4. Courage.
T: warnings remain the same and I still own nothing other than the basic plot.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Being in the hospital surrounded by so many conflicting emotions begins to wear on his patience and thus, though he desperately wishes to talk to his cousin, to make everything right again between them, he can manage only an hour in the place before he is overwhelmed by the desire to break free.
He takes himself up onto the buildings roof, this scant separation enough to give him a little distance from the emotions, yet keep him close enough that an orderly might be able to grab him should something truly terrible occur.
"You can control it, you know."
The other has made no sound and, turning to face him, he enquires, "What, precisely, are you, Tsuzuki-san?"
The enquiry had been made slightly in jest and yet the other reacts to it as though stung, the steal walls of his emotional defences dropping a moment to wash him in guilt and bitter loneliness, sensations that cut off completely as those defences again fall into place.
"I am a Shinigami."
It is a description he understands just barely and, wishing to learn more, he enquires,
"Is that why your emotions are all but lost to me?"
"No, they are 'lost' to you because I am holding them very close to my heart."
"Why?"
"It is safer that way." It is clear, simply for the tone of the other's voice, that he has no more want to discuss this matter, thus he enquires,
"Why are you here?"
"I needed to talk to your cousin about the attack and I had hoped that I might see you here, that we might also be able to, at last, talk to one another."
"I did not see that woman die, Tsuzuki-san, nor did I see Hijiri being attacked."
"You felt the emotions of all those involved though, is that not correct?"
"Your point being?"
"That you can describe to me the killer's most intimate psyche."
"I am not certain if I can recall such a thing, Tsuzuki-san, for it has been over a month since that time."
"I would ask that you try, Kurosaki-san."
He allows his mind to wonder back to the fuzzy recollection of the evening that he had discovered the body, forces himself to recall every nuance of emotion that he had felt during that time.
Slowly a vivid emotional picture blooms in his head and, choosing his words carefully, he says,
"The killer felt…wrong… for there was such darkness within him…a fierce burning need for vengeance."
"Have you felt such a thing since that time?"
"An instant before Hijiri was attacked, which means…"
"That the killer is also the one who attacked your cousin."
There is a moment of silence and then he asks,
"Why are the Shinigami pursuing that individual, Tsuzuki-san?"
"They have been living off of the lives of others, making themselves all but immortal by slaughtering innocents."
"Then why did they not kill Hijiri?"
"Because you were the one they had been targeting not your cousin."
"Because I became involved in that woman's death?"
"You saw that body because they wished you to, because they knew of your empathy and wished to draw you out."
"To what end?"
"That I can not tell you." There is frustration clear in the other's tone and, taking a calculated risk, he enquires,
"You have been chasing this killer for a long time, have you not?"
"Seven years."
"I am certain that, this time, you shall catch him." The response brings a smile at last to the other's lips, the thing captivating despite its fragility.
"Now that you are helping I am certain that shall prove the case."
"When did I say that I was going to help?" He enquires.
He had intended the words as little more than a gentle tease and yet the other responds to them with the serious statement of, "I understand that you lead a very busy life and that helping me would be more imposition than anything else…"
"Idiot, don't you know when you're being teased?" He cuts the other off with the brusque enquiry and for a moment the elder individual looks stunned by such a thing. Then, his face breaking into false tears, he responds,
"You're mean!"
He squashes the urge to retort back to this remark, choosing instead to 'rise above' this sudden childish turn and enquire,
"This makes us partners, correct?"
The other brightens at the sound of that word and, grasping hard onto his hand; he shakes it firmly before remarking,
"Of course! We've even shaken on it like they do in those big American movies."
"Idiot."
……………………………………………………………………………………
"Something has happened, something very good." The words startle him somewhat and, putting down his recently acquired magazine, he enquires,
"How long have you been awake, Hijiri?"
"A few minutes. So what's your good news?"
"I have no 'good news'."
"Hisoka, you're practically glowing."
"I think you'd do better to worry about yourself, Hijiri."
"I'm fine, all things considered."
"Did you see the person who did this?" he enquires after a moment of silence.
"Briefly."
"Do you think you could give an accurate description?"
"I could try, why do you ask?"
"Tsuzuki-san has been chasing after the person who attacked you for the longest of times and it would be the greatest of breakthroughs for him to know what the other actually looked like."
"Tsuzuki-san…" His cousin trails as he falls into contemplation and, a few moments later, remarks, "That's the reason you look so happy."
"What?"
"You've gone bright red!" Hijiri responds, laughter clear in his eyes and in his words.
He is attempting to think of some logical response for the blush reflex, attempting to think of a way to steer the conversation back into his control when Hijiri remarks,
"I had a feeling you'd see him again, that the two of you would become close."
Over the long years that he has spent with his cousin he has learned to trust to the other's feelings, has learned to view them as statements of facts rather than the blind guesses that Hijiri always claimed them. Thus the fact that Hijiri believes he shall be a positive influence on Tsuzuki's life gives him a comfort he does not understand, that makes little sense given the brief time that he has known the elder man.
He can not but wonder why it is that he feels already so very connected to Tsuzuki, why the desire to know the whole of the elder man is becoming an all consuming ache in his heart.
Can not but wonder why he feels, already, as though he loves the other without condition.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
T: Hijiri's intuition is a weaker form of Hisoka's empathy, the logic being that such things are probably genetic and that someone else in the Kurosaki line would have some form of gift. The other loose end here (that of Hisoka's swift infatuation) is one that should be tied up in the story so I'm not going to discuss it here! Feel free to ask questions, next chapter Wednesday. Review?
