Meredith felt sick.

Sick to her stomach.

Sick, like she was going to vomit at any moment!

Why are you doing this to yourself? She thought, as she tightly gripped the bottom of the seat that she was sitting on.

She had no idea why she sitting in the theatre room watching the surgery. Chief Webber had taken her off the case that morning. He had said at the time, that it had something to do with her working too many hours in a row; and therefore he had ordered her to go home and rest. But she knew better than that. The real reason that she had been taken off his nieces' surgery; had to do with her: Addison Shepherd, Derek's cheating, adulterous ex-wife; who also happened to be so gorgeously beautiful that Meredith's chances of Derek still picking her over Addison; were now clearly slim to none.

Meredith, who was starting to feel extremely anxious started shaking her legs together and apart. She had been shaking them so long and hard that, her legs were now burning; almost as if she had just done a killer cardio work out. But the ache in her sore legs was nothing compared to the stabs that her heart felt every time Derek looked up at his wife.

He obviously still loves her. So why torment yourself? She thought to herself; as her mind started to feel with all kind of thoughts from doubt to insecurity to worthlessness.

Go home, Meredith! She mentally scolded herself. She knew that this is only making her more upset!

Sighing heavily she stood up and was ready to leave the theatre, when she caught Derek's eyes on her, making her stop abruptly.

Meredith waited for the smile. The smile, that Derek always gave her, whenever he wanted to tell her that 'things would be okay'.

But it never came.

Derek dropped his eyes quickly from her and then looked back at his beautiful wife.

A sort of jealousy surged throughout Meredith's veins; making her blood boil as she clenched her hands into tight fists.

She hated Addison Montgomery Shepherd with a burning passion! She didn't care that she hadn't known her personally to come to that conclusion. In her eyes, she was the enemy. She was the enemy getting in the way of her future happiness with Derek, the man she was crazy in love with. In her eyes, she was just one of those people you hate; without giving them a chance to redeem themselves. Meredith would never judge someone without knowing them better; she was always gave people the benefit of the doubt; but she would not make that exception for Addison.

Addison was the only thing standing in the way of the life she wanted with Derek. Two days ago, her life had seemed perfect and now, it was a chaotic mess! Her perfect world, the life that she had created with Derek, had been turned upside down the second the fiery red-head had appeared at Seattle Grace Hospital. Since then, Meredith was not able to get a moment's break from the small voice in her head that taunted her with the insecurities she was starting to feel.

Derek loved her, right? They had been together for the last eight months. Surely that meant something to him!

He was going to pick her over Addison, right? He had to pick her, his loving, loyal girlfriend over a cheating spouse! He would be so stupid to throw away what they had for someone that couldn't stay faithful to him in the first place! She thought, as she started to over analyse every single detail; like she did whenever she was stressed out.

All she needed at this point was one smile from him. One small smile and she would be thoroughly content. She would know that she was still in this and that he hadn't given up hope on her just yet. One little smile to say that he loved her, that he would pick her in a heartbeat, that she had nothing to worry about with Addison showing up; that he was crazy about her and not his ex wife!

Meredith waited, as patiently as she could for the smile; praying to a God that she did not believe in for some form of hope. And almost as if as her prayers had been somewhat answered; she saw Derek's smile. The small smile instantly relaxed her and made her heart skip for joy quickly and then fall back to the bottom of her stomach in an instant.

Derek was smiling, but it was not at her.

He was smiling at Addison.

He was smiling at his ex wife. The woman that had broken his heart when she had cheated on him.

Suddenly the nauseating feeling re-surfaced again and Meredith felt like she was about to throw up all over the theatre room. She needed to get out of there and get some fresh air to clear her head. Negative thoughts started to fill her brain, as the memories she cherished with Derek started to fade out, almost as if a distant memories of a happier time in her former life. Hot tears burned her eyes and came flooding down her cheeks.

Was this really the end?

x

Don't be jealous, Addie…

Jealousy is a rotten trait to possess…patience is much better! Addison said to herself as she pulled off her gloves. Don't look up at her again…stay calm… she repeated over and over in her head. Don't let her get the best of you! She is only doing this to get a reaction of out you. She is trying to get under your skin, to show you that she is not threatened by you and that she will not be phased by you. You need to be the better person here! You need to keep a cool head, stay above her level and keep your dignity... You do not have to lower yourself to her tacky standards!

But despite the constant drilling, it was a lot harder to not look up at Meredith, than she had thought!

Addison hated the way that Meredith stared at her husband. She hated the way that she longed for him. She hated how she shot daggers with her eyes whenever she saw her. Meredith was clearly possessive of Derek and saw her as the competition.

But Meredith had another thing coming, if she thought that Addison would give up on Derek without a fight! Derek was not only her husband; but the love of her life…and she was not going to back down that easily. As long as Derek still showed that he loved her; Addison was determined to fight to the end, to reclaim their love!

Addison had finished all that she could with Alisha's emergency C- Section surgery. Everything looked good on her end and Alisha had successfully given birth to a beautiful baby girl. Now, all that was left to do was wait for Derek and that was going to take a lot of patience.

Derek had managed to pull Alisha back out of the danger zone. He had managed to revive her after she had flat lined, shortly after Addison had delivered her baby girl. According to Derek, the rest of the surgery was smooth sailing from there on; the blood colts were removed and Alisha's internal brain bleeding was contained. Derek was just finishing up the final touches on her and he was eminent that he would only be another half hour.

"Addison?" Derek asked, as she was about to exit the OR.

"Yes?" She asked quickly snapping up her head; her heart pumping a lot faster than usual.

"I was wondering… if you would wait for me in the foyer. I will be finishing up soon."

A small smile spread across Addison's lips and she nodded. Her heart fluttered uncontrollably at the smile; Derek always had that sort of affect on her and she loved it.

"Okay then, I'll see you in twenty minutes." He said, his smile spreading wider across his face.

"See you then." She said smiling back, before she walked out of the OR.

Had the OR's scrubbing room not been made out of glass; Addison would have jumped up and down on the spot like a crazy woman. She was certain that Derek was going to avoid her as long as possible. She never would have thought that she would be meeting up with him tonight, instead of heading back to her empty hotel room alone and miserable.

He had smiled at her. That had to be some sort of sign, right? Was he maybe wanting to speak to her about giving their marriage a second chance? Addison did not want to get too ahead of herself or get her hopes up high, only to be disappointed again; but it had to be good news that he wanted to see her. Why else would he smile at her? He surely would not be smiling at her, if he had decided to sign the divorce papers! She thought as she scrubbed her hands under the running tap; her eyes never leaving Derek's gorgeous face.

x

Author's Note:

Hey guys, I don't know if anybody is still reading this because I am not getting any reviews. I will leave this story up for about a week, but if I am not feeling any love I will more than likely delete it and focus on my other stories on here. For anybody out there that wants me to continue, please let me know. It would be nice to know that I am not writing in vain. Thanks!

Paris x