Chapter 4


After lunch, Jiraiya and Minato did the dishes while Kakashi and his teammates stayed sitting around the kitchen table. Minato washed, and Jiraiya dried. It was a good time to talk amongst themselves without arousing suspicion.

"How long can you stay?" Jiraiya asked quietly. "Kakashi-kun seems to like you being here…" He put a plate back into the cupboard.

"I'm staying all day," Minato said. "Kushina understands. She'll be by later with a meal. She wants to help, too." He handed Jiraiya a bowl.

Jiraiya smiled and hugged him with one arm. "Thanks, kiddo."

Minato grinned wryly. "You're welcome, Sensei."

They finished the dishes in peace.

"I hate just sitting around," Kakashi announced. "Why don't we go train or something?"

"You can use the back yard," Jiraiya said. He gestured. "Come on. It's right through the back door, here."

He directed Kakashi, Obito, and Rin to the back door, situated between the kitchen and the dining area. The door stood opposite a small pantry area, and another door that led to a small bathroom. "Here ya go."

"Thanks, Jiraiya-sensei." Rin smiled up at him.

"Are you sure you want your yard all torn up?" Obito asked. "Kakashi trains hard."

Jiraiya laughed. "I've torn the yard up more than once myself. Don't worry. I just use earth jutsu to rebuild it. I'll come in after you guys are done training and put it to rights."

They piled out into the yard, and Jiraiya closed the door. He watched them from the kitchen window, keeping an eye on them. Minato came to stand by Jiraiya's shoulder, looking out at his students as well. Kakashi immediately launched into a taijutsu exercise, attempting to take on Obito and Rin at the same time.

"Do you think they'll be okay?" Jiraiya asked quietly. "They all seem shaken up by what's happened."

"Tragedies make the team stronger," Minato said. He was frowning and pale, but seemed sure of himself. "We'll knit as a team. Helping each other come through this crisis okay will improve our teamwork together."

"Still, Kakashi's in kind of a bad way…" Jiraiya trailed off. He knew what he meant to say, but he didn't know how to say it. Somehow, he always ended up confessing everything to Minato. Even though Minato was the student and he was the teacher, he often ended up leaning on Minato for support that Tsunade and Orochimaru either wouldn't or couldn't give. He worried that it was unhealthy.

But Minato didn't seem to mind, and Kushina had even helped him a couple times when he felt really unsure of himself about something.

"Tsunade thinks I can't make it," Jiraiya admitted finally.

Minato quickly turned to face him.

Jiraiya attempted a smile. "I don't have to say what Orochimaru thinks."

"Sensei…" Minato pressed his lips together firmly into a thin line, and then said, "Don't listen to what Tsunade has to say. I know you're in love with her, but…you take too much stock in what she has to say about you."

Jiraiya supposed he should have seen Minato's assessment coming.

"You can do it." Minato took Jiraiya's arms and squeezed gently. "You're a strong person. I know you can."

Jiraiya knew it was useless to shake his head. Minato would just get angry and then give him a pep talk. "I didn't…I didn't expect this." I didn't expect to raise my grieving nephew. He glanced out the window.

Kakashi was on the ground, and Obito and Rin were on top of him. They were all tangled up together and struggling. And oddly, Kakashi looked happy. He still fought them off with all his strength, though, trying to free his arm. He had Obito on one arm, and Rin on the other. They were trying to pin him as a team effort.

Minato followed Jiraiya's gaze and snorted, breaking out into a smile. "Kakashi-kun often says he can take them without using his nature release attacks. He hasn't been able to follow through with that threat yet."

Jiraiya laughed. "Is that so? Kakashi boasting? I wouldn't have thought it."

Minato shook his head. "It's not boasting. Not exactly. It's more like a challenge."

"A challenge?" Jiraiya raised his eyebrows.

"You must know the Turtle Sage's boy, the young man from the Maito clan," Minato said.

Jiraiya nodded. "Indeed. I would say Maito Gai is fairly hard to miss."

Minato grinned. "Well, he came up with a game: the challenge game. He challenged Kakashi to a series of fairly absurd games, all of which Kakashi refused to play with him…but the idea seems to have caught on. Kakashi will now challenge Obito or Rin to do things, or say that he bets he can do something, even if he ultimately can't, just to make their sparring more exciting."

"Really." Jiraiya absorbed that information. "Kakashi, playing. I'll bet Sakumo didn't know about this."

"I'd think not," Minato said. His expression turned regretful. "On the first day of survival testing, when this team was put together, Kakashi said he didn't play games."

"Something Sakumo wouldn't approve of, I guess," Jiraiya said.

Minato nodded. "Exactly right. When I asked him why, he told me that his father said ninjas don't play games." He winced and scratched his cheek. "And then he asked me if I was a real ninja or not."

"Ouch," Jiraiya said.

"I learned not to take offense," Minato said. He shrugged. "It's just his father, is all." Then he paused. "I guess what I mean to say is, 'was'. I'll have to start saying that now, won't I?"

Jiraiya squeezed his shoulder. "I'm afraid so."

"I grew so used to disliking him." Minato looked guilty. "Even knowing he was your brother. I couldn't find it in my heart to…like him. Because of the way he raised Kakashi-kun. So serious."

"I know," Jiraiya said. "I was there, remember? He started teaching Kakashi how to hold a kunai when Kakashi was two years old. I objected that that was a little early, and he told me that if I disagreed with his parenting again, he'd banish me from the house, and I would no longer be able to visit Kakashi."

He bit the inside of his cheek. "Well, you know me. I lasted six months, and then I opened my big mouth again. I wasn't even invited to Kakashi's third birthday party."

Minato touched his arm. "I remember."

"Oh, yeah." Jiraiya's gaze drifted out the window. "That's right, you were there." An understatement, really. He'd spent Kakashi's third birthday in a mixture of denial and hurt feelings, drinking himself into insensibility. Minato had to take him home from the bar before he did something stupid.

Minato tactfully changed the subject. "Gai-kun is good for him. I wish they'd play together more often." He smiled ruefully. "But you know Kakashi-kun. You can't call it playing or he'll swear off of it forever. Still…playing is what it is, and he seems to love it. Look at him out there."

Jiraiya laughed; Kakashi and Rin were now trying to capture Obito. Obito ran around the yard, scrambling out of reach. Kakashi had a length of rope and he looked awfully determined to make use of it. "I see it's Obito's turn to be 'it'."

"Mm-hmm." Minato nodded, unable to suppress a grin. "Ever since I tied them up during survival training, they seem to love that, too. They'll take any chance they can get to tie each other to trees and things."

"You've created a bunch of monsters," Jiraiya teased.

Minato chuckled. "Yes, well, they are lively, aren't they?" He added spontaneously, "I love them all so much."

Jiraiya wrapped his arm around Minato and hugged Minato to his side. "They'll be okay. Like you said."

Minato took a deep breath, and then nodded.

xXx

The kids played – or as Kakashi preferred to say, trained – in the back yard for a few hours, but eventually Rin and Obito had to go home. Kakashi was polite, wishing them goodbye and seeing them off in an adult manner, but Jiraiya could tell his nephew was disappointed.

Kakashi closed the front door once his teammates were out of sight and looked up at Minato. "Are you going, too, Minato-sensei?"

The look Kakashi gave Minato almost broke Jiraiya's heart.

Minato bent down and ruffled Kakashi's hair. "No, I'm staying. In fact, my wife will be over in about an hour with dinner. She's anxious to see you."

"Kushina-san?" Kakashi brightened at that. "Really?"

Minato chuckled. "Really."

"What's she bringing?" Kakashi asked.

"I don't know," Minato said. "It's a surprise."

Jiraiya grinned. "Kushina's cooking surprises are always the best. Aren't they, Kakashi-kun?"

Kakashi nodded.

Jiraiya knew that Kakashi looked to Kushina as a replacement mom. Her position had been solidified when she took care of Kakashi during a chicken pox outbreak, right after Kakashi's graduation. Sakumo had been away for a month on an ANBU mission, and Kakashi had ended up at Minato and Kushina's. Jiraiya visited once for a short while, but he'd been too afraid of getting into an argument with his brother about his involvement to stay long. Minato had filled him in later. During the peak of Kakashi's fever, Kushina stayed with him all night, reading him stories from a children's book. Kakashi didn't have any such books at home. According to Minato, Kakashi said all of his 'baby things' had been either put away or donated when he graduated the Academy.

They watched more TV while waiting for Kushina to arrive, Jiraiya on one side of Kakashi and Minato on the other.

She came, bearing large bags of food, and an endless supply of hugs. Kakashi allowed himself to be carried around in her arms gladly. She set up dinner, which Kakashi ate with far more enthusiasm than he had his lunch. It was orange chicken with vegetable yakisoba, and a hearty portion of rice.

Then she retreated with Kakashi to the sofa, and Jiraiya and Minato gave them space. Instead, Jiraiya asked for Minato's help in gathering more belongings from Kakashi's house. They ran the errand as quickly as possible, making sure Kakashi knew where they were going. Minato sealed some of Kakashi's furniture into scrolls – like his bed and his dresser.

By the time they got back, Kakashi was asleep in Kushina's arms. Jiraiya quietly led Minato back into the guest bedroom, down the hall from Jiraiya's own room. They set about swapping furniture and arranging Kakashi's belongings. Jiraiya wasn't going to make Kakashi sleep there right away, but he wanted the room to be ready.

Then it was time for Kushina to leave. She hugged Minato and Jiraiya in turn, then saved the longest, squishiest hug for Kakashi. "I have to go…but I'll be back tomorrow. Okay?"

Kakashi nodded.

Kushina kissed his forehead. "Ja ne."

"I'll be home in a few hours," Minato said.

"Alright," Kushina said. She bowed. "Good night, Jiraiya-sensei."

Jiraiya bowed in return. "Good night."

They saw her off, waving until she was out of sight, as was Konoha's custom.

Kakashi turned to Minato and Jiraiya seriously. "When is Tsunade-sama going to be here?"

"Any minute now," Jiraiya said vaguely, scratching his chin. He glanced at the clock. "Fifteen minutes, maybe?"

Kakashi nodded. "I'm going to use the bathroom." He marched off.

Jiraiya and Minato looked at each other apprehensively.

xXx

Kakashi finished using the bathroom, looked at himself in the mirror, and pulled down his mask. He sighed and splashed water on his face. Somehow, I have to get through this. As he dried his face, it occurred to him that maybe, if Jiraiya wasn't allowed to keep him, he could live with Minato and Kushina. That would be okay, too.

But what worried him about that scenario was what would happen to Jiraiya if he left. Or, more accurately, if he was taken away. He didn't want Jiraiya to be hurt.

When he came out of the bathroom and walked down the hall, he saw Tsunade entering the house. She bowed, then Jiraiya and Minato bowed, and they allowed her inside.

"Ah, Kakashi-kun," Tsunade said, glancing at him as he entered the living room. "I hope Jiraiya informed you of my visit."

"He did," Kakashi said. He went over and sat down in the middle of the sofa.

"Good," Tsunade said. "I have some questions to ask you…"

Kakashi wanted to beat her to the punch. "Are you going to send me back to the hospital? Because Minato-sensei thinks you are."

Minato looked stricken. "I…I'll be in the kitchen." He bowed. "Excuse me, please."

Kakashi wondered why telling Tsunade that was wrong.

Jiraiya winced. He mumbled softly, "Oh, Mino-kun…" He held up a hand. "Just a second." He disappeared into the kitchen with Minato.

Kakashi overheard talking, but he couldn't hear clearly enough to know the content. "You've upset them," he informed Tsunade.

"Me?" Tsunade looked surprised.

"I can tell," Kakashi said. "They think you're going to botch my treatment. Or something." He shrugged.

"Well, am I?" Tsunade said. "You tell me. I need to interview you to know what the proper treatment is. That's why I'm here."

"Oh, so if I mess it up, I am going back to the hospital," Kakashi drawled.

Tsunade frowned. "I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to," Kakashi said.

Jiraiya and Minato returned.

"We're fine," Jiraiya announced. He had his arm around Minato.

Minato looked very much as if he wanted to sit next to Kakashi on the couch. His crystal blue eyes were mournful.

"I'll ask you a series of questions, and if you answer truthfully, I don't think there will be any problem," Tsunade said gently.

"I won't lie," Kakashi said. He narrowed his eyes at her, then glanced at Minato. "I never lie. Ask Minato-sensei. He knows I tell the truth."

Minato nodded firmly. "Kakashi-kun is a good boy – a good ninja. He'll never tell you a lie, Tsunade-sama."

"Very well, then," Tsunade said. She walked closer to the sofa. "How are you feeling today?"

Kakashi shrugged. "I was fine earlier, while I was watching a movie with Minato-sensei and the rest of my team. We watched a movie called A Kitten's Story. It was really nice. I liked the part where they went home at the end." He took a deep breath. "I didn't feel so okay after lunch. But then I trained with Obito and Rin in the back yard, and I felt okay again. Obito and Rin had to leave because they had to eat dinner with their parents, and Kushina came over. She made something really nice for us to eat. Then she went home, and I used the bathroom. And you came."

"What about this morning?" Tsunade asked.

"Nothing happened this morning," Kakashi said.

"What about your blackout?" Tsunade asked.

Kakashi glared at her. "I didn't have a blackout."

"Jiraiya said you woke up in the tub," Tsunade said.

"Yeah, I sleepwalk," Kakashi said. "Oji didn't know that, so he probably just did everything he would normally do. And I ended up in the tub before I really woke up. It happens sometimes." He had to bet that with his father dead, no one else knew his sleeping habits as well as he did. If Minato suspected, though, he couldn't imagine his teacher ratting him out. Minato loves Jiraiya, too. He wouldn't want me to be taken away.

Tsunade considered him. "Are you telling the truth?"

"I told you I would," Kakashi said, giving her an irritated look.

"How do you feel about your father's death?" Tsunade asked.

Kakashi shrugged. After a moment, he suggested, "Angry?"

"Why angry?" Tsunade asked gently, sitting down next to him on the sofa.

Kakashi shrugged again. "Because that's how I supposed to feel? After all, he abandoned me. He was a traitor and he killed himself to spare the controversy. He couldn't stand to wait until after the war was over, and he might be put on trial. So he killed himself. I know all about why he did that."

Jiraiya looked horrified. "Who told you that?"

"He did," Kakashi said. "He said the Council had decided to wait to try him for treason until after the war was over, so they could make sure to try him on whether we won or lost. If we lost, I imagine they would have killed him instead of just sentencing him to suffer."

Jiraiya fell silent.

"How do you feel about your father's decision to save his team?" Tsunade asked.

Kakashi shrugged. "It was stupid."

"Why was it stupid?" Tsunade rested her hand on top of Kakashi's.

"Because he sacrificed other lives for it," Kakashi said. "He saved his teammates, but his mission would have resulted in more people living than dying. He had to take that into account. He didn't. He did what they always told us not to do in the Academy. He forgot what he was supposed to be doing, and he was selfish. He should be punished for it. It's wrong that he died first. He should have stayed, so we could punish him."

"I see," Tsunade said gently, managing to sound completely neutral.

"He was afraid of punishment," Kakashi said. "That was wrong too. They told us never to be afraid of punishment. If we just did what we were supposed to do, we didn't have to worry. He should have done what people told him to and then come home. He wouldn't have been punished."

He glanced at Tsunade. "Isn't that so, Tsunade-hime? No one would have blamed him for losing his teammates. I don't understand why he didn't do it. You're supposed to be loyal to your teammates up to a point, but eliminate them when they get in the way of the mission."

Jiraiya frowned, looking uncomfortable and angry.

"Father did everything wrong," Kakashi said.

Tsunade hugged him. "I'm sorry."

Kakashi shrugged. He didn't feel sorry or anything. He didn't even feel angry. He just felt numb. It was like it wasn't important or something. "It's okay."

"Why is it okay?" Tsunade asked gently.

"I never liked my father anyway," Kakashi said. "He was a prick."

Minato turned pale.

Jiraiya hugged him.

"That's not right," Minato whispered. "That's not right at all."

Kakashi pretended not to notice his teacher's reaction. He frowned, staring at the wall above the television set.

Tsunade waited, letting the silence lapse.

"He killed Mom," Kakashi said spontaneously.

Jiraiya gave a start. Kakashi guessed Jiraiya didn't know how much he knew about things.

"How did he do that?" Tsunade asked, as calm as ever.

"She died because he wasn't there," Kakashi said. "I know. I heard the rumors. At first they made me cry because it wasn't true, but now I know it is. He killed my mom because he didn't love us."

Jiraiya looked ill. Kakashi felt sorry that this subject was so hard for his uncle.

Kakashi turned his head and gazed at Tsunade. "He didn't love any of us. That's why Jiraiya cried." If his uncle wasn't going to say anything, then he would. He wanted Tsunade to understand how much his father hurt Jiraiya.

"Do you think Jiraiya is fit to take care of you?" Tsunade asked.

Kakashi glared at her. "I'm taking care of Jiraiya," he declared.

Tsunade just nodded. "I see. Why is this?"

"Because he needs me," Kakashi said. "We're all we have left. And I'm not going to go into some mental institution or stop taking missions because my father died. That would be petty. Jiraiya-oji needs to not cry and he needs to know that I am here for him."

"That's very mature of you, Kakashi-kun," Tsunade said.

"Of course it is," Kakashi said. "I'm a full grown adult. Don't believe me, ask Sensei. I'm an adult, aren't I, Sensei? I don't need any special considerations. I could be on my own if I wanted. But I'm here, because I want to be. I'm not going to be any trouble."

A little of the color had come back into Minato's cheeks. "That's right, Tsunade-hime. Kakashi is a full-grown adult. He can stay where he wants to."

"He agreed to stay with me for a little while," Jiraiya ventured, entering the conversation. "Because I asked him to…"

"See?" Kakashi looked from Jiraiya to Tsunade. "I'm staying. I'm helpful."

"I see that, now," Tsunade said softly.

Kakashi nodded. "So you're not going to move me to the hospital, are you? Because if you do I can't help."

"Of course not," Tsunade said. "You're staying right here."

Kakashi lifted his chin triumphantly.

Jiraiya hesitated, then crossed the room. He came over and sat down next to Kakashi. "You're a very thoughtful nephew." He slipped his arm around Kakashi.

Kakashi hugged him around the waist tightly, even though his arms wouldn't reach all the way around, and nestled his head against Jiraiya's chest. See? he wanted to say. I did fix it. Everything's alright now. Because Tsunade won't take me away. "I love you," he mumbled against Jiraiya's chest, hopefully loud enough for his uncle to hear.

Jiraiya stroked his head. "I love you, too."

"So everything's okay," Kakashi said.

Tsunade nodded. "I'll tell Sandaime my decision in the morning. Good night, Kakashi-kun."

"Good night," Kakashi said. "I hope you don't mind if I don't get up."

"I'll see her out," Minato said quietly.

Tsunade inclined her head.