As the days passed they fell into a comfortable rhythm. Olivia('Please, Nick, 'Mrs. Otterton' makes me sound so old.') would come sometime in the late afternoon. She would greet him and smile and he would act annoyed(more for his sake than hers) and they would shuffle out to the garden and eat the food she brought.
At first they didn't talk much. She would make her little comments here and there, and Nick would listen silently, focusing more on the weather than her. But after a few days he found himself actually answering her questions. He would complain about the hospital, how his room was always too cold and smelled funny, how the food sucked(and yes, he supposed her cooking was better) how the counselors and nurses irritated him. How he wished he could just leave already.
"When you do get out, do you have anywhere to go?" She asked one day as they headed back to his room. He paused, letting the question hang in the air a moment before continuing.
"Not really. I used to live...well sleep anyway, in the back of my friend's van. But I don't think that going to be an option now." Nick gave her a quick glance, "And don't even think about offering me to stay with you. I don't think I'd even fit in your house."
"Now Nick, really, if you don't have anywhere to stay..."
"I'll figure something out. Besides, I doubt the chief is gonna let me go 'til he's good and sure that I'm not gonna do something crazy once I'm out."
She huffed, "Suit yourself."
They walked in companionable silence, rounding the last turn to his room. Nick stopped when he saw Bogo standing by his door. "Speak of the devil." he muttered.
"Ah Wilde. I was hoping you'd be back soon."
Nick nodded, "What can I do ya for, Chief?"
"I hoped that you would agree to meet with someone."
"More counselors and doctors? Sorry, Chief, not really interested."
"Not quite." Bogo reached into his pocked and pulled out a neatly folded piece of paper. Nick eyed it suspiciously as he took it. "Well this certainly looks like the world's crappiest get well soon card. I understand you care, Chief, but you couldn't spluge for an envelope?"
"Just read it, Wilde."
Nick unfolded the note, his eyes quickly taking in the neat handwriting. As he read his hands started to shake, his claws unintentionally clenching and tearing small holes in the paper.
'Dear Nick Wilde,
Hello! I know that it's probably a bit forward of me, but I couldn't help but write to you. I wanted to to ask if it would be alright for me to see you. I'm in town for a few more days and I'd really like to talk. I understand if you don't want to, but please, indulge me. I've got some very important things to tell you. Get back to me when you can!
Signed,
Bonnie Hopps'
Nick quickly crumpled up the paper, tossing it to the floor. He turned to his door, forcefully pulling it open as fought back the burning in his eyes. What could she possibly want? To yell at him? To say that she hated him? That it was his fault? He didn't need someone else to tell him that. He glared up at Bogo, voice shaking as he spat back, "I'd rather not, if it's all the same to you." He slammed the door behind him as Mrs. Otterton and Bogo looked on sadly.
Bogo sighed, reaching down to pick up the note. "Well, I'm glad I didn't tell him that she's here right now."
Olivia looked up at him, "She's here?"
He nodded, "I told her that this would happen. She wanted to come up but I figured that it would be too much of a shock for him. Had her write the note instead, but I knew he wouldn't want to see her, even if she only had kind things to say."
"Could I go talk to her?" Olivia asked, and Bogo shrugged.
"Don't see why not. She's down in the lobby. Good luck. I've got to get back to work." Olivia nodded and headed towards the elevators, Bogo following close behind.
Later that night Nick made his way back to the garden. He sat dejectedly upon his bench, glaring at nothing. The cool night air was wet, and he felt dewy grass soak his feet. He couldn't see the stars, but the skyline shined in its own way and kept the black sky from feeling too empty. He breathed deeply, letting the air clear his head. Bogo and Olivia hadn't come back. Some part of him might have felt bad for how he acted, but most of him didn't care. He was so sick of everyone pitying him and trying to help. He didn't need help. Didn't deserve it. He almost wished that Mrs. Hopps would come up, yell at him, reaffirm everything he knew to be true. He clenched his fists and sighed, closing his eyes and trying to desperately to forget, even if it was just for a moment.
After a while he heard soft paws crossing the grass. He cracked an eye and saw Olivia coming over to him. She didn't talk, simply climbed up on the bench and sat next to him.
He spoke first. "You're not usually here this late."
She nodded. "Unusual circumstances require unusual hours."
"Do they." He closed his eyes again, and sounded only mildly offended as he continued, "You talked to her, didn't you."
"I did."
"And...?"
Olivia smiled. "She really wants to talk to you."
Nick huffed and turned away from her. "Nick..." She sighed, shaking her head, "Please. You need to talk to her. Trust me."
He looked at her and his eyes were filled with hopeless resignation. But under it was something else, fear, and perhaps the smallest amount of hope. She gave him a kind smile, reaching over and patting his arm. He couldn't help but be reminded of another gentle touch, another understanding glance. Even now the memory still burned bright in his mind, her soft voice clear as the night air.
'Nick...You are so much more than that.'
His eyes flooded, and held back the tears as he placed his paw over hers. He gave her a helpless, watery smile. His voice was quiet when he spoke, shaking his head. "I'm scared."
"Don't worry, It's going to be alright. I promise."
"Ok." He nodded, "Ok."
Olivia waited for Nick to compose himself before she stood and walked the short distance to the hospital hall. She pushed open the large door, and found Bonnie looking at her expectantly.
"He's pretty fragile right now, but he said you could come talk to him."
Bonnie nodded, her eyes thankful. "I'm glad." Olivia shared her look, but her face soon fell.
"What is it?" Bonnie asked, her voice filling with worry.
"He's just so sad...so lonely. I just wish there was more I could do." She sniffed, wiping her eyes hastily, "Oh goodness, look at me. You go on, I'll be ok here." Bonnie looked hesitant, but nodded, pushing open the door.
The cool night air brushed through her fur, and her eyes took a moment adjusting from the bight hallway to the dark garden. She sighed when she saw him, hunched on a bench not far from her, his red fur dull in the shadows. His arms hung limply at his sides, and he kept his gaze turned away from her, his ears being the only indication that he knew she was there.
She walked slowly over to him, keeping her footsteps light and quiet. She stood awkwardly be the bench, letting him speak first.
"Hi." His voice was rough and weak, he still refused to look at her.
"Thank you for agreeing to see me." She said quietly, "I know you didn't want to." He didn't respond, so she stepped closer, bringing her hand to rest lightly on the bench.
"You know...Judy told me about you." Bonnie smiled to herself, "She told me a lot about you. When...when she came home I knew she was upset. She wouldn't admit it but she had given up her dream and it crushed her." Her voice got quiet and light, "But trust me, she was more upset over losing you."
Nick curled into himself tighter, arms wrapping around his chest, but his ears were still angled towards her, so she continued.
"She told me that you were the kindest, most trustworthy mammal she had ever met. She said she hopped one day that she could find a way to fix things. Even when she was at her lowest she only thought about you and the other animals who were suffering."
As she talked she slowly came closer to the bench, her footsteps soft in the dewy grass. Nick shrunk away from her as she sat down. She took a moment to get comfortable before continuing.
"Judy spoke so highly of you. And if she could trust you that much, well, then I know that what happened could never be your fault."
Nick's breathing hitched, and Bonnie slid closer to him, resting her hand in the space between them.
"Nick…Judy loved you. She loved you more than she knew. More than you knew. And I know that she would never blame you for what happened. Never."
"How can you say that?" He asked, his voice harsh, "I'm the reason your daughter is dead. I killed her. How can you just act like that's ok?" He looked up at her then, his face broken, his eyes filled with almost childlike confusion and fear.
Bonnie shook her head and smiled, and she slowly reached over to him. He flinched and his breathing quickened, panic clear in his eyes, and she stopped, but when he didn't move away she took his arm and gently pulled him close, enveloping him in a tight hug. He stiffened, but her warmth soon seeped into him. It was a mother's hug, kind and full of forgiveness and understanding. Something he hadn't felt in a long, long time.
Her voice was soft when she spoke, and Nick felt the words cut deep, right to his heart. "It's not your fault."
His face contorted, and before he could stop it he was crying, big, wet tears that he was sure soaked into her fur, but she still pulled him closer. He buried his face against her neck, and it was a bit awkward, but she was rubbing comforting circles in his back and whispering kind words and he couldn't bring himself to care. At some point he realized that he was apologizing between his sobs, and she replied, whispering again and again that she forgave him, that it wasn't his fault.
And somewhere, deep, deep inside him, he started to believe her.
