You (Can) Just Dance

A week or so after the disatersous Tokyo-3 Today fiasco, NERV was once again in trouble in terms of its image. And not just because of Joker's actions and speech on International television, as the episode had been a special broadcast.

It had all started with an Angel sighting.

Units 01 and 02 had been mobilized

"You see, clown boy? Clean and easy." Asuka bragged. "Just like a battle should be."

"Uh…."

The angel then became two. One purple, one red.

"OH THAT IS JUST BULLSHIT!" Misato roared in anger.

"HO HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

"THAT'S NOT FUNNY!" Misato shouted back. Joker just kept laughing, his Eva along with him.

Luckily for the Major, it didn't last long….as the angel(s) promptly attacked the shocked and laughing pilots.

"Of course you realize…." Joker growled, his Eva's head down in the dirt while its legs were upright. "This means war."

XXX

Suffice it to say, the briefing was not a pleasant.

As brief as the battle had been,

"What is your duty?"

"..To defeat the angels?" Asuka asked.

"Spread smiles and cheers?" Joker beamed.

In another universe, Fuyutsuki would've snapped at the two and reminded them that their duty was to WIN against the angels, with the subtle implication of looking like they were well trained when they did it.

But everyone has their bad days, and even Gendo there to amuse him at his reactions to Shinji's antics, Fuyutsuki found himself acting as

"Do you think this is funny, boy?" The old man snapped.

"Oh no, sir. No, no, no, no, no. Not at all….." Joker saluted before breaking into a smile. "I think it's hilarious."

"What would your mother think?"

He'd meant to whisper or just think those words. Unfortunaetly, he realized all to late he'd said them out lout.

BANG!

A bullet hole steamed just beside the Sub-Commander's cheek, which had been grazed.

All eyes turned to the clown boy, who pulled out a pistol with a barrel that was far too long and was glaring at the old man.

He growled at the older man, who he once thought of as being one of the few NERV members he could tolerate. This thought had died with those words.

"Listen and listen well. Because I will not repeat myself."

He growled. Like a lion in anger. He'd never done that before.

All of a sudden, everyone wanted the insane and unpredictable Joker back. That they could handle; in spite of his unpredictability, he was often pretty tame. A pissed off Joker, on the other hand?

All of NERV, and even Tokyo 3 agreed: They'd rather go through another Impact.

"Get it through your skulls, the lot of you!" Joker roared to all in the room, waving his gun around with a look of fury on his face. "I! Am! NOT! My mommy!"

He then marched out the room, slamming the door shut.

He then promptly opened it again.

"As much as I want to be! Minus the mammaries. I like my little me. And flat form. So….yeah. I'm done here."

He slammed the door shut.

He then promptly opened it again.

"Joker's leaving the Geofront, people!"

He slammed the door again.

He then promptly opened it again and walked over to where he'd been standing.

"Forgot to wash my hands!"

He went over to the conveniently placed sink and then walked out of the room, slamming the door shut.

He did not come back after that.

XXX

"…This is really the best option?" Misato asked a few minutes later.

"Apparently. The MAGI says so." Ritsuko sighed

"And you're sure…?"

"No, Shinji, or Joker, or whatever you want to call him, has played no role in this." Ritsuko sighed. "We checked 12 times to be sure. His friend Kenny did not hack again and do this at all."

Misato let out a sigh, a smile crossing her face. This could be fun; getting the two best pilots to work together in perfect synchronization would give her plenty of teasing material. And call her naïve, but she was certain Shinji's interactions with Asuka was bringing him out of his cracked, demented shell….

Not that she didn't want him to completely leave it, mind you.

There was a certain…cute charm to his madness.

Misato's smile turned from a teasing one to concerned and loving one as she focused her attention on her best friend.

"So….How're you holding up?"

The blonde turned to her old friend, a grateful look in her eyes. Rei's vengeful treatment of the doctor was a NERV secret that left many with mixed emotions. Ritsuko now appritaited the human aspect of the pilots and would cringe ever so slightly at the sight of the First Child

"The sessions help." She confessed.

"Which ones?" Misato teased. "The ones with the therapist, or Maya?"

"MAJOR!"

Said technical officer blushed and buried herself into her work as the two older women laughed and lightly hugged each other.

"On the plus side, this gives me the excuse to buy that game I always wanted…" Misato mused.

XXX

Evidently, the dance-off machine didn't go as well as Misato hoped:

The two pilots chosen for the operation, ironically the same who'd had their butts handed by the angel already, may have been romantically involved (depending on what one considers such), abut this didn't do much in the long run

"Well so much for sync!" Asuak huffed in anger while Joker/Shinji simply panted.

"I really gotta work on my cardio…" He gasped.

"You really do." Rei mused.

She, Hikari, Touji and Kensuke had come by to drop off Shinji and Asuka's homework, to be greeted to the sight of the two in odd outfits and sleeping in sync with deep bags under their eyes.

The plan was for them to reach 100% synchronization within a week. So they eat, dressed, bathed and even slept together. Luckily or unluckily, again depending on how one interprets the situation, Misato was there to make sure no one's wondering hands ventured too far.

"I can't be expected to sync with this loony, uncoordinated, pasty faced…!" Asuka ranted.

"...Hey…" Joker and Rei said together.

"…juvenile, idiotic…Arrrgh!"

"Asuka, this is the best way to defeat the angel." Musato managed, a sly smile crossing her face. "Am I to understand you're giving up?"

"But you don't have anyone else, do you?' Asuka smiled confidently.

Misato smiled knowingly, and Shinji picked up on this.

"Rei?"

"Yes, mam."

Rei got up, took Asuka's place

Confusion filled Asuka: How? What? Why?

SHE was Shinji's girlfriend! SHE was the genius pilot! How was Wonder-gIrl keeping in perfect sync with him? Only she should be able to do that!

Wait, wait. She reminded herself. She knew what to do.

Reaching into her pocket, she found the coin she'd used to help her…remove Papa and the skank.

She pulled out the coin; heads she'd be fine with this, tails she'd flip out.

"Asuka?" Hikari asked, going ignored by her friend, who flipped a coin.

The redhead carefully and worriedly lifted her hand and saw her choice….Tails.

And instantly, the waterworks started. She then stormed out, leaving the whole party confused.

"Asuk…BABY, WAIT!" Joker dashed after her, falling flat on his face as he chased after her. "Sweetie! Gelibete! My reason for feigning sanity!"

…..

….

…..

…..

"This is why I have no interest in a romantic relationship." Rei said simply. "Ever."

"Oh come on, Rei!" Misato smiled teasingly. "Give it a try sometime. All you got to do is find the right guy or gal and then you'll never look back! Just look at me and Kaji."

"I have. And then I look how you turned out when a bump arose."

…..

"I'm going to forget I heard that." Misato sighed, pulling out her phone and texting Kaji to pick her up.

"Give the poor man a break."

"You shut your mouth!"

She the received a text from Shinji/Joker:

Watch your seats.

XXX

The two lovers met up at a convenience store, with Asuka

"…It's not THAT big a deal, is it?" Joker asked. "I mean, me and Rei are long lost siblings, it makes sense I Guess…"

"You're being too simplistic!" She huffed. "And to think you're the man in my life!"

"…Ouch, baby." Joker pouted. "Very ouch."

That hurt almost as much as the pasty skin uip. She knew about the chemical bath!

Wait.

Did she know?

Wait, nope.

No.

No she didn't.

"I must avenge myself!" Asuka finished her tirade as she tore through a sandwich. "You and Wonder-girl may only care about spreading laughs, but I HAVE to kill the angels! It's my duty!"

And, while she won't admit it, all she has, her boyfriend mused, much to his irritation.

It was funny, in a way. And yet, it filled the clown prince of Tokyo-3 with anger. Asuka was beautiful, brilliant, badass in every manner of the word…and yet she had, aside from him and maybe Hikari, no one to….

He then remembered the promise he'd made to Kyoko.

"Asuka?"

"What?!" She snapped at him, finishing off her sandwich in anger.

"I may have an idea to help with our sync." Joker said. "You won't understand it right away."

XXX

They made their way to the EVAs, the tech bunnies scrambling to get ready after they each received a text from Joker.

"How is a sync test going to help?" Asuka asked aloud, Joker following her. He then moved in front of her, his eyes softening as if to know Shinji was now at the helm.

"What do you know of my first fight?"

"You killed the angel with no experience." Asuka admitted plainly, some pain still in her pride.

"Well, what the reports probably left out, and please let me finish before you react, was that I went into the red-zone and the EVA itself took over for what is considered me killing it. And…I saw someone who I never thought I'd see again."

"…Who?" Her interest was no peaked.

He opened his mouth, only to stop himself. She was contemplating this, if he said any more than nessacary, she'd refuse.

"That'd be telling." Her boyfriend said. "Just…go in there as deep as you can. But this time, open your mind 100% and let the flow guide you."

"But that'll…."

"Trust me." He said, taking her hands into his own and looking deep into her eyes.

Asuka let out a sigh

"I already do, baka Shinji."

The boy let out a smile.

Asuka then slipped into her Plug-suit and activated Unit 02 as usual. But this time, she truly opened up.

BEEP!

BEEP!

BEEEP!

Shigureu and Makokta began to sweat as Asuka's sync rate went deeper and deeper. They were just about to end the test and pull her out when…

"Leave her there."

The tech-bunnies turned to see Joker, an overly long, three barrelled pistol in his hands.

"Five minutes." He requested, "All she'll need."

The tech bunnies did as they were told, but only truly relaxed once the gun was holstered back

True to Joker's words, five minutes later, Asuka came back into 'the safe zone' and ended her connection with Unit 02. He holstered his gun and made his way back down, where she leapt into his arms, tears down her face.

"You knew, didn't you?" She whispered, her voice coarse from crying.

"…."

"Well?" She demanded in whisper.

"….I had a thought, but had no idea it was your mom in there." He admitted truthfully. "Until the day of the interview."

Asuka cleared her eyes

"Hey, hey." He cooed. "Don't cry. Please. Turn that frown upside down. You know I can't stand to see you sad."

They eventually made their way back home, to find Misato out with Kaji and their classmates most likely back at their own homes.

Rei had left a note:

Heading to make sure the hyneas didn't kill everyone in the building. Keep up your training. See you tomorrow.

PS, use protection.

Rei.

PPS. Seriously.

Shinji blushed at his sister's implication before taking it as a sign she was accepting Asuka as a part of his crazy life.

Exhausted from the day's events, Asuka had already returned to her futon and was drowsing off when he finally made his way to his own.

He was justa bout to slip away into a deep slumber when he felt a pair of arms wrap around him. He turned to see Asuka straddling him and lifting her shirt.

"W-wait a sec!" Shinji noted. She stopped and gave him a look of confusion and longing.

"Don't you want me?" Asuka asked, some desperation in her voice.

"More than anything."

His eyes, normally hard and sadistic, were now pools of gentle, comforting love and patience.

"But only if you really, really, really want this. It can wait, you know that."

Asuka cupped his face and leant in closer. He did the same and smiled sweetly and yet weakly.

"I….

"….love…."

"You."

Their lips met as they collapsed onto a futon.

XXX

"I dreamt last night." Shinji told Masataka over the phone the next morning as he prepped breakfast.

"And I take it you usually don't?" Masataka inquired as he watched Max prepare their own breakfast, clad in nothing in his shirt and her underwear.

"Not like this."

"Well, do you…?"

"Yeah, that's the weird part." Shinji then began explaining his dream. "First thing I see is two kids; a little girl with black hair in Asuka's style and a red haired boy looking like me before…you know. Asuka is in the kitchen making pancakes and I think I'm just getting downstairs cause my vision goes up and down, up and down and up and down. The kids see me, and they rush me with the single brightest smiles.

Masataka's eyes glowed with hope

"And the word?"

"…daddy." Shinji admitted.

Two arms then wrapped themselves around Shinji's neck. Two arms he never got tired of seeing. Glancing over his shoulder, he spied Asuka smiling sleepily at him.

"Who you talking to?"

"Asuka, this is Masataka Ikari." The voice said on the other end. "Joke…I mean, Shin… I mean…your boyfriend's grandfather."

"And the new shrink of NERV." Shinji added

Asuka balked at that announcement.

"Wait, we have a shrink?! Since when?"

"Apparently, having the so called hero of humanity being a homicidal psychopath with a cruel sense of humor does things. And who better to be around than the one person with an inkling of how his mind works?" Masataka joked. "I actually have a session with Shinji today, but seeing as your training….i'll be over in an hour or so. I'd be more than happy to listen to you, as well."

"MINE!" Joker hollered over the phone, wrapping his arms around Asuka. "You can't have her, Jiji! I'm not sharing!"

Masataka choked on his words

"HA HA HA HA HA!" The two teens laughed. "See you in a few, old man."

"Um….yes. Yes, yes, of course."

"Sensei, breakfast is here." A female voice cooed over the other end.

"Please button your blouse, Max." Masataka whispered. "Or we migt change the menu…"

"We can hear you, ya know." Shinji added.

….

The call ended, leaving the teens in a mix of gross shock

"Ew."

"I know, right?"

"…And that could've been me and Kaji." Asuka realized.

Luckily, her lover's lips quickly made her forget that thought…as did it make the two of them forget breakfast.

XXX

An hour later Masataka and Max arrived.

"Are you still alright with this, Shinji?" The older man asked his grandson, who shurrged.

"I may be as nutty as a Snicker's bar, but I did say I'd do this. And unlike a certain bearded bastard…"

Both men growled at this.

"…I keep my promises. So, I guess I'll give it a shot."

Remembering the events of the previous day and seeing that Shinji was unintentionally stealing the spotlight from her, Asuka subtly took her coin out of her pocket and gave it a flip.

"So, what seems to be the problem, today?"

"IT'S MY PAPA!" Asuka suddenly shouted, tears stinging her eyes as she wrapped her arms around Masataka. "I HATE HIM! AND THAT SLUT HE MARRIED!"

Shinji's brow twitched ever so slightly at the sight.

Two minutes later…

"And then, when I was five…" Asuka remembered, clutching a pillow as Shinji sat beside and comforted her. "He took me to The Sound of Music….and made me root against the Von Trapps!"

"Go ahead, let it out…" Masataka cooed, with Max handing the girl a glass of water.

Misato then came in, slightly dishelved and surprised by the crowd in her apartment.

"Oh." She said aloud. "Did I miss some…?"

"You must be Major Katsuragi." Mastaka smiled

"Actually, it's Colonel now." Misato smiled back, giving the man a glance over and a handshake.

"Masataka Ikari." The older man smiled. "Phd in Teen Pyshcology, minors in general. Head psychologist of NERV Tokyo branch. I think you mught;ve heard of me."

"Indeed I have." Misato smiled as Pen-Pen waldled in, "Though I didn't think you'd be this good looking…"

Max growled.

"AHEM!" Asuka coughed. "Hello! Traumatized girl pouring her heart and soul out here!"

"Excuse me." Masataka said, returning his attention to the red-head.

An hour later…

Asuka found herself pushed back up as Masataka prepared a series of inkblot image.

"Just tell me the first thing that comes to your mind."

The first inkblot came up.

"My Papa and the skank ignoring me."

Another inkblot.

"My Papa and the skank ignoring me."

Another inkblot.

"Nickelback in a rap battle with the Bare Naked Ladies."

Grandfather and grandson both looked at that inkblot in interest, shot each other confused looks and then shrugged it off. Masataka then showed the last ink-blot.

"My Papa and the skank ignoring me."

"If I may?" Masataka said as he put the ink blots away. "Asuka, you may be projecting some of your anger towards your father and…that woman you've mentioned…in your…"

"Well, duh!" Asuka shouted. "Did you forget everything I poured out already?! I was right! All the men in the Ikari family are bakas!"

The aura of said men blackened for a moment and their forms trembled with barely contained rage.

"Asuka…" Shinji pouted, a slight growl. "That…being….is not an Ikari."

"He merely took up my daughter's name." Masataka growled. "Another sign I should've noticed…"

Max leant in and whispered into Asuka's ear

"Lesson #1…never in any way, paint the 'you know who' of NERV in the same light as those two."

She then did the same for Misato and Pen-Pen the penguin.

The two men breathed away their anger, their eyes returning to gentle but strong

"…Sorry."

"No, not a problem. Anger is natural."

"But I still can't believe your Shinji's grandpa!" Asuka said. "I mean, look at you! You're a bodybuilder! And so serious…where's the Joker wit? The classic comedy like Three's Company, Bewitched and Charlie Chaplin but with references that don't ruin the joke, so I know it's actually intelligent and up to par with 21st century crowds?!"

Masataka and Max shot Joker/Shinji a confused look

"Kami, I love this woman…" He smiled, gazing at his red haired goddess of sanity.

Another hour later…

"Alright, my turn." Max announced. "Asuka, I'm sure you've at least heard of role play…"

"Yeah, yeah, it's what pathetic nobodies do to feel important. Real class and amusing." Asuka half-heartedly said. "Get back to me!"

Max humphed at the girl's attitude, but calmed herself.

"Well, while Masataka sensei disapproves of it on a more professional level than you, role-playing has proved to be very cathartic in some cases."

"One problem." Asuka smirked. "Thanks to Shinji, I killed papa and the skank…"

The three adults shot the boy a glance.

"Oh, don't look so shocked!" He glared back. "You know me!"

"And that's what's messing her up?" Misato asked.

"Probably not entirely." Masataka said, Max nodding. "But it'll probably help."

"I took the liberty of making a pre-recorded German conversation and having it editing to a more male voice."

"And I helped!" Joker smiled, pulling out a photo that Max took and taped to one of Misato's pillows. "You're not going to miss this one, are you?"

Misato shook her head.

"Well, we're going to step out into the kitchen and leave you with the voice and this likeness of your father." Max explained. "Just behave in any way you want. Show us how you feel, there'll be no judgements."

They then left, pulling Shinji away.

"Guttentag, Asuka." The voice said in what may would consider a warm and welcoming tone. "Would you like to get some strudel at the kugergarden?"

Asuka pulled out her coin and gave it a flip. Heads she'd be rational, tails she do what she'd wanted to do for years, yet forgotten at the theme park.

Tails.

An unholy roar filled the apartment complex, and the red-haired pilot leapt towards the source of the voice.

"HERE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS, PAPA!" Asuka roared as she began pummelling the couch

"She's a keeper." Masataka and Max said together to Shinji/Joker who merely smiled in knowing.

XXX

After that, the dance-off sessions went much better.

Rei pouted at that.

"I wanted to go with Joker."

"Maybe next time." Hikari comforted,

XXX

Morning came, and the two went shipped off to NERV to ready for the battle.

It was a short yet intense battle, with classical music in the background, sharing screaming and combo attacks, but in the end

And with that, the angel was dead.

"HOLD IT!"

"Party's not over just yet!" Joker beamed. "Rei, where you at?"

The three Evas stood side by side

"A one, and a two and a three." Rei counted

Music suddenly burst all over the city; the Evas dancing to it:

It's going down….

I'm yelling TIMBER!

You better move….

You better dance!

Let's make the night…!

You won't REMEMBER!

I'll be the one…

You won't forget!

The Evas danced to the rest of the song, taking a dramtic bow to the applause of all of Tokyo-3. The Yotube video would easily reach 6 million views and favorites in the 1st hour.

What'd you think?

The original idea was for the Evas to dance to the song 'Dream Fighter', like in a Youtube video I've seen a couple of times, but this got in my head and I figured…why not? And I really, really wanted to do an almost full episode like transcript, but on top of my other fics I have been working on a novel I hope to send to a publisher by Christmas.

A relatively closer to canon chapter for what comes next time; the story takes a darker turn and begins what I like to call 'Rise of the Supervillains' arc.

With that said, have a lovely and safe day.

Read and review, would ye kindly?