tomorrow too, sorry for writing so much bullshit down. Please tell me your name, or not even your name, just any name will do. I want to be able to think that I know who I'm talking to.
Sincerely,
Alex Vause.
I close the letter, I have tears in my eyes and I hate it because I shouldn't cry about my ex but I can't help it. I wouldn't call this crying though, it's more tearing up or something. It's funny that Alex wrote about me, she's right about most things. How my "talents" are wasted on the drugs, well, about that. Kubra called earlier and asked me to work for him again, it's not really involved with drugs. I'm basically babysitting his houses in different countries while he's not there, I immediately said yes. That means I can travel again and I don't even have to do anything for it! It sucks leaving Nicky behind but maybe she can visit sometime. And you know what the best part is about all of this, Alex will never be able to find me even if she does come looking for me! And the fact that I get payed a lot is nice too.
I have to say goodbye to everyone (Nicky…..) and then I have to pack a bag, I'm so excited! I should inform Ruby too, I'll call her right away.
XXXXXXXX
"what do you mean you found a job!?" Nicky doesn't sound happy
"you really need me to answer that?"
"no… what kind of job is it?"
"so don't get mad" I sight "I have to babysit Kubra's houses"
"what? Are you saying what I think you're saying? Are you mad? Are you completely out of it?"
"listen Nicky, Kubra is like a father to me, he would never let anything happen to me"
"I don't trust him, him and his world"
"if you don't like me going alone, com with me"
"no" Nicky shakes her head "I can't do that"
"why not? You have as many friends as I do and you just have to ask Red, wouldn't it be awesome? Traveling the world together?"
Nicky thinks about it for a second "well I suppose we could ask Red"
And that is what we did, Red agreed after some begging and we started packing our shit. I wrote a letter to Alex to let her know the new situation:
Dear Alex,
You can call me Ana, I was glad to see your response to my letter. I'm curious about this woman you're talking about, please tell me more. And don't smash your glasses, you sound like you need them! This is going to be a short letter because I don't have much time and wanted to tell you about things that are going to happen in the next few days. I will be going to Indonesia and I will be staying at the address I wrote at the bottom of this page, when the address changes I will tell you. Sorry for the extra costs, by the way you don't have to apologize about rambling, I like reading that. I included a new pair of glasses, your friend told me the kind you were and some of the other details. Please be careful with the new pair.
Sincerely Ana (still your on paper therapist)
I put the glasses and the letter in a box and drop it in front of Alex' door in the middle of the night, not because we have to but because we were driving past it anyway on our way to the airport. I'm really excited because I love traveling and I can now finally do that again, with my best friend. Nicky is looking at me like I'm crazy, she might be right. We pay the driver and get out of the car, after that we walk into the airport and it takes us another hour to get to the right gate. After waiting at the gate for like 30 minutes we can finally board the plane. It's a long flight, I brought a notebook but I left it in my bag so I can't reach that. I chose the second best thing to do on a plane, sleeping. I sleep for like almost the entire flight and when I wake up I look at Nicky, on her little table are like ten empty bags of peanuts. I start laughing, she ate all my peanuts.
